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Some of you expectant mothers out there might choose to approach your Big Day blissfully unaware of what is headed down the pipeline (so to speak). This post is not for you. For those of you who are not afraid of peeking around the hospital curtain, boy-oh-boy, well, I’m going to give it to you straight.

You already know that the whole birthing thing is not pretty. But there are quite a few things that pregnant peeps everywhere will never know about the process until they are swimming in breast milk. This is because the rest of us – those moms who have been through the birthing and postpartum experience – are purposely keeping these things a secret from you. If we told you, the world may cease to procreate.

So consider what I am about to reveal to you as 10 Top Secret Tips that I really shouldn’t be telling you. But because I’m really bad at secret-keeping, I’m going to tell you anyway.

1. You will heart your hospital gown so much.

Perhaps you have ordered a special nightgown or robe to wear during your hospital stay. You may have even planned a blowout prior to your due date, and have included some essential makeup items in your hospital overnight bag. Dream on. The only gown you will want to wear is the hospital gown. It is the easiest thing to wear when attempting to breastfeed for the first time, and, because you will be leaking fluid from every orifice, you won’t want to wear anything you can’t burn upon leaving the hospital.

2. Wee-wee pads are not just for dogs.

Is your secret name Spot? Or Fido? You might think so, based on the fact that your hospital bed features three layers of wee-wee-pads, lovingly changed on the hour by the friendly hospital staff. You will have no control over the fluids that will be exiting your body, so embrace the pads. Take some home, too, because you don’t want to stain your own bed. Plus, the memories!

3. Peeing with a stranger is fun.

Not really. But it is helpful! Your first post-labor pee pee will most likely involve a kindly nurse gently walking you into the bathroom and squeezing a warm bottle of water onto your V, to help with that first excruciating tinkle. She will explain that you will need this bottle from now on every time you use the commode because you if you do not use it, peeing will feel like FIRE. Further warning: You will want the emotional support of this nurse every time you need to use the bathroom. Consider asking her to come home with you.

4. You will be wearing a lot of mesh underwear.

Did you know about the mesh underwear? I bet you didn’t. You’re probably thinking this is some kinky new trend started by forward-thinking moms in New Zealand. Maybe you are picturing something you might find at your neighborhood Adult Fantasyland store. You are picturing it all wrong. Following labor, the hospital will hide the nice underwear you had planned on wearing during your stay and instead give you something that resembles surgical gauze or cheesecloth at best to cover your lady parts. Most likely, you will develop a rash from the mesh, which is REALLY fun if you end up also having a C-section scar. So much itching! Fun fact: Once you are home and you have graduated from the mesh, you get to wear the kind of underwear you enjoyed in middle school – big, bottom-covering, bunchy-butt, elastic waist ones. This is the only type of undergarment that can accommodate the supersize, extra-long, double overnight maxi pads that you will be wearing for the next several weeks post labor.

5. Speaking of . . . Let’s talk about pads!

So you’ve gotten to enjoy one of the only perks about pregnancy – not worrying about wearing white pants in case your period pops up unexpectedly, not having to buy anything with the word “absorbent” in it. Welcome back from dreamland, ladies. After labor, you will be bleeding every day, all day, for several weeks (and possibly even months). You might even think that having a C-section negates the postpartum bloodletting. No. Postpartum believes in equal rights for all types of labor, and so, expect to bleed like the elevator scene from The Shining.

6. Also, witch-hazel pads.

Visit anyone who has just gotten home from the hospital, and you will find a trusty container of witch-hazel pads in the bathroom. Post-birth, these will become your “toilet paper”. You no longer will be able to use toilet paper unless you like the feeling of sandpaper rubbing against a painful open wound. Supposedly, witch-hazel is “soothing.”

7. Beware your first postpartum poo.

You thought that constipation during pregnancy was pretty rough. Get ready for something that makes that pale in comparison. Not only does your stomach still look eight months pregnant, but also you will now be carrying quite a load – and this one isn’t cute. Maybe for over a week. All that Percocet is super constipating, and if you end up having surgery, that just adds to the clogged-up equation. For the love of all that is holy, do not try to force the poo. Do not hunker down with a stack of celebrity magazines and use your newly acquired pushing skills to achieve bowel clearance. The poo will come to you, and when it does, assign someone to hold the baby for the next hour and a half while you push a tennis ball out of your rectum. Don’t worry. You’re familiar with that feeling by now, right?

