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How to Tell Your Boss You’re Pregnant

Learning you’re pregnant is exciting. Telling your boss about it is not. For a working mom-to-be, this inevitable discussion can become equally as anxiety inducing as the baby itself. But talking about your pregnancy at work -- not just with your boss, but with your whole team, and in fact, your whole office -- can set the stage for your life as a working mom. So start talking.

To help frame your discussions we turned to Allyson Downey, founder of Weespring and author of HERE'S THE PLAN: Your Practical, Tactical Guide to Advancing Your Career During Pregnancy and Parenthood. With more than 50 interviews with working moms to draw from, Allyson’s created the ultimate tomb to help career gals navigate the world of office politics during pregnancy and postpartum.

Starting, she says, with the dreaded pregnancy reveal to your boss. On the bright side, her interviews revealed that while 77% of women were worried about the conversation, only 3% of them actually went badly (sorry, ladies). Nonetheless, here’s Allyson’s practical tips on how to ace that discussion, and 5 others you’ll be having around your office when you’re pregnant.

  1. Share with only the most trusted confidants before your boss. If your direct manager isn't the first person you tell (you may want to talk to your Human Resources (HR) first, or you talk to a colleague to get advice), be crystal clear that they're not say a word to anyone else. If you do talk to Human Resources, let them know you want to be the one to break it to your boss. And if it’s a friend, find a trustworthy one.

  1. Make it a relative non-event with your boss. When you're ready to tell your boss, include it as an agenda item on a regular check in, rather than requesting a separate meeting. You're signaling: this is no big deal, and I'm focused on business as usual. When you’re feeling nervous about talking to your boss, you might convey that your pregnancy is a bigger deal than you’d like it to be, and may even end up making apologies for it. Instead, set the tone that you’re the same, reliable employee, and let your boss know you’ll discuss specifics at a later meeting.

  1. Reassure your colleagues. Know that your colleagues are the ones most likely to cover your work in your absence (not your boss), so be sensitive (and gracious) about your maternity leave placing a burden on them. Be proactive and put together an extensive document that explains what you have going on. Express your gratitude often and go out of your way to make it easy for them to help you out. And when you return, buy your colleagues a pizza or write them a thank-you note! Do something to thank your colleagues for carrying out your work while you were out.

  1. Don’t let your pregnancy become fodder for small talk in the office. Replacing, "I can't believe it is still raining!" with "I got no sleep last night!" can hurt your credibility, because your colleagues may internalize that being a mother is exhausting/stressful/consuming for you. While you may be tempted to talk with passion and excitement about your baby shower or nursery decor, don’t let people misconstrue that it’s all you’re thinking about. Be mindful that you’re talking about your work with the same level of passion and excitement.

  1. Acknowledge the things left unsaid. Remember that everyone makes assumptions about what mothers (and soon-to-be mothers) want and need. They're often incorrect. Be especially proactive about speaking up for what you want, whether it's flexibility to work remotely or the opportunity to take on a demanding new project.

  1. Once the news settles in, work out the fine details with your boss. For this second, more in-depth discussion of your maternity leave, err on the side of over-preparedness. Even if you don’t have all the answers, make sure you have all the questions. Come up with a comprehensive list of what needs to be handled while you’re out, a timeline and considerations that could arise. When it comes to your own maternity leave and return benefits, consider what's negotiable -- and then advocate for what you care about. Even if your company has a hard and fast (and maybe crappy) parental leave policy, there's almost always something on the table that gives one party a win without costing the other party anything.

Come meet Allyson on her book tour, starting with our own Well Rounded NY book launch party for her at giggle on Tuesday, April 26! Get your tickets here.

Prepping to be a working mom? We’re partnering with Weespring to give away nearly $5,000 in working mom gear! Enter here.

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Baby stuff comes in such cute prints these days. Gone are the days when everything was pink and blue and covered in ducks or teddy bears. Today's baby gear features stylish prints that appeal to mom.

That's why it's totally understandable how a mama could mistake a car seat cover for a cute midi skirt. It happened to Lori Farrell, and when she shared her mishap on Facebook she went viral before she was even home from work. Fellow moms can totally see the humor in Farrell's mishap, and thankfully, so can she.

As for how a car seat cover could be mistaken for a skirt—it's pretty simple, Farrell tells Motherly.

"A friend of mine had given me a huge lot of baby stuff, from clothes to baby carriers to a rocker and blankets and when I pulled it out I was not sure what it was," she explains. "I debated it but washed it anyway then decided because of the way it pulled on the side it must be a maternity skirt."

Farrell still wasn't 100% sure if she was right by the time she headed out the door to work, but she rocked the ambiguous attire anyway.

"When I got to work I googled the brand and realized not only do they not sell clothing but it was a car seat cover."

The brand, Itzy Ritzy, finds the whole thing pretty funny too, sharing Farell's viral moment to its official Instagram.

It may be a car seat cover, but that print looks really good on this mama.

