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Before conceiving, I thought I’d be one of those earth-mother types who would instantly start radiating from the inside out. From what the media (and even more-so social media) depicts about pregnant women, I was under the impression (perhaps delusional?) that this would be me from the get-go too. I had of course heard about the early cliche pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness, etc., however the greater emphasis is usually put on the glorified parts. Maybe for some that radiating actually happens out of the gate. But for most women, the reality of the first trimester looks nothing like this at all. I mean not even a slight resemblance.

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to have the flu for 2 months straight? Probably not, because that would be the WORST THING EVER! Well this was my warm welcome into pregnancy. There were consecutive days when I could barely leave the couch, and pajamas became my standing uniform. I give boatloads of credit to women who work demanding 9-5,6,7? jobs and somehow get their asses to work every day, dressed in appropriate attire, makeup in check. And the real superheros in this universe are women who work these rigid schedules, and already have a kid(s) to take care of at home.

In those early days when I felt like the only person in the world who was struggling. But that's not true. So here's 10 of the less glorified parts of pregnancy that may be part of your first-trimester reality.

1. Fatigue. Think about the most tired you’ve ever been in your life. Now multiply it by 1,000 and it’s still not even close to how tired you will be in your first trimester. While doctors and friends assure you that this will pass come your second trimester, it doesn’t matter because you’re tired today and there is nothing you can do about it. My recommendations include laying low, keeping plans very loose, accepting that you may need to cancel commitments, and resting as much as you can. You will never regain the time back to nurture your body the way it needs during a pregnancy so take advantage of the moments you have to relax. And don’t feel bad about it either. You are creating human life, and the first trimester is the most critical time for development. Take the time you need.

2. Nausea. Fortunately, I never threw up. But I constantly felt like I could. Low-grade nausea plagued me daily. There were even times when I had to bypass taking my prenatal vitamins because I would gag when I tried. There really isn’t any way around being nauseous in the early days when your hormones are on the rise, but there is one thing that can help: eat. Keeping your stomach full (not overly so) can take the edge off and ensure your blood sugar stays intact. My favorite on-the-go snacks included:

● Apples

● Oranges

● Cucumber (w/ a little salt)

● Gluten Free Pretzels

Puffins Gluten Free Cereal

● Kind Healthy Grain Bars

● Lara Bars

3. Dizziness. When pregnant, your cardiovascular system is undergoing traumatic changes. The amount of blood in your body increases by 40-45 percent, and your heart rate goes up, pumping more blood which the majority of goes to the baby. This can slow the return of blood to you. As a result, your blood pressure goes down and there is less flowing to your brain, which causes the dizziness. Sit down if you’re feeling faint and put your head between legs. And if you you are at home, lie down on your left side. This helps move the blood back to your heart. Keep moving to maintain healthy circulation. Low blood sugar could also be another reason for the dizziness, so make sure to eat regularly and bring snacks when on the go. Stay hydrated by carrying around a water bottle (I use this one). Exercise is always important for maintaining healthy circulation.

4. Shortness of Breath. I’m not in good shape, however I don’t usually get out of breath when let’s say, I’m making the bed! Even little activities actually knocked the wind out of me during my first trimester. According to BabyCenter, “ An increase in hormones, particularly progesterone, directly affects your lungs and stimulates the respiratory center in your brain. And while the number of breaths you take per minute actually changes very little during pregnancy, the amount of air you inhale and exhale with each breath increases significantly.” I can’t express how much you need to take it easy (especially if you’re working out) and in the moments where you’re feeling a lack of air - pause and take deep inhales and exhales (inhale - count to 5 - exhale - count to 5). Fill your body up with as much oxygen as possible and take a moment to let it circulate. The shortness of breath only increases into your second trimester while your bump puts more pressure on your diaphragm, so make sure to breathe deep.

5. Headaches. Some women experience what I call a “pregnancy headache,” likely caused by the changing hormones and increase in bloodflow. Although most doctors say Tylenol is fine (contact yours first before taking anything), I steered clear of medication because of the excess I had to take during my IVF process. If you are not taking medication and you get a pregnancy headache, lay down, close your eyes and go to bed! Drink a ton of water, and if the pain is that great, put an ice-pack or bag of frozen peas on your head. A massage/tickle from your partner doesn’t hurt either. It helps the release of endorphins which causes euphoria and pleasure, and can help you relax. Another key thing to stay aware of is what you are eating because food/caffeine can trigger headaches too. Keeping a food diary will help track potential causes. Check out The Mayo Clinic, which has a bunch of recommendations for avoiding headaches all together.