8. Nursing bras are your new sexy.

Bras are nice. They are pretty. The expensive ones make you feel like you’re someone’s mistress. They lend shape, they contour, they even provide a little layer of protection when someone jabs his elbow into your boobs on the subway. Nursing bras, however, can SUCK. Even the ones from brands cheekily named “Hot Milk” or “Jezebel” or “La Comptesse” or whatever sultry name these companies have come up with to help you come to terms with the fact that you have to wear a bra that provides so much coverage it practically hits your chin.

9. Breast pads. An introduction:

Why must so many things concerning postpartum involve the word ‘pad’? How humiliating. Breast pads are flat, disc-shaped cotton balls that you put into your newly purchased nursing bra to catch breast milk leakage. They fill up pretty fast, and if your bra isn’t thick enough, they show through your shirt. You will feel like you are revisiting your childhood days of dressing up as Dolly Parton. And you will need to change it every 20 minutes that you are not nursing because you can’t stop leaking whenever you think about your baby. Which feels slightly vulgar, like a middle-schooler trying to hide his boner in History class.

10. Behold, the magical powers of bamboo.

You probably thought bamboo was just for pandas, or like, those expensive new swaddles that are out there. Wrong! Bamboo also helps shrink your stomach. There are a few of these corset-like tummy tuckers on the market that promise to shrink a postpartum belly as long as you vow to wear it every day for weeks, for up to six hours a day. The way it works is, your stomach is sucked in so tightly from the band that you can’t stuff your face. Also, you won’t want to leave the house with it because it makes you look like Deenie from the Judy Blume books, which conveniently prohibits you from grocery shopping or eating out. Magic!

Wishing you could turn back the hands of time to that fateful night of conception? I bet you are! But guess what? It is too late (cue evil laughter). Don’t worry. You got this in the bag. You are woman. You are Mother Earth. You are strong, like ox. A leaky, cranky, sleep-deprived ox, but still. Also: Don’t tell anyone what I’ve just told you. You can keep a secret, right?

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We spend a lot of time prepping for the arrival of a baby. But when it comes to the arrival of our breast milk (and all the massive adjustments that come with it), it's easy to be caught off guard. Stocking up on a few breastfeeding essentials can make the transition to breastfeeding a lot less stressful, which means more time and energy focusing on what's most important: Your recovery and your brand new baby.

Here are the essential breastfeeding tools you'll need, mama:

1. For covering up: A cute nursing cover

First and foremost, please know that all 50 states in the United States have laws that allow women to breastfeed in public. You do not have to cover yourself if you don't want to—and many mamas choose not to—and we are all for it.

That said, if you do anticipate wanting to take a more modest approach to breastfeeding, a nursing cover is a must. You will find an array of styles to choose from, but we love an infinity scarf, like the LK Baby Infinity Nursing Scarf Nursing Cover. You'll be able to wear the nursing cover instead of stuffing it in your already brimming diaper bag—and it's nice to have it right there when the baby is ready to eat.

Also, in the inevitable event that your baby spits-up on you or you leak some milk through your shirt, having a quick and stylish way to cover up is a total #momwin.

2. For getting comfortable: A cozy glider

Having a comfy spot to nurse can make a huge difference. Bonus points if that comfy place totally brings a room together, like the Delta Children Paris Upholstered Glider!

Get your cozy space ready to go, and when your baby is here, you can retreat from the world and just nurse, bond, and love.

3. For unmatched support: A wire-free nursing bra

It may take trying on several brands to find the perfect match, but finding a nursing bra that you love is 100% worth the effort. Your breasts will be changing and working in ways that are hard to imagine. An excellent supportive bra will make this so much more comfortable.

It is crucial to choose a wireless bra for the first weeks of nursing since underwire can increase the risk of clogged ducts (ouch).The Playtex Maternity Shaping Foam Wirefree Nursing Bra is an awesome pick for this reason, and because it is designed to flex and fit your breasts as they go through all those changes.

4. For maximum hydration: A large reusable water bottle

Nothing can prepare you for the intense thirst that hits when breastfeeding. Quench that thirst (and help keep your milk supply up in the process) by always having a water bottle with a straw nearby, like this Exquis Large Outdoor Water Bottle.

