You would never tell your child to delay their happiness, so why delay yours?

Mamas, the time is now. We have to stop waiting to create the life we desire and so deserve. We have to speak up and ask for what we want and need.

You would never tell your child to delay their happiness, so why delay yours?

Should I wait to be happy?

If your child asked you this question what would you tell them?

"Yes, honey, wait to be happy. You're about to be three, and when you're three everything will be different. You'll have more time, less stress and things will just be easier then."

No. I don't think you would.

If your child told you they were going to wait until (insert arbitrary time here) to choose to be happy I'm sure you'd pull over and tell your child something like this:

"Honey, the time is never right. There is never some magic perfect time, and life is never going to create the time for you. YOU create the time, my sweet baby. If you keep on waiting, then you'll blink and life will completely pass you by. If I teach you nothing else in this life, I want you to know that whatever you want—do it NOW. The days are long but the years are short and I want you to have the courage to go live your dreams."

Waiting can be the death of our dreams. There are moments where it can feel like a long shot—to get to that life that you so deeply wish for, the one you're working so hard for. There are days I sometimes think "Why do I even bother? It's never going to be the way I dream."

But what if it can be that way?

What if you had the power within you to make your dream life happen?

We so often think we have to do it all ourselves and I want to remind you that you don't. We can easily feel alone because we think we are supposed to handle it all—to be Super Wife, Super Friend, Super House Cleaner, etc.
But the weight of that pressure slowly chips away at our soul.

When I had my firstborn I instantly started to carry the titles of Super Fiancé, Super Mom, Super Daughter-in-law and Super Daughter. If someone asked if there was anything they could do to help I would quickly respond "No, I got it!" as I was trying to hide my exhaustion while I stuffed my overwhelm down with pecan pie every night.

I would clean everything as it was used. At times, I became obsessed with the house being clean while being home with my newborn because that it what a Super Mom and Super Wife do …right?!

It wasn't until I broke down to my mom. She said, "You're trying to be perfect when you don't have to be. You are going to wear yourself down real quick if you continue in this way." And I instantly knew she was right.

But I know there are so many women out there who don't receive that message. That we might not be "happy" necessarily, but we are doing what we are "supposed to" do. There is easily a long list of supposed to's and loads of mom guilt that we can carry.

But it is no longer your burden to carry those around, because there is a way to dissolve that list, and here is the secret.

By putting your needs first, by taking action and by asking for help.

There is a community around you that is untapped. We have neighbors, spouses, family friends, school friends, people at your church, family, best friends, siblings. Start asking them for what you need and want and I promise people are just waiting for the opportunity to be there for you.

I have seen many women in my life (10 years as a hairstylist) put their needs and wants last over and over and it's painful to see them now spinning in circles not knowing how to care for themselves. Or even worse, to see them feeling resentful toward motherhood and their spouses.

Mamas, the time is now. We have to stop waiting to create the life we desire and so deserve. We have to speak up and ask for what we want and need.

Take the advice you would give to your kids and choose happiness now. Don't delay it. Go after what you want today, not weeks or months from now.

It's time to do a little mothering on ourselves. We aren't meant to do this life alone, we are meant to have a village, to feel supported, and to thrive.

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14 sweet 'just thinking of you' gifts for every mama

A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs.

Who says you have to wait for birthdays or holidays to give your bestie a great gift? A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs in these more-than-trying times. We've rounded up some of our favorite go-to gifts that are certain to be a bright spot in her week. But be warned, you may want to snag a few for yourself. (You deserve it, mama.)

Here are some our favorite "just because" gifts to give our hardworking mama friends.

New Mother face + body care duo

volition face + body care duo

This correcting oil and stretch mark minimizer is perfect for the pregnant mama looking to keep her pregnancy glow. The correcting oil brightens the skin while reducing dark spots, and the stretch mark minimizer works to smooth her ever-growing belly.


Allover roller

esker allover roller

This jade roller goes beyond your typical face roller and can be used anywhere on the body. It works to increase stimulation and reduce puffiness and is perfect for applying any oils to the face or body. Plus, it feels like a mini spa treatment.


Kombucha making kit

farmsteady kombucha making kit

What could be a more perfect gift for the health-obsessed friend? This kombucha making kit comes with everything you need to brew your own homemade green tea kombucha. They'll think this is the tastiest gift ever.


