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Editor's note: This is the third post in a four-part series about teens, sex, and social media. Read the entire series here.


I made a somewhat shocking discovery in our storage room a few weeks ago.

I was looking through a pile of old photographs when – mixed in among the usual family holidays and memorable birthday parties – I found a set of six shots of me posing seductively in a series of sexy outfits. Me in a bikini. Me in a silky top. Me in a tight black skirt and vest with no bra.

I stared at these images with my jaw dropped, feeling as if I'd stumbled across a collection of photos taken without my knowledge. But no, I remember this… We were in my friend's basement bedroom. Her parents were out. We were 14 years old.

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In every one of the photos, I'm wearing a wooden cross necklace, clearly aware of the irony.

Fortunately for me, the internet wasn't a thing in 1991 and we were taking pictures with a disposable camera, not a smart phone. Maybe I would have sent those photos to a boy I liked. I don't know. But the fact remains that I had the inclination and curiosity to pose for them.

Take a moment, right now if you can, to recall what it was like to be a teenager discovering your own sexuality. Remember the questions you had, and the various methods you and your friends came up with for answering them. Think about how natural it is to wonder what your body looks like to other people. Isn't a photograph the best way to find out?

Discovering these photos changed the way I approached this piece. I was filled with compassion for teen girls, and filled with gratitude for my parents, who somehow guided teenage me to a place of relative confidence and fierceness.

Which reminded me – that's what it's all about. I was getting distracted as I researched the current technological landscape and how it affects the way our kids experience adolescence. There are some unique considerations because of the state of technology, but what's more important than preparing your daughter to be a good digital citizen is preparing your daughter to be a woman in this world.

As I discussed in my post on talking to boys about sex, love, and relationships, having the “one big sex talk" doesn't work. Your daughter won't experience her sexuality in one fell swoop. It's a process that begins way before puberty.

Help your daughter build a strong, confident foundation from which to navigate her budding sexuality by modeling these four behaviors.

1 | Positive body image

Studies have shown (over and over again) that a mother has an incredible amount of influence on her daughter's body image.

One study at the University of Notre Dame found that “direct maternal encouragement of daughters to lose weight is linked to daughters' development of bulimic symptoms." To which you might say, “Obviously." But the study's abstract also states that “daughters whose mothers merely talk about dieting and body dissatisfaction are more likely to be diagnosed with an eating disorder."

I would never presume to tell you that you need to be 100% happy with your body (I mean, that would be ideal, but I understand self-acceptance is an ever-evolving process). The point is, it's on us to deal with our shit in private. Do not talk about calorie counting, dieting, or losing weight in front of, or with, your daughter. Period.

Instead, talk to your daughter about healthy eating choices and introduce her to a range of physical activities that might interest her. If you think that ship has sailed, it's never too late to talk about loving yourself. Teach her what an amazing feat of science and magic her body is – that we are made of the same raw material as the stars.

You may laugh or tell me that I'm barking up the wrong new age tree, but I want to offer this thought anyway: teach your daughter that she is a goddess. Not a queen or a diva, but a beautiful, sensual goddess whose body is to be celebrated. While you're at it, remind yourself that you're a goddess, too.

There is equal onus on fathers to consciously avoid using language that objectifies women in front of your daughters (or how about all the time?), and to maintain a closeness with her, even as her body changes through puberty.

Laura Choate, author of “Swimming Upstream: Parenting Girls for Resilience in a Toxic Culture," says that, “if you have always been affectionate, this is not the time to stop hugging your daughter or to push her off your lap just because she has grown a little (or a lot)." That kind of rejection – no matter how unintentional – can leave a lasting imprint.



2 | Strong, supportive female friendships

I was a mean girl in junior high. Heavily influenced by the movie “Heathers," two friends and I called ourselves the Three Blonde Bitches (3BB for short). We weren't overtly mean, but we certainly thought we were better than other girls and knew how to influence almost any social situation. At the time, it seemed like the best way to be a “strong girl."

