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“Miscarriage” is a word that is often only whispered.


But that doesn’t mean it isn’t common. Millions of women around us today have experienced pregnancy loss. Our friends and sisters are experiencing them now, and our mothers and grandmothers went through them before us. Yet each generation has dealt with silence surrounding the topic.

Women experiencing miscarriage need information and support. Every woman is different, but many of the basics remain the same.

Heres what you need to know about miscarriage.

1. Many women experience miscarriage.

Many women will experience at least one miscarriage in their lifetimes. By one estimate, one in four women will miscarry.

Most miscarriages may actually go undetected by the mother. Fifty to 75% of them occur even before a woman has missed her period (called “chemical pregnancy”).

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Ten to 25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage, and most happen before 13 weeks.

Second-trimester miscarriages happen in 1 to 5% of pregnancies.

While miscarriages may be relatively common, that doesn’t soften the loss. Women who have miscarriages, at least one study shows, are at risk for depression and anxiety. It’s also important for women to keep in mind the physical reality of experiencing miscarriage: The American Psychological Association notes that “pregnancy hormones can continue to cause emotional turbulence” for women who miscarry.

Every woman’s experience of miscarriage is personal to her. As Kate Kripke at Postpartum Progress explains:

Some women who lose babies through miscarriage are able to move through this loss freely, while others feel deep despair at this loss. There are no shouldsin this. No right way to feel. If you feel strong and grounded and ready to move forward after a miscarriage that is totally valid. If you feel deep loss and grief then that, too, is appropriate. No one gets to tell you how you feel except you.

2. We havent been talking enough about miscarriage.

When Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, pediatrician and philanthropist Priscilla Chan, announced that they were expecting a baby girl, they also shared that they had experienced three miscarriages along the way.

In their statement, they shared how lonely they felt experiencing repeat miscarriages, noting that many people don’t often discuss the topic:

“Most people don’t discuss miscarriages because you worry your problems will distance you or reflect upon you—as if you’re defective or did something to cause this. In today’s open and connected world, discussing these issues doesn’t distance us; it brings us together. It creates understanding and tolerance, and it gives us hope.”

Speaking up about our miscarriage experiences is one way we can strip away the stigma in our society. Motherly reader Angela, who experienced a miscarriage at 12.5 weeks, said that the more she spoke with friends about her miscarriage, the more she realized how common it was.

“Sharing the experience made the burden of the loss easier,” she told us.

3. Most miscarriages cannot be prevented.

Chromosomal abnormalities are at the root of most miscarriages, the American Pregnancy Association notes. Causes of miscarriage include:

  • Hormonal problems, infections or maternal health problems
  • Implantation of the egg into the uterine lining does not occur properly
  • Maternal age
  • Maternal trauma
  • Lifestyle (e.g., smoking, drug use, malnutrition, excessive caffeine and exposure to radiation or toxic substances)

Dr. John Zhang, medical director of New Hope Fertility Center in New York City explains that there are many different reasons why women miscarry and that “these reasons could differ from woman to woman and from pregnancy to pregnancy.”

Resolve: The National Infertility Association says that additional potential causes for miscarriages including abnormal hormone levels, cervical issues, infections, environmental factors and immunologic causes. Your doctor can help you identify any underlying issues as you receive medical care for miscarriage.

4. Miscarriage is a process.

If you start bleeding or experience heavy cramping while pregnant, call your doctor. He or she can assess whether you need to be seen immediately. If you are feeling faint or are experiencing heavy bleeding, call 911.

Columbia University’s OB-GYN experts note that doctors usually diagnose a miscarriage with ultrasound, though pregnancy blood tests for the hormone human chorionic gonadotrophin (hCG) may be used as well. “If the fetus is no longer in the uterus, or there is no longer a fetal heartbeat, miscarriage is diagnosed.”

There are a few ways to remove fetal and pregnancy tissue after a miscarriage is confirmed.

Your doctor may advise you to let the fetal and pregnancy tissue pass naturally if there is no sign of infection, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. This could take up to two weeks or more. You could also take medication that will cause bleeding and possible cramping, diarrhea and nausea, or have a surgical procedure. Procedures include a vacuum aspiration where your health care provider inserts an instrument or suction device into the uterus to remove the tissue, or a dilation and curettage (D&C)—dilation refers to opening the cervix; curettage refers to removing the contents of the uterus.

You will likely bleed for sometime afterward, usually for one to two weeks.

5. Women (and men) may be emotionally affected.

“No matter how often a person miscarries, the news is never an easy thing to accept. From the moment a woman sees a plus sign on a pregnancy test, they connect with the baby they have conceived and begin to dream for their baby’s future,” says Amanda Kern, a blogger and photographer who has written about her three miscarriages.

