Brett Kavanaugh’s advancement is a turning point for many moms

Some feel anger, or fear but there is this other thing, too. Action.

Brett Kavanaugh’s advancement is a turning point for many moms

We are mad.

Before I tell you why here is a little sidebar: I spent the last 10 minutes going back and forth about whether or not to write the words "we are mad."

Hmm, gosh, I don't know. People might read that and dismiss what I have to say. 'Another woman getting hysterical and talking about her feelings.' Maybe I should change it? Make it a little more, I don't know, objective sounding?

After careful and graceful consideration, I have respectfully arrived at the decision that I WILL NOT CENSOR MYSELF just because I am a woman and that makes you uncomfortable.

So I say again, boldly this time, that WE ARE MAD.

Furious, in fact. But it's not why you think.

We are not in an uproar because of what allegedly happened to Dr. Ford 36 years ago. Of course, we are deeply affected to hear of yet another possible case of assault against a woman—it's awful. But quite frankly we're not surprised when we hear about women getting sexually assaulted anymore. One in five women and one in seven men are sexually assaulted. It is, dare I say, common.

It sickens us every time. But the allegation is not the source of our palpable rage this week.

Oh, and by the way, see how I am saying words like "possible" and "allegedly?" For the record, we do understand that as of now we are talking about unproven events. Despite the fact that less than 2% of accusations are false, we live in a country where a person is innocent until proven guilty, and it is not our intent to change that. Believe her (as I do) or don't—that is your right, and he has the right to fair proceedings.

His assumed guilt is not the impetus for our fury.

Our anger comes from the nation's response.

Dr. Ford represents that scores of women and men who have been assaulted, and the level of disrespect and disregard that she has been shown has ignited us.

That she has been casually dismissed for waiting 30 years to report it.

That she has been mocked for only remembering snapshots of the event.

That many have stated that even if her allegations are proven, it would not be a deal breaker for her accused.

That is why we are mad.

President Barack Obama once said, "You can judge a nation, and how successful it will be, based on how it treats its women and its girls."

Our nation is currently failing.

Mothers are the keepers of the past and the guardians of the future.

We carry the pain of our mothers, grandmothers, and ancestors.

We wear the pain of our own histories—pain that is inflamed when we watch yet another woman, shaking with fear yet standing in bravery, recount the brief moment in time that changed her life for the worse forever. We have been in her shoes, and listening to her story rips raw the wounds that will never fully heal.

But we close their jagged edges to the best of our abilities, and we carry on because we are mothers, and the future is on us.

We stand here, between our fractured past and our precarious future and try desperately to correct all that is wrong, so that our children can have it a little better than we do.

With unsteady gates and forced smiles, we guide our babies as they learn to stand up for themselves and each other, to distinguish right from wrong, to be a light in difficult situations. We watch over them as they quietly play we silently scream, "Please God, don't let it happen to them."

Mothers feel this pain deeply. And we do not have your support. That is why we are so, so mad.

We do, however, have each other's support. While you stand rigid and yell about all the reasons we are wrong to be upset, women and mothers are changing the world.

We're turning our anger into action, and building each other up.

We are committed to voting, and getting as many other women as possible to join us.

And we are guiding our children to create a better future.

We won't stay silent. We won't back down. We'd love to have you join us, but we'll be just fine if you don't.

Just don't be mad when we leave you behind.

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An expectant mama's to-do list can feel endless… but here's the good news: A lot of those tasks are actually really exciting. Planning your baby registry is especially thrilling: You get a say in what gifts friends and family members will buy for your new addition!

But it can also feel a bit overwhelming to make sense of all the gear on the market. That's why we suggest mentally dividing your registry into two categories: items you need to prepare for your baby's arrival and items that sure would be nice to have.

