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Making Mama Friends

3 tips to help you find a mama match made in heaven.

Making Mama Friends

If there's one piece of advice we have as veteran moms for new moms, it's always: “Find mama friends.” While this was the last thing that we thought we needed as pregnant gals, it turned out that the only way we got through (and get through) the thick of it was by finding local moms who had kids the same age to speak baby talk with.

We’re not saying that you and your bestie are going to fall apart at the seems (you’re not), we’re just saying that if there’s ever a time to make room in your life for a new friend for life, it’s definitely when you’re a new mama.

Even in the big city, having a newborn can feel isolating. But like-minded parent friends can make the experience an opportunity to rediscover your city, share milestone moments and maybe even escape for a glass of vino at the end of a tough day.

And if you’re still thinking, “ugh, that’s so cheesy,” guess what? You’re about to be a new mama and you’re awesome...and so is your new soul mama that you haven’t met just yet. We’re stoked for you.

If it all stills feels a little too awkward, our friends at Hello Mamas will help take first date jitters out of the equation. Here, the founders of this mama-matching site give us 3 tips on finding new mama friends.

1. Meg Gerritson: Step outside of your comfort zone.

Making mom friends--especially for the first time--can feel like you're on a blind date at a bar. It's bizarre, totally awkward, and often overwhelming. That said, it really is SO worth the hard work once you find one or a few cool local mamas. And try not to focus so much on finding a mom just like you. Some of my best mom friends are my opposites and we hear the same from many mom friends who met via Hello Mamas. It may take time to figure things out, but if you can learn to appreciate your differences, it could very well be the perfect match.

2. Christa Terry: Ignore "rejection" because it's probably not actually rejection.

Yes, that cool mom from the playground or that friend of a friend never did get in touch to plan a playdate, but why assume it's you? She's a mom, and since you're a mom you know how hard it can be to remember where you put someone's phone number. (Seriously, I have about 15 names in my phone who could be anyone or anyone's mom. It can be hard to find the time to write an email or a text or make a call when there's not an immediate need. That's if you can even find the mental energy to welcome new people into your life this month. Being a mom takes a lot out of you, and sometimes making friends is the last thing on your to-do list. So if you're feeling bummed that you didn't connect, chalk it up to the busyness of motherhood, brush off your ego, move on, and keep putting yourself out there.

3. Julia High: Be yourself!

Too much work to try to impress people while keeping small children from concussions.

Seeking new mama or expectant mama friends? Check out Hello Mamas!

Becoming Mama™: A Pregnancy and Birth Podcast by Motherly

The essential pregnancy + birth companion podcast to the groundbreaking book, The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama.

Becoming Mama ™: A Pregnancy and Birth Podcast by Motherly is the essential pregnancy + birth companion podcast to the groundbreaking book, The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama: Redefining the Pregnancy, Birth, and Postpartum Journey, the evidence-based, women center book you have been waiting for.

Host Diana Spalding is Motherly's Digital Education Editor, a certified nurse-midwife, pediatric nurse and mother of three, and she wrote The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama. Each week of your pregnancy (and beyond), Diana shares insight, support and non-judgmental guidance about the things that matter most to you.

Please remember that Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This podcast does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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Learn about all episodes of Becoming Mama ™: A Pregnancy and Birth Podcast by Motherly

Introduction

Becoming Mama™: A Pregnancy and Birth Podcast by Motherly is the essential pregnancy + birth companion podcast to the groundbreaking book, The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama: Redefining the Pregnancy, Birth, and Postpartum Journey. Meet your host Diana Spalding, Motherly's Digital Education Editor and certified nurse-midwife and learn more about what to expect in each episode.

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Episode Overview Quicklinks:

# 1: Pregnancy and self-care

In the very first episode of the Becoming Mama Podcast, you'll meet your host Diana Spalding and learn more about what to anticipate in each episode.

Diana talks about the importance of self-care through pregnancy. We live in a society that makes us feel like self-care is selfish, but really it is the least selfish thing you can do, especially when you are on the brink of motherhood.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: If I wrote your 'before you were born' letter now, here's what I'd say

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# 2: Getting pregnant

In this episode, Diana talks about getting pregnant, and one of the most important concepts to know when you're trying to get pregnant: Timing is everything. Plus, you'll learn about an important sign that you are ovulating.

Sign up for our newsletter and get Motherly's fertility worksheet.

