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This is birth: Bekah Martinez's serene + empowered waterbirth

There are so many ways that birth can happen, but growing up many of us only saw one version of it played out again and again in movies and television. There's a woman in a hospital bed, screaming. And while many moms do certainly experience birth in a hospital bed, many don't. And many times the act of giving birth is very different from how it's been portrayed in popular media.

That's why we started our This is: Birth film series—to give representation to the many varied ways women give birth. That's also why we love how former Bachelor star Bekah Martinez shared video of her water birth with her followers and with Motherly. Unlike the versions of birth we often see on television, Bekah's wasn't quick and it didn't happen in a maternity ward. She laboured for at home for 28 hours before heading to the birthing centre to welcome baby Ruth into the world.

We applaud Bekah for sharing this experience with her followers, because a recent survey published in the journal Reproductive Health journal found one out of six moms in the United States experience things like "loss of autonomy; being shouted at, scolded, or threatened; and being ignored, refused, or receiving no response to requests for help." while giving birth, and Bekah's video shows moms (and care providers) that there is another way to do this. And it is beautiful.

Watch Bekah's birth film here:

While we always say that birth plans can change, it is good to know what you want and don't want, and to prepare in ways that make sense to you. Bekah did a lot of prep for her birth, she basically trained for it (which makes sense, giving birth is harder on the body than running a marathon!) so when the hard parts came, she was ready.

"Strangely enough my favorite part of the birth experience was the long hours on contractions. I had 'trained' so hard — hypnobirthing classes, meditating, reading TONS of Ina May's writing — that when the time came I was able to fully relax and surrender my body to do its job," Bekah tells Motherly. "People have commented on how in-control I appear, but it was quite the opposite. I surrendered all my control and it made the experience so much more peaceful."

For Bekah, this beautiful birth was the result of many hours of contemplation and. even more importantly, conversation with those who could support and advocate for her when the time came.

"I do encourage other women to be VERY straightforward with their doulas about their expectations— at what point do want them to arrive? How hands-on do you want them to be? Draw up a specific plan with your doula about the extent and timing of their involvement."

Mom stepped in to be Bekah's doula 

Like we said, we always say that birth plans can change, and Bekah's did. Her own mother ended up taking a more active role in Ruth's birth than originally planned, and Bekah was so grateful to have here there.

"I always knew I wanted my mother there, though I had no idea how involved she would end up being. We had initially hired a doula, but unfortunately she was far less present at the birth than we anticipated, so my mother became my doula instantly and I couldn't have asked for better support. Her presence was so comforting and reassuring. I found so much strength through her."

At the moment of Ruth's birth, three generations of women shared an experience that represents the beginning of a new life, not just for Ruth but also for her mama and grandmother.

You can advocate for yourself at any age 

There's been a demographic shift in the United States in recent years when it comes to motherhood. The average age of first-time mothers in America is now older than 26, and Bekah was just shy of 24 when Ruth was born. This obviously did not stop Bekah from advocating for herself and her baby, but some younger moms do find that people don't take them seriously, which is all the more reason to understand that you are in charge of your body and birth and that medical care providers need to respect and listen to you.

Bekah suggests that moms know what they want going into birth, because that makes a woman less vulnerable to interventions or treatment she doesn't want.

"I think it's so important that women are aware of their options and the situations they're going into. Know the possible risks and outcomes of 'routine' procedures. Educate yourself on your provider's policies. Listen to your gut. Always remember that YOU have the final say in what happens to your body and child. You are powerful and more capable than you think!"

Bekah's power is so evident in this video.

Thanks Bekah!

Check out more inspiring birth films in our curated "This is: Birth" film series.

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Who says you have to wait for birthdays or holidays to give your bestie a great gift? A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs in these more-than-trying times. We've rounded up some of our favorite go-to gifts that are certain to be a bright spot in her week. But be warned, you may want to snag a few for yourself. (You deserve it, mama.)

Here are some our favorite "just because" gifts to give our hardworking mama friends.

New Mother face + body care duo

volition face + body care duo

This correcting oil and stretch mark minimizer is perfect for the pregnant mama looking to keep her pregnancy glow. The correcting oil brightens the skin while reducing dark spots, and the stretch mark minimizer works to smooth her ever-growing belly.

$70

Allover roller

esker allover roller

This jade roller goes beyond your typical face roller and can be used anywhere on the body. It works to increase stimulation and reduce puffiness and is perfect for applying any oils to the face or body. Plus, it feels like a mini spa treatment.

$65

Kombucha making kit

farmsteady kombucha making kit

What could be a more perfect gift for the health-obsessed friend? This kombucha making kit comes with everything you need to brew your own homemade green tea kombucha. They'll think this is the tastiest gift ever.

