Giving birth is NOT easy. It’s painful, messy, terrifying and an emotional roller coaster…but it’s also pretty darn incredible. And, according to Jennifer Garner, it’s also incredibly romantic.

Then again, it might not be—at least if you’re anything like Kristen Bell. Jennifer and Kristen sat down together for an installment of Momsplaining with Kristen Bell to tackle this topic.

One of the moms who joins Kristen’s roundtable in this episode is five months pregnant and tells the two famous mamas that while she’s feeling pretty good, she is starting to get a little nervous about going into labor. “I think it is the most romantic day you’ll ever experience,” Jennifer declares.

But Kristen isn’t buying it. “You’re a better person than I am,” she says after her jaw drops. “I was going to say, ‘It’s going to look like a homicide…way more blood than you think there should be.”


Jennifer Garner Talks Motherhood: #Momsplaining with Kristen Bell

Luckily, Kristen has a piece of advice for the expectant mama. “My best advice—and I even brought an example ’cause I knew you were pregnant— is make a birth plan. Put a lot of thought into it, take a deep breath…and then just [rip it up]. It’s never going to happen like that so get rid of it. And that is kind of what labor is like.”

It’s true…and to be fair, some may find romance in all that craziness. You also may discover your own ability to laugh at yourself and your circumstances. Take for example, Kristen Bell’s story about thinking her water broke during her pregnancy. She headed to the hospital convinced she was having her baby, only to learn she had likely peed herself. Raise your hand if you’ve been there.

This inspired the ladies to play a game where they stuck water-filled condoms between their knees and ran around the restaurant. The game’s name? “Did my water break or did I pee my pants?”

It goes to show that motherhood is usually not pretty…but if you really stop to examine it, you can see the humor—and yes, even the romance—in those messy moments.