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Preparing for your first baby after years of responsibility-free fun in New York takes more than just researching the best strollers and birthing centers. For me, it also meant cramming as much fun as humanly possible into every single remaining baby-free moment. I didn’t want my pregnancy to keep me from doing all the things I used to do (ok, it’s kept me from doing some things, like getting drunk and tying my shoes) before plunging into the world of breastfeeding and babysitters. Going to see live music has always been a big part of my social life, but concert-going can be rough when your feet are swollen and you have to pee every 30 seconds. Although I don’t think that any music venue in town was set up with the comfort of pregnant women in mind, some venues can still be pretty great places to see a show, while others should probably be avoided altogether.

I rated five New York City venues with special attention paid to four criteria: sightlines (if you have to squeeze to the front of the crowd to see the stage, you might as well just go home), bathroom access, seating availability, and strange looks, which is maybe the least crucial of the four, but no one likes feeling like the, shall we say, elephant in the room.

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Music Hall of Williamsburg: In my normal life as a not-pregnant person, this is probably my favorite place in the city to see a show. Great programming, top-notch sound, excellent sightlines, and decent bar for hanging out before the show. Even super pregnant, it’s still pretty great. (I saw my last show here at 37-weeks along.) There is a large balcony with seats -- if you can get there early enough to snag one -- and lots of seating at the bar for hanging out between sets. The bathroom situation is perfectly acceptable, and if you must stand on the main floor, you can see perfectly well from just about anywhere. That means you can leave yourself room to make bathroom trips or be the first one out the door to grab a cab at the end of the night. Also, as far as I can tell, most of the people who frequent this place are far too self-absorbed to even notice a giant pregnant belly in their midst.

Glasslands: Upon walking in to Glasslands, I nearly turned right around and left. “I’ve gone too far, I’m a bad mother for even being here,” I thought to myself. This was triggered in part by the bouncer (nicely) asking me to avoid the front of the floor “because there will be a mosh pit,” and in part because I realized what a dump this place is. Then I noticed that they have a balcony, and on that balcony is a plush leather couch that no one seems interested in hanging out on at all. So, I made a little home for myself high above said mosh pit, rested on the couch between bands and had a very good time. The median age at Glasslands seems to be about 20, so they get high marks in the strange-looks department, but I’ll take what I can get. As for the bathrooms, they are gross, but plentiful.

Mercury Lounge: This is not an ideal place to see a show, but it’s fine. Its small size is both a help and a hindrance, since it’s easy to show up just as the headliner starts and get an okay view from the back of the crowd, therefore limiting your time on your feet. There are only two ladies’ room stalls, but the line isn’t usually too long. Generally it’s so crowded in here that most people won’t even be able to see you well enough to tell you’re pregnant, so I’ve never felt out of place. The biggest downside is that it’s hard to find anywhere to sit either in the performance space or at the bar.

Webster Hall: I have always considered Webster Hall something of a necessary evil. It’s not a fantastic place to see a show under any circumstances, but it’s not so terrible that you would skip seeing a band you like just because they are playing there. The sightlines are meh, but you can usually find a reasonable spot without having to try to work your way too far to the front. That said, there’s no seating at all that I’ve ever seen, and the bathroom lines tend towards the ridiculous. I didn’t get any strange looks last time I was there, but I was also at a Breeders concert, so half the people there were probably paying a babysitter that night themselves.

Roseland Ballroom: This place is a nightmare. The line for the bathroom at Roseland is what I imagine the waiting room in hell to be like: endless and full of terrible people. When you are done waiting on that line, you’d better not be hoping for a bottle of water or a soda, because the line for the bar is just as long -- and it’s cash only. The programming here is all over the place -- everyone from Crystal Castles to LL Cool J have played here in recent months -- so I can’t really rate it in the strange-looks department. I can say that it is huge, so standing in the back isn’t a great way to see the show, but squeezing through the crowd to the front isn’t really an option either, and there’s nowhere at all to sit. Oh, and it’s in midtown.

A few general tips for your viewing pleasure:

- Flat, comfortable shoes and a small, light purse are crucial.

- Stick to the back. Being in a tightly packed crowd can be uncomfortable, and possibly unsafe if the drunk person next to you starts jumping around like its Seattle in the 90s.

- If you’re like me, you’re thirsty most of the time. Bring a water bottle with you. Maybe security will give you a hard time for it, but mostly they don’t want to mess with a pregnant lady, and you’ll save some time waiting at the bar.

- Let people be nice to you. Concert-goers have brought me stools to sit on, let me cut the bathroom line and offered other measures of kindness that you can’t go in expecting, but they can certainly make your night better.

