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No, I won't apologize for letting my kids be kids

I've taught them to be respectful and kind, but they also need to be allowed to be kids.

No, I won't apologize for letting my kids be kids

We just moved into a new neighborhood and I met an elderly woman a couple blocks down the street. She looked at me in shock (almost horror) when I told her that we have four kids and she kept saying, “Four? four??" Then she looked at me square in the eyes.

“I guess that will be okay," she said, “as long as they are quiet." She was dead serious.

I laughed like it was a joke (because that's what I do when I feel awkward).

I took the kids and we continued down the street feeling kid-shamed.

I think I understand her perspective. This is her street and she's probably lived on it upwards of 50 years. It would be hard to deal with change and disruption of her normal. It probably feels like the invasion of the Brady Bunch.

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However, I often feel like we bother people by just being us. Not necessarily by anything we do, but just the idea of what we “might do." When we'd wait our turn for our passports and tickets to be checked at the airport, we'd hear heavy sighs behind us like are you kidding me. I felt like turning around and saying, “FYI sir, we paid for six tickets, you paid for one, so we have every right to be here."


Kids are a normal part of society; it's always been that way. You are not actually entitled to a child-free life. Sorry, not sorry.

You don't have to have them yourself, and you can go to as many adult-only things as possible, but you don't get to expect that we are going to keep kids out of your way in the world we all share: parks, sidewalks, grocery stores, restaurants (yes, I take my kids to restaurants and I won't apologize), the beach, airplanes.

We teach our kids to respect people and to not act like wild animals (except the 4-year-old, she's kind of a loose cannon).

We teach them to give up their seats on a train for an elderly person and to look someone in the eyes when they shake their hand.

We teach them not to wrestle or yell in inappropriate places and to say please and thank you.

They aren't perfect at it by any means, but they're pretty good. Outside of that, I will not apologize for having kids, and I won't apologize for my kids being, well, kids.

I won't apologize for them laughing loudly while they ride bikes in the cul-de-sac. I tell them not to yell, but I don't feel bad when an occasional “whoop" slips their lips. They are kids. Kids are a normal part of life.

When we asked for a rental application for a certain house, the property manager replied with a simple one-line e-mail, “Sorry this house is too small for your family." It was a three bedroom, which is the size of home we've always lived in.

No questions, no asking if we were sure it would work for us. It was a clear “blow off" from someone who didn't want to be inconvenienced by children. (If you're ever in that situation, know your rights).

These “annoying kids" are the future.

A baby in an airplane who is screaming is not “annoying you" and making your flight terrible, they are likely in a lot of pain. You can put on your headphones and crank the music. I guarantee this scenario is a lot worse for the baby and for the parents than it is for you.

I'm not trying to start an argument here (although I might anyway), and I'm not even trying to villainize anyone for being annoyed at my kids—I get annoyed at them, too, we should have a glass of wine and commiserate together. But actually, buck up buttercup.

Kids are a part of life…period.

In my opinion, they bring a lot of sunshine and joy to the world. I know I like mine.

We visited a church recently where all the generations were represented. We were welcomed like family, the kids even received several handshakes and someone went to find them crayons.

I loved it.

We need each other.

We need the grandmas and the grandpas and we need the babies and the obnoxious 4-year-olds and everyone in between...like it or not.

By its very nature, motherhood requires some lifestyle adjustments: Instead of staying up late with friends, you get up early for snuggles with your baby. Instead of spontaneous date nights with your honey, you take afternoon family strolls with your little love. Instead of running out of the house with just your keys and phone, you only leave with a fully loaded diaper bag.

For breastfeeding or pumping mamas, there is an additional layer of consideration around when, how and how much your baby will eat. Thankfully, when it comes to effective solutions for nursing or bottle-feeding your baby, Dr. Brown's puts the considerations of mamas and their babies first with products that help with every step of the process—from comfortably adjusting to nursing your newborn to introducing a bottle to efficiently pumping.

With countless hours spent breastfeeding, pumping and bottle-feeding, the editors at Motherly know the secret to success is having dependable supplies that can help you feed your baby in a way that matches lifestyle.

Here are 9 breastfeeding and pumping products to help you no matter what the day holds.

Customflow™ Double Electric Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's electric pump

For efficient, productive pumping sessions, a double electric breast pump will help you get the job done as quickly as possible. Quiet for nighttime pumping sessions and compact for bringing along to work, this double pump puts you in control with fully adjustable settings.

$159.99

Hands-Free Pumping Bra

Dr. Brown''s hands free pumping bra

Especially in the early days, feeding your baby can feel like a pretty consuming task. A hands-free pumping bra will help you reclaim some of your precious time while pumping—and all mamas will know just how valuable more time can be!

$29.99

Manual Breast Pump with SoftShape™ Silicone Shield

Dr. Brown's manual breast pump

If you live a life that sometimes takes you away from electrical outlets (that's most of us!), then you'll absolutely want a manual breast pump in your arsenal. With two pumping modes to promote efficient milk expression and a comfort-fitted shield, a manual pump is simply the most convenient pump to take along and use. Although it may not get as much glory as an electric pump, we really appreciate how quick and easy this manual pump is to use—and how liberating it is not to stress about finding a power supply.

$29.99

Nipple Shields and Sterilization Case

Dr. Brown's nipple shields

There is a bit of a learning curve to breastfeeding—for both mamas and babies. Thankfully, even if there are some physical challenges (like inverted nipples or a baby's tongue tie) or nursing doesn't click right away, silicone nipple shields can be a huge help. With a convenient carry case that can be sterilized in the microwave, you don't have to worry about germs or bacteria either. 🙌

$9.99

Silicone One-Piece Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's silicone pump

When you are feeding your baby on one breast, the other can still experience milk letdown—which means it's a golden opportunity to save some additional milk. With a silent, hands-free silicone pump, you can easily collect milk while nursing.

$14.99

Breast to Bottle Pump & Store Feeding Set

After a lifetime of nursing from the breast, introducing a bottle can be a bit of a strange experience for babies. Dr. Brown's Options+™ and slow flow bottle nipples were designed with this in mind to make the introduction to bottles smooth and pleasant for parents and babies. As a set that seamlessly works together from pumping to storing milk to bottle feeding, you don't have to stress about having everything you need to keep your baby fed and happy either.

$24.99

Washable Breast Pads

washable breast pads

Mamas' bodies are amazingly made to help breast milk flow when it's in demand—but occasionally also at other times. Especially as your supply is establishing or your breasts are fuller as the length between feeding sessions increase, it's helpful to use washable nursing pads to prevent breast milk from leaking through your bra.

$8.99

Breast Milk Storage Bags

Dr. Brown's milk storage bags

The essential for mamas who do any pumping, breast milk storage bags allow you to easily and safely seal expressed milk in the refrigerator or freezer. Dr. Brown's™ Breast Milk Storage Bags take it even further with extra thick walls that block out scents from other food items and feature an ultra secure lock to prevent leaking.

$7.99


Watch one mama's review of the new Dr. Brown's breastfeeding line here:

This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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