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Having a baby is going to blow your mind (in a good way). Getting prepared is one of the best ways to welcome the most awesome transformation of your life.


Here are 10 ways to prepare for postpartum during your third trimester.

1. Arrange those cute clothes.

Really important question: Why are baby clothes so stinking cute? Another really important question: How many baby outfits should you have for a newborn?

Newborn clothes typically fit full-term babies up to 8 pounds, and then once baby lengthens and chubs up, she will transition to 3-month outfits. Pro tip from experienced moms: Don’t overdo your newborn wardrobe, as baby often grows faster than you think. (Think around 1 month, or less.)

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You might want to wash baby’s clothes in baby-safe detergent (try The Honest Company’s laundry detergent). Baby’s skin is highly sensitive after birth, so it helps to make sure clothes are freshly laundered with gentle ingredients.

To bring baby home, it helps to have the newborn basics. Here’s our newborn clothes shopping list:

  • 5 onesies (short or long sleeve, depending on season)
  • 5 soft pants, ideally with footies
  • 5 sets of socks
  • 4 sleepers (fleece or heavyweight for winter, lighter for summer)
  • 3 sweaters or layering items
  • 1 sleep sack
  • 1 all-purpose swaddle
  • 1 crazy-cute-OMG-I-can’t-wait-for-baby-to-wear-this outfit splurge ?

2. Think about your postpartum wardrobe, too.

Postpartum recovery is a crucial time for new moms.

You will still look pregnant for some time after baby is born—it’s normal!—but your body has unique needs that differ from pregnancy, so it helps to get your wardrobe ready. First, if you’re breastfeeding you’ll want shirts that have easy access for nursing. You’ll also want a few nursing bras. On the bottom side, you’re likely to need roomy pants to make way for your post-pregnancy hips and belly, as well as pads or adult diapers in the early postpartum.

Here’s our postpartum wardrobe shopping list:

  • 3 nursing-friendly postpartum shirts
  • 3 nursing bras with various features (sports bra, structured bra, sleeping bra)
  • 2 pairs of roomy lounge pants
  • 1 recovery robe
  • 1 postpartum yoga pant to smooth belly
  • 1 mama’s-still-got-it outfit that makes you feel amazing (size up from pre-pregnancy)

3. Set up a nursery nook.

The American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends that baby rooms with mom for the first months of life; moms love that they don’t have to go far to care for baby during those middle-of-the-night feedings. When you set up a small nursery nook in your bedroom, you can keep the decor simple and keep baby close.

For the closeness of co-sleeping without the stress, try a co-sleeper next to your bed. Read more on inspired ways to make a small space for baby.

4. Install the car seat safely.

Installing the car seat that you’ll tote your baby home in means that it’s really happening! It also means you’re a responsible mama who can totally be trusted to raise a tiny human from infancy to adulthood.

Buy the right seat.

Consumer Reports’ top-performing car seats for infants include:

The products review site also puts out a guide to car seat safety, with full rankings available here. (Note: Available to subscribers only.)

Install it properly.

Here’s what you need to know about safely installing and using infant car seats, from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP):

Make sure it’s rear-facing.

All infants should ride rear-facing starting with their first ride home from the hospital. For infants, rear-facing-only seats and rear-facing convertible seats are best.

And tightly in the back seat.

On where to install the seat, according to the AAP: “It may be best to ride in the middle of the back seat. However, it is sometimes difficult to install a car safety seat tightly in the middle if the vehicle seat is narrow or uneven.”

“Also, most vehicles do not have lower anchors for the middle seating position. It is safest to put the car safety seat in a position where you can install it tightly with either the lower anchor system or the seat belt; in some cases, this may be on either side of the back seat rather than the middle.”

Check out the video below for more details on how to safely install a rear-facing infant car seat, from the AAP.

Check your work.

You’ll want to make sure you install the seat properly before you head to the hospital, so consider having your work checked by a Child Passenger Safety Certified Technician (find a location near you). It can be trickier than it looks—and it’s crucial that you get it right.

The Car Seat Ladies, a doctor-nurse (and mother-daughter!) team with deep expertise in car seat safety, are also a great resource for specific questions you may have. They offer one-on-one appointments in Baltimore and NYC, and have a huge range of tips and insights for keeping your little one safe.

This video below on safely securing your baby into her car seat is also helpful.