$45

Laetitia lipstick

cupid & psyche laetitia

This red lipstick is perfect for your makeup enthusiast bestie who is looking to spruce up her life in quarantine. Crafted in the United States, these bee and vegan-friendly and cruelty-free lipsticks are created to flatter all complexions. Cupid and Psyche Beauty makes finding the perfect red lip way too easy!

$23

Jigsaw puzzle

inner piecec jigsaw puzzle

Mamas need to destress now more than ever during quarantine. This adorable jigsaw puzzle is perfect for the mama who needs a brain break! The 500-piece puzzle designed by artist Ray Oranges features an abstract gradient design that fits a standard frame when completed. Bonus: It's printed on recycled paper and the company donates $1 from every puzzle sold to youth mindfulness programs.

$30

Matilda's Bloombox

matilda's bloombox

If we have to be stuck inside, we might as well have some gorgeous florals to brighten up the space. Matilda's Bloombox locally sources blooms, delivers them to her door and provides simple tips on how to arrange it into a beautiful bouquet.

$39

'I Am Enough' bracelet

I Am Enough bracelet

Let this dainty bracelet serve as a constant reminder to your bestie that she is enough. She'll wear this on her wrist and read this daily oath to herself, "I Am Enough."

$35

Glow assorted teas

vahdam low assorted teas

This tea gift box set covers the entire spectrum of flavors from sweet to spicy. Individually packaged in beautiful tins, your gal pal will feel like a queen sipping her morning tea. Originally $40, this set is currently on sale for just $24. We'll take two, please.

$24

Find your voice journal

find your voice journal

Journaling is a great way to ease anxiety and will slow your bestie's racing mind before bed. This gift is perfect for first time journalists and includes prompts, daily quotes and coloring pages to help her unlock her potential and find her voice.

$22

Premium frother

shore magic premium frother

This gift is fitting for your latte-sipping bestie who can't go a day without her coffee. All she has to do is add two scoops of collagen to her favorite drink, and she'll have a perfectly foamy drink ready in seconds. Skipping the drive-thru line has never been so easy!

$25

Bath soak infusion kit

maude bath soak infusion kit

Say hello to hydration! She'll be feeling smooth and relaxed as ever after a long bath soaking in these salts. This vegan + cruelty-free set incorporates dead sea salt and dehydrated coconut milk powder for an ultra hydrating experience.

$32

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

It's a hard-earned title she answers to a hundred times per day. Whether she's new to the club or a seasoned professional, this delicate script 'mama' necklace is guaranteed to be a perfect fit.

$105

Superfood honey

Beekeeper's Naturals B.Powered honey

With a lack of sleep and jam-packed days, getting through the afternoon can be a real challenge. Send her a powerful pick-me-up in the form of a therapeutic blend of royal jelly, bee pollen, propolis and raw honey. It makes the ideal companion for tea, smoothies, yogurt or even on its on.

$17

Calming midnight mask with melatonin

Who doesn't deserve a reminder to pamper themself every once in awhile? Even better, this mask does all its work at night while you're sleeping with no extra effort needed. It's an amazing plant-powered antioxidant-packed mask that has melatonin, wild dandelion leaf and hyaluronic acid to rehydrate, repair and reset facial skin. It's so good, you might want to gift it to yourself. We won't tell, mama.

$68

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Why do all of my good parenting or baby-focused inventions come after they've already been invented by someone else? Sigh.

Like the Puj hug hooded baby towel, aka the handiest, softest cotton towel ever created.

Safely removing a wet, slippery baby from the bath can be totally nerve-wracking, and trying to hold onto a towel at the same time without soaking it in the process seems to require an extra arm altogether. It's no wonder so much water ends up on the floor, the countertops, or you(!) after bathing your little one. Their splashing and kicking in the water is beyond adorable, of course, but the clean up after? Not as much.

It sounds simple: Wash your child, sing them a song or two, let them play with some toys, then take them out, place a towel around them, and dry them off. Should be easy, peasy, lemon squeezy, right?

But it hasn't been. It's been more—as one of my favorite memes says—difficult, difficult, lemon difficult. Because until this towel hit the bathtime scene, there was no easy-peasy way to pick up your squirming wet baby without drenching yourself and/or everything around you.

Plus, there is nothing cuter than a baby in a plush hooded towel, right? Well, except when it's paired with a dry, mess-free floor, maybe.

Check out our favorites to make bathtime so much easier:

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Our list of 100 baby names that should be on everyone's list this year includes more choices than in the past of names that are obscure and surprising. That's because there are so many more unusual baby names coming into widespread use and baby namers have become a lot more adventurous.

Expectant parents do not need to be told to move beyond Jennifer and Jason. Their thinking about names has evolved to the point that the most useful thing we can do is offer a large menu of intriguing choices.

Here are our picks for the 100 best surprising + unusual baby names now.


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