A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood

Since my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, one of my biggest worries has been how he would be perceived and treated by his peers as he grew up in our neurodiverse world.


Although I love his unique way of seeing the world, I’m also aware that his social challenges make his daily life a struggle. At home, my husband and I encourage him to pursue his unique passions while providing the scaffolding of rules, consistency, and order that make him feel safe. But sometimes, a quiet dread fills me as I imagine his future.

We live in a world of complexity and nuance, and nowhere is that more evident than in the social sphere, where autistic kids struggle the most. Social interactions are rarely predictable; they are filled with metaphors, innuendos, subtleties of gesture and tone that neurotypical people take for granted. 

To overcome their “mindblindness,” kids like my son, who have milder forms of autism, are encouraged to develop social thinking skills—essentially, how to read body language, imagine other people’s thoughts, anticipate reactions, and control their own.

That can be done through classes, play groups, books, videos, and other tools. And although social interactions will always generally be challenging, given these tools, many autistic kids can adapt to and thrive in their social environments. 

My son’s quirks are a fundamental part of who he is, so I also believe that my son should be accepted and embraced for who he is.

For decades, making autistic kids “indistinguishable from their peers” has been the guiding principle behind many therapies and interventions to which autistic kids are exposed. As a parent, I get it.

I don’t want my kid excluded because he hums all the time, or prefers to wear his clothes backwards because they feel better to him, or because he can’t stop talking about his special interests. I also want him to develop genuine, reciprocal relationships with his peers. 

And yet, my son’s quirks are a fundamental part of who he is as a human being, so I also believe that my son should be accepted and embraced for who he is.

Although we can be thankful that autistic kids are no longer institutionalized and wholly excluded from participating in mainstream classrooms and environments, they often continue to be segregated in special ed classrooms, and ignored or bullied by peers who don’t have the skills to communicate or develop meaningful relationships with them.

Neurotypical Kids Aren’t Prepared to Live in an Increasingly Neurodiverse World

This is a mistake.

  • One in 68 people are on the autism spectrum.
  • It’s estimated that 5-10 percent of kids have ADHD.
  • Around 10 percent of the population is dyslexic.

Our kids live in a world where they will have friends, teachers, boyfriends, girlfriends, colleagues, bosses and family members who are on the autism spectrum or have any number of other neurodevelopmental disorders. Like other forms of diversity, exposure to neurodiversity is now a given. And yet, neurotypical kids are not prepared to live in an increasingly neurodiverse world.

We need to equip them with tools to understand how autistic people and other non-neurotypicals experience the world, and how to meaningfully include them in their lives. In celebration of Autism Acceptance Month, I’d like to offer a few ways to get started.  

Neurotypical or NT, an abbreviation of neurologically typical, is a neologism originating in the autistic community as a label for people who are not on the autism spectrum. However, the term eventually became narrowed to refer to those with strictly typical neurology. –  Neurotypical – Wikipedia

Acknowledge difference but emphasize shared humanity

Kids are not the magical color-blind, difference-blind creatures that many people wish they were. Between the ages of 2 and 5, kids start to notice differences in gender, race, and abilities. They also begin reinforcing and shunning deviations from social norms.

The best way to raise accepting and inclusive kids is to acknowledge, talk about, and explain behavior. The behavior of autistic kids, for instance, can range from mildly eccentric—maybe a kid who won’t stop talking about train schedules or outer space, long after the rest of the group has moved on—to more noticeable behaviors, including hand-flapping, rocking back and forth, and meltdowns.

Explain what autism is, acknowledge the behavior and the reasons behind it. For example, hand-flapping, spinning, and other repetitive movements are how many autistic kids self-regulate in response to overwhelming emotions such as excitement or frustration. Talk with your child about how they react to the same emotions.

Do they scream? Jump up and down? Run around? The more kids understand the reasons behind the behaviors, and realize that the expressions are simply different than their own, the the more likely they will be to accept them.

Foster empathy for the differently wired brain

Understanding how my child thinks and experiences his environment is one of the things that has challenged me the most as a parent.

Imagine being dropped into a culture completely different from your own, one that has a radically different sense of humor, expectations around politeness and niceties, how and when to show anger, etc. If you’ve ever had this experience, you know how hard it can be to understand even basic social rules and norms. That’s how autistic people describe their everyday social interactions.

And while my son is working hard at learning “social thinking” skills to enable him to communicate in appropriate ways with his peers, I’m keenly aware that his peers aren’t necessarily learning “autistic thinking” skills to enable them to meet him where he is, too. In a neurodiverse world, it’s important for neurotypical people to understand, to the extent that we are able, how autistic and other non-neurotypical people perceive the world.