And if you want to copy Farell's style, the Itzy Ritzy 4-in-1 Nursing Cover, Car Seat Cover, Shopping Cart Cover and Infinity Scarf (and skirt!) is available on Amazon for $24.94.

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy.You've got this.

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Daycare for infants is expensive across the country, and California has one of the worst states for parents seeking care for a baby. Putting an infant in daycare in California costs $2,914 more than in-state tuition for four years of college, according to the Economic Policy Institute.

Paying north of $1,000 for daycare each month is an incredible burden, especially on single-parent families. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services defines affordable childcare as costing no more than 10% of a family's income—by that definition, less than 29% of families in California can afford infant care. Some single parents spend half their income on day care. It is an incredible burden on working parents.

But that burden may soon get lighter. CBS Sacramento reports California may put between $25 and $35 million into child care programs to make day care more affordable for parents with kids under 3 years old.

Assembly Bill 452, introduced this week, could see $10 million dollars funneled into Early Head Start (which currently gets no money from the state but does get federal funding) and tens of millions more would be spent on childcare for kids under three.

The bill seeks to rectify a broken childcare system. Right now, only about 14% of eligible infants and toddlers are enrolled in subsidized programs in California, and in 2017, only 7% of eligible children younger than three years of age accessed Early Head Start.

An influx of between $25 to $35 million dollars could see more spaces open up for kids under three, as Bill 452, if passed, would see the creation of "grants to develop childcare facilities that serve children from birth to three years of age."

This piece of proposed legislation comes weeks after California's governor announced an ambitious plan for paid parental leave, and as another bill, AB 123, seeks to strengthen the state's pre-kindergarten program.

Right now, it is difficult for some working parents to make a life in California, but by investing in families, the state's lawmakers could change that and change California's future for the better.

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When a mama gets married, in most cases she wants her children to be part of her big day. Photographers are used to hearing bride-to-be moms request lots of pictures of their big day, but when wedding photographer Laura Schaefer of Fire and Gold Photography heard her client Dalton Mort planned to wear her 2-year-old daughter Ellora instead of a veil, she was thrilled.

A fellow mama who understands the benefits of baby-wearing, Schaefer was keen to capture the photos Mort requested. "When I asked Dalton about what some of her 'must get' shots would be for her wedding, she specifically asked for ones of her wearing Ellie, kneeling and praying in the church before the tabernacle," Schaefer tells Motherly.

She got those shots and so many more, and now Mort's toddler-wearing wedding day pics are going viral.

"Dalton wore Ellie down the aisle and nursed her to sleep during the readings," Schaefer wrote on her blog, explaining that Ellie then slept through the whole wedding mass.

"As a fellow mother of an active toddler, this is a HUGE win! Dalton told me after that she was SO grateful that Ellie slept the whole time because she was able to focus and really pray through the Mass," Schaefer explains.

Dalton was able to concentrate on her wedding day because she made her baby girl a part of it (and that obviously tired Ellie right out).

Ellie was part of the commitment and family Dalton if forging with her husband, Jimmy Joe. "There is no better behaved toddler than a sleeping toddler, and she was still involved, even though I ended up unwrapping her to nurse her. I held her in my arms while my husband and I said our vows. It was really special for us," Dalton told POPSUGAR.

This is a wedding trend we are totally here for!

Congrats to Dalton and Jimmy Joe (and to Ellie)! 🎉

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The internet is freaking out about how Peppa Pig is changing the way toddlers speak, but parents don't need to be too worried.

As Romper first reported, plenty of American parents have noticed that preschoolers are picking up a bit of a British accent thanks to Peppa. Romper's Janet Manley calls it "the Peppa effect," noting that her daughter started calling her "Mummy" after an in-flight Peppa marathon.

Plenty of other parents report sharing Manley's experience, but the British accent is not likely to stick, experts say.

Toronto-based speech and language pathologist Melissa James says this isn't a new thing—kids have always been testing out the accents they hear on TV and in the real world, long before Peppa oinked her way into our Netflix queues.

"Kids have this amazing ability to pick up language," James told Global News. "Their brains are ripe for the learning of language and it's a special window of opportunity that adults don't possess."

Global News reports that back in the day there were concerns about Dora The Explorer potentially teaching kids Spanish words before the kids had learned the English counterparts, and over in the U.K., parents have noticed British babies picking up American accents from TV, too.

But it's not a bad thing, James explains. When an American adult hears "Mummy" their brain translates it to "Mommy," but little kids don't yet make as concrete a connection. "When a child, two, three or four, is watching a show with a British accent and hears [words] for the first time, they are mapping out the speech and sound for that word in the British way."

So if your baby is oinking at you, calling you "Mummy" or testing out a new pronunciation of "toh-mah-toe," know that this is totally natural, and they're not going to end up with a life-long British pig accent.

As Dr, Susannah Levi, associate professor of communicative sciences and disorders at New York University, tells The Guardian, "it's really unlikely that they'd be acquiring an entire second dialect from just watching a TV show."

It sure is cute though.

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