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Love It—Lesson 8—What not to do ?

Today’s Video Lesson—

In addition to determining what creates a great couple, John Gottman’s research identifies the “Four Horsemen,” the core characteristics of unhealthy couples.

Don’t fret if you find yourself or your partner in one of these characteristics—we all have things we need to work on!—but instead focus on where you can make a improvement. Those “Four Horsemen” are—

Criticism

Contempt

Defensiveness

Stonewalling

And you can read more about them here at Gottman’s website, or watch an example below from his institute.

Your task— In Gottman’s 4 characteristics, can you identify one that resonates with how you have behaved? Go to your partner and acknowledge it, talk about it, and discuss steps forward to remedy it. This isn’t a simple fix, but a first step at identifying a behavior you’d explore further.


Class comments—Let us know how your conversation went.


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