Many women depend on love and support from their partners and family members when going through the loss of a miscarriage. “My husband could not have been a better source of support, emotionally, mentally or physically,” says Angela, who was 30 at the time of her miscarriage. “And my son, who was around 18 months at the time, made it a little easier.”

Others turn to their faith or trust in a higher power. You might try connecting to whatever gives you a deep source of strength to find purpose in your experience.

Sometimes women need professional support. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a qualified therapist or doctor who can help you work through your experience. Organizations like Resolve offer support in the form of online or in-person groups, along with many different resources.

6. Most women who experience miscarriage can go on to have healthy pregnancies.

The sense of loss after miscarriage is real. Still, there is hope that future pregnancies will be healthy ones. The Mayo Clinic notes:

“Miscarriage is usually a one-time occurrence. Most women who miscarry go on to have healthy pregnancies after a miscarriage.”

7. You might have an easier time getting pregnant again soon after a miscarriage.

New research suggests that while women should give themselves time to heal emotionally and mentally after a miscarriage, they have a great shot at a healthy pregnancy if they try again soon. As a Health.com/CNN report notes:

“Women who conceive within six months of a miscarriage instead of waiting up to a year reduce their risk of another miscarriage by one-third, and they also increase their chances of a healthy and successful pregnancy.”

8. Its time to lift the stigma.

One Motherly reader says how she’s “grateful to have had that experience in order to help others through it.”

Barbara Collura, president and CEO of Resolve, agrees with the value in sharing your story, even if only with a small network of trusted friends.

“There is not enough awareness or information regarding miscarriage, how common it is and the emotional toll it places on women, couples and families,” she says. “As with many public health issues, we tend to see real awareness and understanding when people share their personal stories. While this is incredibly difficult to do, it helps normalize it and provides greater compassion and understanding.”

One reader tells Motherly that she dealt with her loss with by focusing on the positive. “[I felt] gratitude knowing that pregnancy was possible for me—it really lifted my spirits,” she says.

Dr. Zhang stresses that there is life after miscarriage. “Positivity is so important to success,” he says. “It is critical to look at what we do as a full body, holistic approach—mind, heart, brain, body.”

Miscarriage is common, but it’s always deeply personal. It’s a difference experience and situation from couple to couple, and as Dr. Zhang added, “it’s important to understand you aren’t alone in this.”

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[Editor's note: While Motherly loves seeing and sharing photos of baby Archie and other adorable babies when the images are shared with their parents' consent, we do not publish pictures taken without a parent's consent. Since these pictures were taken without Markle's permission while she was walking her dogs, we're not reposting them.]

Meghan Markle is a trendsetter for sure. When she wears something the world notices, and this week she was photographed wearing her son Archie in a baby carrier. The important thing to know about the photos is that they show the Duchess out for a walk with her two dogs while wearing Archie in a blue Ergo. She's not hands-free baby wearing, but rather wearing an Ergo while also supporting Archie with her arm, as the carrier isn't completely tight.

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When British tabloids published the pictures many babywearing devotees and internet commenters offered opinions on how Markle is holding her son in the photo, but as baby gear guru Jamie Grayson notes, "it is none of our business."

In a post to his Facebook page, Grayson (noted NYC baby gear expert) explained that in the last day or so he has been inundated with hundreds of messages about how Markle is wearing the carrier, and that while he's sure many who messaged with concerns had good intentions he hopes to inject some empathy into the conversation.

As Grayson points out, these are paparazzi photos, so it was a private moment not meant for world-wide consumption. "This woman has the entire world watching her every move and action, especially now that she and Harry are leaving the umbrella of the royal family, and I honestly hope they are able to find some privacy and peace. So let's give her space," he explains, adding that "while those pictures show something that is less than ideal, it's going to be okay. I promise. It's not like she's wearing the baby upside down."

He's right, Archie was safe and not in danger and who knows why the straps on Markle's carrier were loose (maybe she realized people were about to take pictures and so she switched Archie from forward-facing, or maybe the strap just slipped.)

Grayson continues: "When you are bringing up how a parent is misusing a product (either in-person or online) please consider your words. Because tone of voice is missing in text, it is important to choose your words carefully because ANYTHING can be misconstrued. Your good intentions can easily be considered as shaming someone."

Grayson's suggestions injected some much-needed empathy into this discourse and reminded many that new parents are human beings who are just trying to do their best with responsibilities (and baby gear) that isn't familiar to them.

Babywearing has a ton of benefits for parents and the baby, but it can take some getting used to. New parents can research safety recommendations so they feel confident. In Canada, where the pictures in question were snapped, the government recommends parents follow these safety guidelines when wearing infants in carriers:

  • Choose a product that fits you and your baby properly.
  • Be very careful putting a baby into—or pulling them out of—a carrier or sling. Ask for help if you need it.
  • When wearing a carrier or sling, do not zip up your coat around the baby because it increases the risk of overheating and suffocation.
  • Be particularly careful when using a sling or carrier with babies under 4 months because their airways are still developing.
  • Do not use a carrier or sling during activities that could lead to injury such as cooking, running, cycling, or drinking hot beverages.