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# 3: Miscarriage

This episode is dedicated to women who are experiencing a miscarriage if listening feels right. Miscarriage is perhaps the most intensely personal experience a person can go through. There is no right way to feel, except the way that comes up for you naturally—just know that you are deeply and lovingly held and supported.

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# 4: Week 4: Foods to avoid

If you've just found out you are pregnant, in addition to hundreds of feelings (!), you may be wondering about what you can and cannot eat. In this episode, we'll give an overview of the foods that experts usually recommend avoiding during pregnancy.

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# 5: Week 5: Choosing where to get prenatal care

It may seem impossibly early in your pregnancy to start thinking about birth! But where you give birth influences where you get your prenatal care, and you'll be having your first prenatal appointment soon. In this episode, Diana will give an overview of your options.

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# 6: Week 6: Baby development

This podcast is about you, but you are probably curious about what your bay is up to in there. This week, check in and see what is happening with your baby's development at 6 weeks pregnant.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: How pregnancy taught me to love my body

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# 7: Week 7: Pregnancy village

Pregnancy is an amazing but vulnerable time. So it's essential to surround yourself with people that lift you up. In the episode, Diana shares some ideas when considering who to have in your pregnancy village.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: Motherhood helped me learn who my real friends are

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# 8: Week 8: Pelvic exams

It's week 8, which means you may be having your first prenatal visit pretty soon. In this episode, Diana discusses what to anticipate at that first visit, and shares some tips on making pelvic exams more tolerable.

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# 9: Week 9: Pregnancy nausea

If you are following week by week and are nine weeks pregnant, nausea may really be starting to take hold, as it does for most pregnant women. Diana shares some ideas to make it better and offers emotional support for this very difficult symptom.

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# 10: Week 10: Baby development and nutrition

It's time for a little "what is your baby up to" update! The 10-week mark of pregnancy is an exciting milestone because it is the last week of the embryo stage. We'll also talk about your concerns related to nutrition when you have pregnancy nausea.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: The most surprising thing about my pregnancy was how powerful I felt

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# 11: Week 11: Sex and intimacy

Sex and intimacy during pregnancy can feel mysterious—but it doesn't have to! In this episode, Diana talks about how to stay safe, how to (gasp) enjoy it, and shares a note on feeling comfortable about your body with your provider.

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# 12: Week 12: Registry

This is the time when many parents start to think about their registries and the items they'd like to acquire for their babies! In this episode Diana shares some tips for creating the perfect registry.

Check out Motherly's Essential Baby Registry!

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# 13: Week 13: Pause and reflect

Let's pause and reflect on everything in your life that's led you to this very important moment in time. And, Diana encourages you to try to "release the not enoughs, the can'ts, and the doubts," so that you can step into your true self and power.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: Our kids are watching—let's teach them how to love who they are

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# 14: Week 14: Pregnancy and work

Making the decision about what work looks like for you after the baby comes is super personal. In his episode, Diana addresses a common concern for women: telling your employer or co-workers that you are pregnant.

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# 15: Week 15: Baby development and baby kicks

Let's check in on your baby's development at week 15. Diana also shares a way to bond with your baby this month, and some info on when you'll get to feel those first baby movements.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: This is the last time I'll ever be pregnant

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# 16: Week 16: Exercise and cravings

In this episode, Diana reviews the benefits of exercise during pregnancy and shares some insight into pregnancy cravings—why we have them, and some ideas for healthy foods.

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# 17: Week 17: Parenting

It may seem far away, but remember that at the end of all of this, you will have a baby! In this episode, Diana talks about beginning to think about how you'll want to be a parent to your child—and the most important piece to remember.

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# 18: Week 18: Defining your values

Values are essentially your guiding principles—the concepts that are the most important to you as you go through your days and years. Defining those values during pregnancy can be incredibly helpful so that you can stay true to yourself as you transition into motherhood.

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# 19: Week 19: Baby development and sleep

Let's check in and see what's going on with your baby! And, Diana shares tips on getting enough sleep as your pregnancy progresses, your belly gets bigger, and sleep is harder to come by.

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# 20: Week 20: Ultrasounds, and when they find a problem

Many women have their big anatomy scan, a long ultrasound that looks at all the parts of the baby around this week. Sometimes, ultrasounds reveal a concern. This episode is focused on supporting you should that become a part of your story.

Here is The Motherly Podcast episode with Kristen Bell that Diana mentioned.

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# 21: Week 21: Doulas

Doulas can be an incredibly powerful member of your team. In this episode, Diana talks about what doulas are, how they can help, how to choose one, and how doulas can be instrumental in improving disparities in maternal health.

