Pregnancy has taught me so much—about myself, my body and my marriage.
It has proven that I can handle much more than I've ever given myself credit for—mentally, physically and emotionally.
It has shown me that I am brave. The thought of getting a human out of your body in any way, shape or form can be...well, terrifying. But it must be done. And I did it. Twice.
It helped me discover how strong and capable my body is. What our bodies do to accommodate these little humans growing inside of us is totally wild and impressive—to say the least.
It deepened my love for my husband, the father of my children, in unimaginable ways. (I guess creating a baby together can do that to you.)
Pregnancy has given me two of the most precious gifts of my life.
And I'll deliver one more this fall.
My daughters are my heart and my world. They are these wonderful, awe-inspiring, creative, strong, intelligent humans. I don't know how we did it, my husband and I, but we made some good ones. And I thank my lucky stars every single day for these children.
Pregnancy and I have had our ups and downs, but (luckily) mostly ups.
I've experienced pregnancy by surprise (twice!) and I've experienced it in a planned, scheduled manner (once!). Both are exciting and nerve-wracking. Seeing those two little pink lines or the word 'pregnant' appear (because, let's be honest, I've taken about 5,729 different types of pregnancy tests at this point) is a mind-blowing experience.
Pregnancy has given me migraines, exhaustion, nausea, gestational diabetes and backaches. It's shown me that I can survive without spicy crunchy tuna rolls and red wine for 40 weeks. And that I can still sleep (...kinda) without my favorite stomach-sleeping-position.
But oh! What wonderful, miraculous experiences pregnancy has also given me.
Sure—there are challenges with pregnancy. 100%. Some women experience extreme nausea throughout their entire pregnancy, some women have to go on bed rest, some women have preeclampsia, some women have bleeding scares, all pregnant women watch their bodies grow and change, and handle it in different ways—there are lots of ups and downs.
Pregnancy isn't for the weak.
But even with the challenges and the 'rules'—there has been nothing like experiencing the miracle of creating and growing another human inside my body.
It will never, ever cease to amaze me.
Feeling those first kicks is absolute magic. ✨
Celebrating the first sign of your baby bump is so, so exciting.
Wearing those first few maternity outfits is...interesting.
Talking about potential names is wild and let's be honest—also challenging. I mean...agreeing on a name is really hard!
Hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time just about makes yours explode.
Seeing your future son or daughter at each sonogram is truly humbling.
Prepping the nursery and nesting is satisfying. ✔️
Letting go of fears and getting ready to welcome your baby into the world is e v e r y t h i n g.
And knowing when your family is complete is...a bit...confusing.
My husband and I have talked about this baby being our last. That once she is here, our family will be complete. It feels right to us. But it also feels final. It feels like I am 100% ready for this to be my last pregnancy. But it also feels crazy thinking about never being pregnant again.
I've been feeling so many big emotions accepting that this really could be it for me. It's strange, but I have this unexplainable feeling in my heart that three is the right amount of children for our family.
I am sad and happy and relieved and confused and excited and scared—all in one jumbled mix of emotions. (WARNING: Motherhood involves ALL the feels.)
I'm trying to appreciate every moment of this pregnancy all while mourning the inevitable closing of this chapter in my life.
These feelings are hard to process, but I know I will be at peace with it soon. I'm looking toward my future with my heart wide open, ready to welcome our third baby into our family and focus on what I do have, not what I may never have again.