5. Stock up on easy-to-make power meals.

Make-ahead frozen meals

You have so many options when it comes to prepping tasty eats in advance of baby’s arrival (check out BuzzFeed’s 23 fave make-ahead meals for new moms to freeze).

But you don’t have to just stock up on frozen food—you can also fill your shelves (and freezer) with power foods that will help provide great nutrition during the early days of breastfeeding.

Healthy “fast” food

Nutritionist and wellness expert Shannan Monson recommends that you stock your whole house with healthy “fast” food. Premade smoothies, protein shakes, frozen egg quiches, grilled chicken, all the prepped food you can get your hands on.

Being prepared with quick things you can eat with one hand while nursing a baby in the other will save you from skipped meals and cookie cravings the rest of the day.

You can also stock the ingredients to make hearty, healthy lunch and dinner bowls to power you through the early days of breastfeeding. Don’t overcomplicate it—just rely on shelf-stable grains and frozen veggies to power you through and mix in whatever cheese, produce and beans you have on hand.

Grain bowls

Need a quick and healthy dinner idea? @nutritionsimply here again with my favorite I-forgot-to-plan-and-we-need-to-eat dinner idea. I usually take 1⃣2⃣3⃣ and blend for baby food and voila! Din. Din. Tag a mama who'd love more quick dinner ideas and spread the love 😘 Farmer's Market Grain Bowl (serving suggestions are for 1) 1⃣ The Grain Base: quinoa, farro, wild rice, amaranth, buckwheat, etc.-- 1 cup cooked or about the size of a baseball 2⃣ The Veggie Toppings: dark leafy greens, crunchy cruciferous veggies, starchy root veggies (you can’t go wrong here--1 cup cooked or about the size of a baseball 3⃣ The Fruit Toppings: mangos, cherries, pears, and other soft, sweet fruits--¼ cup or about the size of an egg 4⃣ The Cheese Toppings: soft cheese like feta, goat cheese, and Brie are my favorites, but hard, finely shredded cheese work as well (use nutritional yeast or goat’s cheese for dairy-free option--1 ounce or about the size of a pair of dice 5⃣ The Nut Garnish: all nuts and seeds, but we tend to go for soft crunchy nuts like walnuts, peanuts, cashews, macadamia nuts and pine nuts-- 1 ounce or about the size of a pair of dice Dress with 1 TB each olive oil and balsamic vinegar or dressing of choice and serve warm for a hearty and nourishing quick weeknight meal.

A photo posted by Motherly (@mother.ly) on

And smoothie bowls

Just like the grain bowl, smoothie bowls are easy to whip up for breakfast and dessert as long as you’ve loaded up your freezer with organic fruits and berries—and stocked your cabinets with hearty ingredients like goji berries, coconut flakes, nuts and chia seeds.

Um, YUM.

6. Get the right breastfeeding support.

We know as first-time moms it’s easy to focus on overcoming labor and delivery, but the truth is that while labor is intense, it usually lasts just a day or two.

Your breastfeeding relationship will be one of the most demanding parts of life as a new mama. As Motherly’s expert lactation counselor Megan O’Neill shares:

Breastfeeding truly is one of the most unnatural natural things you will do. Mama needs to learn, and baby needs to learn. 

Learn the basics.

For some women, breastfeeding is easy. For others, it’s super demanding. Take the time to learn the basics of how breastfeeding works in new motherhood, and how often you can expect to nurse.

Lactation consultant Wendy Wisner provides an overview of what to expect as a new mama.

Take a class.

We love the idea of taking a class with popular breastfeeding expert and lactation counselor Lindsay Shipley to learn the basics so you’re not so surprised when you’re attached at the boob to your little one 24/7.

Find a breast pump.

Figure out how you can get (or rent) a breast pump. Many hospitals, birth centers, lactation consultants and mother resource centers offer rentals, but they can get pricy.

Look for a breast pump ahead of time instead of waiting till baby arrives and scrambling to pick up and pay for it. YummyMummy, a breastfeeding supply store, offers rental through its website and works with your insurance.

Get 1-on-1 support.

Ask your OB, your girlfriends or your future pediatrician’s office who they recommend. You might also want to find lactation consultants who can visit you in-house in case you have tricky issues around feeding (like some of us at Motherly did!) that require support at home.

Some lactation consultants, like Lindsey Shipley, even offer Skype sessions.

Locate a support group.