Health Canada also recommends parents "remember to keep your baby visible and kissable at all times" and offers the following tips to ensure kissability.

"Keep the baby's face in view. Keep the baby in an upright position. Make sure the baby's face is not pressed into the fabric of the carrier or sling, your body, or clothing. Make sure the baby's chin is not pressed into their chest. Make sure the baby's legs are not bunched up against their stomach, as this can also restrict breathing. Wear the baby snug enough to support their back and hold onto the baby when bending over so they don't fall out of the carrier or sling. Check your baby often."

Meghan Markle is a new mom who was caught off guard during a moment she didn't expect her baby to be photographed. Every parent (no matter how famous) has a right to privacy for their child and the right to compassion from other parents. If we want people to learn how to safely babywear we can't shame them for trying.

Mama, if you've been shamed for wearing your baby "wrong" don't feel like you need to stop. Follow the tips above or check in with local baby-wearing groups to get advice and help. You've got this.

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At one of the most important nights of their career, celebrities made sure their hairstyles stayed put together at the 26th Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards. As a collective, the hairstyles were beautiful—french twists, bobs, pin curls and killer cuts filled the red carpet on the night to remember.

And surprisingly, the secret wasn't just the stylist team, mama. For many of the celebs, much of the look can be attributed to a $5 hairspray—yes, you read that correctly.

Dove style+care micro mist extra hold hairspray was one of the top stylist picks for celebs for a lightweight, flexible finishing spray, leaving tons of body and bounce. Unlike most hairsprays that can take several minutes (even a half hour) to set the look, this extra-hold one contains a fast-drying, water-free formula that helps protect your hair from frizz in minutes. As a result, celebrities were able to hold the shape of their styles, with mega volume.

"Dove hairspray works well by holding curls in place with maximum hold and ultra shine, while still maintaining soft, touchable texture that is easy to brush out," says Dennis Gots for Dove Hair, who styled Phoebe Waller-Bridge for the SAG Awards. Translation: It's great for on-the-go mamas who want a shiny hold that lasts, but doesn't feel sticky.

Here are a few awesome hairstyles that were finished with the drugstore Dove style+care micro mist extra hold hairspray at the SAG awards:

Lili Reinhart's French twist

"I sprayed Dove style+care micro mist extra hold hairspray all over Lili's hair to lock in the shape and boost the shine factor, making the whole look really sleek," says stylist Renato Campora who was inspired to create the look by Reinhart's romantic gown. "Lili's look is sleek and sharp with a romantic twist."

Cynthia Erivo's finger waves

"This look is classic Cynthia! I knew I wanted to keep it simple, but it's actually quite detailed and intricate up close," says stylist Coree Moreno. "While the hair was still wet (yes—I needed to work fast!) I generously spritzed on the hairspray for all night hold without flaking. The hair continued to air dry perfectly while she finished up makeup."

Nathalie Emmanuel's curly high pony

"Nathalie wanted a retro Hollywood glam for the SAG Awards, so I used her natural texture and created a high pony with loose tendrils framing her face and neckline," says stylist, Neeko. "I finessed the look with the hairspray to lock in the style while keeping her hair looking and feeling touchable."

Phoebe Waller-Bridge's slicked back bob

"I used duckbill clips on different areas of her hair to keep the shape and curl while the hair air dried. Air drying the hair allowed for maximum shine and then I sprayed lots of hairspray all over to truly lock in the sleek shape and enhance the shine," says stylist Dennis Gots, who was inspired by a 90s vibe for Waller-Bridge's look.

Dove Style+Care Micro Mist Extra Hold Hairspray

Dove Style+Care Micro Mist Extra Hold Hairspray

Who doesn't want a hairspray that makes your hair feel as good as it looks? Dove Style+Care Extra Hold Hairspray holds body, volume and enhances shine. It gives your hair touchable hold while fighting frizz, even in damp or humid conditions.

$4.89

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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We often think of the unequal gender division of unpaid labor as a personal issue, but a new report by Oxfam proves that it is a global issue—and that a handful of men are becoming incredibly wealthy while women and girls bear the burden of unpaid work and poverty.

According to Oxfam, the unpaid care work done by women and girls has an economic value of $10.8 trillion per year and benefits the global economy three times more than the entire technology industry.

"Women are supporting the market economy with cheap and free labor and they are also supporting the state by providing care that should be provided by the public sector," the report notes.

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The unpaid work of hundreds of millions of women is generating massive wealth for a couple of thousand (predominantly male) billionaires. "What is clear is that this unpaid work is fueling a sexist economic system that takes from the many and puts money in the pockets of the few," the report states.

