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Why I decided to unschool my children

This unstructured time at home with your kids might change the way you think about learning and school forever.

Why I decided to unschool my children

"How are you holding up?" These days, it's the start of every conversation, email or text. In what feels like the blink of an eye, our whole lives have changed. Our routines uprooted. Work is unpredictable, or worse, non-existent. And just as we're wrapping our minds around phrases like "global pandemic" and "social distancing," the kids are home. Some of them, this year for good. How are you holding up?

Adding homeschooling to an already overflowing plate is stressful. And in times of uncertainty or stress, most of us do what we know, what's familiar. We break out the color-coded schedules, download the latest list of resources, and print out the worksheets. So many worksheets. And don't forget to panic every half hour or so trying to figure out how this is going to work.

About three years ago, I found myself in a similar position. Not a global pandemic, of course, but faced with uncertainty about this new journey our family had embarked on. In February, my then8-year-old son had come home from school and asked for what felt like the hundredth time that year, could I please just be homeschooled? I finally agreed.


The day I filed the paperwork officially withdrawing him from school, I was like so many people at the start of the pandemic I created the schedules, printed out the worksheets, bought the curriculum and set off to recreate the classroom in my dining room. Committed to adding "teacher" to my work-at-home job title, I tried to control and plan every second of my son's day. It was every bit as stressful and overwhelming as you'd imagine—or at this point, as you know.

Months before making this transition, I came across unschooling (which, to be clear, is not the same as homeschooling). I breezed over it, in search of a curriculum I could get behind. But in those early anxiety-induced months, I revisited that strange unschooling concept that suggested maybe kids, young people, can think and choose for themselves. What a radical idea.

Unschooling can mean many different things depending on who you ask, and the openness and lack of structure can feel really uncomfortable and unfamiliar. But setting labels aside, for us, unschooling simply means following our children's lead. We provide support, assistance and, when needed, instruction.

When we found our youngest son literally jumping off the walls, we signed him up for Parkour classes.

When our middle son announced he might want to be a chef, we helped pick out cookbooks and accompanied him to buy ingredients for recipes he wanted to try.

And when our eldest decided he wanted to attend a specialized public high school to focus on digital media, we supported that as well.

If what I'm saying—this idea to follow your children's lead instead of a predetermined path that may or may not be relevant to them and their interests—sounds extreme, I understand. But there are two things I've learned over our journey that I think might offer some perspective.

First, learning doesn't only happen at school. For better or worse, one can absolutely exist without the other. Learning, as it turns out, happens everywhere, all the time. In the recipe making (we have to double the recipe to make six brownies so instead of ⅓ cup, we need...?), in the dance routines, in the art, in the conversations, in the play.

Second, I realized that in replicating the traditional school model, we were creating an environment that is designed to be efficient for classrooms full of students. At home, you have the unique opportunity to focus on your individual child—you can follow their interests and if you can make that mindset adjustment, the possibilities are endless.

I'm not saying it's easy. We've been unschooling for three years, and what I miss most right now are the two days a week my children used to spend at Natural Creativity, a self-directed learning center where facilitators take on the task of supporting, guiding and assisting so I can have precious time to work (Natural Creativity will actually be featured in the insightful upcoming documentary film, Unschooled).

But I am saying, this unstructured time at home with your kids might change the way you think about learning and school forever. With all of our children home every day, it's been an adjustment, especially with limited opportunities to get outside and explore, but our seasoned unschoolers are taking it in stride.

Our youngest has discovered hip hop fitness thanks to a well-placed YouTube ad on his second 30-minute routine of the day.

That 8-year-old who started it all is now an 11-year-old flipping through his newest cookbook to see what recipe to make this week.

But it's our high schooler who's most fascinating to see. He logs into Google Classroom but eventually closes it for equity reasons, the schools in our district aren't able to enforce grading just yet. Unsure of what to do, I offer him some relief. "If you didn't HAVE to learn Spanish (the only language offered at his school) what language would you learn?" A huge grin spreads across his face and referencing his love for anime, he responds, "Japanese?" And he's off! Week two of Duolingo and learning Japanese in hopes of finally watching anime sans subtitles.

That's the power of unschooling.

We're all living and navigating this new reality together. For many of us, life will never quite be the same. But, maybe there's something different, something better we can discover.

You'd be surprised where the learning happens once they're in the driver's seat.

Are you unschooling your kids? Here are some of our favorite at-home learning products that are fun for everyone.

Big Life journal

Big Life Journal

Making mistakes is an integral part of learning. This engaging guided journal invites kids to explore their own challenges, failures and successes and develop a growth mindset in the process. Painstakingly developed by a team of educators, therapists, scientists and kids, it's a treasure in the making.

$25

Farm Steady food making kits

Farm Steady food kit

The food making kits from Farm Steady are a fun and easy way to turn the kitchen into a classroom. From bagels and pretzels to cheeses and fermented foods there are many delicious "lessons" to choose from!

$30

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

14 outdoor toys your kids will want to play with beyond summer

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$30

Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!

$75

Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

$120

Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

$30

Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$100

Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40

Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121

Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.

$100

Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.

$45

Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.

$179

Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.

$100

Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$33

Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$88

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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