Illustration: Katrina Weigand

I wish I had done it all differently. I wish my notion of a strong girl involved lifting other girls up, making friends feel good about themselves, and showing boys that I didn't rely on their feedback to bolster my self-esteem.

Cattiness – the cornerstone of any mean girl squad – can be described as an evolutionary byproduct of the competition for sexual partners. In modern day terms, it's just competition. Women and girls are uncomfortable with competition because it's not something that we're encouraged to feel or benefit from the way boys typically are. But we experience it anyway, and don't really know what to do with it. So we snipe. We betray. We lie.

…Until we learn that there is a much better way to deal with our feelings of inadequacy. Once girls and women experience the brilliant force of female support, they will choose it over cattiness every time.

Female friends provide an outlet and a soundboard for those feelings that would otherwise manifest as passive aggression. Even better than that, the support of a close girlfriend has the ability to change the way we see ourselves. Your daughter will see the difference in you – before and after you spend time with your ladies – and understand on a profound level that girls are good for each other.

3 | Respect

How many times have you heard the phrase (dripping with judgment as it is), “No self-respecting girl would ever…"

I loathe the sentiment for all the ways that it's been used to victim-blame and slut-shame. I also believe there's a kernel of truth in there.

Modeling self-respect for your daughter is like teaching her about consent, integrity, and strength all at once. She will learn that she has value, that her words matter. Since the understanding that all people are born with inherent worth is a natural outgrowth of self-respect, your daughter will respect other people, too.

Be respectful of your partner, respectful of your own needs, and for the love of God, be respectful of your daughter. This includes respecting her privacy.

Amy Adele Hasinoff, Assistant Professor in the department of communication at the University of Colorado, Denver and author of “Sexting Panic," explains that digital privacy is also an important consideration.

“Covert monitoring (of your daughter's texts and social media) sets a really bad example that says, 'You have no right to privacy. I don't care about your personal space,'" she says. This is the opposite of respect.

And there's a larger message coming through. Says Hasinoff, “You're sending a very dangerous message that there is no privacy in digital information. I think we want to be modeling to kids that, just because something is digital and Facebook's telling you to share it and Twitter's telling you to share it, doesn't mean you should. There's still an ethical obligation to respect people's privacy."

In any area where your daughter may have a reasonable expectation of privacy – her phone, her email, even her bedroom at times – it's incumbent upon you to provide that privacy.

4 | Advocacy

Advocacy can be an intimidating word. It sounds like something one does for a cause or a struggle; we advocate for things we believe in.

Well, I have no doubt that you believe in your daughter. You believe that she deserves respect just like her male counterparts. She should have the freedom to be herself without ridicule or bullying. She is your cause.

As much as I wish it wasn't so, we still live in a misogynist culture – particularly when it comes to female sexuality. Girls are routinely given the message that they should be chaste and humble, but not too chaste and humble; that they can be one of two things – a prude or a slut.

If your teenage daughter is caught sexting, do not punish her. Have a conversation about it. Ask her why she did it and explain why it's not a good idea. Help her find safe, healthy ways to explore her sexuality. That's advocacy.

If your daughter is being slut-shamed for that sext, or for the way she dresses, something she said, or something that someone else invented about her – MAKE IT STOP! Her school may not intervene, her friends may do nothing, and – saddest of all – your daughter may feel powerless to fight it. It is up to you.

Furthermore, if your daughter is contributing to the slut-shaming of another girl, you need to become an advocate for that girl. There are too many examples (because even one is too many) of girls being relentlessly harassed by other girls – sometimes, tragically, to the point of committing suicide.

Hasinoff says, “It's very easy for parents to think of their teenage girls as potential victims. They feel like their kids are vulnerable… I think the best thing parents could do is think of it as their job to make sure that their kids don't perpetrate these horrible violations – that they don't slut-shame their classmates."

