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I love having kids close in age—here are 10 unexpected reasons why

6. It has forced me to let go of some unnecessary control.

I love having kids close in age—here are 10 unexpected reasons why

Having kids really close in age is...hmmm...there are so many ways to end that sentence. It's exciting. It's scary. It's interesting. It's intimidating. It's helpful. It's honestly wild—but also very, very cool.

Giving my children the gift of siblings, and particularly ones that are similar in age, has been magical to watch. It's definitely not always perfect (not even close), but it is our reality—and even though it's super busy—I really love it.

I love watching them communicate with one another in what is basically their secret language. I adore listening to them make each other laugh. And I feel confident that this is what my motherhood path was meant to be.

It reminds me of growing up with my four siblings, all close in age—my mom had five kids within eight years. It was always hectic growing up, but I loved having a sibling to play with who was usually interested in the same stuff I was. And now that we're all adults, we're still super close and I guess that gives me hope that my kids will always be close too.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with baby number three, and will soon have three under four. If that sounds overwhelming to you, it's because...well, it is. But it's our overwhelm. And I've personally found many pros to deciding to have our kids close together.

1. They have a built-in best friend.

They have a strong bond already. They teach each other things. They always have someone around to play with. Their chatter before bed, when we leave the room, is probably one of the cutest things in the world. And they're very protective of each other.

2. They are on similar schedules for awhile.

For the most part, we are all on the same routine/schedule. They wake up around the same time as each other in the morning. We eat meals at the same time. They bathe together. And sometimes, they even nap at the same time. (Those days are golden!)

3. I've been in the baby/toddler parenting groove for a few years now.

I have been in the baby/toddler phase since the start of 2014 and haven't left yet. Won't for a while. So everything we're doing and going through is the "norm" for me right now. I'm still in the mindset of caring for children who aren't yet fully independent.

4. They share similar interests.

They typically love the same TV shows and movies, the same toys, books and activities—and the hand-me-down clothes stay in style when you don't have a big gap between wears.

5. I have an excuse for feeling a little out of it.

Things are just downright wild some days. I work from home, am managing the kids and house and various other things—it's just wild. But I have an excuse for feeling like I'm losing my mind. My close-in-age kids! (Though I'm pretty sure I'd feel this way with three kids spaced out too.)

6. It has forced me to let go of some unnecessary control.

Things can't be perfect. The house can't look perfect while the kids are behaving and listening perfectly while I'm also getting the exact perfect amount of work done while cooking the perfect meal. That's not going to happen with one kid, with multiple kids spaced out, and it definitely isn't going to happened when you have children who are close in age. You're needed too much for everything to be perfect.

7. I am able to be more spontaneous than I used to be.

Because my kiddos are on the same schedule and things are often pretty busy, I'm forced to make decisions quickly and just go with it. So, that's what I try to do—pivot when necessary and redirect when possible!

8. I know how to ask for, and accept, help.

I was so proud as a new mom—I wanted to do everything by myself, in my own way, on my own terms with my oldest daughter. Now, with a 3-year-old, a 1-year-old, and soon, a newborn, too—I ain't got time for pride! I can admit when I'm overwhelmed or when I could use help. And I accept that help with grace and gratefulness.

9. I am a bolder, more confident woman.

I need to speak up more. Because, as I've recently noticed, people aren't shy about commenting on how many children I have or how completely shocked they act when you tell them your kiddos (similar) ages or how many times you hear, "Boy! Your hands are going to be full huh?!" as they look from your children to your big baby bump. Yes, they already are THANKYOUFORNOTICING.

10.  My heart is bigger and more open than I could have ever imagined in my life.

My heart is big, full and wide open. I am constantly learning from this dynamic we have going on and they're always keeping me on my toes every single day. My kids are making me a better human.

I felt lost as a new mother, but babywearing helped me find myself again

I wish someone had told me before how special wearing your baby can be, even when you have no idea how to do it.

My first baby and I were alone in our Brooklyn apartment during a particularly cold spring with yet another day of no plans. My husband was back at work after a mere three weeks of parental leave (what a joke!) and all my friends were busy with their childless lives—which kept them too busy to stop by or check in (making me, at times, feel jealous).

It was another day in which I would wait for baby to fall asleep for nap number one so I could shower and get ready to attempt to get out of the house together to do something, anything really, so I wouldn't feel the walls of the apartment close in on me by the time the second nap rolled around. I would pack all the diapers and toys and pacifiers and pump and bottles into a ginormous stroller that was already too heavy to push without a baby in it .

