Bekah Martinez is implementing body boundaries as a way to wean from breastfeeding

Weaning a breastfeeding child can feel so daunting—even if you know it’s time for both you and your child to begin the process, the guilt and second-guessing that sometimes comes along with that knowledge can be so stressful.

That’s why the advice former Bachelor star Bekah Martinez recently shared on Instagram is so valuable. Martinez has always been open about nursing her toddler, Ruth, in tandem with her 11-month-old.

Now that Ruth is two, Martinez shared that she’s “soooo over tandem nursing” but “scared of the weaning process.”

Martinez clarified that she wasn’t concerned about weaning for herself, but for her kiddo. “I’m nervous for how Ruth will handle me telling her that she can’t have boob when Frank is having boob,” The Bachelor alum said on Instagram. “Because I have tried that [and] it does not go well.”

image 847 Motherly — Bekah Martinez/Instagram

Raise your hand if you’ve been there, done that! For little ones who don’t self-wean, the power struggle can be a very real thing. Luckily, Martinez received some amazing advice from a follower and was generous enough to share it with the rest of us. A fan sent her a DM and suggested shifting the focus from simply weaning to actually teaching a lesson on body boundaries.

“It’s important for you to show her that adults and children need to stick to their boundaries,” the fan wrote. “If your boundary is ‘No, you cannot have that of mine,’ then she will learn with time that you are consistent about that.”

Martinez then shared that she enforced that boundary with Ruth and was met with success!

“Honestly this was what I needed to hear today!!!!” she wrote back to the follower. “Was able to be gently firm about no boobie this afternoon and before bed…and I stuck to it!! one day at a time. she probably gets more confused and agitated when I give mixed messages or give into the tantrums!”

image 848 Motherly — Bekah Martinez/Instagram

Additionally, when Instagram users criticized her for nursing Ruth beyond the age of 12 months, Martinez clapped back with her reasons why no one should judge a mom who nurses her toddlers.

“At 18 months if a toddler is nursing three times a day, they get 50% of their nutrients from the breastmilk. So I don’t want to hear that BS that there’s no benefits from nursing at an older age.”

image 849 Motherly — Bekah Martinez / Instagram

This entire dialogue around breastfeeding and weaning is so important to have, because there are many resources for teaching your baby how to breastfeed, but not enough surrounding when they stop. The experience of weaning isn’t just the physical act of just stopping; it affects moms mentally, emotionally, and hormonally.

We love Bekah Martinez for sharing her insight so the rest of us can benefit from her experience too! Good job, mama.