A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood

It’s often the second or third question on any early awkward mommy date: “So, are you going back?” i.e.: Are you worth investing in? Or are you going to disappear the second that the clock strikes 12 weeks?

That question doesn’t have to be as intimidatingly black and white as it may seem--mommies are, after all, officially recognized as the world’s most resourceful species. There are many work gradients in between “all” (head back to work and relish the quiet at your desk--there’s a lot to be said for that), and “nothing” (100% mommy all the time, don’t miss a smile…or a tantrum--which there’s a lot to be said for too.)

Be creative and inventive. A few of the modern evolutions of working mommy life might not be so readily apparent but are absolutely worth pursuing. Here are five.

Your first line of defense:

1) Extend your maternity leave. Postpone reality--and any major decision-making--past 12 weeks. The world looks very different at four or five months than it does at three months. (For one thing, you may actually be getting some sleep.)

How to plan: Ask for the most time possible upfront. A mother who calls to ask to return a few weeks early starts off post-baby work life on a much better foot than one who calls begging for more time at the last moment. Once you’ve verified your company’s official maternity leave policy, explore other options. Can you extend it with sick, personal or vacation days? If it’s financially feasible on your end, is unpaid leave an option? Plan for the most, and cut back later.

2) Ease back in. Many mothers find the return to work less daunting if they can re-enter at least somewhat gradually. At a minimum, try to come back on a Wednesday or Thursday so that the weekend with your baby doesn’t feel quite so far away. Or arrange to work two or three days a week for the last month of your maternity leave.

How to plan: Schedule your return date accordingly, and talk to HR or your boss about a part-time ramp-up period (either at a decreased percentage of pay or by spreading out your remaining days of maternity leave).

3) Find flexibility at your current job. This is the easiest place to seek a flexible arrangement of some sort. You have goodwill and knowledge built up, and the cost of replacing you is much higher than the cost of letting you work an 80% schedule or at home on Tuesdays. In other words, you’re Beyoncé and the rose-scented candles in your dressing room are yours for the asking.

How to plan: No one will know you want those roses if you don’t ask. Most mothers who have been through it recommend asking during your maternity leave, once you have a sense of what you want, but before you return to work. Others highlight making sure that you proactively schedule a trial period or regular check-ins with your boss from the get-go to ensure that the arrangement is working on both sides.

Other options:

4) Look for a new job with an element of flexibility. You work at Bank of Overachievers with long hours and lots of face time, and you just don’t see the flexibility thing happening. The stories of Fridays from home and job-sharing from your friends at Bank of Highly Rational People are just too tempting. It’s time to find something else that suits you a bit more now that you’re a mom.

How to plan: Be wary of the grass being greener on the other side. Your friends may only have those great arrangements because of the goodwill that they built up, and you will be putting in plenty of face time at any new place at the start, regardless of the culture. Head back to your old job and give the whole thing a bit of rational thought from your desk. If it still seems to make sense, MomCorps or MayBrooks can be great resources--these companies help connect moms with jobs that have some flexibility. It’s much easier to interview for something that’s clearly understood to be flexible upfront than it is to ask for flexibility when you’re accepting a job offer.

5) Freelance, consult or take on project work. This is the holy grail for many mothers. Work when you want to. Make it to that morning music class, and head downtown for a meeting in the afternoon. Work at night after bedtime. Don’t accept any projects in August so you can lie on the beach with your baby and rub Butt Paste on sandy diaper rashes. Stay just engaged enough in the workforce that fully on-ramping when Tinkerbell heads off to kindergarten isn’t an issue. There are some downsides, however, that any mother excited to whip out her MacBook at the local Starbucks should be well aware of. Half of the job of any freelancer is looking for the next job. This becomes less of an issue over time as you develop a stream of recurring clients, but networking to find clients early on is time-consuming, and often not at the best times for a new mom (industry happy hours at 5pm anyone?).

How to plan: Again, the devil you know--would your old company be interested in using you in a project-based or consulting capacity? If you’ve been in a client service business, is there an opportunity to work directly for some former clients? (And--a shameless plug--consider Prokanga, which does the time-consuming networking for you, and helps connect qualified mothers with project work.)

The most important thing to remember: there is no right answer. ‘Leaning in’ isn’t for everyone…and neither is ‘reclining’. Explore a few options, and find what works for you. Then tune out the peanut gallery.

Image Source.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

Subscribe to get inspiration and super helpful ideas to rock your #momlife. Motherhood looks amazing on you.

Already a subscriber? Log in here.

Baby stuff comes in such cute prints these days. Gone are the days when everything was pink and blue and covered in ducks or teddy bears. Today's baby gear features stylish prints that appeal to mom.

That's why it's totally understandable how a mama could mistake a car seat cover for a cute midi skirt. It happened to Lori Farrell, and when she shared her mishap on Facebook she went viral before she was even home from work. Fellow moms can totally see the humor in Farrell's mishap, and thankfully, so can she.

As for how a car seat cover could be mistaken for a skirt—it's pretty simple, Farrell tells Motherly.

"A friend of mine had given me a huge lot of baby stuff, from clothes to baby carriers to a rocker and blankets and when I pulled it out I was not sure what it was," she explains. "I debated it but washed it anyway then decided because of the way it pulled on the side it must be a maternity skirt."

Farrell still wasn't 100% sure if she was right by the time she headed out the door to work, but she rocked the ambiguous attire anyway.