Laetitia lipstick

cupid & psyche laetitia

This red lipstick is perfect for your makeup enthusiast bestie who is looking to spruce up her life in quarantine. Crafted in the United States, these bee and vegan-friendly and cruelty-free lipsticks are created to flatter all complexions. Cupid and Psyche Beauty makes finding the perfect red lip way too easy!


Jigsaw puzzle

inner piecec jigsaw puzzle

Mamas need to destress now more than ever during quarantine. This adorable jigsaw puzzle is perfect for the mama who needs a brain break! The 500-piece puzzle designed by artist Ray Oranges features an abstract gradient design that fits a standard frame when completed. Bonus: It's printed on recycled paper and the company donates $1 from every puzzle sold to youth mindfulness programs.


Matilda's Bloombox

matilda's bloombox

If we have to be stuck inside, we might as well have some gorgeous florals to brighten up the space. Matilda's Bloombox locally sources blooms, delivers them to her door and provides simple tips on how to arrange it into a beautiful bouquet.


'I Am Enough' bracelet

I Am Enough bracelet

Let this dainty bracelet serve as a constant reminder to your bestie that she is enough. She'll wear this on her wrist and read this daily oath to herself, "I Am Enough."


Glow assorted teas

vahdam low assorted teas

This tea gift box set covers the entire spectrum of flavors from sweet to spicy. Individually packaged in beautiful tins, your gal pal will feel like a queen sipping her morning tea. Originally $40, this set is currently on sale for just $24. We'll take two, please.


Find your voice journal

find your voice journal

Journaling is a great way to ease anxiety and will slow your bestie's racing mind before bed. This gift is perfect for first time journalists and includes prompts, daily quotes and coloring pages to help her unlock her potential and find her voice.


Premium frother

shore magic premium frother

This gift is fitting for your latte-sipping bestie who can't go a day without her coffee. All she has to do is add two scoops of collagen to her favorite drink, and she'll have a perfectly foamy drink ready in seconds. Skipping the drive-thru line has never been so easy!


Bath soak infusion kit

maude bath soak infusion kit

Say hello to hydration! She'll be feeling smooth and relaxed as ever after a long bath soaking in these salts. This vegan + cruelty-free set incorporates dead sea salt and dehydrated coconut milk powder for an ultra hydrating experience.


Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

It's a hard-earned title she answers to a hundred times per day. Whether she's new to the club or a seasoned professional, this delicate script 'mama' necklace is guaranteed to be a perfect fit.


Superfood honey

Beekeeper's Naturals B.Powered honey

With a lack of sleep and jam-packed days, getting through the afternoon can be a real challenge. Send her a powerful pick-me-up in the form of a therapeutic blend of royal jelly, bee pollen, propolis and raw honey. It makes the ideal companion for tea, smoothies, yogurt or even on its on.


Calming midnight mask with melatonin

Who doesn't deserve a reminder to pamper themself every once in awhile? Even better, this mask does all its work at night while you're sleeping with no extra effort needed. It's an amazing plant-powered antioxidant-packed mask that has melatonin, wild dandelion leaf and hyaluronic acid to rehydrate, repair and reset facial skin. It's so good, you might want to gift it to yourself. We won't tell, mama.


We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


This incredibly soft comforter from Sunday Citizen is like sleeping on a cloud

My only complaint? I've slept through my alarm twice.

When it comes to getting a good night's sleep, there are many factors that, as a mama, are hard to control. Who's going to wet the bed at 3 am, how many times a small person is going to need a sip of water, or the volume of your partner's snoring are total wildcards.

One thing you can control? Tricking out your bed to make it as downright cozy as possible. (And in these times, is there anywhere you want to be than your bed like 75% of the time?)

I've always been a down comforter sort of girl, but after a week of testing the ridiculously plush and aptly named Snug Comforter from Sunday Citizen, a brand that's run by "curators of soft, seekers of chill" who "believe in comfort over everything," it's safe to say I've been converted.

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Artist and teacher Catie Atkinson at Spirit y Sol recently shared a beautiful drawing of a new mom crying on a couch—leaking breasts, newborn baby, pile of laundry and what we can only assume is cold coffee, included. Everything about the image is so real and raw to me—from the soft stomach to the nursing bra and the juxtaposition of the happy wallpaper to the palpable vulnerability of the mother—I can almost feel the couch underneath me. I can feel the exhaustion deep in this woman's bones.

My heart feels the ache of loneliness right alongside hers. Because I remember. I remember the confusion and uncertainty and love and messy beauty of the fourth trimester so well. After all, it's etched in our minds and bodies forever.

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