Flipping the tables on perspective-taking is important, because autistic kids become autistic adults.
Flipping the tables on perspective-taking is important, because autistic kids become autistic adults—they are the coworkers and partners that we will work and spend our lives with.

Schools and workplaces need to openly acknowledge autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders in the same way that they acknowledge other kinds of difference. We need a neurodiversity curricula to incorporate readings, discussions, and activities to encourage students not only to understand how neurologically diverse brains are wired, but to develop neurodiverse social skills that promote inclusion and acceptance of non-neurotypical kids.

Our kids are learning to think how neurotypicals do. It’s not too much to ask for some reciprocity.

Explain that communication comes in all different forms

Some kids with autism struggle with language acquisition, and some use very little spoken language at all. However, even so-called “non-verbal” autistic kids communicate. In the same way that deaf people use sign language, non-verbal autistic kids rely on gestures, pictures, and typing.

Kids with milder forms of autism tend to think literally, and can’t understand metaphors or wordplay. This can lead to miscommunication and confusion. If your child has an autistic child in his or her classroom, talk with your child’s teacher about how your child and others in the classroom can best communicate with that child. And if your kid has a friend on the spectrum, explain how to communicate with them directly.

Teach that inclusion, while not always easy, is worthwhile

The autistic brain is unique, capable of recognizing patterns and identifying inconsistencies in logic and flaws in data. The highly visual thinking abilities of some autistic kids makes some of them incredible artists and creative problem solvers. Kids with milder forms of autism often become talented engineers, computer programmers, mathematicians, and musicians.

At the same time, few caregivers or autistic people would argue that living with autism is easy. Many autistic people are extremely sensitive to light, sounds, certain smells, textures, and tastes; they are easily overwhelmed by things are unpredictable and unscheduled. All this makes daily life is a veritable minefield, leading to meltdowns.

One of the misconceptions about autistic kids is that they don’t like to be around other people.
Many parents who have kids on the spectrum don’t tell other parents because they fear their kids will be excluded from parties and playdates, and indeed, this is a common occurrence for many autistic kids. One of the misconceptions about autistic kids is that they don’t like to be around other people.

To be sure, my son often refuses to attend birthday parties because he becomes overwhelmed, and he’s slow to warm up on playdates. He also takes “brain breaks” to read or just tune out. But just like everyone else, my son craves human connection and friendships. He just connects differently, and at his own pace.

If your kid has a friend or sibling on the spectrum, they will undoubtedly experience the highs and lows that come with autism. Teach them that it’s worthwhile to cultivate these relationships—the perspectives and insight they will gain from having an autistic friend or sibling will be unlike any other relationship in their lives.

Resources for Kids

I Love Being My Own Autistic Self
Inside Aspergers, Looking Out
Can I Tell You About Autism?
All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome
The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism
Sesame Street and Autism

Comments20x20 ExportCreated with Sketch.
Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

Subscribe to get inspiration and super helpful ideas to rock your #momlife. Motherhood looks amazing on you.

Already a subscriber? Log in here.

Starting your child on solids can be a daunting process. Between the mixed advice that seems to come from every angle ("Thanks, Grandma, but pretty sure one dessert is enough…") to the at-times picky palates of our little ones, it can be tough on a mama trying to raise a kid with a sophisticated palate.

But raising an adventurous eater doesn't have to be a chore. In partnership with our friends at Raised Real, here are eight tips to naturally encourage your child to nibble and taste with courage.

1. Keep an open mind. 

As the parent, you set the tone for every bite. So stay positive! Raised Real makes it easy to work new and exciting ingredients into every meal, so you'll have plenty of opportunities to practice modeling open-minded eating. Instead of saying, "You might not like this" or "It's okay if you don't like it" from the start, keep your tone upbeat—or simply serve new dishes without any fanfare at all. (Toddlers can smell a tough sell from a mile away.) Either way, let your child decide for themselves how they feel about new dishes.

2. Show mealtime some respect. 

Spend less time in the kitchen and more time together at the table with Raised Real meals, which come prepped and ready to steam and blend. They're even delivered to your door—because they know how busy you are, mama. Think about it: Do you enjoy a meal you've had to rush through? Keep meals relaxed and let your child savor and taste one bite at a time to take any potential anxiety out of the equation. (This may mean you need to set aside more time than you think for dinner.)

