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9 Mom Friends You’ll Make When You Have a Baby

Not all Mom friends are created equal.

9 Mom Friends You’ll Make When You Have a Baby

As joyous as it is to have a newborn, life at home with a wriggly, crying little human can be isolating. Finding your #momsquad is a necessity for survival. Whether you meet your mom friends through a Facebook group, listserv, or playgroup, you’ll be sure to encounter lots of women you might never have befriended had you not given birth within the same couple of weeks. Not all mom friends are created equal, however. Here are 9 moms you can expect to meet when you have a baby and how to deal with them.

1.The Straight A Student (or, The Tracy Enid Flick): She read all the parenting books so you don’t have to. She sends you and your mom group PDFs of the most important chapters. She made an excel spreadsheet of all the neighborhood Two’s programs and their application deadlines before your babies even hit the six-month mark.

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How to deal: Consider yourself lucky. Yes, she makes you feel bad about yourself as a parent but the perk is – she does the stuff you’re too tired to do. Think of her as the friend who lets you copy her homework.

2. The One And Only. She has no other mom friends (except you, oh lucky you!) You have no idea how she managed to walk the same exact blocks and visit the same exact parks you do and still not make one other social connection. A lesser person would ice her out, but you feel too guilty to abandon her.

How to deal: Bring her to one of your mom get-togethers or baby classes and introduce her to your pals. Maybe she just needs a good wingwoman. Or maybe she needs a stiff drink to loosen her up a little. Try both.

3. The Long Distance Relationship. She’s a mom friend who moved to another borough...or the suburbs. You tried to have weekly phone dates to keep in touch, but your babies are on completely different sleep schedules.

How to deal: Some of the strongest friendships are maintained via 3am texts. When you’re up with your baby while the rest of the world sleeps, send her elaborate texts to read when she’s up with hers. It isn’t the same as hearing her voice, but knowing that you’re both rocking your babies at ungodly hours makes you feel less alone and more connected to someone going through the same thing.

4. The Just Can’t Even. This mom can’t do anything. Today is never a good day for her to meet up, or even for you to come over to help her out. She cancels on you when you’re already almost at the park because she inevitably has suffered an insane diaper blowout or is on her way to the ER with yet another perceived allergic reaction.

How to deal: Don’t. You’re going through the same exact stuff, and she acts like she’s the only person on Earth with a baby. You don’t have room for this in your life right now. Let her make the effort if she wants to get together, and make it on your terms. That way, if she cancels, you’re not by yourself with a cranky baby at the out-of-the-way park that you don’t like.

5. The DryBar. This mom friend always looks like she’s just floated out of a salon. It is just unfair how glamorous she looks even after a grueling SoulCycle workout (which you don’t know how she finds the time or energy for). You’ve never seen her with a hair out of place or a chipped mani and she never, EVER wears flats.

How to deal: Take a cue from her once in a while, and remember that you, too, deserve to spend time on yourself. There is no secret to her look – she has no more minutes in the day than you. So maybe her child is busy chewing on her makeup brushes so she can get in those 5 extra minutes to beautify. Is that really so bad?

6. The Smug Mug. Her daughter is a precious angel, who, since the age of six months has been sitting sweetly at the restaurant and coloring in the lines. Your child acts like the high chair is covered in shards of glass and always manages to find the most breakable object on the table and hurl it to the floor. This friend starts most sentences with, “Well, what I always do is . . .”

How to deal: This friend means well, so be patient. She thinks her baby is well-behaved because of her awesome parenting skills. Just wait until when she has her second, and that one turns out to be Terror Child. She’ll realize some kids are who they are despite our best efforts and that they are not One Size Fits All. She’ll take it all back, then will ask you for advice on how you got through it.

7. The Badmouth. This mom has nothing nice to say about anyone, ever. She likes to blather on about how she is so non-judgmental, but what she really means is – she only reserves judgment from people who think and who parent exactly like her. You are sure she is also talking about you, especially on the days when you don’t make it to Mom Group.

How to deal: Lighten your friend load and let this one go. Her energy is toxic and if you are not careful, one day she’ll take your nervous giggle after a snarky remark she’s made about another mom for agreement on your part. Before you know it, she’ll be telling everyone that YOU also said that same mean comment she made about your mutual friend.

8. The Girls Night. Literally every week she’s sending out group emails titled, “Girls Niiiite!!!” and texting you emoticons of wine glasses and martinis every day leading up to the event. Yes, a girl’s night would be fun, ONCE IN A WHILE, but all the time? Whenever you do agree to go, all she does is get hammered, flirts with the waiter, and slurs about her husband “the d-bag.”