Max Lawson is Oxfam International's Head of Inequality Policy. In an interview with Vatican News, he explained that "the foundation of unpaid work done by the poorest women generates enormous wealth for the economy," and that women do billions of hours of unpaid care work (caring for children, the sick, the elderly and cooking, cleaning) for which they see no financial reward but which creates financial rewards for billionaires.

Indeed, the report finds that globally 42% of women can't work for money because of their unpaid care responsibilities.

In the United States, women spend 37% more time doing unpaid care work than men, Oxfam America notes in a second report released in cooperation with the Institute for Women's Policy Research.

"It's an economy that is built on the backs of women and of poor women and their labour, whether it's poorly paid labour or even unpaid labour, it is a sexist economy and it's a broken economy, and you can only fix the gap between the rich and the poor if at the same time you fix the gap between women and men," Lawson explains.

According to Lawson, you can't fight economic inequality without fighting gender equality, and he says 2020 is the year to do both. Now is a great time to start, because as Motherly has previously reported, no country in the world is on track to eliminate gender inequality by 2030 (one of the Sustainable Development Goals adopted by 193 United Nations member countries back in 2015) and no country will until the unpaid labor of women and girls is addressed.

"Governments around the world can, and must, build a human economy that is feminist and benefits the 99%, not only the 1%," the Oxfam report concludes.

The research suggests that paid leave, investments in childcare and the care of older adults and people with disabilities as well as utilizing technology to make working more flexible would help America close the gap.

(For more information on how you can fight for paid leave, affordable childcare and more this year check out yearofthemother.org.)

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It's been more than a decade since federal guidelines were implemented to ensure nursing mothers have the time and space to pump at work, but as Motherly has previously reported, many mothers still find it extremely challenging to maintain a pumping schedule in the workplace.

This week a new study out of the University of Georgia showed that while most women report having access to private spaces and break times for pumping there are still significant "gaps in access to workplace breastfeeding resources" and the researchers recommend employers take action to reduce breastfeeding disparities.

"We know that there are benefits of breastfeeding for both the mother and the infant, and we know that returning to work is a significant challenge for breastfeeding continuation," says Rachel McCardel, a doctoral student at UGA's College of Public Health and lead study author. "There is a collective experience that we wanted to explore and learn how can we make this better."

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The challenges of breastfeeding in 2020

There is a lot of pressure on mothers to exclusively breastfeed, but nearly half of mothers feel like they must make a choice between breastfeeding and keeping their job. A baby's mother is the best person to decide whether the infant should be breastfed, formula-fed or both, but it should be her choice. When workplace supports for breastfeeding are not in place many mothers feel like they don't have a choice at all.

Public health campaigns and social norms reinforce breastfeeding as the best choice, but a recent survey from Areoflow found that 1 in 3 people (31%) "do not believe employers should be required to provide a lactation room" but at the same time, 90% of those surveyed stated that they believe women should be allowed to pump at work.

For too many women, those contradicting messages mean that pumping at work is an uncomfortable experience, something they need to do nearly in secret. It's an example of the many ways in which mothers are supposed to parent as though they don't work but pretend they aren't parents when at work.

Calling for change in 2020

Half the states in America explicitly protect the rights of nursing parents in the workplace, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures, and federal law also provides protections to nursing workers under the Affordable Care Act. Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act—but millions of working mothers are not covered by those protections, and the new research out of the University of Georgia's College of Public Health suggests that even mothers who are need more support from their employers.

Heather Padilla is an assistant professor at UGA's College of Public Health and the co-author of the study. She recommends employers "designate a person who is responsible for making sure that women who are preparing for the birth of their baby understand what resources they have available to them when they return to work," she said.

Supervisors or HR directors could fill this role, and would fill a gap between company policy and personal experience. Padilla and McCardel found that many women "said they hadn't expected to get much help from their employers, and there was a general lack of communication about the resources available to them."

The work Padilla and McCardel have done reinforces the work we at Motherly are doing: In 2020 we are calling for change, and demanding support for mothers feeding their babies.

Mamas need to work + babies need to eat

For many American mothers work is not a choice, it is a necessity. Mothers are increasingly the breadwinners for their families and it is very hard for mothers, even those with working partners, to be a stay-at-home parent in 2020.

We need paid family leave and protection from breastfeeding discrimination. We need employers to support working mothers who choose to pump, and we need to reduce the stigmatization of formula feeding.

Mama, we see you pumping in your office and mixing formula bottles to take to day care. We see how hard it is and we support you. Know that no matter what your baby is eating—bottled breast milk, formula, or some combination (because breastfeeding doesn't have to be all or nothing)—we know you are working so hard to provide it.

We have declared 2020 the #yearofthemother. Join us, and call for change because McCardel is right—this is a collective experience and it is one we can make better for the mothers who come after us.

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