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How to make your child feel powerful and heard

Our kids don't really need just one more of this or that. What they do need is their sense of power and attention.

How to make your child feel powerful and heard

As parents, we often find ourselves on a merry-go-round ride with our kids. We jump from one thing to the next hoping we can solve at least one problem before the next one presents itself.

As we circle on this merry-go-round, getting dizzier and dizzier, trying to win these battles ourselves, more often than not we hear these three words… "just one more!." Just one more minute to play at the park. Just one more drink of water. Just one more kiss and hug before bed. Just one more cookie. The just one more never seems to end. The trouble is there are so many of them it's impossible to keep up.

In actuality, our kids don't really need all of these just one more's. What they do need is their sense of power and attention.

Kids often feel a lack of power and attention due to certain parenting styles. Think of your kids' power and attention as two large cups of water. If these cups start to lose water and empty, your kids' attention and power will feel empty. When this happens the negative behaviors, tantrums, back talking and more will come at you full throttle. When parents fill up their kid's attention and power cups, their kids will feel at ease.

So, how do I fill up my kid's cups and keep them full? Here are simple, easy to implement solutions so that you can start today.

Keep in mind that simple and easy doesn't mean a quick fix. Once you consistently begin implementing these new steps into your daily routine, within one week, you will begin to see positive changes appear right before your eyes.

How to make your child feel powerful

1. Try not to do anything for them they can almost do themselves.

When we do things for our kids that they are capable of doing on their own, we are telling them that we don't feel they are capable just yet. In turn, this decreases their self-worth and confidence and leads them to lash out and search for more power. Our actions speak louder than words.

2. Establish daily routines and charts that your kids can follow and complete independently.

Work together with your kids to create morning and bedtime charts that they can follow on their own. When you do this, the chart becomes the boss and leaves you free of reminding. They'll feel powerful knowing that they completed tasks on the chart on their own.

3. Give them room and space to succeed and fail.

If you are constantly reminding your kids to complete their charts, pack their homework and brush their teeth, how will they ever learn to remember on their own? Kids who forget often have parents who always remind. Try encouraging them to learn on their own. For example, if they forget their lunch or homework one day, don't drive it to school if they could get by without it. If you do step in often, it can show them that you will always be there as back up—and that's okay! But, letting them forget and learn from natural consequences will help them to be more apt to remember the next time. This is where the true learning and responsibility begins to grow. These are life lessons we need our kids to learn.

4. Offer opportunities to do more chores and help out around the house.

Working together to complete household duties gives our kids a sense of power, as it makes them feel needed. Kids as young as 2 years old can have age-appropriate tasks. Start small.

Have your kids put all their clothes in the hamper and participate in rounding up toys. As they grow, so will the list of duties. Soon you will have kids as young as 4 or 5-years-old vacuuming, folding laundry and taking out the garbage. The best part is they will be happy helping out. It won't be a battle and you will have all hands on deck! Chores make you kids feel needed and a part of the family, which directly gives them power.

5. Create golden time.

This is the secret sauce to parenting. It is the simplest way to keep your kid's attention cups full and will result in happy kids and happy parents. Follow the specific formula below and within one week you will see results.

Golden Time Formula:

  1. Two times per day for 10 minutes (morning and evening)
  2. One–on–one
  3. Uninterrupted (no cell phones)
  4. Doing something your child wants to do
  5. Label it (let them know you are wanting Golden Time with them)

I dare you to commit one week to consistent Golden Time and your life as a parent will change, I have no doubt!

You now have the inside scoop to put a stop to all the battles and the "just one mores." It's time to hop off that crazy merry-go-round and start enjoying parenting while helping your kiddos feel like they're heard and seen.

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Including a battle plan for clogged ducts!

When expecting a baby, there is a lot you can test-run in advance: Take that stroller around the block. Go for a spin with the car seat secured in place. Learn how to use the baby carrier with help from a doll. But breastfeeding? It's not exactly possible to practice before baby's arrival.

The absence of a trial makes it all the more important to prepare in other ways for breastfeeding success—and it can be as simple as adding a few of our lactation aiding favorites to your registry.

MilkBliss chocolate chip soft baked lactation cookies

MilkBliss lactation cookies

Studies have shown the top reason women stop breastfeeding within the first year is because they are concerned about their milk supply being enough to nourish baby. Consider MilkBliss Lactation Cookies to be your secret weapon. Not only are they wholesome and delicious, but they were formulated specifically for breastfeeding moms based on the science of galactagogues—also known as milk boosters. They also come in peanut butter and wild blueberry flavors.

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Evereden multi-purpose healing balm

Evereden multipurpose healing balm

Also up there on the list of reasons women stop breastfeeding: the toll the early days can take on nipples. Made from just five ingredients, this all natural healing balm is ideal for soothing chafed nipples, making for a much more comfortable experience for mama as her body adjusts to the needs of a breastfeeding baby.

$20

Lansinoh milk storage bags

Lansinoh milk storage bags

For a breastfeeding mama, there are few things more precious and valuable than the milk she worked so hard to pump—and it's the stuff of nightmares to imagine it spilling out in the fridge. With these double-sealed milk storage bags, you can be assured your breastmilk is safe and sound until baby needs it.

$12.50

Belly Bandit bandita nursing bra

Belly Bandit bandita nursing bra

Nursing a baby is a 24/7 job, which calls for some wardrobe modifications. Because Belly Bandit specializes in making things more comfortable for the postpartum mama, they've truly thought of every detail—from the breathable fabric to the clips that can be easily opened with one hand.

$47

boob-ease soothing therapy pillows

Boob Ease soothing therapy pillows

For nursing moms, duct can quickly become a four-letter word when you suspect it's getting clogged. By keeping these soothing breast pillows in your breastfeeding arsenal, you can immediately go on the defense against plugged milk ducts by heating the pads in the microwave or cooling them in the freezer.

$25

Belly Bandit perfect nursing tee

Belly Bandit perfect nursing tee

A unfortunate reality of nursing is that it can really seem to limit the wardrobe options when you have to think about providing easy, discrete access. But by adding functional basics to your closet, you can feel confident and prepared for breastfeeding on the go.

$59

Bebe au Lait premium cotton nursing cover

Bebe au Lait cotton nursing cover

Nursing in public isn't every mama's cup of tea. But babies can't always wait until you've found a private place to get down to business if that's your preference. That's where a nursing cover comes in handy. This one is made from premium cotton and features a patented neckline that allows for airflow and eye contact even while you're covered.

$36

Lactation Lab basic breastmilk testing kit

Lactation Lab breastmilk testing kit

Curious to learn more about the liquid gold you're making, mama? The testing kit from Lactation Labs analyzes your breast milk for basic nutritional content like calories and protein, as well as vitamins, fatty acids and environmental toxins to help boost your breastfeeding confidence.

$99

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