La Leche League, a breastfeeding advocacy group, offers support groups in all 50 states to help you bond with other mothers learning how to breastfeed, or find other women figuring out how to make breastfeeding work. Find one near you.

7. Prep stations around your house.

There will be a ton of diaper-changing and baby-feeding (not to mention newborn-snuggling) going on all over your house in the next few months, so we love the idea of making it easy on yourself by creating stations in several key places.

For a nursing station, you’ll want:

Where you’ll need it:

You’ll likely find several comfy spots in your home that work for feeding after baby arrives—likely in your bedroom and living room—so it’s easy to have a cluster of goodies in each station, especially if you’re going upstairs and downstairs.

For your diaper changing station, you’ll want:

  • Size 1 diapers (oh so teeny tiny and cute!)
  • Wipes (those little behinds are so precious you’ll barely mind cleaning them, we promise!)
  • Diaper cream (we’re big fans of The Honest Company Healing Balm)
  • A changing pad (either a full-size changing pad or a compact changing kit)

Where you’ll need it:

You’ll likely be changing diapers in baby’s nursery, in your bedroom and in the living room/playroom (not to mention on the go around town), so depending on your home’s layout, you might consider setting up baskets full of diaper goodies in each location. The Diaper Genie caddy makes it easy to organize, but any basket will do.

For a bathroom station, you’ll want:

We know it can feel overwhelming to find the right doctor for your baby, but it’s easier with advice from Dr. Tiffany Knipe, Motherly’s expert pediatrician and a mom of two little ones!

Here are Dr. Knipe’s 3 tips for finding the right pediatrician.

1. Start in your third trimester.

Start looking for a pediatrician in your last trimester. If you have local friends or family who have children, talk to them. Do they like their doctor? If yes, why? If they don’t, why not? What fits one family may not fit another. In fact, as you move forward as a parent this is a good message to keep in mind for all things.

2. Interview around.

If you live somewhere with a few local options, meet at least two or three doctors.

Get an idea of what features are found in all pediatric practices and which things are variable.

3. Ask the right questions.


Is this office convenient/accessible?

Remember, you are likely going to be traveling with a baby and baby paraphernalia, in cold or wet weather, and, at times, with a sick or fussy infant. You want a doctor’s office that is easy enough to get to.

Do they take their time?

If a pediatrician doesn’t have the time or patience for you before your baby is born, they are unlikely to have the time for you after.

Are there sick and well waiting rooms?

Ask your doctor or their office staff the policy for newborns and sick children. Newborns should not wait in a busy waiting room because of their susceptibility to infection.

Can you reach them after hours?

Is your doctor accessible? What are the office policies for after-hours? Babies rarely get sick Monday through Friday from 9 am to 5 pm. So, how will your doctor handle these situations?

What hospital is your doctor affiliated with?

If your child needs a specialist or an emergency room, does your pediatrician have a reliable network of physicians and affiliations to get your child the help he needs?

Do you have chemistry?

Much like choosing a partner or a friend, you should get a good vibe from your pediatrician. For overly anxious parents, your doctor should help to mitigate your anxieties (not exacerbate them). And for overly relaxed parents, your doctor should make it clear to you when to worry.

9. Take an infant CPR/ first aid course.

Learning how to help a choking baby or what to do if your little one ever stops breathing can put your mind at ease as you transition to life as a new mama.

The Red Cross offers classes around the country (find one near you here) but you can also ask you health care provider about where to locate one. You’ll feel good knowing that you know what to do in an emergency.

10. Plan your maternity leave.

Whether you’re going to be staying at home for good or will be heading back to work, you’ll want to prep your new working life after baby is born.

Make sure you’ve checked in with HR on your company’s procedures, and find out if there are any state-specific benefits you’re eligible for while on leave. If you’re staying at home, start doing some research on new-mom support groups or mommy-and-me programs to connect with other new moms.

Find out what you need to know for a successful leave with our maternity leave transition plan.

BONUS! 11. Sleep! ?

We know it’s so hard to catch those Z’s with leg cramps and a big belly in bed and constantly feeling like you have to pee. We get it. But if you’re wondering if you should clean the house or nap while the end of your pregnancy draws near, we promise: THE ANSWER IS NAP.

New mamas lose a lot of sleep in the first year of baby’s life, so on behalf of all those bleary-eyed new-mama warriors of the world: Sleep now, and forever remember this peace.