6. Emotional/Depression/Anxiety. This past year was full of ups and downs for me, especially since the process of conceiving included fertility treatments. When I finally found out I was pregnant, I thought for sure I’d be over the moon and all of my sadness, frustration and defeat would disappear. WRONG! Pregnancy takes your hormones on a roller coaster ride and if you’re an already sensitive person (like me), expect it to be supersonic. Especially in your first trimester. It also doesn’t help when you perpetually don’t feel well, and that could depress anyone. Being pregnant is also scary! The plan to have a baby and the reality of being pregnant are two completely different things. It can bring up tons of emotions which lead to anxious and/or depressing thoughts and this is all very normal. Know that you are not alone, and like I mentioned, continue to remind yourself that everything you are feeling is natural. Unfortunately, 33% of women do face clinical depression/anxiety during pregnancy, and if you think this may be you, there are ways to seek help.

7. Hunger. If there was a theme song playing throughout my first trimester, it would be “Hungry Like the Wolf”, because that is exactly how I felt. I pretty much had to eat every 1-2 hours and if I didn’t get something in my stomach before that window of time, I’d start to feel faint, nauseous and dizzy. Before getting pregnant, I imagined my diet to consist of tons of veggies and fruits, lean meats, and fish (per recommended amount), but you can throw that all out the window in your first trimester. I ate what I craved, and that’s it -- tons of carbs, minimal veggies, a little more sugar than I had hoped, ginger ale (regular, not diet), surprisingly red meat, and (luckily) oranges. I recommend keeping food handy. Pack snacks in your bag and always have something to nibble on in case you are not home and reach the witching hour before sh*t hits the fan.

8. Thirst. Parched as if you’ve been stuck in the sahara for a week, yes, that is how thirsty you will be in your first trimester. Staying hydrated is obviously important, so keep a water bottle handy so you can constantly quench your thirst. While water is not very exciting when you’re pregnant and craving anything from macaroni and cheese to pizza (or maybe that’s just me), I add lemon to my water for flavor. And club soda is a solid alternative too.

9. Sense of Smell. A heightened sense of smell could possibly have been one of the worst symptoms I faced, caused by the increase in estrogen. Before I got pregnant, I started to make my own cocoa body butter, and ordered so much cocoa/shea butter and oils that it now takes up an entire bottom row of a cabinet in the kitchen. I hooked my wife Dina onto it too. Cocoa butter has a very distinct smell, especially if you don’t buy it with chemicals or fragrance. And this is the smell that came back to haunt me once I conceived. Not only did I smell it constantly because Dina wore it, but I smell it every time I open the kitchen cabinet. I now have over $150 worth of ingredients to lotion up a small army, yet I cannot deal with even the slightest whiff. Unfortunately, it is difficult to escape smells, and no matter where you go or what you do, you will be faced with breathing in something that will make you want to run for the toilet to vomit. Something I read (which I didn’t do, but is genius) is carrying around a lemon so that in the event that you smell something that turns your stomach, you can whip it out and sniff it as a distraction.

10. It’s Already about Baby. If you think you’re going to spend the next 9.5 months getting your sleep, having dinner with friends and filling up your social calendar before your baby is born, you are sorely mistaken. From the moment the sperm meets the egg, and your magical being is conceived, your baby will be the main priority in your life. That means lots of sleep, downtime, an adjusted diet, no booze, minimum caffeine and a whole lot of energy spent nurturing the little one inside. Things change from the moment the seed is planted.

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We spend a lot of time prepping for the arrival of a baby. But when it comes to the arrival of our breast milk (and all the massive adjustments that come with it), it's easy to be caught off guard. Stocking up on a few breastfeeding essentials can make the transition to breastfeeding a lot less stressful, which means more time and energy focusing on what's most important: Your recovery and your brand new baby.

Here are the essential breastfeeding tools you'll need, mama:

1. For covering up: A cute nursing cover

First and foremost, please know that all 50 states in the United States have laws that allow women to breastfeed in public. You do not have to cover yourself if you don't want to—and many mamas choose not to—and we are all for it.

That said, if you do anticipate wanting to take a more modest approach to breastfeeding, a nursing cover is a must. You will find an array of styles to choose from, but we love an infinity scarf, like the LK Baby Infinity Nursing Scarf Nursing Cover. You'll be able to wear the nursing cover instead of stuffing it in your already brimming diaper bag—and it's nice to have it right there when the baby is ready to eat.

Also, in the inevitable event that your baby spits-up on you or you leak some milk through your shirt, having a quick and stylish way to cover up is a total #momwin.

2. For getting comfortable: A cozy glider

Having a comfy spot to nurse can make a huge difference. Bonus points if that comfy place totally brings a room together, like the Delta Children Paris Upholstered Glider!

Get your cozy space ready to go, and when your baby is here, you can retreat from the world and just nurse, bond, and love.