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# 22: Week 22: When pregnancy is hard

Pregnancy is amazing—but sometimes it can be very hard. In this episode, Diana offers support and love to women experiencing difficult pregnancies (for any reason).

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: Dear mama: You're not doing it wrong, it's just *that* hard

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# 23: Week 23: Birth overview

It's time to start talking about birth! Diana gives an overview of what happens during the first, second, third and fourth stages of labor, and what you might experience during each of them.

In response to COVID-19, Motherly's Becoming Mama ™ Online birth class is free.

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# 24: Week 24: Baby development and hobbies

In this episode, we'll check in with your baby's development, and talk about the importance of having fun—both during pregnancy and in motherhood.

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# 25: Week 25: Preterm labor

In today's episode, we are going to talk about preterm labor—the signs and symptoms, and what to do if you are worried that you might be going into labor early. Plus, Diana shares some support for warrior NICU mamas.

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# 26: Week 26: Relationships

Let's talk about relationships. You are approaching the end of the second trimester, which means that things are getting very real. If you have a partner, let's think about what your relationship is all going to be like when the baby is here.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: Dear husband, I miss you

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# 27: Week 27: The placenta

The placenta is a wildly cool organ, with very important functions during pregnancy—and some very interesting potential uses after.

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# 28: Week 28: Fetal movement

It's important to pay attention to your baby's movement—in this episode Diana shares one way to keep track. Plus, she invites you to marvel at this important pregnancy milestone—the third trimester.

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# 29: Week 29: Baby development and umbilical cords

Let's do our first check in to see what your baby is up to in the third trimester. Plus, Diana shares some comforting insight into the common concern of umbilical cords being wrapped around the baby's neck, as well as information on the practice of delayed cord clamping.

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# 30: Week 30: Nourishment and movement

Anemia can be more common during the third trimester, so let's talk about the symptoms, and some ways to increase your iron intake. We'll also talk through diaphragmatic breathing—how to do it, and why you might want to.

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# 31: Week 31: Breech and transverse babies

In this episode, Diana discusses breech and transverse baby positions, ways to encourage them to move to a head-down position, and what to anticipate if they don't.

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# 32: Week 32: Fear

Today, we are going to talk about fear, specifically the fear of birth. Diana discusses when to seek help for fearful thoughts, and share some ideas for making your fear feel less powerful.

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# 33: Week 33: Baby development and birth plans

Your pregnancy is 33 weeks along, so let's check in with their development. And, Diana talks about why you might want to consider developing a birth plan for your upcoming birth.

Sign up for our newsletter and get Motherly's birth plan worksheet.

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# 34: Week 34: Pain and the epidural decision

Today we are going to talk about pain and the epidural decision—in a completely non-judgmental way, of course.

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# 35: Week 35: Immediate postpartum and postpartum bleeding

We've spent time in recent episodes talking about birth, and today we are going to talk about what happens just after birth. Plus, Diana talks about what to anticipate when it comes to postpartum bleeding.

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# 36: Week 36: Prepping for postpartum

Start thinking about ways you can create a postpartum haven for yourself—a place where you can just rest and heal and take care of your baby in a way that feels like you are being cocooned in love and nurturing goodness.

Check out Motherly's Fourth Trimester Challenge with LiveItUp!, hosted by Motherly co-founder, Jill Koziol.

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# 37: Week 37: Baby development and big babies

In this episode, Diana checks in with your baby's development one more time, and shares some comforting words regarding the common concern around giving birth to a big baby.

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# 38: Week 38: Cesarean births

Diana discusses what happens during a Cesarean section, and reminds us that Cesarean births are very much births.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: My birth story: A scheduled repeat C-section

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This episode is sponsored by Target. Shop Target Baby Month Deals now and get 10% off one Nursery Furniture item from 9/13/20-9/19/20 by entering "BABYMONTH" in your checkout cart. *exclusions apply, must be capitalized when entered.

# 39: Week 39: You can do this

You. Are. So. Close. Let Diana offer you some inspiration and comfort as you get ready to give birth. You've got this.

Here is the Letter to my Baby Meditation that Diana mentions in the episode.

Listen now:

This episode is sponsored by Target. Shop Target Baby Month Deals now and get 10% off one Nursery Furniture item from 9/13/20-9/19/20 by entering "BABYMONTH" in your checkout cart. *exclusions apply, must be capitalized when entered.

