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‘How could I ever love another child this much?’ You will, mama

Once another baby grows inside you and as you watch your bump grow, you will feel your heart grow, too. 

‘How could I ever love another child this much?’ You will, mama

Dear first-time Mama,

You have been thinking about it.


It has crossed your mind and you have mulled it over in your head.

Family planning cards are on the table.

You have contemplated baby #2, but something is holding you back.

You are hesitant. Wondering when the time is right. Will it ever be right?

You are still lulled in the wonderment of first-time motherhood enjoying every moment with your child and lingering in every milestone, every hug and every kiss in amazement at this beautiful little human being that nature has given you. Because this little human being made you whole.  It gave you purpose.

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It made you Mother.

It opened you up to an entire new level of life and a whole newfangled depth of love.

You love this little creature with a special kind of love. A love you never knew before. Words are failing you to describe it.

You fear that you won’t be able to love another child. Not like this.

And you are right. You won’t.

First-borns are special.

They are the gatekeeper to the novelty of motherhood and parenthood.

When you became a mother you embarked on the most amazing journey of your life. You embarked on this virgin voyage and together with your baby you experience all the firsts.

The love you feel for this little soul is beyond explanation. It humbles you.

Watching yourself transform into Mother is life changing. You live and breathe motherhood and devote every waking hour to becoming the best mother you can be as you grow in love, understanding and compassion every day.

How does a second child fit into this picture? Perhaps you see a second child as a distractor from your perfect first-born that will take half your motherly love from them.

How could you possible love another as much and in the same way?

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I recall becoming a mom for the first time. Oh the excitement! The disbelief of nature’s miracle that was growing inside me. It was a big deal. I had waited for this all my life. I had longed for this day since I was a girl.

I prepared for months to get ready for this baby.

I wasn’t ready when he was finally born 9 days late. No amount of books or research could have prepared me. What happened when he was born was powerful. The amount of love that that filled my heart and every fiber in my body the minute I saw his little face was overwhelming. He was perfect. He was the apple of my eye and I gave him all of me for 4.5 years.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I faced similar fears. I worried. How could another child possibly match up to him? How could I love two children the same?

I have four children now and I know this to be true—


Each time a new child comes into the family, the prism turns and shines it’s light on a whole new kind of love that you don’t know yet exists. The shades of love are infinite. Such is the light of a mother’s love. It is ever growing and endless.

Once another baby grows inside you and as you watch your bump grow, you will feel your heart grow, too.

The love you have for your second child, or any subsequent children, won’t be the same as the love you have now for your first-born. It will be a different shade of beautiful infinite love and all it takes will be meeting them for the first time.

Trust me on this one!

Love,
The mom who loves all her four children in a different shade of love.


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Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Tenth & Pine: Gender-neutral and butter-soft basics for littles + bigs

In 2016, after a stage four endometriosis diagnosis and a 10 year battle with infertility, Tenth & Pine founder Kerynn got her miracle baby, Ezra Jade. As a SAHM with a Masters in Business, she wanted to create a brand that focused on premium quality, function, comfort, and simplicity.

She sought out premium, all natural fabrics and factories that shared her core values, practicing environmentally friendly manufacturing methods with fair and safe working conditions for employees. As a result, her made in the USA, gender-neutral designs check all the boxes. The sustainable, organic basics are perfect for everyday wear, family photos and any adventure in between.

Lucy Lue Organics: Sustainably and ethically-produced modern baby clothes

This family-owned and operated business was started by a mama who wanted out of corporate America after the birth of her son. Thoughtfully designed to mix-and-match, Lucy Lue's sustainably and ethically produced collection of modern organic baby clothes only uses fabrics that are "environmentally friendly from seed to seam." Their gorgeous, earthy tones and comfy, minimalist styles make the perfect addition to first wardrobes from birth through the first years.

