Today's Video Lesson—

Takeaways from today's lesson—

1. The “I position."

Instead of accusing your partner of something using language like, “you always," or “you never," bring your needs to your partner from the “I position." That sounds like like: “I really appreciate it when you remember to take out the garbage" or “I feel unimportant when you don't let me know that you'll be home late."

2. Slow startup

The way that a conversation starts generally is the way that it ends.

If you start a conversation by screaming at your partner, it's likely to end that way. If you start a conversation, even about a topic of conflict, with a spirit of understanding and love, it's more likely to end by bringing you together as a couple.

Your task—Can you begin to think about how you can use the “I position"? Hold that thought, this weekend's couple activity will have you digging into it.

Class comments—Do you find it easy or hard to use the “I position" and talk about your needs, rather than speak in an accusatory manner?

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