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Am I ready for my little boy to grow up? Not yet—but we will figure it out together

I will continue to cheer at each milestone we hit—when he learns to tie his shoes, when he masters how to make breakfast, when he starts to sleep in instead of waking up, begging us to play.

Am I ready for my little boy to grow up? Not yet—but we will figure it out together

Will every birthday always be so bittersweet? My son turns three today and I found myself going to bed last night, pleading with the universe, not yet.

I'm not ready to move further into toddlerhood. I want one more day of being with my 2-year-old who I can convince myself sometimes is still more of a baby than a big kid.

Not yet.

Can I hold onto him a little longer as he currently is? Small hands that still look similar to his pudgy baby hands, before they grow into the long, thin fingers of a big kid who will dig for worms and take apart clocks to figure out how they work?

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Not yet.

Can I bottle the sweet innocence of his mannerisms, how he can still react with wonder at my silly faces and goofy dances, and how we make up songs with nonsense words that don't mean anything just because?

Not yet.

Can we continue to keep his entire world right in our household? Where everything he needs and everyone he wants can be found in one place, all under one roof?

Not yet.

Can we freeze time for just one more day? Keep the dump trucks and trains exactly where they are on the floor. Can I pause the clock when he's in the bath, giggling at how I make the tugboat dunk in the water and pop right back up?

And yet.

I know it's impossible to keep things as they are, and I don't really want to. Because with each milestone we hit together, I grow, too. I transform and become right alongside my son, who gives me fresh eyes and reminds me what this life is for. To grow. And learn. And change. And experience.

And I don't want to shortchange any of that. I don't want any of the love and joy to stall or wait in a vain attempt to keep things as they are. Because as they are changes every day and as they are will become new things that will bring us joy and awe and wonder.

Each morning he wakes up—that I wake up—is something I never want to take for granted. The ability to keep growing and loving every day is never a given, so I don't want to forget how precious tomorrow really is.

So I will continue to cheer at each milestone we hit—when he learns to tie his shoes, when he masters how to make breakfast, when he starts to sleep in instead of waking up, begging us to play.

I will celebrate the steps he takes away from us. The friends he will make. The activities and the people who will join his world.

I will swell with pride at the human that he will be, making his place in the world.

Are we ready to face three, and all that it means?

Not yet.

But we will, together.

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I felt lost as a new mother, but babywearing helped me find myself again

I wish someone had told me before how special wearing your baby can be, even when you have no idea how to do it.

My first baby and I were alone in our Brooklyn apartment during a particularly cold spring with yet another day of no plans. My husband was back at work after a mere three weeks of parental leave (what a joke!) and all my friends were busy with their childless lives—which kept them too busy to stop by or check in (making me, at times, feel jealous).

It was another day in which I would wait for baby to fall asleep for nap number one so I could shower and get ready to attempt to get out of the house together to do something, anything really, so I wouldn't feel the walls of the apartment close in on me by the time the second nap rolled around. I would pack all the diapers and toys and pacifiers and pump and bottles into a ginormous stroller that was already too heavy to push without a baby in it .

Then I would spend so much time figuring out where we could go with said stroller, because I wanted to avoid places with steps or narrow doors (I couldn't lift the stroller by myself and I was too embarrassed to ask strangers for help—also hi, New Yorkers, please help new moms when you see them huffing and puffing up the subway stairs, okay?). Then I would obsess about the weather, was it too cold to bring the baby out? And by the time I thought I had our adventure planned, the baby would wake up, I would still be in my PJs and it was time to pump yet again.

Slowly, but surely, and mostly thanks to sleep deprivation and isolation, I began to detest this whole new mom life. I've always been a social butterfly. I moved to New York because I craved that non-stop energy the city has and in the years before having my baby I amassed new friends I made through my daily adventures. I would never stop. I would walk everywhere just to take in the scenery and was always on the move.

Now I had this ball and chain attached to me, I thought, that didn't even allow me to make it out of the door to walk the dog. This sucks, I would think regularly, followed by maybe I'm not meant to be a mom after all.


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Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Meri Meri: Decor and gifts that bring the wonder of childhood to life

We could not be more excited to bring the magic of Meri Meri to the Motherly Shop. For over 30 years, their playful line of party products, decorations, children's toys and stationery have brought magic to celebrations and spaces all over the world. Staring as a kitchen table endeavor with some scissors, pens and glitter in Los Angeles in 1985, Meri Meri (founder Meredithe Stuart-Smith's childhood nickname) has evolved from a little network of mamas working from home to a team of 200 dreaming up beautiful, well-crafted products that make any day feel special.

We've stocked The Motherly Shop with everything from Halloween must-haves to instant-heirloom gifts kiddos will adore. Whether you're throwing a party or just trying to make the everyday feel a little more special, we've got you covered.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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It's science: Why your baby stops crying when you stand up

A fascinating study explains why.

When your baby is crying, it feels nearly instinctual to stand up to rock, sway and soothe them. That's because standing up to calm babies is instinctual—driven by centuries of positive feedback from calmed babies, researchers have found.

"Infants under 6 months of age carried by a walking mother immediately stopped voluntary movement and crying and exhibited a rapid heart rate decrease, compared with holding by a sitting mother," say authors of a 2013 study published in Current Biology.

Even more striking: This coordinated set of actions—the mother standing and the baby calming—is observed in other mammal species, too. Using pharmacologic and genetic interventions with mice, the authors say, "We identified strikingly similar responses in mouse pups as defined by immobility and diminished ultrasonic vocalizations and heart rate."

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