This is why we should stop asking couples, ‘When are you having kids?’

“Don’t ask them when they are having kids. You never know what’s going on.”

This is why we should stop asking couples, ‘When are you having kids?’

It's a seemingly innocent comment: “Are you guys gonna have kids soon?"


But for couples that are struggling with infertility, it's a comment that causes pain, embarrassment—even deception.

Because the truth is, you don't really ever know what people are going through.

And if a woman answers:

-we are just enjoying being newly married
-we have some travelling we want to do first
-I'm just focusing on my career right now.....

She might really be saying, “we are having trouble getting pregnant." Or “I had a miscarriage recently." Or a whole host of deeply personal reasons that really are none of our business.

Adele Barbaro's poignant, and now-viral Facebook post explains the dilemma couples go through when people ask when they're having kids—but the answer is more complicated than meets the eye.

“Next time you go to say that 'throw away' comment to the newlyweds or the couple that have been together for ten years, be sensitive. Don't ask them when they are having kids. You never know what's going on."

Here's Adele's full post—


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