3. For unmatched support: A wire-free nursing bra

It may take trying on several brands to find the perfect match, but finding a nursing bra that you love is 100% worth the effort. Your breasts will be changing and working in ways that are hard to imagine. An excellent supportive bra will make this so much more comfortable.

It is crucial to choose a wireless bra for the first weeks of nursing since underwire can increase the risk of clogged ducts (ouch).The Playtex Maternity Shaping Foam Wirefree Nursing Bra is an awesome pick for this reason, and because it is designed to flex and fit your breasts as they go through all those changes.

4. For maximum hydration: A large reusable water bottle

Nothing can prepare you for the intense thirst that hits when breastfeeding. Quench that thirst (and help keep your milk supply up in the process) by always having a water bottle with a straw nearby, like this Exquis Large Outdoor Water Bottle.

5. For feeding convenience: A supportive nursing tank

Experts recommend that during the first weeks of your baby's life, you breastfeed on-demand, meaning that any time your tiny boss demands milk, you feed them. This will help establish your milk supply and get everything off to a good start.

What does this mean for your life? You will be breastfeeding A LOT. Nursing tanks, like the Loving Moments by Leading Lady, make this so much easier. They have built-in support to keep you comfy, and you can totally wear them around the house, or even out and about. When your baby wants to eat, you'll be able to quickly "pop out" a breast and feed them.

6. For pain prevention: A quality nipple ointment

Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt, but the truth is those first days can be uncomfortable. Your nipples will likely feel raw as they adjust to their new job. This will get better! But until it does, nipple ointment is amazing.

My favorite is the Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter. We love that it's organic, and it is oh-so-soothing on your hard-at-work nipples.

Psst: If it actually hurts when your baby latches on, something may be up, so call your provider or a lactation consultant for help.

7. For uncomfortable moments: A dual breast therapy pack

As your breasts adjust to their new role, you may experience a few discomforts—applying warmth or cold can help make them feel so much better. The Lansinoh TheraPearl 3-in-1 Breast Therapy Pack is awesome because you can microwave the pads or put them in the freezer, giving you a lot of options when your breasts need some TLC.

Again, if you have any concerns about something being wrong (pain, a bump that may be red or hot, fever, or anything else), call a professional right away.

8. For inevitable leaks: An absorbing breast pad

In today's episode of, "Oh come on, really?" you are going to leak breastmilk. Now, this is entirely natural and you are certainly not required to do anything about this. Still, many moms choose to wear breast pads in their bras to avoid leaking through to their shirts.

You can go the convenient and disposable route with Lansinoh Disposable Stay Dry Nursing Pads, or for a more environmentally friendly option, you can choose washable pads, like these Organic Bamboo Nursing Breast Pads.

9. For flexibility: A breast pump

Many women find that a breast pump becomes one of their most essential mom-tools. The ability to provide breast milk when you are away from your baby (and relieve uncomfortable engorged breasts) will add so much flexibility into your new-mom life.

For quick trips out and super-easy in-your-bag transport, opt for a manual pump like the Lansinoh Manual Breast Pump .

If you will be away from your baby for longer periods of time (traveling or working outside the home, for example) an electric pump is your most efficient bet. The Medela Pump In Style Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump is a classic go-to that will absolutely get the job done, and then some.

10. For quality storage: Breast milk bags

Once you pump your liquid gold, aka breast milk, you'll need a place to store it. The Kiinde Twist Pouches allow you to pump directly into the bags which means one less step (and way less to clean).

11. For keeping cool: A freezer bag

Transport your pumped milk back home to your baby safely in a cooler like the Mommy Knows Best Breast Milk Baby Bottle Cooler Bag. Remember to put the milk in a fridge or freezer as soon as you can to optimize how long it stays usable for.

12. For continued nourishment: Bottles

Nothing beats the peace of mind you get when you know that your baby is being well-taken of care—and well fed—until you can be together again. The Philips Avent Natural Baby Bottle Newborn Starter Gift Set is a fan favorite (mama and baby fans alike).

This article is sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.

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A viral video about car seat safety has parents everywhere cracking up and humming Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

"I like safe kids and I cannot lie," raps Norman Regional Health System pediatric hospitalist Dr. Kate Cook (after prefacing her music video with an apology to her children."I'm a doctor tryin' warn you that recs have changed," she continues.

Dr. Cook's rap video is all about the importance of keeping babies facing backward. It's aptly called "Babies Face Back," and uses humor and parody to drive home car seat recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

"Switching from rear-facing to forward-facing is a milestone many parents can't wait to reach," Dr. Cook said in a news release about her hilarious video. "But this is one area where you want to delay the transition as long as possible because each one actually reduces the protection to the child."