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Sometimes it can feel like toys are a mama's frenemy. While we love the idea of entertaining our children and want to give them items that make them happy, toys can end up taking the joy out of our own motherhood experience. For every child begging for another plastic figurine, there's a mama who spends her post-bedtime hours digging toys out from under the couch, dining room table and probably her own bed.

Like so many other moms, I've often found myself between this rock and hard place in parenting. I want to encourage toys that help with developmental milestones, but struggle to control the mess. Is there a middle ground between clutter and creative play?

Enter: Lovevery.

lovevery toys

Lovevery Play Kits are like the care packages you wish your child's grandparent would send every month. Expertly curated by child development specialists, each kit is crafted to encourage your child's current developmental milestones with beautiful toys and insightful activity ideas for parents. A flip book of how-tos and recommendations accompanies each box, giving parents not only tips for making the most of each developmental stage, but also explaining how the games and activities benefit those growing brains.

Even better, the toys are legitimately beautiful. Made from eco-friendly, sustainable materials materials and artfully designed, I even find myself less bothered when my toddler leaves hers strewn across the living room floor.

What I really love, though, is that the kits are about so much more than toys. Each box is like a springboard of imaginative, open-ended play that starts with the included playthings and expands into daily activities we can do during breakfast or while driving to and from lessons. For the first time, I feel like a company isn't just trying to sell me more toys―they're providing expert guidance on how to engage in educational play with my child. And with baby kits that range from age 0 to 12 months and toddler kits for ages 13 to 24 months, the kits are there for me during every major step of development I'll encounter as a new mama.

So maybe I'll never love toys―but I will always love spending time with my children. And with Lovevery's unique products, mixing those worlds has become child's play.


This article was sponsored by Lovevery. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Breastfeeding is not easy. But neither is weaning. That's why this powerful photo from Brazilian mama Maya Vorderstrasse is going viral. Her husband captured the first time she ever breastfed their second daughter and next to it, almost two years later, the last time she fed their daughter from her breast.

And it's not just the photo that is powerful. In her caption Maya shares her emotional struggles with weaning and the tricks they used to make this transition easier for their youngest daughter. The caption reads:

"The first and last time my precious daughter ever nursed.

I didn't know that one person could feel so proud and so broken at the same time, right now I am a hormonal, emotional, and mental mess.

Raising my arm in this picture was very difficult for me as I had to fight through uncontrollable tears: this picture meant that I would never breastfeed my daughter ever again. I have been nursing for so long, that I don't know what it's like to not nurse anymore.



As I looked behind the camera, my husband is crying like I had never seen him cry before, like seriously, a deep gut cry. I was her comfort, her safe place, and I hope she still finds me that way. A month shy of 2 years old, she finally has a bed in a shared bedroom with her sister. We bought her her first bed, used any distraction we could come up with, snacks and new toys to keep her mind off of it.

My husband has taken over bedtime completely, including all nighttime wakings. We are on our third day, and every day gets a little bit easier. The guilt I feel for not putting her to bed is so intense and I can't wait to go back to it once she doesn't ask to nurse anymore. Closing a chapter is painful, but I am hopeful that this new season of our lives will also be special in its own way.

Through this maturation step she will not only grow more independent, but I will get a much needed break. She unlatched for the last time and sobbingly I said to my husband: "I did my best". He hugged me and responded with: "No. You did THE best, because you gave her your all". I love my family and am so thankful for such special and unforgettable moments like these. 💛

*my lazy boob has no clue about what's going on, but thoughts and prayers are accepted for my good one, I really think it might explode🤱🏻

**thank you to my husband, for insisting on filming this, I will treasure this forever.🤳🏼👩"

You've got this mama!

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If you're looking for basics for the kids for summer, you're in luck, mama. Primary clothes don't have logos or sparkles—they're classic prints and colors that can easily transition from one kid to the next. And this week, Primary is celebrating the new season with a major summer sale.

Items, like swimsuits, dresses, polos and more, are over 50% off. Most pieces are under $10 so you can stock up on an entire new wardrobe without breaking the budget.

Here's what we're adding to our carts—shop the entire sale here:

1. Baby rainbow stripe rash guard

With UPF 50, you can rest easy knowing baby has extra protection outdoors.

$14.50

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2. The track short

The easy pull-on waist will make outfit changes a breeze.

$10.50

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3. Rainbow stripe one-piece

Cute? Check. Will stay in place? Check. UPF 50? Check.

$18.00

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4. The short sleeve twirly dress

Made of 100% cotton jersey, this one will be a staple all summer long.

$10.00

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5. The polo babysuit

Perfect to dress up or down.

$8.00

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Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Being an adult is no joke. Beyond dressing ourselves and our kids and, ya know, feeding and bathing everyone, there are so many other things that life throws at us. And because we're adults, we have to take care of these myriad to-dos. Welcome to: Adulting!

