When Whitney Port, reality star and Chief Brand Director for Bundle Organics, welcomed her son Sonny in 2017 she didn't feel like she could do it all on her own, and she didn't have to.
On the latest episode of The Motherly Podcast, Port tells Motherly co-founder Liz Tenety why she needed her husband Tim Rosenman more than ever after giving birth, and why leaning on her partner helps her be the mom and the creator she wants to be.
Port describes Rosenman as a present father and 50/50 partner, much like her own dad was, and says that throughout her journey into motherhood he has encouraged and supported her personally and professionally. Having a teammate in parenting has been helpful to Port as she figured out this whole motherhood thing, but taking time when she and Rosenman get to focus on each other instead of on parenting has proven to be necessary, too.
"I think the relationship between you and your husband is something that's not talked about enough," says Port, who explains that Rosenman isn't just a guy often holding the camera during her popular Youtube series "I love my baby, but…", he's the person who suggested she start staring her experience of motherhood with the world in the first place, back when she was having a really hard time in her first trimester of pregnancy.
At first, Port thought it was crazy to get on camera when she was feeling so sick and unglamorous, but Rosenman's encouragement inspired her to share her unvarnished parenting journey which has in turn inspired and encouraged so many other mamas.
"I tell Timmy all the time that he should have his own YouTube series about [parenthood]. I think it would be helpful to a get husband's perspectives on this," she tells Tenety.
Port says that Rosenman is a really involved dad, and she certainly loves being a mom, but after Sonny was born there have been times when she just needed to connect with Rosenman as partners, instead of parents. She felt terribly guilty about taking an adults-only trip with her husband last summer, but she's over that because it was good for her and good for her marriage.
"I need this so badly. Like I need this time with Timmy for our relationship, for my own confidence, for just like a breather from life," she explains.
She hopes other moms don't feel guilty about needing to prioritize their marriage sometimes, or for needing their partner to shoulder a fair share of the parenting responsibilities. "I think that we can expect more from our husbands and we should be able to ask more of them," she explains.
To hear more about Port's experiences in motherhood and marriage listen to The Motherly Podcast, sponsored by Prudential, for the full interview.