# 40: Week 40: Going past your due date

Most first time mamas go past their due date—but that doesn't make it easy. In this episode, Diana offers some encouragement, and a way to stay positive during this potentially tough period of time.

Here is the article Diana mentioned in the episode: To the mama about to give birth—there's magic in the waiting

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This episode is sponsored by Target. Shop Target Baby Month Deals now and get 10% off one Nursery Furniture item from 9/13/20-9/19/20 by entering "BABYMONTH" in your checkout cart. *exclusions apply, must be capitalized when entered.

# 41: Week 41: Baby blues and postpartum mood disorders

Today, Diana talks about your emotional wellbeing after giving birth, specifically the baby blues and postpartum depression and anxiety and other mood disorders.

Check out Motherly's guide to postpartum mood disorders.

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This episode is sponsored by Target. Shop Target Baby Month Deals now and get 10% off one Nursery Furniture item from 9/13/20-9/19/20 by entering "BABYMONTH" in your checkout cart. *exclusions apply, must be capitalized when entered.

# 42: Week 42: Postpartum physical recovery

Let's spend some time talking about your physical recovery from birth, specifically your vagina and pelvis.

Listen now:

This episode is sponsored by Target. Shop Target Baby Month Deals now and get 10% off one Nursery Furniture item from 9/13/20-9/19/20 by entering "BABYMONTH" in your checkout cart. *exclusions apply, must be capitalized when entered.

# 43: Week 43: Bonding with your baby

In today's episode, Diana talks about the sweet new addition to your life, and some ways that you can bond with them.

Listen now:

This episode is sponsored by Target. Shop Target Baby Month Deals now and get 10% off one Nursery Furniture item from 9/13/20-9/19/20 by entering "BABYMONTH" in your checkout cart. *exclusions apply, must be capitalized when entered.

# 44: Week 44: Feeding your baby

Today we are going to talk about feeding your baby, and what is perhaps the most common worry is among new parents—how do I know that my baby is getting enough to eat?

Listen now:

This episode is sponsored by Target. Shop Target Baby Month Deals now and get 10% off one Nursery Furniture item from 9/13/20-9/19/20 by entering "BABYMONTH" in your checkout cart. *exclusions apply, must be capitalized when entered.

# 45: Week 45: Becoming a mama

In this final weekly episode, Diana spends a few moments talking about evolution, specifically the way that your life and your motherhood journey are going to continue to evolve.

Listen now:

popular

There is rightfully a lot of emphasis on preparing for the arrival of a new baby. The clothes! The nursery furniture! The gear! But, the thing about a baby registry is, well, your kids will keep on growing. Before you know it, they'll have new needs—and you'll probably have to foot the bill for the products yourself.

Thankfully, you don't have to break the bank when shopping for toddler products. Here are our favorite high-quality, budget-friendly finds to help with everything from meal time to bath time for the toddler set.

Comforts Fruit Crisps Variety Pack

Comforts fruit snacks

If there is one thing to know about toddlers, it is this: They love snacks. Keeping a variety on hand is easy when the pack already comes that way! Plus, we sure do appreciate that freeze-dried fruit is a healthier alternative to fruit snacks.

Comforts Electrolyte Drink

Comforts electrolyte drink

Between running (or toddling!) around all day and potentially developing a pickier palate, many toddlers can use a bit of extra help with replenishing their electrolytes—especially after they've experienced a tummy bug. We suggest keeping an electrolyte drink on hand.

Comforts Training Pants

Comforts training pants

When the time comes to start potty training, it sure helps to have some training pants on hand. If they didn't make it to the potty in time, these can help them learn their body's cues.

Comforts Nite Pants

comforts nite pants

Even when your toddler gets the hang of using the toilet during the day, nighttime training typically takes several months longer than day-time training. In the meantime, nite pants will still help them feel like the growing, big kid they are.

Comforts Baby Lotion

comforts baby lotion

Running, jumping, playing in sand, splashing in water—the daily life of a toddler can definitely irritate their skin! Help put a protective barrier between their delicate skin and the things they come into contact with every day with nourishing lotion.

Another great tip? Shopping the Comforts line on Comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices—and follow along on social media to see product releases and news at @comfortsforbaby.

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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A few years ago, while my wife's baby bump got bigger and my daddy reading list grew longer, I felt cautiously optimistic that this parenthood thing would, somehow, suddenly click one day. The baby would come, instincts would kick in, and the transition from established couple to a new family would be tiring but not baffling.

Boy was I wrong.

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