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We've all been there. You first hear those cries that don't sound like any other cries and immediately know what's happening. It's like our mama hearts know when our little ones need us the most. Having little ones feeling under the weather is hard. They can't tell you exactly how they feel. You can't explain to them that they'll feel better soon, and all there is for everyone to do is to take it easy and stay cuddled inside until you can get them to the doctor.

The issue, by this point, is that my son is old enough to know what's coming when we open the medicine cabinet, so giving him something for his throat ends up being like a wrestling match without the fun and giggles. My son especially likes spitting out anything as a way to protest how he's generally feeling, so we both end up covered in sticky syrup feeling defeated. Because, seriously, who thought that using a syringe or pipette to squirt out gooey liquid down an unwilling toddler's mouth was a good idea? (Probably not a parent.)

That's why when I found out there was an easier and more fun way to make these dreaded sick days better, I was all about it.

Enter: Lolleez.

Lolleez are organic throat soothing pops for kids—and adults!—that are made with organic ingredients that you can pronounce and understand like honey and natural fruit pectin. Plus, they're non-GMO as well as gluten, dairy and nut-free i.e. worry-free for all kinds of kiddos. The pops help soothe sore throats while acting like a treat for when kids are feeling under the weather. I also appreciate that the pops are actually flat and on a stick, as opposed to a lozenge or round ball lollipop. They were also created by a mom, which makes me feel a million times more confident about them since I know she knows exactly how hard sick days with a little one can be.

loleez

When I introduced my son to Lolleez pops, everything changed. Suddenly the battle to get him to take something to feel better wasn't... well, a battle. In the few times he's been sick since, he's been more than happy to pop a Lolleez, and I've been more than grateful that soothing him is now as easy as peeling open a wrapper. And, since they come in watermelon, strawberry and orange mango—strawberry is the favorite in this household—he never gets bored of getting a soothing lolly.

Also, they're easy to find—you can get them at stores like Target, CVS and online so I never worry that I'll be caught without in a pinch. After the sick days have run their course and my son starts feeling better, there's nothing like seeing that glow in his eyes come back and have him greet me with a big smile when I come into his room in the morning, ready for the day.

While our littles not feeling well is inevitable, as a mama, I'll do anything to make my child feel better, and I'm so thankful for products that make it just a little easier for the both of us. So here's to enjoying the snuggles that come with sick days, while also looking forward to the giggles that come after them.

This article was sponsored by Lolleez. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and Mamas.

Our Partners

It was never my goal to be a mama and a wife. As a teenager, I was completely fine with my decision not to have children. When someone would ask me how many children I wanted, my response would always be none. In my 20's, I traveled the world and focused on building my career. A family of my own was far from my mind. And I was okay with that. Then I hit 30 and something inside me changed.

I'm not sure what exactly changed. Or why it changed. But I started to long for a family of my own.

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Then as if my heart's desire had been answered I met him. We fell in love. And within a few years, I was married to this incredible man. Then we received the best news we could have hoped for. I was pregnant—with a baby boy. The family I had longed for was right here in front of me. I had become this child's mama.

Just like that my whole life's focus changed.

My mind wasn't on my career progression or where in the world I was going to explore next. It was focused on this little human. This little human, who was safely cradled in my arms. This little human who now relied on me to provide him with care, with comfort, with love.

I became defined by my motherhood. And that was okay.

Now I won't lie, as my son grew and we welcomed our second child to our family, there were moments of exhaustion. Moments of frustration. Moments of tears. Moments where I desperately needed some me time.

But here is the truth. Yes, right now I am defined by motherhood. And that's okay. I spent many years longing to be here at this moment. To have my family. To be my children's mama.

I know this is a finite period in my life. So I am choosing to embrace it. I am choosing to find joy in my motherhood journey.

I know my children need me now in a way they won't ever again. And I don't want to miss out on all the beautiful moments right here in front of me.

You see, one day they won't need me to rock them in my arms or lay with them every night till they fall asleep.

One day they won't need me to pick them up and carry them everywhere. In fact, one day they will be too big for me to do that even if I wanted to.

One day they won't need to help them get dressed and put on their shoes.

One day they won't ask me to sing them that song for the 10th time.

One day they won't need me to do all the things for them as they do now.

You see, right now my children are only little. Right now they need me. Right now they choose me.

I am their safe place. I am their comfort. I am honored to be the one that they turn to. I am honored to be the one they call home.

That is why, first and foremost, I am defined by my motherhood. And that is more than okay with me.