3. Serve the same (vibrant) dish to the whole family.

Don't fall into the "short-order cook" trap. Instead of cooking a different meal for every family member, serve one dish that everyone can enjoy. Seeing his parents eating a dish can be a simple way to encourage your little one to take a bite, even if he's never tried it before. Since Raised Real meals are made with real, whole ingredients, they can be the perfect inspiration for a meal you serve to the whole family.

4. Get kids involved in prepping the meal.

Raised Real's ingredients are simple to prepare, meaning even little hands can help with steaming and blending. When children help you cook, they feel more ownership over the food—and less like they're being forced into eating something unfamiliar. As they grow, have your children help with washing and stirring, while bigger kids can peel, season, and even chop with supervision. Oftentimes, they'll be so proud of what they've made they won't be able to wait to try it.

5. Minimize snacking and calorie-laden drinks before meals. 

Serving a new ingredient? Skip the snacks. Hungry kids are less picky kids, so make sure they're not coming to the table full when you're introducing a new flavor. It's also a good idea to serve in courses and start with the unfamiliar food when they're hungriest to temper any potential resistance.

6. Don’t be afraid to introduce seasoning!  

Raised Real meals come with fresh seasonings already added in so you can easily turn up the flavor. Cinnamon, basil, turmeric, and cumin are all great flavors to pique the palate from an early age, and adding a dash or two to your recipes can spice up an otherwise simple dish.

7. Make “just one bite” the goal. 

Don't stress if your toddler isn't cleaning their plate—if he's hungry, he'll eat. Raised Real meals are designed to train the palate, so even a bite or two can get the job done. Right now the most important thing is to broaden their horizons with new flavors.

8. Try and try and try again. 

Kids won't always like things the first time. (It can take up to 20 tries!) If your child turns up her nose at tikka masala the first time, that doesn't mean she'll never care for Indian food. So don't worry. And be sure to try every ingredient again another day—or the next time you get it in your Raised Real meal box!

Still not sure where to start? Raised Real takes the guesswork out of introducing a variety of solids by delivering dietician-designed, professionally prepped ingredients you simply steam, blend, and serve (or skip the blending for toddlers who are ready for finger foods)—that's why they're our favorite healthy meal hack for kids.

Raising an adventurous eating just got a whole lot simpler, mama.

This article is sponsored by Raised Real. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

You might also like:


Pumpkin spice lattes are here and the weather is getting chillier. That can only mean one thing—Halloween is near! Whether you're a fan of the holiday or not, there's simply nothing more precious than dressing up your baby or toddler in an adorable costume.

Today only, Target has up to 40% off Halloween costumes for the entire family. We rounded up the cutest picks from the baby + toddler departments—check 'em out. 😍

Toddler Halloween Costumes: Shark

Shark costume, $15.00 (was $25.00)

BUY

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

You might also like:

In the moments after we give birth, we desperately want to hear our baby cry. In the middle of the night a few months later it's no longer exactly music to our ears, but those cries aren't just telling us that baby needs a night feeding: They're also giving us a hint at what our children may sound like as kindergarteners, and adults.

New research published in the journal Biology Letters suggests the pitch of a 4-month-old's cry predicts the pitch they'll use to ask for more cookies at age five and maybe even later on as adults.

The study saw 2 to 5-month olds recorded while crying. Five years later, the researchers hit record again and chatted with the now speaking children. Their findings, combined with previous work on the subject, suggest it's possible to figure out what a baby's voice will sound like later in life, and that the pitch of our adult voices may be traceable back to the time we spend in utero. Further studies are needed, but scientists are very interested in how factors before birth can impact decades later.

"In utero, you have a lot of different things that can alter and impact your life — not only as a baby, but also at an adult stage," one of the authors of the study, Nicolas Mathevon, told the New York Times.

The New York Times also spoke with Carolyn Hodges, an assistant professor of anthropology at Boston University who was not involved in the study. According to Hodges, while voice pitch may not seem like a big deal, it impacts how we perceive people in very real ways.

Voice pitch is a factor in how attractive we think people are, how trustworthy. But why we find certain pitches more or less appealing isn't known. "There aren't many studies that address these questions, so that makes this research especially intriguing," Hodges said, adding that it "suggests that individual differences in voice pitch may have their origins very, very early in development."

So the pitch of that midnight cry may have been determined months ago, and it may determine part of your child's future, too. There are still so many things we don't know, but as parents we do know one thing: Our babies cries (as much as we don't want to hear them all the time) really are something special.

