How to Have Sex when You’re Trying to Get Pregnant

5 tips on making the most of your sex from a fertility expert

How to Have Sex when You’re Trying to Get Pregnant

Ok, so if you’re over here reading Well Rounded NY, we can pretty much assume you know about the birds and bees, right? But just because sex can equal a baby doesn’t mean it always does. In fact, lots of us probably spent lots of years trying to make sure that it didn’t.

So now that you want that sex to equal a baby, how can you make it happen? Yes, there’s actually a strategy to it. Beyond, you know...just doing it. Below, fertility expert Angela Le, founder of Fifth Avenue Fertility Wellness, gives us 5 tips on how to have sex when you’re trying to get pregnant.

1. Detox your body. Avoid excessive alcohol and eliminate cigarette smoking all together. A growing number of research has linked excessive alcohol consumption with decreased fertility. Alcohol can impact hormone levels which may interfere with implantation. Drinking in moderation will unlikely affect your fertility. Cigarette smoking should be completely avoided. It can damage sperm and egg quality, interfere with implantation, as well as prematurely causing the ovaries to age.

2. Timing is everything. Make sure you are having sex during the fertile window that is the 6 days that end on the day of ovulation which usually occurs 14 days before the menstrual cycle. You can use an ovulation predictor kit, basal temperature charting and/or apps like iPeriod to determine fertile window. I would encourage couples to have frequent sex during this window. Every other day is sufficient, however if you are in the mood for more sex then definitely have it.

3. Lube up. Some lubricants may impact sperm function. This 2014 study showed that some lubricants could damage sperm motility. If you need a lubricant I would suggest a fertility friendly one, such as Yes Baby lubricant or Pre-Seed.

4. Position yourself. While there are no scientific studies regarding best positions for baby making, missionary (man on top) is generally considered the best position to conceive.

5. Stay put postcoital. I recommend laying with a small pillow under your hips for 10 to 15 minutes allowing for sperm to swim up through the cervix.

Now go out and get busy!

Image source.

This is how we’re defining success this school year

Hint: It's not related to grades.

In the ever-moving lives of parents and children, opportunities to slow down and reflect on priorities can be hard to come by. But a new school year scheduled to begin in the midst of a global pandemic offers the chance to reflect on how we should all think about measures of success. For both parents and kids, that may mean putting a fresh emphasis on optimism, creativity and curiosity.

Throughout recent decades, "school success" became entangled with "academic achievement," with cases of anxiety among school children dramatically increasing in the past few generations. Then, almost overnight, the American school system was turned on its head in the spring of 2020. As we look ahead to a new school year that will look like no year past, more is being asked of teachers, students and parents, such as acclimating to distance learning, collaborating with peers from afar and aiming to maintain consistency with schooling amidst general instability due to COVID.

Despite the inherent challenges, there is also an overdue opportunity to redefine success during the school year by finding fresh ways to keep students and their parents involved in the learning process.

"I always encourage my son to try at least one difficult thing every school year," says Arushi Garg, parenting blogger and mom of a 4-year-old. "This challenges him but also allows me to remind him to be optimistic! Lots of things in life are hard, and it's important we learn to be positive during difficult times. Fostering a sense of optimism allows kids to push beyond what they thought possible, like biking without training wheels or reading above their grade level."

Here are a few mantras to keep in mind this school year:

Quality learning matters more than quantifying learning

After focusing on standardized measures of academic success for so long, the learning environment this next school year may involve more independent, remote learning. Some parents are considering this an exciting opportunity for their children to assume a bigger role in what they are learning—and parents are also getting on board by supporting their children's education with engaging, positive learning materials like Highlights Magazine.

As a working mom, Garg also appreciates that Highlights Magazine can help engage her son while she's also working. She says, "He sits next to me and solves puzzles in the magazine or practices his writing from the workbook."

Keep an open mind as "school" looks different

Whether children are of preschool age or in the midst of high school, "going to school" is bound to look different this year. Naturally, this may require some adjustment as kids become accustomed to new guidelines. Although many parents may wish to shelter our kids from challenges, others believe optimism can be fostered through adversity when everyone is committed to adapting to new experiences.

"Honestly, I am yet to figure out when I will be comfortable sending [my son] back [to school]," says Garg. In the meantime, she's helping her son remain connected with friends who also read Highlights Magazine by encouraging the kids to talk about what they are learning on video calls.

Follow children's cues about what interests them

For Garg, her biggest hope for this school year is that her son will create "success" for himself by embracing new learning possibilities with positivity.

"Encouraging my son to try new things has given him a chance to prove that he can do anything," she says. "He takes his previous success as an example now and feels he can fail multiple times before he succeeds."

There's no denying that this school year will be far from the norm. But, perhaps, we can create a new, better way of defining our children's success in school because of it.

This article was sponsored by Highlights. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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