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Since my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, one of my biggest worries has been how he would be perceived and treated by his peers as he grew up in our neurodiverse world.


Although I love his unique way of seeing the world, I’m also aware that his social challenges make his daily life a struggle. At home, my husband and I encourage him to pursue his unique passions while providing the scaffolding of rules, consistency, and order that make him feel safe. But sometimes, a quiet dread fills me as I imagine his future.

We live in a world of complexity and nuance, and nowhere is that more evident than in the social sphere, where autistic kids struggle the most. Social interactions are rarely predictable; they are filled with metaphors, innuendos, subtleties of gesture and tone that neurotypical people take for granted. 

To overcome their “mindblindness,” kids like my son, who have milder forms of autism, are encouraged to develop social thinking skills—essentially, how to read body language, imagine other people’s thoughts, anticipate reactions, and control their own.

That can be done through classes, play groups, books, videos, and other tools. And although social interactions will always generally be challenging, given these tools, many autistic kids can adapt to and thrive in their social environments. 

My son’s quirks are a fundamental part of who he is, so I also believe that my son should be accepted and embraced for who he is.

For decades, making autistic kids “indistinguishable from their peers” has been the guiding principle behind many therapies and interventions to which autistic kids are exposed. As a parent, I get it.

I don’t want my kid excluded because he hums all the time, or prefers to wear his clothes backwards because they feel better to him, or because he can’t stop talking about his special interests. I also want him to develop genuine, reciprocal relationships with his peers. 

And yet, my son’s quirks are a fundamental part of who he is as a human being, so I also believe that my son should be accepted and embraced for who he is.

Although we can be thankful that autistic kids are no longer institutionalized and wholly excluded from participating in mainstream classrooms and environments, they often continue to be segregated in special ed classrooms, and ignored or bullied by peers who don’t have the skills to communicate or develop meaningful relationships with them.

Neurotypical Kids Aren’t Prepared to Live in an Increasingly Neurodiverse World

This is a mistake.

  • One in 68 people are on the autism spectrum.
  • It’s estimated that 5-10 percent of kids have ADHD.
  • Around 10 percent of the population is dyslexic.

Our kids live in a world where they will have friends, teachers, boyfriends, girlfriends, colleagues, bosses and family members who are on the autism spectrum or have any number of other neurodevelopmental disorders. Like other forms of diversity, exposure to neurodiversity is now a given. And yet, neurotypical kids are not prepared to live in an increasingly neurodiverse world.

We need to equip them with tools to understand how autistic people and other non-neurotypicals experience the world, and how to meaningfully include them in their lives. In celebration of Autism Acceptance Month, I’d like to offer a few ways to get started.  

Neurotypical or NT, an abbreviation of neurologically typical, is a neologism originating in the autistic community as a label for people who are not on the autism spectrum. However, the term eventually became narrowed to refer to those with strictly typical neurology. –  Neurotypical – Wikipedia

Acknowledge difference but emphasize shared humanity

Kids are not the magical color-blind, difference-blind creatures that many people wish they were. Between the ages of 2 and 5, kids start to notice differences in gender, race, and abilities. They also begin reinforcing and shunning deviations from social norms.

The best way to raise accepting and inclusive kids is to acknowledge, talk about, and explain behavior. The behavior of autistic kids, for instance, can range from mildly eccentric—maybe a kid who won’t stop talking about train schedules or outer space, long after the rest of the group has moved on—to more noticeable behaviors, including hand-flapping, rocking back and forth, and meltdowns.

Explain what autism is, acknowledge the behavior and the reasons behind it. For example, hand-flapping, spinning, and other repetitive movements are how many autistic kids self-regulate in response to overwhelming emotions such as excitement or frustration. Talk with your child about how they react to the same emotions.

Do they scream? Jump up and down? Run around? The more kids understand the reasons behind the behaviors, and realize that the expressions are simply different than their own, the the more likely they will be to accept them.

Foster empathy for the differently wired brain

Understanding how my child thinks and experiences his environment is one of the things that has challenged me the most as a parent.