Last summer the AAP updated its official stance on car seat safety to be more in line with what so many parents were already doing and recommended that kids stay rear-facing for as long as possible. But with so many things to keep track of in life, it is understandable that some parents still don't know about the change. Dr. Cook wants to change that with some cringe-worthy rapping.

The AAP recommends:

  • Babies and toddlers should ride in a rear-facing car safety seat as long as possible, until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their seat.
  • Once they are facing forward, children should use a forward-facing car safety seat with a harness for as long as possible. Many seats are good up to 65 pounds.
  • When children outgrow their car seat they should use a belt-positioning booster seat until the vehicle's lap and shoulder seat belt fits properly, between 8 and 12 years old.

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[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

Suicide rates for girls and women in the United States have increased 50% since 2000, according to the CDC and new research indicates a growing number of pregnant and postpartum women are dying by suicide and overdose. Suicide rates for boys and men are up, too.

It's clear there is a mental health crisis in America and it is robbing children of their mothers and mothers of their children.

Medical professionals urge people to get help early, but sometimes getting help is not so simple. For many Americans, the life preserver that is mental health care is out of reach when they are drowning.

Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg just released a plan he hopes could change that and says the neglect of mental health in the United States must end. "Our plan breaks down the barriers around mental health and builds up a sense of belonging that will help millions of suffering Americans heal," says Buttigieg.

He thinks he can "prevent 1 million deaths of despair by 2028" by giving Americans more access to mental health and addictions services.

In a country where giving birth can put a mother in debt, it's not surprising that while as many as 1 in 5 new moms suffers from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, more than half of new moms who need mental health treatment don't get it. Stigma, childcare and of course costs are factors in why women aren't seeking help when they are struggling.

Buttigieg's plan is interesting because it could remove some of these barriers. He wants to make mental health care more affordable by ensuring everyone has comprehensive coverage for mental health care and by ensuring that everyone can access a free yearly mental health check-up.

That could make getting help more affordable for some moms, and by increasing reimbursement rates for mental health care delivered through telehealth, this plan could help moms get face time with a medical professional without having to deal with finding childcare first.

Estimates from new research suggest that in some parts of America as many as 14% or 30% of maternal deaths are caused by addiction or suicide. Buttigieg's plan aims to reduce those estimates by fighting the addiction and opioid crisis and increasing access to mental health services in underserved communities and for people of color. He also wants to reduce the stigma and increase support for the next generation by requiring "every school across the country to teach Mental Health First Aid courses."

These are lofty goals with a lofty price tag. It would cost about $300 billion to do what Buttigieg sets out in his plan and the specifics of how the plan would be funded aren't yet known. Neither is how voters will react to this 18-page plan and whether it will help Buttigieg stand out in a crowded field of Democratic candidates.

What we do know is that right now, America is talking about mental health and whether or not that benefits Buttigieg's campaign it will certainly benefit America.

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[Editor's Note: Welcome to It's Science, a Motherly column focusing on evidence-based explanations for the important moments, milestones, and phenomena of motherhood. Because it's not just you—#itsscience.]

If you breastfeed, you know just how magical (and trying) it is, but it has numerous benefits for mama and baby. It is known to reduce the likelihood of developing cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis, and cuts the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by half.

If this wasn't powerful enough, scientists have discovered that babies who are fed breast milk have a stomach pH that promotes the formation of HAMLET (Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumor cells). HAMLET was discovered by chance when researchers were studying the antibacterial properties of breast milk. This is a combination of proteins and lipids found in breast milk that can work together to kill cancer cells, causing them to pull away from healthy cells, shrink and die, leaving the healthy cells unaffected.

According to researchers at Lund University in Sweden, this mechanism may contribute to the protective effect breast milk has against pediatric tumors and leukemia, which accounts for about 30% of all childhood cancer. Other researchers analyzed 18 different studies, finding that "14% to 19% of all childhood leukemia cases may be prevented by breastfeeding for six months or more."

And recently, doctors in Sweden collaborated with scientists in Prague to find yet another amazing benefit to breast milk. Their research demonstrated that a certain milk sugar called Alpha1H, found only in breast milk, helps in the production of lactose and can transform into a different form that helps break up tumors into microscopic fragments in the body.

Patients who were given a drug based on this milk sugar, rather than a placebo, passed whole tumor fragments in their urine. And there is more laboratory evidence to support that the drug can kill more than 40 different types of cancer cells in animal trials, including brain tumors and colon cancer. These results are inspiring scientists to continue to explore HAMLET as a novel approach to tumor therapy and make Alpha1H available to cancer patients.

Bottom line: If you choose to breastfeed, the breast milk your baby gets from your hard work can be worth every drop of effort.

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