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11 simple ways to raise grateful kids

4. Let them earn something.

11 simple ways to raise grateful kids

With Thanksgiving approaching, gratitude is on all of our minds. You may feel grateful for visiting family, for a cozy fire to sit by, or for your mom's famous stuffing hot out of the oven. And, of course, we all feel extra thankful for our little ones this time of year.

While all it takes is a cheesy commercial to make me tear up with gratitude for my family this time of year, it can be harder to teach gratitude to children.

Try these 11 tips to help your child feel more thankful during the holidays, and all year long:

1. Share your appreciation

One of the best ways we can encourage gratitude in our children is to model a grateful disposition ourselves. Try to talk regularly about what you're grateful for and why.

It can help to use certain aspects of daily life as a prompt. Try asking everyone to share something they're grateful for while driving to school in the morning or while eating dinner as a family. Linking a gratitude practice to a daily activity will help ensure the habit doesn't slip away after Thanksgiving.

2. Volunteer

Even very young children can help the community in one way or another. Helping others takes away the emphasis on material things and reminds us to be grateful for all that we have.

Little ones can make paintings for children's hospitals, choose holiday gifts for children in need, volunteer in nursing homes, or help bake muffins to bring to a neighbor. Try to make volunteering, even in a very small way, a regular tradition to foster gratitude all year long.

3. Involve them in household work

Part of feeling gratitude is being aware of the effort someone else went through to give us something. Involve your child in family tasks so that they can see this effort.

For example, if you feel like your child is ungrateful for the meals you cook them, involve them in the process. Let them see the time it takes to cook for the family so they understand that the food doesn't just magically appear on their plate. They still may not like everything they're served, but they will begin to appreciate the effort.

4. Let them earn something

It can be hard for children to understand why they can't have everything they want in the toy store. Money is a relatively abstract concept and if they've never paid for something, they may not understand why you're saying "no."

Next time your child really wants a new toy, help them brainstorm a way to earn the money and buy it themself. This could be through saving up their allowance, doing extra chores at home or for Grandma, or having a lemonade stand or a garage sale to sell their old toys. They will see the time and effort it takes to get that new toy, and they will appreciate it more than if you'd simply bought it for them.

5. Set expectations

If a child frequently gets a treat or a new toy when you're running errands, they will come to expect it. Once they expect it, they will no longer feel grateful for it, they will only feel resentful when you do say no.

Before you go into a store, tell your child the plan. You might say, "We're not buying any new toys today, we're just looking. If you see something you really like, I'll write it down so I remember it next time you have a birthday." Stick to the plan you set and, with time, the expectation for constant new toys will diminish.

6. Play 'Pollyanna'

It's easy to be grateful when everything is going well, but having gratitude during tough times can be, well, tough. Help children practice gratitude even when things are not going their way—help them find the silver lining.

This doesn't mean they should mask their feelings—it's okay to feel hurt and upset and disappointed. But it's not useful to wallow in these feelings for too long.

For example, if your daughter comes home from school upset that her best friend wouldn't play with her, acknowledge that something hurtful happened, and then help her find something to be grateful about. You might say, "That must have hurt your feelings. I'm so grateful you have other friends like Billy and Sally that you love to play with too."

7. Give experiences

Having too much stuff can hinder children's development of gratitude. If they have hundreds of toys, they may barely notice receiving 15 new ones over the holidays.

Try replacing some material gifts with experiences like a zoo membership or a special one on one date with mom to the park. Experiences help build connection and take the emphasis off of wanting things.

8. Make a gratitude list

Along with their list for Santa, ask your child to make a list of all of the things from the last year that they're grateful for. You can help them get started, and help write down their answers if they're too young to write.

9. Be aware of ads

Being exposed to constant advertisements breeds feelings of desire for new things, rather than gratitude for what we already have. Be conscious of the marketing campaigns your child may be exposed to through screen time or catalogs laying around the house.

10. Create a gratitude jar

Start a gratitude jar, where everyone in the family writes down things they're grateful for and puts them in the jar.

Periodically announce to your child that you're going to add something to the jar. You could say something like, "I'm so grateful that Grandma brought us flowers from her garden. I feel happy every time I see them. I'm going to add that to the jar." Your child will start to look for things to add too.

You can make reading the slips of paper together a weekly ritual, perhaps after dinner on Sunday.