Imagine being dropped into a culture completely different from your own, one that has a radically different sense of humor, expectations around politeness and niceties, how and when to show anger, etc. If you’ve ever had this experience, you know how hard it can be to understand even basic social rules and norms. That’s how autistic people describe their everyday social interactions.

And while my son is working hard at learning “social thinking” skills to enable him to communicate in appropriate ways with his peers, I’m keenly aware that his peers aren’t necessarily learning “autistic thinking” skills to enable them to meet him where he is, too. In a neurodiverse world, it’s important for neurotypical people to understand, to the extent that we are able, how autistic and other non-neurotypical people perceive the world.

Flipping the tables on perspective-taking is important, because autistic kids become autistic adults.
Flipping the tables on perspective-taking is important, because autistic kids become autistic adults—they are the coworkers and partners that we will work and spend our lives with.

Schools and workplaces need to openly acknowledge autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders in the same way that they acknowledge other kinds of difference. We need a neurodiversity curricula to incorporate readings, discussions, and activities to encourage students not only to understand how neurologically diverse brains are wired, but to develop neurodiverse social skills that promote inclusion and acceptance of non-neurotypical kids.

Our kids are learning to think how neurotypicals do. It’s not too much to ask for some reciprocity.

Explain that communication comes in all different forms

Some kids with autism struggle with language acquisition, and some use very little spoken language at all. However, even so-called “non-verbal” autistic kids communicate. In the same way that deaf people use sign language, non-verbal autistic kids rely on gestures, pictures, and typing.

Kids with milder forms of autism tend to think literally, and can’t understand metaphors or wordplay. This can lead to miscommunication and confusion. If your child has an autistic child in his or her classroom, talk with your child’s teacher about how your child and others in the classroom can best communicate with that child. And if your kid has a friend on the spectrum, explain how to communicate with them directly.

Teach that inclusion, while not always easy, is worthwhile

The autistic brain is unique, capable of recognizing patterns and identifying inconsistencies in logic and flaws in data. The highly visual thinking abilities of some autistic kids makes some of them incredible artists and creative problem solvers. Kids with milder forms of autism often become talented engineers, computer programmers, mathematicians, and musicians.

At the same time, few caregivers or autistic people would argue that living with autism is easy. Many autistic people are extremely sensitive to light, sounds, certain smells, textures, and tastes; they are easily overwhelmed by things are unpredictable and unscheduled. All this makes daily life is a veritable minefield, leading to meltdowns.

One of the misconceptions about autistic kids is that they don’t like to be around other people.
Many parents who have kids on the spectrum don’t tell other parents because they fear their kids will be excluded from parties and playdates, and indeed, this is a common occurrence for many autistic kids. One of the misconceptions about autistic kids is that they don’t like to be around other people.

To be sure, my son often refuses to attend birthday parties because he becomes overwhelmed, and he’s slow to warm up on playdates. He also takes “brain breaks” to read or just tune out. But just like everyone else, my son craves human connection and friendships. He just connects differently, and at his own pace.

If your kid has a friend or sibling on the spectrum, they will undoubtedly experience the highs and lows that come with autism. Teach them that it’s worthwhile to cultivate these relationships—the perspectives and insight they will gain from having an autistic friend or sibling will be unlike any other relationship in their lives.

Resources for Kids

I Love Being My Own Autistic Self
Inside Aspergers, Looking Out
Can I Tell You About Autism?
All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome
The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism
Sesame Street and Autism

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When model Mara Martin was one of 16 finalists selected to walk in the 2018 Sports Illustrated Swim Search show, she was thrilled to fulfill a lifelong dream. And when she woke up the day after the show to see that she and her baby daughter had made headlines around the world, she was thrilled all over again.

Martin breastfed her 5-month-old daughter Aria while walking in the runway, and the story spread quickly.


"It is truly so humbling and unreal to say the least," Martin wrote in an Instagram post Monday. "I'm so grateful to be able to share this message and hopefully normalize breastfeeding and also show others that women CAN DO IT ALL! But to be honest, the real reason I can't believe it is a headline is because it shouldn't be a headline!!! My story of being a mother and feeding her while walking is just that."

