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I came of age during the Friends and Seinfeld years, and I had always been team Seinfeld. I thought the latter show was sharper, grittier, more original, more realistic. But now, I find myself drawn toward the arguably more mindless, though perhaps less intense, phenomenon that is Friends.

It's what I queue up on Netflix when I need something silly. It's what I watch clips of on YouTube when I need a quick laugh. I no longer have the energy for watching the terrible characters that made Seinfeld so iconic, even when I know the ending—instead, I much prefer the lighter tone and predictable plotting of Friends. And now, I can actually say that Friends has saved my marriage.

Recently, my husband and I had our home life blow up. Both kids had just been sick at the same time (resulting in lots of missed work for both of us), we were having our basement redone, we were having family coming to town, we were reviewing important legal documents like a will—obviously, we had a lot of stuff going on. We were barely keeping our heads above water.

But then the drowning came figuratively and literally after five straight days of rain, an unusual occurrence where we live. The contractors redoing our basement had jackhammered out part of the floor for plumbing work, which caused a giant hole in the foundation. This coupled with the six inches of rain in less than a week, caused our basement to flood.

We called the contractor immediately to halt everything. We called a flood mitigation company immediately for an estimate. We called our insurance company immediately to see how many savings we could salvage.

That isn't entirely accurate. I should say that my husband called the contractor. My husband called the flood mitigators. My husband called the insurance.

He's always been the go-to person for household matters. He meets with contractors, he deals with monthly budgeting, he mows the lawn.

I am the person to make doctor's appointments for the kids, research daycares and arrange activities, deal with legal documents and school forms. Not that we stick to traditional gender roles on purpose—that's just what we naturally gravitate to and what we're good at doing. We both share the everyday household chores like making dinner, dropping off and picking up kids, and cleaning the house.

And we make it work. Except this time it didn't work. We were drowning along with our house. Suddenly everything got more expensive, more overwhelming, more exhausting. In the midst of all this, we had done the usual: put the kids to bed, cleaned up after dinner, prepped for the next day. We collapsed on the couch. My husband's exact words were, "I'm paralyzed."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him to keep it together, to just. Keep. Going. I tried to assuage him, but only platitudes came out: "It could be much worse. We can come up with the money. We will make things work." But that only seemed to make things worse. He resented me for downplaying his feelings. I resented him for giving up.

Especially since I felt the same way. It was just too much. I didn't know what to do, so I kept keeping on by default. It was like I was a robot, though. I was on survival mode. There was no meaning in my actions.

I dressed the kids while thinking about the water in our basement. I cooked dinner while thinking about the flood in our basement. I drove to work while thinking about the deluge in our basement. I started picturing what he was imagining—the seeping hole in the floor of our basement, swallowing up our belongings, our money, our sanity.

I sensed the same lack of meaning in his actions, and tension grew between us. Neither of us could move, and both of us wanted the other person to do something. We were both drowning in different oceans. We were, at the moment, not partners.

But I was talking about Friends and likening it to my marriage for a reason. I've gotten into the bad habit of watching something in bed before I fall asleep. Recently, I've been bingeing on Friends, because it's mindless and something I can fall asleep to since I've seen it so many times before.

Around this stressful time, I was watching Season 9 and had just finished the episode where Rachel decides to move out of Ross' apartment because he's jealous of her dating (The One Where Monica Sings, for anyone keeping track). In that episode, Rachel says her situation with Ross hadn't been weird because "it works for us." But now, she says since his feelings have intensified, "it's no longer working."

Suddenly, my head was above water again. Rachel's words lit a fire and I could see light again. While I knew internally that our situation changed, hearing Rachel say "it's no longer working" and then figuring a way out of the situation by herself was an epiphany. Her words helped me craft my own, and allowed me to own up to my own realization that what we were doing for so long isn't working anymore, and it's okay to change it.

While this realization may seem like a minor development, it allowed me to be okay with exposing my flaws. It allowed me to be comfortable with admitting that I couldn't handle it all. The very next day I sat down with my husband and used Rachel's words: "This is no longer working for us."

He agreed, and we talked about what we needed to change. He would no longer be solely responsible for the budget; I would no longer be solely responsible for legal issues. I was going to learn how to organize our budget spreadsheet, and he was going to learn how to parse legalese. These abilities were not in our skill sets, but we were going to help each other. We were our own back ups. After all, we had signed up for a partnership so we were going to work that way.

We also weren't going to rush through having the basement redone. Even though we'd spent years saving up for it and had sacrificed other things to save toward it. Now that we'd have to use the money to pay for flood mitigation instead, we decided we would have to be okay with delaying a fancy new finished basement for several months.

We both needed to change our perspectives and admit that we needed some help. We would still need to figure out what that meant exactly, but we were at least moving. That's much better than being paralyzed.