She goes on to say, “That's the moral and ethical training that I think parents should be giving their kids, rather than, 'Don't sext.'… If all you tell them is 'don't sext,' you're setting them up for a lot of problems and you're not solving any of the issues."

There is a lot of messed up shit that happens when it comes to girls and sexuality. Tune your radar into this realm and be prepared to fight when you see the double standard in play. By advocating for your daughter now, you're teaching her how to do it herself for the rest of her life.

You can change the world for your daughter

Dr. Christiane Northrup, a world-renowned OB/GYN and author of “Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom," has said that, “every daughter contains her mother and all the women who came before her."

I just love this powerful visual of my daughter embodying the grit, humor, sadness, and fear of every woman. To think that we have it all somewhere inside our cells and can access whatever emotion or experience we need to inform our reaction to any situation we find ourselves in – it feels good to me.

It's also daunting as hell, isn't it? Speaking as a mother who tends to get caught up in the details (Shit – did I remember to put her tap shoes in her backpack? What will we do if we don't have her tap shoes? I'm the worst!), thinking about writing this piece has caused me to take several giant steps back and consider the whole picture.

When I judge myself, I judge my daughter. When I look at my belly, no longer the defined mid-section of a 25-year-old yoga instructor, and think, “Gross," I lay that feeling at my daughter's feet. When my sweet, wonderful mother calls herself stupid for forgetting to pack her toothbrush, my daughter feels the weight of those words.

It's not fair. She didn't do anything wrong. But you see, neither did I. All of this judgment and criticism is learned behavior. When I was a kid going to Catholic mass, I would keep my lips closed during the part of the service when the congregation speaks the phrase, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed."

But WHY am I not worthy?, seven-year-old me thought. What did I do wrong?

Nothing, sweetheart. You've done nothing wrong. It's just a phrase from a book written by men who were trying to control a whole lot of people. People are easier to control when you convince them that they lack worth.

And that's what our culture has done to generations of women. The words change slightly, we gain a little ground now and then, but the underlying (heteronormative) belief that women exist primarily to be tools for male sexual pleasure, and to reproduce and care for their offspring, persists.

But you can make a promise right now that it ends with you.

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Pop quiz, mama! How many different types of car seats are there? If you guessed three, you're partially correct. The three main types are rear-facing car seats, forward-facing car seats, and booster seats. But then there are a variety of styles as well: infant car seats, convertible seats, all-in-one seats, high-back booster seats, and backless boosters. If you're not totally overwhelmed yet, keep reading, we promise there's good stuff ahead.

There's no arguing that, in the scheme of your baby and child gear buying lifetime, purchasing a car seat is a big deal! Luckily, Walmart.com has everything you need to travel safely with your most precious cargo in the backseat. And right now, you can save big on top-rated car seats and boosters during Best of Baby Month, happening now through September 30 at Walmart.com.

As if that wasn't enough, Walmart will even take the carseat your kiddos have outgrown off your hands for you (and hook you up with a sweet perk, too). Between September 16 and 30, Walmart is partnering with TerraCycle to recycle used car seats. When you bring in an expired car seat or one your child no longer fits into to a participating Walmart store during the trade-in event, you'll receive a $30 gift card to spend on your little one in person or online. Put the money towards a brand new car seat or booster or other baby essentials on your list. To find a participating store check here: www.walmart.com/aboutbestofbabymonth

Ready to shop, mama? Here are the 9 best car seat deals happening this month.


Safety 1st Grow and Go Spring 3-in-1 Convertible Car Seat

walmart-best-baby-carseat

From rear-facing car seat to belt-positioning booster, Grow and Go Sprint's got you covered through childhood. Whether you choose the grey Silver Lake, Seafarer or pink Camelia color palette, you'll love how this model grows with your little one — not to mention how easy it is to clean. The machine-washable seat pad can be removed without fussing with the harness, and the dual cup holders for snacks and drinks can go straight into the dishwasher.