Here at Motherly, our editors have dozens of kids and years of parenting experience among us, so we know our way around the essentials. We also know how mama-friendly the registry-building experience is with Target, especially thanks to their recently upgraded registry and introduction of Year of Benefits. Just by creating your baby registry with Target, you'll snag a kit with $120 in discounts and samples. The savings keep coming: You'll also get two 15% off coupons to buy unpurchased items from your registry for up to a year after your baby's expected arrival. Change your mind about anything? The Year of Benefits allows for returns or exchanges for a full year. And as of August 2020, those who also sign up for Target Circle when creating a baby registry will also get the retailer's Year of Exclusive Deals, which includes ongoing discounts on baby essentials for a full year.

Here are 10 items we agree deserve a spot in the "need" category on your registry, mama.

A crib to grow with your baby

Delta Children Farmhouse 6-in-1 Convertible Crib

First-time mamas are likely creating nursery spaces for the first time, and that can get expensive. Adding a quality crib to Target registry gives friends and family members the option to join forces to make a large purchase through group gifting.


A safe + convenient car seat

Safety 1st OnBoard 35 LT Infant Car Seat

The list of non-negotiable baby essentials is pretty short, but it definitely includes a car seat. In fact, most hospitals will not allow you to leave after delivery until a car seat check is performed. We recommend an infant seat, which can easily snap into a base in your car.


A traveling nursery station

Baby Trend Lil Snooze Deluxe II Nursery Center

It's hard to beat a good playard when it comes to longevity. This item can be baby's sleeping place when they're sharing a room with you for the first months. Down the line, it can function as a roving diaper change station. And when you travel, it makes a great safe space for your little one to sleep and play.


A swing for some backup help

4moms mamaRoo 4 Bluetooth Enabled High-Tech Baby Swing - Classic

A dependable swing can be a real lifesaver for new parents when they need their hands free (or just a minute to themselves). Because many babies are opinionated about these things, we appreciate that the mamaRoo has multiple modes of motion and soothing sounds.


An easy-to-clean high chair

Ingenuity SmartClean Trio Elite 3-in-1 High Chair - Slate

Our best registry advice? Think ahead. It really won't be long before your child is ready for those first bites of solid food, at which point you'll need a high chair. We like one that transitions to a booster seat atop an existing dining room chair.


A diaper bag to share

Eddie Bauer Backpack - Gray/Tan

When you're a mom, you're usually toting diapers, wipes, clothing changes, bottles, snacks, toys and more. You need a great bag to stash it all, and if you're anything like us, you'll choose a backpack style for comfort and functionality. Bonus: This gender neutral option can easily be passed off to your partner.


A hygienic spot for all those diaper changes

Munchkin Secure Grip Waterproof Diaper Changing Pad 16X31"

We can confidently predict there will be a lot of diaper changes in your future. Do yourself a favor by registering for two comfortable, wipeable changing pads: one to keep in the nursery and another to stash elsewhere in your house.


A way to keep an eye on your baby at night

Infant Optics Video Baby Monitor DXR-8

Feeling peace of mind while your baby sleeps in another room truly is priceless.That's why we advocate for a quality video monitor that will allow you to keep tabs on your snoozing sweetheart.


A comfortable carrier to free up your hands

Petunia Pickle Bottom for Moby Wrap Baby Carrier, Strolling in Salvador

A wrap carrier may be about as low-tech as baby items come, but trust us, this product stands the test of time. Great for use around the house or while running errands, this is one item you'll appreciate so much.


A full set of bottles + cleaning supplies

Dr. Brown's Options+ Complete Baby Bottle Gift Set

Whether you plan to work in an office or stay at home, breastfeed or formula feed, bottles are a valuable tool. To make your life as simple as possible, it's nice to have an easy-to-clean set that is designed to work through the first year.


Target's baby registry is easy to create from the comfort of your own home. Start your Target baby registry now and enjoy shopping with the Year of Benefits featuring exclusive deals available via Target Circle, two 15% off coupons, a year of hassle-free returns, a free welcome kit and more!

This article was sponsored by Target. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Cameron Diaz is one of them. The actress and businesswoman, now 48, became a mom in January at the age of 47. In a new episode of Naomi Campbell's YouTube series, No Filter, Diaz opens up about what it's like to become a mom in your fourth decade.

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