5. For feeding convenience: A supportive nursing tank

Experts recommend that during the first weeks of your baby's life, you breastfeed on-demand, meaning that any time your tiny boss demands milk, you feed them. This will help establish your milk supply and get everything off to a good start.

What does this mean for your life? You will be breastfeeding A LOT. Nursing tanks, like the Loving Moments by Leading Lady, make this so much easier. They have built-in support to keep you comfy, and you can totally wear them around the house, or even out and about. When your baby wants to eat, you'll be able to quickly "pop out" a breast and feed them.

6. For pain prevention: A quality nipple ointment

Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt, but the truth is those first days can be uncomfortable. Your nipples will likely feel raw as they adjust to their new job. This will get better! But until it does, nipple ointment is amazing.

My favorite is the Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter. We love that it's organic, and it is oh-so-soothing on your hard-at-work nipples.

Psst: If it actually hurts when your baby latches on, something may be up, so call your provider or a lactation consultant for help.

7. For uncomfortable moments: A dual breast therapy pack

As your breasts adjust to their new role, you may experience a few discomforts—applying warmth or cold can help make them feel so much better. The Lansinoh TheraPearl 3-in-1 Breast Therapy Pack is awesome because you can microwave the pads or put them in the freezer, giving you a lot of options when your breasts need some TLC.

Again, if you have any concerns about something being wrong (pain, a bump that may be red or hot, fever, or anything else), call a professional right away.

8. For inevitable leaks: An absorbing breast pad

In today's episode of, "Oh come on, really?" you are going to leak breastmilk. Now, this is entirely natural and you are certainly not required to do anything about this. Still, many moms choose to wear breast pads in their bras to avoid leaking through to their shirts.

You can go the convenient and disposable route with Lansinoh Disposable Stay Dry Nursing Pads, or for a more environmentally friendly option, you can choose washable pads, like these Organic Bamboo Nursing Breast Pads.

9. For flexibility: A breast pump

Many women find that a breast pump becomes one of their most essential mom-tools. The ability to provide breast milk when you are away from your baby (and relieve uncomfortable engorged breasts) will add so much flexibility into your new-mom life.

For quick trips out and super-easy in-your-bag transport, opt for a manual pump like the Lansinoh Manual Breast Pump .

If you will be away from your baby for longer periods of time (traveling or working outside the home, for example) an electric pump is your most efficient bet. The Medela Pump In Style Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump is a classic go-to that will absolutely get the job done, and then some.

10. For quality storage: Breast milk bags

Once you pump your liquid gold, aka breast milk, you'll need a place to store it. The Kiinde Twist Pouches allow you to pump directly into the bags which means one less step (and way less to clean).

11. For keeping cool: A freezer bag

Transport your pumped milk back home to your baby safely in a cooler like the Mommy Knows Best Breast Milk Baby Bottle Cooler Bag. Remember to put the milk in a fridge or freezer as soon as you can to optimize how long it stays usable for.

12. For continued nourishment: Bottles

Nothing beats the peace of mind you get when you know that your baby is being well-taken of care—and well fed—until you can be together again. The Philips Avent Natural Baby Bottle Newborn Starter Gift Set is a fan favorite (mama and baby fans alike).

This article is sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.

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A viral video about car seat safety has parents everywhere cracking up and humming Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

"I like safe kids and I cannot lie," raps Norman Regional Health System pediatric hospitalist Dr. Kate Cook (after prefacing her music video with an apology to her children."I'm a doctor tryin' warn you that recs have changed," she continues.

Dr. Cook's rap video is all about the importance of keeping babies facing backward. It's aptly called "Babies Face Back," and uses humor and parody to drive home car seat recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

"Switching from rear-facing to forward-facing is a milestone many parents can't wait to reach," Dr. Cook said in a news release about her hilarious video. "But this is one area where you want to delay the transition as long as possible because each one actually reduces the protection to the child."

Last summer the AAP updated its official stance on car seat safety to be more in line with what so many parents were already doing and recommended that kids stay rear-facing for as long as possible. But with so many things to keep track of in life, it is understandable that some parents still don't know about the change. Dr. Cook wants to change that with some cringe-worthy rapping.