You might also like:

[Note: This post was written by a woman who's been a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, and a work-from-home mom. She's felt the unique joys and challenges of each, and is here to scream from the rooftops: none of them were easy. None were perfect. And definitely, none came without guilt.

There's always greener grass somewhere, and always will be. Don't forget to look down at your feet from time to time–the ground you're standing on right now is actually pretty awesome.]


Dear Stay-at-home mom,

Can I be honest? Sometimes, I get jealous of you.

Like, when I picture your mornings, minus the chaos of hustling kids out the door to daycare. I picture breakfasts eaten without staring at the clock, maybe a morning kids' show, everyone still in PJs.

I see you taking the kids to the zoo or the park or the lake mid-morning, snapping selfies with them and texting your husband the funny thing your oldest said.

I see you throwing a load of laundry in the dryer when you get home (or whenever you WANT!), playing goofy games with the kids over lunch, eating food you didn't have to pack at 11pm the night before.

When the youngest goes down for a nap, I see you getting things done around the house, or working on your in-home business, or bonding with your oldest over a craft project. I see you witnessing every milestone and every funny moment, amassing memories that will make you smile years from now.

I see you, glowing and healthy from days spent outside, chatting up the other moms at the park or the library or the gym, wearing whatever the heck you want, never going to boring department meetings, never realizing mid-day that you forgot to put deodorant on and can't do a thing about it…

It all seems so nice, as I sit in my cramped, sunless office, stressing about the project I'm way over my head in and wondering what my kids are doing right now (that I'm missing).

But don't worry. I know there's more to it than that.

I know you also deal with meltdowns, and picky eaters and fighting over toys (over everything), and long, lonely days where you're way over-touched and you don't talk to a single person over the age of four.

I know there are rainy days, snowy days, teething days, and inexplicably-crazy-kids days.

I know you go to the same park a bazillion times a week, repeat the same phrases to your kids all day, play the same games over and over, and prepare and clean up SO MUCH food.

I know you're desperate for alone time and adult time, and I know you feel guilty when you take that out on the kids. I know you think about your education and your pre-kids career, and you wonder if you're doing the right thing. I know you wish you could contribute more financially. I know you worry that you're pouring so much of yourself into your kids that you might lose sight of who you are.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that I see you, and I recognize the sacrifices you're making for your family. It's easy for me to focus on the highlights of your life—the things I'm personally missing out on—but I know that's not the full picture.

The truth is, neither of our lives is perfect or easy, but they're both pretty dang awesome—just in slightly different ways.

I see you, and I support you. Keep it up, girl!

Love,

Working Mom

Dear Working mom,

Can I be honest? Sometimes, I get jealous of you.

Like, when I picture your mornings, sipping a still-hot latte, alone at your quiet desk. I see you going to important meetings, talking to important people about important things (or at least, talking to adults about adult things).

I see you grabbing lunch with your coworkers, gossiping about the office, maybe on an outdoor patio, maybe over some giant salads and still-cold iced teas.

I see you giving presentations, in that cute tailored blazer you have, speaking eloquently and confidently to a room of people who respect your ideas.

I see you planning out your days (and having that actually be a useful endeavor), working on projects that interest and challenge you, getting recognized for your hard work from your peers and superiors. I see you traveling for work—sitting on a plane (ALONE!), staying in a nice hotel room, eating dinner on someone else's dime. I see how proud you are of your career, how good it makes you feel. I see how extra special the time you spend with your kids is—the way you're eager to pour into them in the evenings and on weekends, the way you treasure every minute…

It all seems so nice, as I sit here eating leftover cold chicken nugget bits off my son's plate, half-heartedly yelling at the kids to stop tackling each other and preemptively beating myself up for all the TV I know I'm going to let them watch later.

But don't worry. I know there's more to it than that.

I know that you still feel guilty sometimes after dropping off your kids, especially when they cling to you and cry. I know you envy the person who gets to spend their days with your children, seeing the funny things they do and hearing the funny things they say. I know you hate being stuck in your office on a beautiful day, wondering what your kids are up to and wishing you could be part of it.

I know it's hard at the end of the day, when everyone's tired and hungry and cranky, and you're desperately cobbling dinner together before the frantic rush of baths and bedtime, and you SO wish it could be different because those are the only precious hours you get together as a family. I know it sucks to have to cram all the housework and errands into the weekends. I know you get lonely when you travel, and all the nice dinners and hotel rooms in the world can't compete with those little faces at home that you can't kiss goodnight. I know you miss your kids, and you wonder if you're doing the right thing.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that I see you, and I recognize the sacrifices you're making for your family. It's easy for me to focus on the highlights of your life—the things I'm personally missing out on—but I know that's not the full picture.