I'm not just talking laundry, filling up your car's gas tank and stocking the fridge with groceries. Getting life insurance. Refinancing your loan debt. (Students loans? Us, too.) Marriage counseling. Yep—I'm talking about all the cringe-inducing to-dos that you've likely been putting off for a few months… or years.

But guess what? Because it's 2019 and a little something called technology exists, these seemingly heavy-lift tasks are now a whole lot easier and faster to tackle. Here's how to check off your most tedious adulting chores.

The life insurance

When you're a single with no descendants, life insurance doesn't seem like a top priority. But when you suddenly have a kid (or three), setting your family up for longterm financial success is a must. And thanks to Ladders, obtaining a policy isn't the taxing, cringe-inducing process it used to be! Modern and so easy to use—seriously, you can even get one from your phone or tablet—Ladders makes it possible to obtain a policy in under five minutes. Yes, really. See? No need to procrastinate!

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The student loan redux

You have the degree and the career—and you also have the debt. And like us, you're likely just paying your monthly minimums without a thought to ever refinancing your student loans. Because that sounds hard and complicated, right? Right. Not so with help from Laurel Road, however. On this straight-forward site you can check your rates in only a few minutes —fear not, doing so won't impact to your credit score!—and refinance your debt, saving yourself (and your family) thousands of dollars.

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The marriage counselor

Did you know that 66% of couples report a drop in marital satisfaction when new arrives? It's not surprising considering the stress an infant creates for mamas alone, but all that pressure affects your relationship, too. But taking the time to really invest in marriage counseling often falls to the bottom of the to-do lists because of the many hurdles—finding a therapist, traveling to appointments, the cost of copays or out-of-pocket fees, the stigma of need therapy. With Lasting, however, you and your partner pair your apps and can begin working on your relationship together on your own timeline.

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Motherly is your daily #momlife manual. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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A lot of women are literally walking around in fashion mogul Jessica Simpson's shoes, but there was no way she was going to be getting her feet into any of the footwear with her name on while she was pregnant.

A few months ago, back when she was still super pregnant with her third child, Simpson posted a photo of her left foot on Instagram and honestly, just looking at it was painful.

"Any remedies?! Help!!!!" she captioned the pic of her incredibly swollen ankle and foot. Thankfully, now that she's in her fourth trimester and no longer pregnant, Simpson's feet have chilled out. She posted a new pic with the caption: "I spy....my ankles!!!!

Before + after

The commenters on Instagram are now as happy for Jessica as they were were as shocked back when she posted the first foot photo.

"Omg Jessica call your Dr. Keep feet up lower salt intake and no heels," one wrote (although the last bit seems like it probably wouldn't be an option even if she wanted to wear them).

Calling the doctor is not a bad idea if your foot look's like Simpson's before photo, because swelling during pregnancy can be a sign of preeclampsia, according to the Preeclampsia Foundation, which notes that "a certain amount of swelling is normal during pregnancy," but suggests that moms-to-be watch out for "pitting edema" (which means that when you press on the skin an indentation stays for a bit) and leg discoloration.

"If you suspect this kind of edema, notify your healthcare provider. You should also put your feet up every day, but avoid sitting for extended periods of time," the foundation states on its website.

What mamas need to know about swollen feet

Simpson took her swelling with a sense of humor, posting a before and after pic of some super high wedges and her swollen pregnancy foot with the caption #tenyearchallenge, but swelling can be serious in pregnancy.

It can be related peripartum cardiomyopathy a rare kind of heart failure that can develop in the last month of pregnancy or in the first five months postpartum, but, according to the the American Heart Association, isn't easy to diagnose as the symptoms (like swollen ankles) are also symptoms of third trimester pregnancy.

So swelling is something to watch and definitely talk to a health care provider about—but it also happens in many uncomplicated pregnancies, as a lot of Jessica's IG followers pointed out. "That happened to me with my 1st pregnancy. Lots of elevation for my feet and fluids. Watch the sodium intake. Hang in there," one mama wrote, throwing in a 💞 emoji.

Jessica Simpson just launched a collection of flats 

Another commenter offered a funny story to put Jessica at ease: "My feet looked like this the last month of my pregnancy (if not worse) and I had normal BP and didn't have preeclampsia. I'm 5'0" and retained so much water. My OB-GYN at the time (a 65 year old man) told me that I had what he called "Fiona feet"....yep, the ogre from Shrek. Yep. 🤦🏼♀️ Needless to say, I switched doctors after my daughter was born."

Jessica Simpson's shoe collection currently includes a wedges, booties and a gorgeous stacked stiletto, and she recently launched a collection of flats, which should be helpful to all the mamas-to-be who have swollen feet (although not as swollen as hers were, she should design an extra-wide slipper for that season of life).

[A version of this post was originally published January 11, 2019. It has been updated.]

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