Then I would spend so much time figuring out where we could go with said stroller, because I wanted to avoid places with steps or narrow doors (I couldn't lift the stroller by myself and I was too embarrassed to ask strangers for help—also hi, New Yorkers, please help new moms when you see them huffing and puffing up the subway stairs, okay?). Then I would obsess about the weather, was it too cold to bring the baby out? And by the time I thought I had our adventure planned, the baby would wake up, I would still be in my PJs and it was time to pump yet again.

Slowly, but surely, and mostly thanks to sleep deprivation and isolation, I began to detest this whole new mom life. I've always been a social butterfly. I moved to New York because I craved that non-stop energy the city has and in the years before having my baby I amassed new friends I made through my daily adventures. I would never stop. I would walk everywhere just to take in the scenery and was always on the move.

Now I had this ball and chain attached to me, I thought, that didn't even allow me to make it out of the door to walk the dog. This sucks, I would think regularly, followed by maybe I'm not meant to be a mom after all.


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I never wanted to be a mom. It wasn't something I ever thought would happen until I fell madly in love with my husband—who knew very well he wanted children. While he was a natural at entertaining our nephews or our friends' kids, I would awkwardly try to interact with them, not really knowing what to say or do.

Our first pregnancy was a surprise, a much-wanted one but also a unicorn, "first try" kind of pregnancy. As my belly grew bigger, so did my insecurities. How do you even mom when you never saw motherhood in your future? I focused all my uncertainties on coming up with a plan for the delivery of my baby—which proved to be a terrible idea when my dreamed-of unmedicated vaginal birth turned into an emergency C-section. I couldn't even start motherhood the way I wanted, I thought. And that feeling happened again when I couldn't breastfeed and instead had to pump and bottle-feed. And once more, when all the stress from things not going my way turned into debilitating postpartum anxiety that left me not really enjoying my brand new baby.

As my baby grew, slowly so did my confidence that I could do this. When he would tumble to the ground while learning how to walk and only my hugs could calm him, I felt invincible. But on the nights he wouldn't sleep—whether because he was going through a regression, a leap, a teeth eruption or just a full moon—I would break down in tears to my husband telling him that he was a better parent than me.

Then I found out I was pregnant again, and that this time it was twins. I panicked. I really cannot do two babies at the same time. I kept repeating that to myself (and to my poor husband) at every single appointment we had because I was just terrified. He, of course, thought I could absolutely do it, and he got me through a very hard pregnancy.

When the twins were born at full term and just as big as singleton babies, I still felt inadequate, despite the monumental effort I had made to grow these healthy babies and go through a repeat C-section to make sure they were both okay. I still felt my skin crawl when they cried and thought, What if I can't calm them down? I still turned to my husband for diaper changes because I wasn't a good enough mom for twins.

My husband reminded me (and still does) that I am exactly what my babies need. That I am enough. A phrase that has now become my mantra, both in motherhood and beyond, because as my husband likes to say, I'm the queen of selling myself short on everything.

So when my babies start crying, I tell myself that I am enough to calm them down.

When my toddler has a tantrum, I remind myself that I am enough to get through to him.

When I go out with the three kids by myself and start sweating about everything that could go wrong (poop explosions times three), I remind myself that I am enough to handle it all, even with a little humor.


And then one day I found this bracelet. Initially, I thought how cheesy it'd be to wear a reminder like this on my wrist, but I bought it anyway because something about it was calling my name. I'm so glad I did because since day one I haven't stopped wearing it.

Every time I look down, there it is, shining back at me. I am enough.

I Am Enough bracelet 

SONTAKEY  I Am Enough Bracelet

May this Oath Bracelet be your reminder that you are perfect just the way you are. That you are enough for your children, you are enough for your friends & family, you are enough for everything that you do. You are enough, mama <3

$35

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Errands and showers are not self-care for moms

Thinking they are is what's burning moms out.

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A friend and I bump into each other at Target nearly every time we go. We don't pre-plan this; we must just be on the same paper towel use cycle or something. Really, I think there was a stretch where I saw her at Target five times in a row.

We've turned it into a bit of a running joke. "Yeah," I say sarcastically, "We needed paper towels so you know, I had to come to Target… for two hours of alone time."

She'll laugh and reply, "Oh yes, we were out of… um… paper clips. So here I am, shopping without the kids. Heaven!"

Now don't get me wrong. I adore my trips to Target (and based on the fullness of my cart when I leave, I am pretty sure Target adores my trips there, too).

But my little running joke with my friend is actually a big problem. Because why is the absence of paper towels the thing that prompts me to get a break? And why on earth is buying paper towels considered a break for moms?

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