Price: $134 (regularly $149)

SHOP

Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Bermuda

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When your toddler is ready to face forward, this versatile car seat can be used as a five-point harness booster, a high-back booster, and a backless booster. Padded armrests, harness straps, and seat cushions provide a comfy ride, and the neutral gray seat pads reverse to turquoise for a stylish new look.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)

SHOP

Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Olivia

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Looking for something snazzy, mama? This black and hot pink car seat features a playful heart print on its reversible seat pad and soft harness straps. Best of all, with its 100-pound weight limit and three booster configurations, your big kid will get years of use out of this fashionable design.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)

SHOP

Evenflo Triumph LX Convertible Car Seat

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This rear- and forward-facing car seat keeps kids safer, longer with an adjustable five-point harness that can accommodate children up to 65 lbs. To tighten the harness, simply twist the conveniently placed side knobs; the Infinite Slide Harness ensures an accurate fit every time. As for style, we're big fans of the cozy quilted design, which comes in two colorways: grey and magenta or grey and turquoise.

Price: $116 (regularly $149.99)

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Disney Baby Light 'n Comfy 22 Luxe Infant Car Seat

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Outfitted with an adorable pink-and-white polka dot Minnie Mouse infant insert, even the tiniest of travelers — as small as four pounds! — can journey comfortably and safely. This rear-facing design is lightweight, too; weighing less than 15 lbs, you can easily carry it in the crook of your arm when your hands are full (because chances are they will be).

Price: $67.49 (regularly $89.99)

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Graco 4Ever 4-in-1 Convertible Car Seat

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We know it's hard to imagine your tiny newborn will ever hit 100 lbs, but one day it'll happen. And when it does, you'll appreciate not having to buy a new car seat if you start with this 4-in-1 design! Designed to fit kids up to 120 lbs, it transforms four ways, from a rear-facing car seat to a backless belt-positioning booster. With a 6-position recline and a one-hand adjust system for the harness and headrest, you can easily find the perfect fit for your growing child.

Price: $199.99 (regularly $269.99)

SHOP

Graco SlimFit All-in-One Convertible Car Seat

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With its unique space-saving design, this 3-in-1 car seat provides 10% more back seat space simply by rotating the dual cup holders. The InRight LATCH system makes installation quick and easy, and whether you're using it as a rear-facing car seat, a forward-facing car seat, or a belt-positioning booster, you can feel confident that your child's safe and comfortable thanks to Graco's Simply Safe Adjust Harness System.

Price: $149.99 (regularly $229.99)

SHOP

Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Platinum XT Infant Car Seat

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Making sure your infant car seat is secure can be tricky, but Graco makes it easy with its one-second LATCH attachment and hassle-free three-step installation using SnugLock technology. In addition to its safety features, what we really love about this rear-facing seat are all of the conveniences, including the ability to create a complete travel system with Click Connect Strollers and a Silent Shade Canopy that expands without waking up your sleeping passenger.

Price: $169.99 (regularly $249.99)

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Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Elite Infant Car Seat

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With just one click, you can know whether this rear-facing car seat has been installed properly. Then adjust the base four different ways and use the bubble level indicator to find the proper position. When you're out and about, the rotating canopy with window panel will keep baby protected from the sun while allowing you to keep your eye on him.

Price: $129.99 (regularly $219.99)

SHOP

This article was sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Kid's birthday parties can be great: There's lots of playtime for little ones to wear themselves out, the entertainment is free and it's the perfect time to bond with other mamas. But when it comes to gift-giving, everyone's interpretation of these unwritten rules is different which can create unwanted stress.

You know the scene: Some mamas prefer to give handmade gifts, others like buying popular toys and some only contribute to the child's college tuition.

