Oh, the Horror

Co-owner of Brooklyn's Videology and mom, Wendy Chamberlain, eases your pregnancy worries and gives you a spook with these 6 scary movies.

Oh, the Horror

Let’s face it, ladies, although pregnancy is mostly awesome, it’s also, you know, fraught with terror. But what better way to deal with your fears than to watch some movies about things that will absolutely NOT happen to you or your child.

This is not you waiting for the subway.

But before we do that, let’s watch Children of Men where no one in the entire world has gotten pregnant for 18 years so that you can say, hey, at least I’m already pregnant! Ok, cool, so now that you’re feeling pretty good about not being hopelessly barren, let’s get to those movies about things I guarantee won’t go wrong during your pregnancy. We’ll start by watching Absence, the one where a woman’s unborn child is abducted from her womb by [spoiler alert] aliens, and then Inside, the one where a woman’s unborn child is cut out of her by [spoiler alert] a pair of scissors. Phew! That was pretty rough, but at least now you can say, hey, statistically speaking, neither of those scenarios is likely to happen to me!

Bad things may happen if you let ladies with bloody scissors hover over your belly, or alien suction beams shine on you.

Feeling secure about your baby not being stolen from your womb? Cool! Next watch as Demi Moore struggles with the fact that because of the coming apocalypse there may be no more souls for newborns in The Seventh Sign. Now you can be really glad that at least your baby will have a soul.

“Will my baby have a soul?” – Women Who Stand At Open Windows Dressed All In White

Since that soul thing is a real deal-breaker for being a human, you’re probably feeling pretty awesome right about now, but unfortunately there’s more than one way for your kid to be missing its soul, like, you know, being born a zombie like in Grace...

Don’t worry, you will not have to give your zombie child bottles of blood.

...or the son of satan.

Don’t worry, you will not have to give your zombie child bottles of blood.

So, yeah, go ahead and watch these movies if you’re pregnant. Because I guarantee these things will NOT happen to you.

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