The AAP recommends:

  • Babies and toddlers should ride in a rear-facing car safety seat as long as possible, until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their seat.
  • Once they are facing forward, children should use a forward-facing car safety seat with a harness for as long as possible. Many seats are good up to 65 pounds.
  • When children outgrow their car seat they should use a belt-positioning booster seat until the vehicle's lap and shoulder seat belt fits properly, between 8 and 12 years old.

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[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

Suicide rates for girls and women in the United States have increased 50% since 2000, according to the CDC and new research indicates a growing number of pregnant and postpartum women are dying by suicide and overdose. Suicide rates for boys and men are up, too.

It's clear there is a mental health crisis in America and it is robbing children of their mothers and mothers of their children.

Medical professionals urge people to get help early, but sometimes getting help is not so simple. For many Americans, the life preserver that is mental health care is out of reach when they are drowning.

Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg just released a plan he hopes could change that and says the neglect of mental health in the United States must end. "Our plan breaks down the barriers around mental health and builds up a sense of belonging that will help millions of suffering Americans heal," says Buttigieg.

He thinks he can "prevent 1 million deaths of despair by 2028" by giving Americans more access to mental health and addictions services.

In a country where giving birth can put a mother in debt, it's not surprising that while as many as 1 in 5 new moms suffers from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, more than half of new moms who need mental health treatment don't get it. Stigma, childcare and of course costs are factors in why women aren't seeking help when they are struggling.

Buttigieg's plan is interesting because it could remove some of these barriers. He wants to make mental health care more affordable by ensuring everyone has comprehensive coverage for mental health care and by ensuring that everyone can access a free yearly mental health check-up.

That could make getting help more affordable for some moms, and by increasing reimbursement rates for mental health care delivered through telehealth, this plan could help moms get face time with a medical professional without having to deal with finding childcare first.

Estimates from new research suggest that in some parts of America as many as 14% or 30% of maternal deaths are caused by addiction or suicide. Buttigieg's plan aims to reduce those estimates by fighting the addiction and opioid crisis and increasing access to mental health services in underserved communities and for people of color. He also wants to reduce the stigma and increase support for the next generation by requiring "every school across the country to teach Mental Health First Aid courses."

These are lofty goals with a lofty price tag. It would cost about $300 billion to do what Buttigieg sets out in his plan and the specifics of how the plan would be funded aren't yet known. Neither is how voters will react to this 18-page plan and whether it will help Buttigieg stand out in a crowded field of Democratic candidates.

What we do know is that right now, America is talking about mental health and whether or not that benefits Buttigieg's campaign it will certainly benefit America.

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[Editor's Note: Welcome to It's Science, a Motherly column focusing on evidence-based explanations for the important moments, milestones, and phenomena of motherhood. Because it's not just you—#itsscience.]

If you breastfeed, you know just how magical (and trying) it is, but it has numerous benefits for mama and baby. It is known to reduce the likelihood of developing cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis, and cuts the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by half.

If this wasn't powerful enough, scientists have discovered that babies who are fed breast milk have a stomach pH that promotes the formation of HAMLET (Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumor cells). HAMLET was discovered by chance when researchers were studying the antibacterial properties of breast milk. This is a combination of proteins and lipids found in breast milk that can work together to kill cancer cells, causing them to pull away from healthy cells, shrink and die, leaving the healthy cells unaffected.

According to researchers at Lund University in Sweden, this mechanism may contribute to the protective effect breast milk has against pediatric tumors and leukemia, which accounts for about 30% of all childhood cancer. Other researchers analyzed 18 different studies, finding that "14% to 19% of all childhood leukemia cases may be prevented by breastfeeding for six months or more."

And recently, doctors in Sweden collaborated with scientists in Prague to find yet another amazing benefit to breast milk. Their research demonstrated that a certain milk sugar called Alpha1H, found only in breast milk, helps in the production of lactose and can transform into a different form that helps break up tumors into microscopic fragments in the body.

Patients who were given a drug based on this milk sugar, rather than a placebo, passed whole tumor fragments in their urine. And there is more laboratory evidence to support that the drug can kill more than 40 different types of cancer cells in animal trials, including brain tumors and colon cancer. These results are inspiring scientists to continue to explore HAMLET as a novel approach to tumor therapy and make Alpha1H available to cancer patients.

Bottom line: If you choose to breastfeed, the breast milk your baby gets from your hard work can be worth every drop of effort.

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