If you haven't already heard, the trending theme for kid's birthday parties is "the fiver" and it takes the guesswork out of gift-giving. Rather than spending $20 on a toy they probably won't play with in a month the hosts ask for a $5 bill. The money is pooled together and can be put towards one big, much more significant gift, instead of many smaller, less meaningful things. The idea is simple, and it turns out, hosting one is similar to throwing a traditional birthday party.

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Here are six ways to throw a seamless (and fun!) fiver party:

1. Don't do it alone

Many moms tend to plan everything for their kids' parties all by themselves. They write down a list of things that they need to do and feel accomplished after checking off every single item. But, when the special day finally comes, moms stress over the details for fear that something might go wrong.

When planning a fiver party, delegate tasks and responsibilities during the planning process. Having a helper or two for the big day cuts down on having to clean up a big mess afterward.

2. Create a distraction-free environment

Though this sounds like a tip for doing homework, it applies to throwing a party, too. If you book a show for 3- or 4-year-olds, it's better to hide all the toys and snacks beforehand so they can sit longer and focus better on the activity you planned. Best of all, with fiver parties, you don't have to worry about designating an area to open a bunch of gifts.

3. Remember that hand painting is better for toddlers

Many children like to get their faces painted for their birthdays or for special events. Though face painting is a popular activity, children who are less than 4 years old will often start moving, fidgeting or crying in the middle of it and turn the beautiful butterfly on their faces into a mess. Because of this, try hand painting for the younger ones.

4. Always keep them busy

Fill your fiver party with activities so that the guests will always have something to do. Maybe this sounds a bit difficult, but you don't necessarily need to book 10 shows for one party. Simply prepare a few easy games (like a treasure hunt, musical chairs and sack race) for them to play beforehand. Keeping the children occupied will make your fiver party fun and memorable.

5. Less is more

A shortlist of guests will keep your little one from feeling overwhelmed by the attention. For toddlers, a party that lasts about an hour and a half is perfect. If they're a bit older, add another hour. Just remember children don't need much to feel happy and loved.

Bonus! Here are two ways to save money while making your kids' fiver party memorable:

1. Host the party at home.

Sure, venues are great, but they can be pricey. Having a party at home is inexpensive and intimate. Also, kids are more likely to interact with each other if the space is smaller.

2. Only serve snacks.

A common way to stay on budget is to invite people between meals and prepare snacks, not a full meal. Most kids are usually so busy playing they'll just graze anyway.

This article was originally published on Partify by Natalie Wong and it has been republished with permission from the author.

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Learn + Play

When your toddler is screaming for milk, a toy or a snack in the middle of the grocery store, it may feel like your world is closing in on you. It might not seem like it in the moment, but tantrums are a normal part of your child's development—it's a child's way of expressing how they feel.

But regardless of why little ones throw fits, it can be tough to navigate. We looked to the parenting threads on Reddit where mamas discuss the ins and outs as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. We were all ears.

Here's the best tantrum advice Reddit mamas swear by:

1. Wait it out

"Tantrums are a toddler's way of venting excess frustration, energy and emotion. Just wait it out and once it's dying down, offer some comfort. After, talk with them and verbalize and validate their emotions."— StayAtHome478936

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2. Don't entertain it

"Do not engage with them at all during a tantrum. It's tempting to try to calm them down and introduce some reason to the situation, but don't give in to that. Screaming is a one-way ticket to being completely ignored. They're allowed to be frustrated and upset, but you're not obligated to listen to it."— VoteyDisciple

3. Give yourself a mommy break

"I give myself mommy time outs if I'm getting frustrated or angry and even though no one is enforcing me, I still get the benefit of calming myself down, and my daughter sees me proactively taking care of my mood/behavior."— ChandrikaMoon

4. Let them explore their world

"If you have patience with misbehavior, you open the door to your child escalating until she has your full attention. I let my toddler explore her world and do anything I deem safe, but I am strict about enforcing safety rules and I do not allow her to misbehave without consequences."— soMuchToFind

