How to Find Your Parenting Community

The YouTube stars behind Baby Bailey Mama Drama open up about gay parenting.

How to Find Your Parenting Community
*We know it can be hard to get out the door when you’re a new mom. So we’ve partnered with Munchkin to share real stories & strategies from real moms that will help motivate you to get out the door and get into your mom flow. Below, Katie and Christina of Baby Bailey Mama Drama share how getting out the door has helped them find support as gay parents. We were nervous attending our first parenting class because we didn’t know what other parents would think of us as a gay couple. Then we realized that it really doesn’t matter what others think. If they don’t support our life and family, then we weren’t meant to be friends. It turned out that we live in a community that is very inclusive. We took parenting classes following the births of both of our girls, and we met the most amazing group of women. The group still meets at least a couple times a month. We try to do fun activities like swimming, going on nature walks, ocean trips, or playing in the river. We are lucky to be surrounded by many families who are open and accepting. We don’t have any close friends who are gay parents. We wish we did, but it just hasn’t happened yet. Our gay friends just haven’t had kids yet. Our straight-parent friends are all allies of the gay community, though, and very supportive of our family. Many of these friends went through IVF, so we have that in common and we are able to relate. But, as gay parents, San Francisco is a special place to us. We loved spending days together here before children, and now, it’s so fun to experience it with them. There is always something new to do here, and each visit is different. One day we might go to a museum, and the next we might go to the beach, or take a boat ride. This year was the first time taking the kids to Pride. Our girls are very young, so they probably didn’t understand much about it, except that there was great music for dancing! We mostly went to show our support of our gay community and celebrate our family. We plan to continue to go as the girls grow to show them this wonderfully supportive community. Getting out with our little ones -- to San Francisco or on another adventure -- is so important to us. We love experiencing moments through our daughters’ eyes. And it’s important for our own sanity! Before kids, we traveled almost every weekend. We promised ourselves we would still do this when we have a family. It can be easy to fall into a routine at home, but it’s so important to us to get out and experience something outside of our home. We have found that getting out of the house with two kids really isn’t as difficult as we thought. I think we struggled more with our first. It’s all about practice! It would take was forever to get out of the house when Kennedy was a baby, now we wonder what we were doing with all that time? We also no longer take half of the house with us, so that helps. We know our littles ones may not remember these adventures, but that doesn’t stop us. And even if they don’t remember just yet, they will at least have great photos! It’s scary going somewhere new with a baby in tow, and you may feel out of your comfortable zone. The Bay Area is definitely a unique place, and more inclusive and diverse than others. We know it’s not like this everywhere, but that doesn’t mean a gay parent can’t find the community they need. Our advice to other gay parents would be to seek out gay groups or parenting groups. We have lived in small towns in the past, and these group are still present, you just have to search a little harder for them. If they really aren’t there, perhaps you can start one? Chances are, there are others like you out there in the community, seeking the same sense of belonging. We have also met amazing friends online through YouTube, Instagram, and our online clothing company. We have an entire community around the world that shares in our same experiences as gay parents. This online community has been a great support system for the past several years. If you’re a new parent, gay or otherwise, and you’re feeling isolated, just take that first step and get out the door. The first step is the hardest, but after you do it once, you won’t regret it. Christina and Katie’s Must-Haves for Getting out the Door: 1. Our Brica “Out and About” trunk organizer is so useful. It’s like having the entire diaper changing station ready in the back of the car, which is where we do all our changes on-the-go. 2. Our toddler also wants a drink in her cup holder, and she loves the Munchkin Stainless Steel 360 Miracle Cup. She prefers to drink from a regular cup now, and this one is perfect because it’s like drinking from a cup, but without the spills! 3. We never leave home without a baby carrier. We love babywearing and we always have our kids in carriers -- even our toddler. They are so useful when traveling because sometimes the new environments can be too stimulating for them, so cuddling up safe and secure next to their parent is what they need. Photography by Tara Layman.  