SI Swimsuit Editor MJ Day says the breastfeeding moment wasn't planned in advance, but it worked out wonderfully. Day was speaking with the models backstage when she noticed Aria was peacefully nursing away. Having breastfed her own two children, Day recognized this as a powerful moment in the making, according to SI Swimsuit.

"I asked Mara if she would want to walk and continue to nurse. She said 'Oh my gosh, yes! Really? Are you sure?', and I said absolutely! I loved the idea to be able to allow Mara to keep nursing and further highlight how incredible and beautiful women are," Day explained.

Martin hopes that her moment in the spotlight can help other mamas feel comfortable nursing when and where they feel like it, but she doesn't want to overshadow some of the other women who took part in the show.

"One woman is going to boot camp in two weeks to serve our country," she wrote. "One woman had a mastectomy (@allynrose), and another is a cancer survivor, 2x paralympic gold medalist, as well as a mother herself (@bren_hucks you rock) Those are the stories that our world should be discussing!!!!"

And thanks to Martin's powerful motherhood moment, now, people are.

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Dear Jeff Bezos and all who have anything to do with Amazon Prime Day,

I just want to start by saying—I know you are trying to be helpful. I love you all for that. I honestly do. But, you are kind of making me feel a lot of pressure today. Like, in a good way, but also, in an anxious way.

Let me explain…

On any given day, as a mother to three children, I have a certain level of anxiety. While it's not constant, I do have my anxious moments. Why? Because there are various versions of the following: Me asking my two older daughters to get their shoes on what feels like 500 times as I am changing my 9-month-old's very, very, very messy diaper while I am trying to figure out what I can throw on to wear in about five seconds while I am repeating brush your teeth, brush your teeth in my head so I, in fact, don't forget to brush my teeth.

Not even to mention the mental load that weighs on my mind every single day. Remember to flip the laundry, fill out the school forms, cancel that appointment, reschedule this appointment, order more diapers, figure out what we're having for dinner, squeeze in a shower, lock the basement door so the baby can't get down the stairs, find better eczema cream for my middle daughter, get more sunscreen...the list goes on and on and on.

But then you Amazon Prime Day me and I'm having a lot of feelings about that.

Because you're reminding me of things I need to order, to think about, to be on top of more.

The little potty that's on sale reminds me that I need to step up my potty training game for my 2-year-old. That super cute dollhouse reminds me that I need to think about my daughter's first birthday in two months (WHAT!). That face mask reminds me that I need to remember to wash my face before bed because I forget waaaay more than I remember which is terrible.

But then I realize, these deals are going to save my mental load by fixing my life. Right?

Like, I never knew I needed an Instant Pot until you told me it was only $58. Now I am scouring Pinterest for meals I want to prep in my own. THIS POT IS THE TICKET TO GETTING MY LIFE IN ORDER.

Do we need more plates and cups for the kids? I mean really they only probably need about two plates and two cups each but YES. Yes I do need more cute kids kitchenware. THESE PLATES ARE THE TICKET TO BEING A GOOD MOM.

What would I do if I had five Echo Dots? I don't know, but let's find out because they're only $29! THESE DOTS ARE THE TICKET TO EFFICIENCY.

If I order a Vitamix at 30% off, I know I'll lose the baby weight. Think of all the smoothies I'll mix up! I mean, I just lost a pound even thinking about the smoothies that thing can whip up. THIS VITAMIX IS THE TICKET TO A SEXY BOD.

Buying this trendy, floral dress will step up my mom style significantly. THIS DRESS IS THE TICKET TO KEEPING MY COOL.

Okay, then after I add all the fixers to my cart, I realize… I have 99 things, but necessity ain't one.

I mean, I have everything from waterproof band-aids to bras to dresses for myself and my kids to an alarm clock and books. I basically feel like Oprah—You get an Audible subscription! You get an Audible subscription!—but instead of these products magically being paid for by Queen O herself, the money is coming from my bank account, which is a lot less fun of a game, TBH.