5. Focus on the real issue

"Rather than punishing the symptom of the issue, work on the actual issue. For my 4-year-old son we are working on breathing and counting as a coping mechanism for when emotions become too overwhelming. For him, it works well. He responds to most minor and medium emotions by breathing now."— Hiitskai

6. Say 'no' less

"There is a school of thought that if the child reacts terribly every time you say 'no,' say 'no' less. Instead of no cookie you say you can have carrots or cheese now. Always offer one or two good choices when you can and it will head off at least some of the fits."— toasterchild

7. Take away things

"My kid started showing signs of being low-level obsessed with a game so we took it away cold turkey. We explained that the game makes him behave in a way we don't like, so we are going to take a break. Sure he wasn't happy about it, but we are the adults and he is entitled to feel any way he wants to."— greenpotatoes9

8. Offer breaks

"Daycare helped us so much with tantrums. They taught her the phrase 'I need my space.' So, when she has her tantrum, she goes away for a moment, and then comes back in a calmer state of mind. Often, the more we try to help her, the worse it gets."— dave moe dee

9. Play music

"The main thing that almost never fails is listening to music during a tantrum. I'm really into music myself so I guess this is no huge surprise but my girl just cannot cry while Beyonce is playing."— PavLovesDogs

10. Do something unrelated

"As long as the kid isn't actively endangering themselves while throwing the temper tantrum, I completely ignore it. I make a point of going about my business and doing something wholly unrelated to whatever lead up to the tantrum. It didn't take long for my kid to learn that the screaming and fussing won't get them what they want."— PerestroikaPal

11. Compromise

"If you give into a tantrum, find a way to make it seem like you're compromising for some other reason, but not because of the tantrum. I always tell my 3 year old 'You know how to ask. If you want something, use your words, ask nicely."—athaliah

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Learn + Play

When kids enter puberty we warn them about the change. We tell them their bodies are changing and that it's normal and natural and they're beautiful just as they are. But when women become mothers and their bodies—and brains—change, we are not offered the same affirmations and comfort as adolescents. Society tells children to accept the ways their bodies stretch, grow and shift to carry them through adulthood, but it tells the women who carry these children in their own bodies to fight change at all costs.

Luckily, that is changing. Women are standing up and saying what society should have been telling us all along: Yes, motherhood changes your body, but that change is beautiful.

And now, in a brilliant move that is both excellent marketing and empowering, hundreds of women are putting their postpartum bodies on display. The act is a powerful statement to themselves and to other mothers: Our bodies are meant to evolve and change, and you are normal and natural and beautiful just as you are.

Knix is selling underwear, but the brand is also creating real change with a project called The Life After Birth Project, which saw 250 photos of real moms exhibited in an NYC gallery before rolling into Knix's hometown, Toronto, Canada, this week.

The photos are refreshingly real and exactly what women need to see in 2019.

The Life After Birth Project shows the beauty and reality of postpartum healing 

One of the most damaging myths about postpartum recovery is that it is quick. It isn't. It actually takes about six to eight weeks for the uterus to shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size. The bump doesn't instantly disappear because it took 9 months to grow. A mother's body needs time to heal after birth, whether it was a vaginal delivery or a C-section, but too many mothers aren't given that time.

In the United States, so many working moms are back at their job within five weeks of giving birth, and even if paid work isn't a factor, unpaid labor and family obligations can have mothers doing too much too soon.

As Diana Spalding, midwife and Motherly's Digital Education Editor and Birth Expert, has said, "You would never expect someone to clean their house a few days after having surgery, or to run errands when they are getting over the flu—so why do we expect ourselves to snap out of giving birth? Pregnancy and birth are not ailments, but they are the real deal. Be gentle on yourself, and allow your body to heal."