This article was previously published here.

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Life

Your to-do list is kind of under control. The kitchen is mostly clean. You just finished that big work project and to celebrate, you scheduled a lunch out with the girls tomorrow while your little one is at school. As you rest your head on the pillow you think to yourself, “Okay! I might actually sorta-kinda have this whole thing under control!"

And then you hear it from down the hallway: cough cough.

Your eyes shoot open. No. It's fine, just a little tickle in her throat. She's fine.

Cough cough cough.

Nope, it's fine. If I lay here and don't move nothing will be...

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“MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY I don't feeeeeeel goooooooood."

Sigh.

You break out the humidifier, the Tylenol and the snuggles. And then comes the inevitable question—can they go to school tomorrow? It's not an easy question to answer, for sure.

On the one hand, kids are basically walking booger factories at all times—if we kept them home for every sneeze and cough they'd never go to school. On the other hand, we don't want to put our kids in a situation where they could get sicker—or make other kids sick.

When in doubt, you should always give your pediatrician a call for guidance. Most schools have policies on it as well.

But as a general rule of thumb, here's what to know when your child isn't feeling well:

On fevers

The most clear cut of all symptoms are fevers—if they have a fever, they stay home. A fever is any temperature of 100.4 Fahrenheit or greater. A child needs to be fever-free for a full 24-hours before they can return to school.

Note: If your newborn has a fever she needs medical attention right away. It could be an emergency.

On stuffy noses and coughs

A mildly stuffy nose, or an occasional cough isn't enough to warrant a day off from school. But if the mucus is really thick and/or the cough is frequent, loud, or just sounds “gross," it's probably best to keep her home.

Coughs can linger for a long time in children, but if it persists for several days, or she has a fever with it, give your doctor a call. If the cough sounds like a seal barking, and certainly if she is having any trouble breathing, get medical attention right away.

On tummy troubles

Or as my daughter's preschool teacher called it, “intestinal mischief." If your child is vomiting or has diarrhea, they should stay home (and should stay home for 24 hours after the last incident). Make sure everyone at home washes their hands really well, as stomach bugs tend to be very contagious.

Remember to encourage your child to drink lots of fluids. If they aren't drinking, call your doctor right away.

On skin issues

This can be tricky—between marker explosions, dry skin and rashes, it seems like my kids' skin looks different every day. Rashes are almost impossible to diagnose over the phone, so if you are concerned, they'll need to be evaluated by their doctor to help determine the cause (and contagiousness) of the rash.

If you suspect your child has lice, they should stay home as well—and you'll probably have to give the school a call so they can ANONYMOUSLY alert the other parents.

Along the same lines is the dreaded conjunctivitis, or pink eye. Usually your child (or lucky you) will wake up with their eyelids crusted shut, or they'll have a very pink eye with lots of goop (sorry—but we're all moms here, we can handle the eye goop convo right?)

This is highly contagious, so they should for sure stay home from school. Depending on if it's viral or bacterial, you doctor may prescribe medicine that clears it up quickly.

On pain

This one is tough—kids often complain about various boo-boos, especially when it means that they get a Frozen Bandaid out of the deal. If they complain of pain persistently, if the pain prevents them from playing, and of course if you witness a bad injury, keep them home and get medical help right away.

Remember that you know your child best. Ultimately, you get to make the decision. Your pediatrician will be there to guide you, and one day, ONE DAY, you really will get that whole to-do list tackled... we think?

You've got this.

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Learn + Play

Hilaria Baldwin has worn her emotions on her sleeve in recent months sharing the heartbreaking news of her miscarriage and then the happy news of her current pregnancy—and she's all about being her authentic self.

The yoga guru thrives on having her hands full. In fact, on top of raising her four children with husband Alec Baldwin and her work, Hilaria recently decided to foster a new puppy, because what is life without a little chaos!

Motherly caught up with Hilaria this week and she didn't hesitate to dish on a variety of things relating to motherhood. From how she and her husband juggle parenting duties, to how she handled introducing her children to their younger siblings when they were born, and, of course, how she deals with online criticism.

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Motherly: Congrats on the baby news! We loved that you got your four little ones involved with the reveal. Are they excited to have another sibling?

Hilaria Baldwin: They're really, really excited. Carmen is super excited not only because she not only has very much wanted a sister—she has Ireland [Alec's daughter from his marriage to Kim Basinger] but she lives far—so she wants someone who comes and lives in our house.

