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The parents’ guide to doing it: Motherly + The Longest Shortest Time

“Don’t let creativity leave your relationships—ever. Stay young, lovers. Keep learning.”

The parents’ guide to doing it: Motherly + The Longest Shortest Time

Motherly has partnered with Hillary Frank and The Longest Shortest Time podcast to bring you insights from their five years of publishing stories from the front lines of parenthood.


In Episode #68, The Parents’ Guide to Doing It Frank chats with Twanna Hines, a.k.a. The Funky Brown Chick an award winning sex educator, and Dr. Hilda Hutcherson who is nationally renowned expert in the field of women’s health and author of What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex and Pleasure: A Woman’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need and Deserve to get some answers to listeners sex advice questions.

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“Don’t let creativity leave your relationships—ever. Stay young, lovers. Keep learning.”—Twanna Hines

Listeners call in with questions ranging from how to get your husband to be a better kisser, how the heck you and your partner can have sex if you co-sleep with your child, and overcoming dry spells.

Check out the podcast to listen in on this racy, honest, and helpful(!) episode. Here are a few things we learned from this one:

Model what you want

If you’re craving something that you’re not getting from your partner—like the listener who asked how she could get her husband to be a better kisser—model what you want. Say, “Tonight I want you to let me do whatever I want to do to you.” We’re thinking this will be very well received indeed.

Low libido?

If you or your partner are dealing with a low libido due to depression, the side effect of an antidepressant, breastfeeding, fatigue, etc. Twanna Hines would like to remind you that, “Everybody has something that’s different for them. Realize there is no such thing as normal.” Our society puts a lot of pressure on couple’s to be having lots of sex—all the time. It’s just not realistic for everyone, and that’s okay.

As for getting back in the saddle, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson said that “When you haven’t had sex for a long time, it can be very awkward to get back into it. How do you just all of a sudden say—let’s go. Tonight’s the night.”

So, what do you do?

“You have to take it slowly,” she says, “first you have to communicate—like always—in a couple, about the importance of sex to the relationship. When you have that conversation, you then probably need to start very slowly with something that’s not so intimate, like a massage, then kissing.” Round those bases again, like you’re teenagers! Build up to the main event.

Tips on conception sex

When you’re trying to have a baby, how do you make it feel less like a chore?

Twanna Hines says, “If it feels like a chore, that’s because right now, it is a chore.” And comparing sex to something like washing the dishes is not sexy. She reminds us to always come back to the question, “Why are you trying to have a child in the first place?” Reminding yourselves of this is a much healthier and happier way to steer your thoughts back to what’s important.

Dr. Hilda shares that she was once the person obsessing over conception sex. She explains how she went through medical school and her residency, and all of a sudden she was 32 and felt that she needed to “get this baby out.”

She goes on to say, “The first time was just impossible. I thought if I stopped taking birth control pills, then I was going to be pregnant the next month—it didn’t work. So there we were taking my temperature, using ovulation predictor kits [checking mucus].” Dr. Hilda talks about how she felt bad for the way she treated her husband during this process, telling him how he had it easy—that he basically only had one, quick job.

She would demand sex the second her ovulation kit changed colors, and eventually realized that putting this sort of pressure on her husband wasn’t fair—and it wasn’t working. That pressure to perform can often have the opposite effect.

How do you take that pressure off? Dr. Hilda eventually stopped letting her husband know when she was ovulating. She would know, and she’d put something sexy on and turn up the heat; she made sex fun again.

Sex + co-sleeping

Dr. Hilda says, “The one thing I always tell my patients when they’re pregnant is—do not put that baby in the bed. My first child was in the bed...it took me three years to get that child out of my bed!” Her and her husband would sneak into the bathroom to have sex.

At this point in the conversation, Frank lets Dr. Hilda and Twanna know that this was a controversial topic on the last parents’ guide to sex episode. Both experts were against co-sleeping, and Frank received a ton of listener emails saying, “But I DO co-sleep and I firmly believe in co-sleeping, so what can you tell me?”

Twanna shared a slightly different opinion than Dr. Hilda, “I still think people can co-sleep with their kid if they want to, because here’s my thinking—sex doesn’t always have to take place in the bedroom. You can shower with your partner, you can have sex in your partner’s office—a bunch of different places. If [co-sleeping] is working for you, if that is important to you—have sex somewhere else.”

Take a listen

Share with Motherly what surprised you about sex after becoming a mama?:

These are only the vitamins I give my children and here's why

It's hard to say who loves these more—my kids or me.

When I became a mama five years ago, I didn't put too much thought into whether my son was getting the right vitamins and minerals. From breastfeeding to steaming and pureeing his first bites of solid food, I was confident I was giving him everything to support his growth and development.

But then the toddler years—and the suddenly picky palate that accompanied them—came along. Between that challenge and two additional children in the mix… well, I knew my oldest son's eating plan was falling short in some vitamin and mineral categories.

I also knew how quickly he was growing, so I wanted to make sure he was getting the nutrients he needed (even on those days when he said "no, thank you" to any veggie I offered).

So when I discovered the new line of children's supplements from Nature's Way®, it felt like a serious weight off my chest. Thanks to supplements that support my children's musculoskeletal growth, their brain function, their immune systems, their eyes and more, I'm taken back to that simpler time when I was so confident my kids' vitamin needs were met.*

It wasn't just the variety of supplements offered by Nature's Way that won me over: As a vegetarian mama, I'm the picky one in the family when it comes to scanning labels and making sure they meet our standards. The trick is that most gummy vitamins are made with gelatin, which is not vegetarian friendly.

But just like the other offerings from Nature's Way that I've already come to know and love, the children's supplement line is held to a high standard. That means there's no high-fructose corn syrup, gelatin or common allergens to be found in the supplements. The best part? My two oldest kids ensure we never miss their daily vitamins—they are so in love with the gummy flavors, which include tropical fruit punch, lemonade and wild berry.


Nature's Way Kids Mulitvitamin


Meanwhile, my pharmacist husband has different criteria when evaluating supplements, especially when it comes to those for our kids. He appreciates the variety of options from Nature's Way, which gives us the ability to rotate the vitamins based on our kids' daily needs. By keeping various children's supplements from Nature's Way on hand, I can customize a regimen to suit my kids' individual requirements.

Of course, high-quality products often come at a higher price point. But (to my immense gratitude!) that isn't the case with Nature's Way, which retails for a competitive value when compared to the other items on the shelf.

Like all mamas, my chief concern is supporting my children's health in any way I can. While I see evidence of their growth every time I pack away clothes they've outgrown, I know there is much more growth that doesn't meet the eye. That's why, for my oldest son, I like stacking the Brain Builder gummy with the Growing Bones & Muscles gummy and the Happy & Healthy Multi. My 3-year-old also enjoys getting her own mix to include the Healthy Eyes gummy. And both of my older kids are quick to request the Tummy Soothe tablet when something isn't sitting right in their stomachs.* And I'll admit it: I've tried it myself and the berry blast flavor really is tasty!

Although my current phase of motherhood may not be as "simple" as it once was, there is so much to appreciate about it—like watching my kids play and sing and create with their incredible imaginations. Along the way, I've eased up on some of my need for control, but it does help to have this range of supplements in my motherhood tool kit. So while I may not be able to convince my son to try kale, having the Nature's Way supplements on hand means I do know he's right on track.*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food & Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.


This article was sponsored by Nature's Way. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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