Spoiler alert: It's complicated. 😴
It's been a long day.
I shuffled the kids to and fro. I changed dirty diapers and sheets and remembered to flip the laundry. I picked clothes up at the dry cleaners, and I dropped my kiddo off at school. I made three different meals for dinner and finished all my emails and edits for work.
There's only one thing I want to do when my tall, handsome man walks through that door.
Only one thing I desire.
Only one thing that will make me feel more amazing than anything else could in the world at this very moment.
I want to take all my clothes off. And get in the shower. And wash this emotionally draining, physically exhausting day off.
Then, I want to crawl into bed and feel the soft sensual touch of my… sheets. And the warm, satisfying embrace of my… comforter. And, truthfully, I just want to hit that… pillow.
And pass out. As fast as I can.
The mom life can be a tiring life that's for sure. (#Preach.)
But then there are the non-exhausting days. Those come around once in a while. They're called unicorn days. And on those days, you want to celebrate with your partner at the end of the day.
You decide to turn the TV off a little earlier than usual those nights. You take the extra precaution of using mouthwash after you brush your teeth for the night, and you crawl into bed—ready to make some magic.
But then, before you even get to second base, your 2-year-old breaks the party up with some very loud crying. So, you get up and check on her. She needs water and goldfish, STAT. You oblige because you'd like to get back to your party next door.
You bring her some water and three goldfish. You figure—that's enough to fulfill her request but also not enough to cause any damage. She eats them, you say goodnight (again) and go back to your room to get back to it.
Oh but then, she calls you back in.
The cries don't sound as intense this time, and it crosses your mind to maybe just ignore them for a little while, because…well...it's been awhile. But let's be honest—you can't focus while hearing someone say "MOOOOM! MOOOOM! MOOOOM!" over and over and over again. (No one wants to hear that name at this kind of party…)
Your husband goes in this time instead. He calms her down by finding her lost pacifier under the bed and singing one song. You hear 'Frère Jacques' from next door and, honestly, if you were a listening-to-music-while-you-have-sex kinda person, you'd probably prefer the soulful croons of John Legend versus a French nursery rhyme (if we're being honest, which...we clearly are).
Okay, so he officially got her back to sleep, and you're both back in bed.
It's now about one hour after this party started and, it's kind of at the point where you're just staying to stay, but you're really, really tired and should go home. The party was fun, and there was a lot of excitement initially—but it's waned a bit because, well, you had a few crashers that weren't supposed to be there.
You and your husband have a quick chat and weigh the pros and cons. It goes something like this: Ugh, we really want to do this and know we should do this, but dang! We're tired, and we have to be up in five hours. I love you. You're hot. So, rain check!
Then you both laugh and fall asleep in about .03 seconds. 😴
Marriage after kids is funny and intense. You two are growing up together. You're learning how to take care of tiny humans who need a lot of things together. You're learning what one another needs in relation to how hard it can be to raise a family—how you can support each other. And sometimes knowing when to sleep—and encouraging one another to do so—is incredibly important. Like, incredibly.
Because you know you love each other beyond measure. You know you're attracted to each other like never before. And you know there are times in your sex lives where there's a lot happening, and times when there's, well, not as much happening.
And that's cool with me. Because I'll never doubt the love this man brings to the table. And I'll never want to do this life with anyone else.
You know the Spice Girls classic, "2 Become 1"?
Well, sometimes—sometimes that's about becoming one with your bed. And not one with your spouse. And that's okay.
(And also, it's okay to have created a Spice Girls Spotify playlist that you listen to in private which is why the song '2 Become 1' came to mind. They have some really catchy songs and remind you of your youth, and there's nothing to be ashamed of, and I hear they're getting back together anyway, and...I think we're onto another essay for another day…)