Sontakey: Simple bracelets that speak your mind

Sontakey has been such a hit in the Motherly Shop that we knew it was time to expand the line. And since these beautiful mantra bands look so stunning stacked, more options = more fun.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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Time-saving formula tips our editors swear by

Less time making bottles, more time snuggling.

As a new parent, it can feel like feeding your baby is a full-time job—with a very demanding nightshift. Add in the additional steps it takes to prepare a bottle of formula and, well… we don't blame you if you're eager to save some time when you can. After all, that means more time for snuggling your baby or practicing your own well-deserved self-care.

Here's the upside: Many, many formula-feeding mamas before you have experienced the same thing, and they've developed some excellent tricks that can help you mix up a bottle in record time. Here are the best time-saving formula tips from editors here at Motherly.

1. Use room temperature water

The top suggestion that came up time and time again was to introduce bottles with room temperature water from the beginning. That way, you can make a bottle whenever you need it without worrying about warming up water—which is a total lifesaver when you have to make a bottle on the go or in the middle of the night.

2. Buy online to save shopping time

You'll need a lot of formula throughout the first year and beyond—so finding a brand like Comforts, which offers high-quality infant formula at lower prices, will help you save a substantial amount of money. Not to mention, you can order online or find the formula on shelves during your standard shopping trip—and that'll save you so much time and effort as well.

3. Pre-measure nighttime bottles

The middle of the night is the last time you'll want to spend precious minutes mixing up a bottle. Instead, our editors suggest measuring out the correct amount of powder formula into a bottle and putting the necessary portion of water on your bedside table. That way, all you have to do is roll over and combine the water and formula in the bottle before feeding your baby. Sounds so much better than hiking all the way to the kitchen and back at 3 am, right?

4. Divide serving sizes for outings

Before leaving the house with your baby, divvy up any portions of formula and water that you may need during your outing. Then, when your baby is hungry, just combine the pre-measured water and powder serving in the bottle. Our editors confirm this is much easier than trying to portion out the right amount of water or formula while riding in the car.

5. Memorize the mental math

Soon enough, you'll be able to prepare a bottle in your sleep. But, especially in the beginning or when increasing your baby's serving, the mental math can take a bit of time. If #mombrain makes it tough to commit the measurements to memory, write up a cheat sheet for yourself or anyone else who will prepare your baby's bottle.

6. Warm up chilled formula with water

If you're the savvy kind of mom who prepares and refrigerates bottles for the day in advance, you'll probably want to bring it up to room temperature before serving. Rather than purchase a bottle warmer, our editors say the old-fashioned method works incredibly well: Just plunge the sealed bottle in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes and—voila!—it's ready to serve.



Another great tip? Shop the Comforts line on Comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices. Or, follow @comfortsforbaby for more information!

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Mothers wanted the president to condemn white supremacy—he didn't

What you need to know about the first presidential debate and the 'Proud Boys'.

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[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

For many American families, the impacts of systemic racism are a daily reality. This summer saw mothers and children go out and join Black Lives Matter protests in an effort to make the United States a safer place for Black children.

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Individuals across the country stood up and condemned white supremacy in 2020 and wanted the sitting President of the United States to do that Tuesday night, during the first presidential debate.

But he didn't.

When Chris Wallace of Fox News, the debate moderator, asked President Trump to condemn white supremacy, to ask militia groups to stand down and not escalate violence in cities like Kenosha and Portland, the president stated he was willing to...but when Wallace said "Then do it, sir," the president's answer was far from a clear condemnation.

First, Trump asked for a specific group to condemn, rather than simply condemning white supremacy as a whole. When the others on stage offered "white supremacy" and "Proud Boys" as the name to condemn, the President picked Proud Boys. But a condemnation didn't come.

"Proud Boys, stand back and stand by," Trump said. "But I'll tell you what, somebody's gotta do something about Antifa and the left. This is not a right-wing problem. This is a left-wing problem."

This followed a previous exchange in which Wallace asked President Trump why he ended a racial sensitivity training program. Trump responded that the training was racist and was teaching people to "hate our country."

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