11. Say “thank you" like you mean it

Teaching children to say "thank you" is often unrelated to gratitude. It is more of a social custom we are trying to instill. Saying thanks can be heartfelt and meaningful though.

Try adding to your "thank you" to show your sincerity and help a child see what it means to really be thankful. You might say to your spouse, "Thank you for cooking dinner tonight. I was so tired and it made me feel so good when you took care of us like that." Or, say to your child, "Thank you for helping your little sister button her coat. My hands were full with the groceries and I appreciate you being a helper."

The more gratitude you show, the more your child will adopt the attitude themself. Try to be patient though. Young children are so focused on themselves that it can take time for them learn gratitude.

Just know that you're giving them a gift when you make it part of your family life, during the holiday season and throughout the whole year.

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A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs.

Who says you have to wait for birthdays or holidays to give your bestie a great gift? A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs in these more-than-trying times. We've rounded up some of our favorite go-to gifts that are certain to be a bright spot in her week. But be warned, you may want to snag a few for yourself. (You deserve it, mama.)

Here are some our favorite "just because" gifts to give our hardworking mama friends.

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This jade roller goes beyond your typical face roller and can be used anywhere on the body. It works to increase stimulation and reduce puffiness and is perfect for applying any oils to the face or body. Plus, it feels like a mini spa treatment.

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Kombucha making kit

farmsteady kombucha making kit

What could be a more perfect gift for the health-obsessed friend? This kombucha making kit comes with everything you need to brew your own homemade green tea kombucha. They'll think this is the tastiest gift ever.

$45

Laetitia lipstick

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This red lipstick is perfect for your makeup enthusiast bestie who is looking to spruce up her life in quarantine. Crafted in the United States, these bee and vegan-friendly and cruelty-free lipsticks are created to flatter all complexions. Cupid and Psyche Beauty makes finding the perfect red lip way too easy!

$23

Jigsaw puzzle

inner piecec jigsaw puzzle

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$30

Matilda's Bloombox

matilda's bloombox

If we have to be stuck inside, we might as well have some gorgeous florals to brighten up the space. Matilda's Bloombox locally sources blooms, delivers them to her door and provides simple tips on how to arrange it into a beautiful bouquet.

$39

'I Am Enough' bracelet

I Am Enough bracelet

Let this dainty bracelet serve as a constant reminder to your bestie that she is enough. She'll wear this on her wrist and read this daily oath to herself, "I Am Enough."

$35

Glow assorted teas

vahdam low assorted teas

This tea gift box set covers the entire spectrum of flavors from sweet to spicy. Individually packaged in beautiful tins, your gal pal will feel like a queen sipping her morning tea. Originally $40, this set is currently on sale for just $24. We'll take two, please.

$24

Find your voice journal

find your voice journal

Journaling is a great way to ease anxiety and will slow your bestie's racing mind before bed. This gift is perfect for first time journalists and includes prompts, daily quotes and coloring pages to help her unlock her potential and find her voice.

$22

Premium frother

shore magic premium frother

This gift is fitting for your latte-sipping bestie who can't go a day without her coffee. All she has to do is add two scoops of collagen to her favorite drink, and she'll have a perfectly foamy drink ready in seconds. Skipping the drive-thru line has never been so easy!

$25

Bath soak infusion kit

maude bath soak infusion kit

Say hello to hydration! She'll be feeling smooth and relaxed as ever after a long bath soaking in these salts. This vegan + cruelty-free set incorporates dead sea salt and dehydrated coconut milk powder for an ultra hydrating experience.

$32

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

It's a hard-earned title she answers to a hundred times per day. Whether she's new to the club or a seasoned professional, this delicate script 'mama' necklace is guaranteed to be a perfect fit.

$105

Superfood honey

Beekeeper's Naturals B.Powered honey

With a lack of sleep and jam-packed days, getting through the afternoon can be a real challenge. Send her a powerful pick-me-up in the form of a therapeutic blend of royal jelly, bee pollen, propolis and raw honey. It makes the ideal companion for tea, smoothies, yogurt or even on its on.

$17

Calming midnight mask with melatonin

Who doesn't deserve a reminder to pamper themself every once in awhile? Even better, this mask does all its work at night while you're sleeping with no extra effort needed. It's an amazing plant-powered antioxidant-packed mask that has melatonin, wild dandelion leaf and hyaluronic acid to rehydrate, repair and reset facial skin. It's so good, you might want to gift it to yourself. We won't tell, mama.

$68

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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