"When I got to work I googled the brand and realized not only do they not sell clothing but it was a car seat cover."

The brand, Itzy Ritzy, finds the whole thing pretty funny too, sharing Farell's viral moment to its official Instagram.

It may be a car seat cover, but that print looks really good on this mama.

And if you want to copy Farell's style, the Itzy Ritzy 4-in-1 Nursing Cover, Car Seat Cover, Shopping Cart Cover and Infinity Scarf (and skirt!) is available on Amazon for $24.94.

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy.You've got this.

You might also like:

Daycare for infants is expensive across the country, and California has one of the worst states for parents seeking care for a baby. Putting an infant in daycare in California costs $2,914 more than in-state tuition for four years of college, according to the Economic Policy Institute.

Paying north of $1,000 for daycare each month is an incredible burden, especially on single-parent families. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services defines affordable childcare as costing no more than 10% of a family's income—by that definition, less than 29% of families in California can afford infant care. Some single parents spend half their income on day care. It is an incredible burden on working parents.

But that burden may soon get lighter. CBS Sacramento reports California may put between $25 and $35 million into child care programs to make day care more affordable for parents with kids under 3 years old.

Assembly Bill 452, introduced this week, could see $10 million dollars funneled into Early Head Start (which currently gets no money from the state but does get federal funding) and tens of millions more would be spent on childcare for kids under three.

The bill seeks to rectify a broken childcare system. Right now, only about 14% of eligible infants and toddlers are enrolled in subsidized programs in California, and in 2017, only 7% of eligible children younger than three years of age accessed Early Head Start.

An influx of between $25 to $35 million dollars could see more spaces open up for kids under three, as Bill 452, if passed, would see the creation of "grants to develop childcare facilities that serve children from birth to three years of age."

This piece of proposed legislation comes weeks after California's governor announced an ambitious plan for paid parental leave, and as another bill, AB 123, seeks to strengthen the state's pre-kindergarten program.

Right now, it is difficult for some working parents to make a life in California, but by investing in families, the state's lawmakers could change that and change California's future for the better.

You might also like:

When a mama gets married, in most cases she wants her children to be part of her big day. Photographers are used to hearing bride-to-be moms request lots of pictures of their big day, but when wedding photographer Laura Schaefer of Fire and Gold Photography heard her client Dalton Mort planned to wear her 2-year-old daughter Ellora instead of a veil, she was thrilled.

A fellow mama who understands the benefits of baby-wearing, Schaefer was keen to capture the photos Mort requested. "When I asked Dalton about what some of her 'must get' shots would be for her wedding, she specifically asked for ones of her wearing Ellie, kneeling and praying in the church before the tabernacle," Schaefer tells Motherly.

She got those shots and so many more, and now Mort's toddler-wearing wedding day pics are going viral.

"Dalton wore Ellie down the aisle and nursed her to sleep during the readings," Schaefer wrote on her blog, explaining that Ellie then slept through the whole wedding mass.

"As a fellow mother of an active toddler, this is a HUGE win! Dalton told me after that she was SO grateful that Ellie slept the whole time because she was able to focus and really pray through the Mass," Schaefer explains.

Dalton was able to concentrate on her wedding day because she made her baby girl a part of it (and that obviously tired Ellie right out).

Ellie was part of the commitment and family Dalton if forging with her husband, Jimmy Joe. "There is no better behaved toddler than a sleeping toddler, and she was still involved, even though I ended up unwrapping her to nurse her. I held her in my arms while my husband and I said our vows. It was really special for us," Dalton told POPSUGAR.

This is a wedding trend we are totally here for!

Congrats to Dalton and Jimmy Joe (and to Ellie)! 🎉

You might also like:


The internet is freaking out about how Peppa Pig is changing the way toddlers speak, but parents don't need to be too worried.

As Romper first reported, plenty of American parents have noticed that preschoolers are picking up a bit of a British accent thanks to Peppa. Romper's Janet Manley calls it "the Peppa effect," noting that her daughter started calling her "Mummy" after an in-flight Peppa marathon.


Plenty of other parents report sharing Manley's experience, but the British accent is not likely to stick, experts say.

Toronto-based speech and language pathologist Melissa James says this isn't a new thing—kids have always been testing out the accents they hear on TV and in the real world, long before Peppa oinked her way into our Netflix queues.

"Kids have this amazing ability to pick up language," James told Global News. "Their brains are ripe for the learning of language and it's a special window of opportunity that adults don't possess."

Global News reports that back in the day there were concerns about Dora The Explorer potentially teaching kids Spanish words before the kids had learned the English counterparts, and over in the U.K., parents have noticed British babies picking up American accents from TV, too.

But it's not a bad thing, James explains. When an American adult hears "Mummy" their brain translates it to "Mommy," but little kids don't yet make as concrete a connection. "When a child, two, three or four, is watching a show with a British accent and hears [words] for the first time, they are mapping out the speech and sound for that word in the British way."

So if your baby is oinking at you, calling you "Mummy" or testing out a new pronunciation of "toh-mah-toe," know that this is totally natural, and they're not going to end up with a life-long British pig accent.

As Dr, Susannah Levi, associate professor of communicative sciences and disorders at New York University, tells The Guardian, "it's really unlikely that they'd be acquiring an entire second dialect from just watching a TV show."

It sure is cute though.

You might also like:

Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our  Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.