This is how Friends—and specifically, Rachel Green (who perhaps had the largest transformation herself among all the Friends)—saved my marriage. It allowed me to find the feelings—and thus the correct words—to define why we were so miserable.

It helped me become comfortable with change and, more importantly, to engage in actions that would lead to the correct change. After all, I'm not the same person I was 15 years ago, when I was a teenager, student, and daughter, who enjoyed Seinfeld and a booth at Monk's. I've changed into a grown woman, wife, and mother, who now prefers Friends and an orange couch.

Originally posted on BluntMoms.

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With two babies in tow, getting out the door often becomes doubly challenging. From the extra things to carry to the extra space needed in your backseat, it can be easy to feel daunted at the prospect of a day out. But before you resign yourself to life indoors, try incorporating these five genius products from Nuna to get you and the littles out the door. (Because Vitamin D is important, mama!)

1. A brilliant double stroller

You've got more to carry—and this stroller gets it. The DEMI™ grow stroller from Nuna easily converts from a single ride to a double stroller thanks to a few easy-to-install accessories. And with 23 potential configurations, you're ready to hit the road no matter what life throws at you.

DEMI™ grow stroller
$799.95, Nuna

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2. A light car seat

Lugging a heavy car seat is the last thing a mama of two needs to have on her hands. Instead, pick up the PIPA™ lite, a safe, svelte design that weighs in at just 5.3 pounds (not counting the canopy or insert)—that's less than the average newborn! When you need to transition from car to stroller, this little beauty works seamlessly with Nuna's DEMI™ grow.

PIPA™ lite car seat
$349.95, Nuna

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3. A super safe car seat base

The thing new moms of multiples really need to get out the door? A little peace of mind. The PIPA™ base features a steel stability leg for maximum security that helps to minimize forward rotation during impact by up to 90% (compared to non-stability leg systems) and 5-second installation for busy mamas.

PIPA™ base
(included with purchase of PIPA™ series car seat or) Nuna, $159.95

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4. A diaper bag you want to carry

It's hard to find an accessory that's as stylish as it is functional. But the Nuna diaper bag pulls out all the stops with a sleek design that perfectly conceals a deceptively roomy interior (that safely stores everything from extra diapers to your laptop!). And with three ways to wear it, even Dad will want to take this one to the park.

Diaper bag
$179.95, Nuna

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5. A crib that travels

Getting a new baby on a nap schedule—while still getting out of the house—is hard. But with the SENA™ aire mini, you can have a crib ready no matter where your day takes you. It folds down and pops up easily for sleepovers at grandma's or unexpected naps at your friend's house, and the 360-degree ventilation ensures a comfortable sleep.

SENA aire mini
$199.95, Nuna

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With 5 essentials that are as flexible as you need to be, the only thing we're left asking is, where are you going to go, mama?

This article was sponsored by Nuna. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.


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Parents in New Jersey will soon get more money and more time for parental leave after welcoming a baby.

This week New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy signed off on legislation that extends New Jersey's paid family leave from six weeks to 12.

It also increases the benefit cap from 53% of the average weekly wage to 70%, meaning the maximum benefit for a parent on family leave will be $860 a week, up from $650.

It might not seem like a huge difference, but by raising the benefit from two-thirds of a parent's pay to 85%, lawmakers in New Jersey are hoping to encourage more parents to actually take leave, which is good for the parents, their baby and their family. "Especially for that new mom and dad, we know that more time spent bonding with a child can lead to a better long-term outcome for that child," Murphy said at a press conference this week.

The law will also make it easier for people to take time off when a family member is sick.

Because NJ's paid leave is funded through payroll deductions, workers could see an increase in those deductions, but Murphy is betting that workers and businesses will see the benefits in increasing paid leave benefits. "Morale goes up, productivity goes up, and more money goes into the system," Murphy said. "And increasingly, companies big and small realize that a happy workforce and a secure workforce is a key ingredient to their success."

The new benefits will go into effect in July 2020 (making next Halloween a good time to get pregnant in the Garden State).

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Whether you just need to stock up on diapers or you've had your eye on a specific piece of baby gear, you might want to swing by your local Walmart this Saturday, February 23rd.

Walmart's big "Baby Savings Day" is happening from 10:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. at participating Walmarts (but more deals can be found online at Walmart.com already and the website deals are happening for the rest of the month).

About 3,000 of the 3,570 Supercenter locations are participating in the sale (check here to see if your local Walmart is).

The deals vary, but in general you can expect up to 30% off on items like cribs, strollers, car seats, wipes, diapers and formula.

Some items, like this Graco Modes 3 Lite Travel System have been marked down by more than $100. Other hot items include this Lille Baby Complete Carrier (It's usually $119, going for $99 during the sale) and the Graco 4Ever 4-in-1 Convertible Car Seat (for as low as $199).