I've made a lot of people and finally, another one came out a girl. We never [intended] to have a big family… you know, I had Carmen and then I had Rafa and then I got pregnant pretty soon after I had Rafa and it was another boy, and then we said, 'Let's try!' and we had another boy. The three boys are within three years, so they're such a joy to watch [together]. As much as Carmen is a part of their little group, she's always sort of said, 'Hey, I would love to have a little sister.' So, it's been really exciting to see her get excited.

Motherly: So many parents struggle with introducing their kids to their new sibling and deal with the fear of the older child feeling jealous or left out. How did you handle that? Do you have any advice for parents going through these emotions?

HB: I think at this point we have such a crew that like, my kids are just used to a crowd all the time and it's like our house is super fun and there's always something going on. And so, you know, one to two [kids] was kind of difficult. And then for me, three we were a group and then four it was like nothing happened. You know, the kids, they love babies because they've been around so many babies. They love being together as they're always playing together and fight as well.

In terms of like introducing, one of the things that is like a ground rule for me is that— Alec and I have this on our wedding rings so it's long before we got pregnant— [it is the Spanish phrase] for 'We are a good team.' And that's our motto. It's like everything is a team in the house. There's no excluding, there is no toy that particularly belongs to somebody...They will have a blanket maybe that they sleep with or something like that, but it's not off limits to everybody else.

Of course, they break these rules at grab toys and don't want to share to do all the things that normal kids do, but the rule we keep coming to is that we want to keep everyone happy and accepted, so I think that helps. They all call the babies their babies, and I think that that helps, because it's not like mommy comes home and had this new baby and they're excluded.

Like everything else it's just embracing the fact that we're all scared. And kids really follow the guidance of the parents. If you make it fun and special, that we have the baby and it's about them, then they're gonna follow that lead. If you make it like, 'Oh, don't do that [to] baby, don't touch, be careful' and that kind of thing, it's not going to be as much of a group enjoyment thing.

Motherly: Busy Philipps recently opened up about how she almost divorced her husband over uneven parenting responsibilities. How do you and Alec divide the duties?

HB: I didn't hear about that, but I feel like that's very common…I am somebody who takes pride and am very specific about how I want things to be done. Like, I cook for my kids every night. I bathe them morning and night. When somebody gets into a fight, I want to be there to be able to deal with the dynamic. You know, with Alec, he'll sort of roll his eyes because I'm like, 'You're not doing it the way that I want it to be!'

I almost prefer to do it. I'll wake up with the kids at night. It's kind of my personality and I really enjoy it. You know, some people want support by saying, 'Hey, it's your turn to change the diaper.' But what [Alec] does for me that really, really means something is he'll look at me and he'll say, 'You're such a good mommy' and my kids will say that to me, and that's all I want in return. I'm somebody that I don't require a lot of sleep. I'm a busy body. I'm happy to check things off the list. I'm very type A, but I want to be the one who does this because I know how I want it to get done.

Motherly: You're so open about everything on social media. Do you ever feel like you want to hide more or is it therapeutic for you?

HB: I think it's a combination. I think that it's mostly therapeutic. I was always a very open person, and then all of a sudden I joined this really weird public life world and it was a very traumatic experience of everyday people are looking at you trying to find out your business. Alex was like a very old school celebrity in terms of 'this is my private life, close the doors'. We don't [have to] say anything. I mean he has been a little more outspoken than like the average sort of old school celebrities. And I tried to do that for awhile and it made me not like who I was.

And I really just started realizing, I was changing because this is how they're telling me to behave. And so I said, 'You know what, I'm not doing this anymore.' I said, 'I'm going to be open. And people are going to see that.' Once you marry somebody who is famous and your economics change...It doesn't mean that you have to be different.

And, yes, do I have my days where I really kind of want to close down and be more quiet? Sure. But in the end I realized that everybody has those days. And that's one of those the things that makes us common and connected. And that's what I've really enjoyed with this journey that we're on.

Motherly: Do you have ways that you personally deal with online criticism, or do you just kind of turn a blind eye and try to not focus on the negativity?

HB: I think I go through phases and I think a lot of it has to do with your philosophy, your emotions, where you are not just in that phase in your life. I've done things from literally copying the comment and posting it on my story. And I think that using that as a place of saying, 'Hey, this is bullying. This happened to me too and this isn't okay.' And if this person is bullying me, I guarantee you that they're bullying other people. So I'll do that. Sometimes I'll block, sometimes I'll respond.