Munchkin Latch Bottle

munchkin cup Munchkin Miracle Stainless Steel 360 Sippy Cup

Brica Out-N-About Collapsible Trunk Organizer & Diaper Changing Station

Munchkin SnackCatch & Sip 2-in-1 Snack Catcher

Munchkin Snack Plus Stainless Steel Snack Catcher

Time-saving formula tips our editors swear by

Less time making bottles, more time snuggling.

As a new parent, it can feel like feeding your baby is a full-time job—with a very demanding nightshift. Add in the additional steps it takes to prepare a bottle of formula and, well… we don't blame you if you're eager to save some time when you can. After all, that means more time for snuggling your baby or practicing your own well-deserved self-care.

Here's the upside: Many, many formula-feeding mamas before you have experienced the same thing, and they've developed some excellent tricks that can help you mix up a bottle in record time. Here are the best time-saving formula tips from editors here at Motherly.

1. Use room temperature water

The top suggestion that came up time and time again was to introduce bottles with room temperature water from the beginning. That way, you can make a bottle whenever you need it without worrying about warming up water—which is a total lifesaver when you have to make a bottle on the go or in the middle of the night.

2. Buy online to save shopping time

You'll need a lot of formula throughout the first year and beyond—so finding a brand like Comforts, which offers high-quality infant formula at lower prices, will help you save a substantial amount of money. Not to mention, you can order online or find the formula on shelves during your standard shopping trip—and that'll save you so much time and effort as well.

3. Pre-measure nighttime bottles

The middle of the night is the last time you'll want to spend precious minutes mixing up a bottle. Instead, our editors suggest measuring out the correct amount of powder formula into a bottle and putting the necessary portion of water on your bedside table. That way, all you have to do is roll over and combine the water and formula in the bottle before feeding your baby. Sounds so much better than hiking all the way to the kitchen and back at 3 am, right?

4. Divide serving sizes for outings

Before leaving the house with your baby, divvy up any portions of formula and water that you may need during your outing. Then, when your baby is hungry, just combine the pre-measured water and powder serving in the bottle. Our editors confirm this is much easier than trying to portion out the right amount of water or formula while riding in the car.

5. Memorize the mental math

Soon enough, you'll be able to prepare a bottle in your sleep. But, especially in the beginning or when increasing your baby's serving, the mental math can take a bit of time. If #mombrain makes it tough to commit the measurements to memory, write up a cheat sheet for yourself or anyone else who will prepare your baby's bottle.

6. Warm up chilled formula with water

If you're the savvy kind of mom who prepares and refrigerates bottles for the day in advance, you'll probably want to bring it up to room temperature before serving. Rather than purchase a bottle warmer, our editors say the old-fashioned method works incredibly well: Just plunge the sealed bottle in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes and—voila!—it's ready to serve.

Another great tip? Shop the Comforts line on to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices. Or, follow @comfortsforbaby for more information!

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Our Partners

14 outdoor toys your kids will want to play with beyond summer

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.


Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!


Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.


Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.


Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.


Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.


Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.


Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.


Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.


Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.


Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.


Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.


Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.


Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.


We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


It's science: Why your baby stops crying when you stand up

A fascinating study explains why.

When your baby is crying, it feels nearly instinctual to stand up to rock, sway and soothe them. That's because standing up to calm babies is instinctual—driven by centuries of positive feedback from calmed babies, researchers have found.

"Infants under 6 months of age carried by a walking mother immediately stopped voluntary movement and crying and exhibited a rapid heart rate decrease, compared with holding by a sitting mother," say authors of a 2013 study published in Current Biology.

Even more striking: This coordinated set of actions—the mother standing and the baby calming—is observed in other mammal species, too. Using pharmacologic and genetic interventions with mice, the authors say, "We identified strikingly similar responses in mouse pups as defined by immobility and diminished ultrasonic vocalizations and heart rate."

Keep reading Show less