So if you're in need of baby gear, you should check out this sale. Travel gear isn't the only category that's been marked down, there are some steep discounts on breast pumps, too.

Many of the Walmart locations will also be offering samples and expert demos of certain products on Saturday so it's worth checking out!

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Any Schumer has not had an easy pregnancy. She intended to keep working, but if you follow her on social media you know she's been very sick through each trimester.

And now in her final trimester she's had to cancel her tour due to hyperemesis gravidarum, also known as HG. It's a rare but very serious form of extreme morning sickness, and on Friday evening Schumer announced she is canceling the rest of her tour because of it.

“I vomit every time [I] ride in a car even for 5 minutes," Schumer explained in an Instagram post.

Due to the constant vomiting she's not cleared to fly and just can't continue to the tour.

This is not the first time Schumer has had to make an announcement about HG. Back in November, just weeks after announcing her pregnancy, she had to cancel shows and again broke the news via Instagram.

She posted a photo of herself in a hospital bed with her little dog Tati, and spelled out the details of her health issues in the caption. "I have hyperemesis and it blows," Schumer wrote.

Poor Amy. Hyperemesis gravidarum is really tough.

Kate Middleton, Ayesha Curry and Motherly co-founder Elizabeth Tenety are among those who, like Schumer, have suffered from this form of severe morning sickness that can be totally debilitating.

As she previously wrote for Motherly, Tenety remembers becoming desperately ill, being confined to her apartment (mostly her bed) and never being far from a trash can, "I lost 10% of my body weight. I became severely dehydrated. I couldn't work. I couldn't even get out of bed. I could barely talk on the phone to tell my doctor how sick I was—begging them to please give me something, anything—to help."

Thankfully, she found relief through a prescription for Zofran, an anti-nausea drug.


Schumer probably knows all about that drug. It looks she is getting the medical help she obviously needs, and she was totally right to cancel the tour in order to stay as healthy as possible.

We're glad to see Schumer is getting help, and totally understand why she would have to cancel her shows. Any mama who has been through HG will tell you, that wouldn't be a show you'd want front row seats for anyway.

Get well soon, Amy!

[A version of this post was published November 15, 2018. It has been updated.]

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As a military spouse, Cydney Cooper is used to doing things alone. But when she delivered her twin daughters early after complications due to Influenza A, she was missing her husband Skylar more than ever.

Recovering from the flu and an emergency C-section, and trying to parent the couple's two older boys and be with her new infant daughters in the NICU, Cydney was exhausted and scared and just wanted her husband who was deployed in Kuwait with the Army and wasn't expected home for weeks.

Alone in the NICU 12 days after giving birth, Cydney was texting an update on the twins to her husband when he walked through the door to shoulder some of the massive burden this mama was carrying.

"I was typing up their summary as best I could and trying to remember every detail to tell him when I looked up and saw him standing there. Shock, relief, and the feeling that everything was just alright hit me at once. I just finally let go," she explains in a statement to Motherly.

The moment was captured on video thanks to a family member who was in on Skylar's surprise and the reunion has now gone viral, having been viewed millions of times. It's an incredible moment for the couple who hadn't seen each other since Skylar had a three-day pass in seven months earlier.

Cydney had been caring for the couple's two boys and progressing in her pregnancy when, just over a week before the viral video was taken, she tested positive for Influenza A and went into preterm labor. "My husband was gone, my babies were early, I had the flu, and I was terrified," she tells Motherly.

"Over the next 48 hours they were able to stop my labor and I was discharged from the hospital. It only lasted two days and I went right back up and was in full on labor that was too far to stop."

Cydney needed an emergency C-section due to the babies' positioning, and her medical team could not allow anyone who had previously been around her into the operating room because anyone close to Cydney had been exposed to the flu.

"So I went in alone. The nurses and doctors were wonderful and held my hand through the entire thing but at the same time, I felt very very alone and scared. [Skylar] had been present for our first two and he was my rock and I didn't have him when I wanted him the most. But I did it! He was messaging me the second they wheeled me to recovery. Little did I know he was already working on being on his way."

When he found out his baby girls were coming early Skylar did everything he could to get home, and seeing him walk into the NICU is a moment Cydney will hold in her heart and her memory forever. "I had been having to hop back and forth from our sons to our daughters and felt guilty constantly because I couldn't be with all of them especially with their dad gone. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life and I won't be forgetting it."

It's so hard for a military spouse to do everything alone after a baby comes, and the military does recognize this. Just last month the Army doubled the amount of leave qualifying secondary caregivers (most often dads) can take after a birth or adoption, from 10 days to 21 so that moms like Cydney don't have to do it all alone.

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