Mothers should not be embarrassed by their changing bodies 

A recent survey found more than a third of women (37%) felt embarrassed by what their body was going through after birth. This is not okay, and it is why we need more projects like the The Life After Birth Project and more companies doing what Knix is doing.

That is why celebrities like Jillian Harris, pictured above, stepped up and shared photos of their own postpartum experiences for the Life After Birth project.

Yes, Jillian is wearing mesh panties and a giant pad in the above photo. But that's part of the journey and nothing to be embarrassed about.

We need to see our stories represented and know that this is normal.

More photos from #LifeAfterBirth

Four pregnancies in four years. This mama has been through so much and has some serious advice: "I wish our always busy culture recognized it more and gave new mothers patience and grace."

So do we Amy, so do we.

See the gallery in person

The Life After Birth Project is currently in Toronto but the next stop is Los Angeles on October 24.

The gallery will keep touring the US, too.

Stops are planned in Portland, Seattle, Dallas, Austin, Denver, Minneapolis. if you want to submit your own photos, tag @lifeafterbirthproject on Instagram and use the hashtag #LifeAfterBirth, or email your photos to lifeafterbirth@knix.com.

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News

You know that moment when you find yourself standing in line at the grocery store next to the "All-Together Woman"? Come on, you know the one.

She very well may have just stepped out of a magazine centerfold, while you are fairly certain you resemble something more along the lines of a real-life muppet. This woman is flawless. Her makeup is spot-on, her clothes are wrinkle-free. Her toes are manicured and her fingernails look like they never once, in the course of her what-must-be-a-dream-life, scrubbed a single dirty bathtub, poopy toilet or messy kitchen floor.

Okay, seriously, I know you know what I am talking about now.

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But, here's the thing. I don't hate her. I don't even envy her. Because I don't know her. I have no idea what her personal struggles are. I applaud her for her obvious fashion skills and mad makeup abilities. I will probably even tell her I love her hair. Or her shoes. Or her something.

And, for all I know, while I am admiring her trendy jacket and cropped top she very well may be admiring my children and my life. Maybe, just maybe, she thinks my yoga pants paired with a hoodie and clean-ish Converse shoes along with my ridiculously huge diaper bag that seconds as my purse and kitchen fridge on-the-go are totally adorbs!

I will most likely scrounge up the courage to drag myself to a mirror sometime in the next hour or so just to see what exactly I looked like next to this magical being. Chances are I had green and blue fruit loops bits stuck somewhere between my teeth, a messy bun that closely resembled a bird's nest and overly unplucked eyebrows. Chances are also extremely high there was not a lick of makeup to hide my exhausted, sleep-deprived eyelids, either. My breasts will still be saggy and my tummy will still be loose.

Listen, my seasons will change. All too soon my kids will be older and I will have more energy to prep myself before going out in public. I will be more rested and will probably (hopefully) have lost some pre/post-baby weight. I won't be rushed to pick up peanut butter and milk after school drop-off but before nap. Brushing my teeth in the morning will no longer seem like a luxury. I may even become the "All-Together Woman."

But, in this season, today, I am going to tell myself "I am enough."

Because I AM enough.

My babies don't see her, they see ME, their mommy and #1 person. They love me unconditionally. And I am enough.

My husband respects me as his partner and the mother of his children. He tells me I'm beautiful and loves my body, including all of the wreckage and battle scars left behind from eight babies. And I am enough.

My friends see me for who I am. They know I'm clumsy, goofy and imperfect. And they don't even care that I wear Pajama Jeans. And I am enough.

It is easy (entirely too easy) to look at ourselves as the lesser version of our reality. We can be our biggest critics and shamers. Our own worst enemies.

It's so important that we begin teaching our daughters that they are enough. That who they are in the inside will manifest itself into what they are on the outside. Let's teach our girls, together, to claim their beauty, their strengths and their sense-of-self from within. First and always.

Everything on the outside is literally just the surface. It's time, ladies. And I know you can do it. Because you are enough.

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