How to deal: Consider that perhaps she is dealing with some really serious shizz and could use a friend. Like, a real friend, who will listen to what’s going on. She might be trying to surround herself with distractions so she doesn’t have to face the problems at hand. If your attempts at a real connection fail, and you’re trying to decline the fourth Girl’s Night of the month, maybe it’s time to ask her to “unsubscribe” you from her email list.

9. Your New Ride or Die. She’s one of the best things that happened to you since having a baby. She’s the mom you put down on your baby’s emergency contact list because you trust her like a family member. You both plan on doing everything together on this child-rearing journey, so she better not get pregnant again without your first synchronizing your ovulation days.

How to deal: Do not take her for granted and do treat her problems as your own. Because this mama is THERE for you. Like, will walk through a rainstorm with her stroller to your apartment even though her kid hasn’t napped because you’re having a shit day. And bring you your favorite cupcake. You’ve suffered through lots of bad mom friends to find this one gem. And it was all worth it.

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14 outdoor toys your kids will want to play with beyond summer

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$30

Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!

$75

Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

$120

Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

$30

Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$100

Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40

Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121

Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.

$100

Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.

$45

Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.

$179

Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.

$100

Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$33

Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$88

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I never wanted to be a mom. It wasn't something I ever thought would happen until I fell madly in love with my husband—who knew very well he wanted children. While he was a natural at entertaining our nephews or our friends' kids, I would awkwardly try to interact with them, not really knowing what to say or do.

Our first pregnancy was a surprise, a much-wanted one but also a unicorn, "first try" kind of pregnancy. As my belly grew bigger, so did my insecurities. How do you even mom when you never saw motherhood in your future? I focused all my uncertainties on coming up with a plan for the delivery of my baby—which proved to be a terrible idea when my dreamed-of unmedicated vaginal birth turned into an emergency C-section. I couldn't even start motherhood the way I wanted, I thought. And that feeling happened again when I couldn't breastfeed and instead had to pump and bottle-feed. And once more, when all the stress from things not going my way turned into debilitating postpartum anxiety that left me not really enjoying my brand new baby.

As my baby grew, slowly so did my confidence that I could do this. When he would tumble to the ground while learning how to walk and only my hugs could calm him, I felt invincible. But on the nights he wouldn't sleep—whether because he was going through a regression, a leap, a teeth eruption or just a full moon—I would break down in tears to my husband telling him that he was a better parent than me.

Then I found out I was pregnant again, and that this time it was twins. I panicked. I really cannot do two babies at the same time. I kept repeating that to myself (and to my poor husband) at every single appointment we had because I was just terrified. He, of course, thought I could absolutely do it, and he got me through a very hard pregnancy.

When the twins were born at full term and just as big as singleton babies, I still felt inadequate, despite the monumental effort I had made to grow these healthy babies and go through a repeat C-section to make sure they were both okay. I still felt my skin crawl when they cried and thought, What if I can't calm them down? I still turned to my husband for diaper changes because I wasn't a good enough mom for twins.

My husband reminded me (and still does) that I am exactly what my babies need. That I am enough. A phrase that has now become my mantra, both in motherhood and beyond, because as my husband likes to say, I'm the queen of selling myself short on everything.

So when my babies start crying, I tell myself that I am enough to calm them down.

When my toddler has a tantrum, I remind myself that I am enough to get through to him.

When I go out with the three kids by myself and start sweating about everything that could go wrong (poop explosions times three), I remind myself that I am enough to handle it all, even with a little humor.


And then one day I found this bracelet. Initially, I thought how cheesy it'd be to wear a reminder like this on my wrist, but I bought it anyway because something about it was calling my name. I'm so glad I did because since day one I haven't stopped wearing it.

Every time I look down, there it is, shining back at me. I am enough.

I Am Enough bracelet 

SONTAKEY  I Am Enough Bracelet

May this Oath Bracelet be your reminder that you are perfect just the way you are. That you are enough for your children, you are enough for your friends & family, you are enough for everything that you do. You are enough, mama <3

$35

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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It's science: Why your baby stops crying when you stand up

A fascinating study explains why.

When your baby is crying, it feels nearly instinctual to stand up to rock, sway and soothe them. That's because standing up to calm babies is instinctual—driven by centuries of positive feedback from calmed babies, researchers have found.

"Infants under 6 months of age carried by a walking mother immediately stopped voluntary movement and crying and exhibited a rapid heart rate decrease, compared with holding by a sitting mother," say authors of a 2013 study published in Current Biology.

Even more striking: This coordinated set of actions—the mother standing and the baby calming—is observed in other mammal species, too. Using pharmacologic and genetic interventions with mice, the authors say, "We identified strikingly similar responses in mouse pups as defined by immobility and diminished ultrasonic vocalizations and heart rate."

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