I vividly remember the day I broke the news of my second pregnancy at work. I don’t really know what my boss said in response, or whether sly belly stares suddenly greeted me in the hallways. I don’t even remember the outfit that I’m sure I painstakingly prepared to tastefully accentuate the tiny bump that had formed in my mid-section. No, what I recall most about that day, now several months back, was that Kim Kardashian had just announced she was pregnant too. It was like when Farrah Fawcett died on the same day as Michael Jackson.
Since then, I — like you — have been deluged by hourly “news” of Kimye’s baby: “Pregnant Kim’s Cups Runneth Over!” “Kim Kardashian’s Pregnancy Stress Making Her Psoriasis Worse!” And of course, the breaking headliner: “Kim Kardashian Considering a Post-Pregnancy Tummy Tuck?” It’s enough to make any other pregnant gal wish she’d waited a few more months to pull the goalie.
It’s not that I crave tabloid coverage of my growing belly, or that I wish any malice toward what will surely become the highest-paid reality star baby in the universe. I just can’t help but lament that my maternity experience will always be inextricably linked with that of the rapidly expanding Kim Kardashian.
There’s something unique that happens when you get knocked up: every other pregnant person in the world is suddenly your soul sister. During my last pregnancy, Natalie Portman was gestating little Aleph, and I swear, we were totally best friends. This time around, though, my options are significantly more limited: I have Kim. Or Jessica Simpson. Or Kate Middleton. Soul sisters we are not.
I had a sliver of hope that my luck would change on April 1st, when the always-chic and stylish Mila Kunis announced she was pregnant. At last, I had a celebrity soul sister again! I could look forward to weeks of hip maternity ensembles and sophisticated nursery shopping, diligently recorded by InTouch Magazine! Alas, it was just an April Fools joke. It turns out that it was still just me and Kim.
As I neared my due date, I finally gave up on finding a celebrity best friend like my former flame Natalie Portman. I even started following Kim’s Twitter feed. Hey, we were both eating for two, we both have rap superstar baby-daddies, and we’ve both been on Dancing with the Stars. Ok, not entirely true. I’ve never been on Dancing with the Stars.
It's easier to have some pregnancy perspective the second time around, when you've already been through the ups-and-downs of mommyhood. I now know that the superficial things just don’t count. No matter what our tastes, styles or public personas may suggest, as mamas and mamas-to-be, Kim and I have more in common with each other than we’ve got differences....even when our differences include whether or not a pregnant woman should ever wear peplum. Having (and raising!) a baby is hard work; let’s all stop being so judgey and help each other out!
So Kim, should you ever need a playdate, feel free to give me a call. If nothing else, I can tell your future daughter all about the day you came out of the closet with your pregnancy. And that makes me your soul sister for life.