And if I am being honest, I don't need much help with my order-things-from-Amazon-and-pretend-it's-being-paid-for-with-Monopoly-money game as I am quite often coming home to an Amazon package wondering what it could be, opening it with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning—even though I am the exact person who ordered whatever is inside of that Amazon box.

But today, on Amazon Prime Day, you tempt me with all the deals. And yes, my anxiety, blood pressure and adrenaline rise. And yes, my bank account might temporarily decrease—BUT if we are being fair, with the savings I'm getting on things I would buy anyway, I am basically making our account increase overall. Right?

And while these things aren't going to make me skinnier, or cooler, or more put together—I'm okay with that. I am doing a pretty good job on my own. But some of them will actually help my life in a few different ways at a reasonable price, and I am grateful for that—for real.

Now, Bezos, please end this 404 error nonsense and let me purchase all the things!

Thank you for all the savings and excitement,

Mamas everywhere

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Usually when celebrities post swimsuit photos on Instagram they don't exactly look like your average beach-going mom, but former Bachelorette (and mom of two) Ali Fedotowsky posted a series of bikini photos on Monday that are both beautiful and relatable.

"This might be my most vulnerable post on Instagram ever," she wrote in the caption for the photos which show a postpartum belly that looks like a real postpartum belly.

"At the end of the day, I know it's important to be open and honest about my postpartum body in hopes that it helps even one person out there who is struggling with their own body image," Fedotowsky (who just gave birth to her second child in May) wrote.

In the first photo of the series she's wearing a sarong around her stomach, but in the second and third photos Fedotowsky reveals the kind of stomach many mamas sport: It's not perfectly taut, she's not showing off any abs, but it is definity beautiful.

"If you swipe to see the second photo in this post, you see that my body has changed. My skin around my stomach is very loose and stretched out, I'm 15lbs heavier than I used to be, and my cup size has grown quite significantly," Fedotowsky writes.

The photos are a sponsored post for Lilly and Lime Swimwear (a line made for women with larger busts) but that doesn't mean it wasn't brave. In fact, the fact that it's an ad makes it even more amazing because research shows that when advertising only shows us bodies that don't look like our own, women become "generally more dissatisfied with their body and appearance".

Ali Fedotowsky

On her blog Fedotowsky notes that a lot of comments on her previous Instagram posts have been followers remarking how slim she looks, or how much they wish they looked like she does postpartum. By dropping that sarong and showing her tummy Fedotowsky is showing other mothers that there is nothing wrong with their own.

"While I appreciate the positive comments, you guys are always so good to me, I keep trying to explain that I'm just good at picking out clothes that flatter my body and hide my tummy," she wrote on her blog.

"I bounced back pretty quickly after I gave birth to Molly. But things are different this time and I'm OK with that. I'm learning to love my body and embrace how it's changed. I hope I get back to my pre-pregnancy shape one day, but that may never happen. And if it doesn't, that's OK."

Ali Fedotowsky

It is okay, because our bodies are more than our swimsuit selfies. They the vessels that carry us through life and carry our children and provide a safe, warm place for those children feel love.

Loose skin is a beautiful thing.


Thanks for keeping it real, Ali.

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  • Tia Mowry's honest post about her post-baby body is what every new mama needs to see 👏
  • Hilary Duff shares how pregnancy changed her body–and her confidence
  • J. Crew's new line with Universal Standard is size-inclusive—and we're here for it 🙌

Amazon shoppers were anxiously awaiting the countdown to Amazon Prime Day, but when the clock struck one, er three, the website went down.

On Monday afternoon shoppers were trying to get their hands on the much-hyped Prime Day deals but instead of low prices, many users just saw 404 errors, continuously refreshing pages, or had issues keeping or adding items to their shopping carts.

CNBC reports shares of Amazon were down during the shopping glitch, and many shoppers took to Twitter and Instagram to discuss how all they could see on Amazon were the dogs who decorate the site's 404 pages.

As cute as the dogs are, shoppers are getting tired of seeing them, so hopefully Amazon gets things back up and running soon. Analysts had projected Amazon would rake in $3 billion dollars this Prime Day. Time will tell how much of that was lost during the great dog picture debacle of 2018.

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