This lady wrote me last night and [told me] I should be careful because with [yoga] twisting you can cause a miscarriage. And I had just suffered a miscarriage, so I basically should know better, and that that happened to her, that she twisted and then she had a miscarriage … Now, yes, in yoga you should not do the lower belly twists when you're pregnant, but that being said, if you twist, it's not going to cause a miscarriage...And that's one thing that, I mean I responded to her and I just responded to her saying, 'I lost my baby because my baby's heart wasn't good, not because I did something wrong.'

Too often women look at ourselves and point blame, we think, 'Well, we must have done something.' Let me tell you something from having a miscarriage: The first thing that all doctors tell you is, 'I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong.'

Motherly: Can you tell us a little about how you're dealing with picky eating in your household?

HB: I was dealing with the pickiness of my kids and particularly Rafael, who's like my super, super picky eater. We had to sort of get very creative because he literally would prefer to not need, then to eat something he doesn't want to eat. And he is that typical picky eater where he wants he'll eat like four or five things and you know, they're good things, we're lucky with him, he likes tofu and lentils.

But at the same time, we're constantly trying to think of other things. So, I found Health Warrior bars when he was going through some really picky times and they were great because you can put them in your bag for on-the-go, and he would eat them and it wouldn't be a fight, and I know that they have really good ingredients.

The other thing we discovered from them—because getting kids to eat vegetables is really, really difficult as well —is a protein powder that it's like all plant based. So what I do is I'll make a shake for them every single day that has tons of kale and broccoli and all this kind of stuff in it. I'll put this chocolate protein powder in it and they call it a chocolate shake… So those have been like two life savers and so when they came to me and they said that they wanted to do something together, it just felt very natural and I wanted to spread the word because they've helped our family so much.

For more from Hilaria check out Season 2 of the Mom Brain podcast, co-hosted by Hilaria and Daphne Oz.

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After my son was born I found myself thrown into the darkest period of my life, overtaken by postpartum depression and anxiety. My days were awash in panic attacks from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed, with crying spells that hit without warning in between.

Most of my visitors didn't know any of this.

When they stopped by to deliver a meal or meet the baby, most people asked the question we all ask of new mothers: "How are you doing?" I answered with the automatic response we all give when asked this question: "I'm doing okay," adding with a sideways glance and shrug, "Tired, but that's just how it is."

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"How are you doing?" It's a great question to ask when we see a friend on the street or sit down for coffee to catch up on life. But when we ask it of a new mother, we subconsciously ask her to take the complex period after birth, with its hormonal shifts and emotional ups and downs, and boil it down to one sentiment.

The postpartum period deserves a better question.

The reality for each mother is different, and the answer to such a simple question may be kept private for fear of making her visitors uncomfortable if she senses they expect a glowing new mother, drunk on oxytocin.

A better question for any visitor, or even if you see a woman with a new baby on the street, is: "How are you feeling, emotionally?"

This question doesn't just invite a response, it shows a new mother that you are ready and unafraid to hear about her feelings, whatever they may be.

It shows her you understand that she may be delighted in her new baby, but are open to the possibility that she is also feeling grief for her past life, sadness at the lack of support, disappointment in the grueling and unforgiving schedule a newborn demands.

This question is even more important today, where most women are not surrounded by a village following the birth of a baby. They may be alone, doing the hard work with just the help of their partner, or if they're lucky, close friends and family. They may have no space to process what's happened to them and so they begin the habitual process of setting themselves aside for the sake of others.

A few weeks ago I was at a friend's cookout. A woman entered the backyard with a newborn. She sat down and I watched her carefully, as I do all new moms since recovering from my PPD. Scanning for signs that she might be in trouble, or struggling to maintain a facade of togetherness. I didn't see anything, but that didn't matter.

"Hey," I said. "How old is he?"

"Two weeks," she replied, shifting the peacefully sleeping baby from one arm to the other.

"That is such a crazy time," I said, painfully recalling the chaos of my own experience at two weeks postpartum. "And how are you feeling," I ventured. "Emotionally?"

I didn't even know her name. But it didn't matter. I saw a flash of surprise on her face, followed by a faint smile radiating from inside her. And with the door swung wide open, we talked for a long time about what it really feels like to be a new mother.

So how are you feeling today mama, emotionally?


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