The truth is, neither of our lives is perfect or easy, but they're both pretty dang awesome—just in slightly different ways.

I see you, and I support you. Keep it up, girl!

Love,

Stay-at-Home Mom

Originally posted on Madison Moms Blog.

You might also like:

You've probably seen this interaction play out in your home many times: You're playing with your baby (about a year old) on the floor and then realize you need to get up and do something in another room. You leave the room briefly and your baby starts to cry—she's missing you.

You may be slightly surprised (or maybe a bit annoyed) that they're so dependent on you. You hurry back to them and all is well within their world once again.

This simple interaction may seem inconsequential to us today, but 50 years ago researchers used a similar scenario (in a lab) to develop what at the time was considered a somewhat revolutionary psychological idea—attachment theory. Attachment theory forever changed how we understand the parent-child relationship.

What founders John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth came to understand that previous behavioral psychologists had not, was that attachment is developed in the context of a responsive relationship, not just through feeding.

Previously, psychologists had thought that as long as a baby's physical needs were met, they would thrive. After seeing the damaging emotional effects of children being separated during hospitalizations and war, Bowlby and Ainsworth began to more closely examine how the psychological bond develops between babies and caregivers in the early years of life.

At its essence, attachment theory focuses on the emotional bond between caregiver and baby, not just the physical interaction that occurs through feeding, changing diapers, etc. Ainsworth concluded that the interaction between the parent and child is key to determining what type of attachment is formed.

If the parent is responsive to the child's emotional need for security and safety, the child learns that the parent can be relied upon. In contrast, if the child's needs are met with unresponsiveness from the parent, the child learns that the parent cannot be relied upon and the child may develop means of coping with this such as becoming overly clingy or avoiding the parent.

The subtle interplay of attunement

All this discussion of attachment and responsiveness may have you wondering about your own mothering experience. Am I responsive enough to my baby? What about that time my baby had to wait to be fed because we were driving home?

We've all had experiences in motherhood where we realize our attunement with our baby was a little off. That day you were SO exhausted you could hardly function during the day. That time you misread you baby's signals about being tired and kept them up too long. The beauty of attachment theory is that it allows room for missteps. The research behind it does not presume that mothers are perfect. As preeminent British pediatrician and psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott suggests in his description of motherhood:

"The good-enough mother… starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant's needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant's growing ability to deal with her failure..."

In other words, the "good enough mother" is one who establishes an attachment with her baby early on by attending to her every need, even at the sacrifice of her own needs. This establishes a relationship in which the baby knows they are cared for and the parent can be trusted to meet their needs.

However, this level of constant attention and self-sacrifice cannot be continued indefinitely.

At some point, the mother will "fail" in little ways that require the baby to adapt or cope with stress. Here, of course, I am not implying instances of negligence or abuse. Those circumstances fall into a whole other category. The little "failures" are the little instances when mother and baby are not completely attuned—the misread signal of hunger, the delayed nap.

Intrinsic to attachment theory is the idea that these little "failures" or breaks in attunement are actually important to the developing child. Those times when you felt like you "missed the mark" in understanding your baby's needs, are the times that help your child grow in crucial skills.

These little disruptions in attunement, if resolved, help your child slowly learn about coping with stress, and lead to independence. As the years pass, these "failures" help children understand how conflicts in relationships can be resolved peacefully and build trust. Trust, of course, is one foundation of a healthy relationship. Children who have a deep-seated trust are more likely to accept your guidance (even discipline).

Can a baby be too attached?

If you've spent time around folks of an older generation lately, you may have heard a well-meaning elder comment that you "don't need to hold that baby all the time. It will make them spoiled." Now, most of us in this generation of parents know that you really cannot "spoil" a baby. Babies' only means of communicating their needs is through crying and holding a baby a lot is no longer thought to be linked to any later behavioral issues.

However, this does bring up the issue of whether parent and baby can be "too attached." We have all seen the kids who cling to mom or dad's leg in social situations, well beyond the age when they could walk on their own or the baby that fusses anytime anyone but mom holds them. While onlookers often chide the parents that these children are "mama's boys" or "spoiled," research might look at this in another light.

As we have seen, attachment is really about responsiveness—responding to a need, not predicting a need or ensuring that a child never experiences a need. This is where a key distinction comes into play.

If a parent is genuinely responding to a child's need, the likelihood of becoming "overly attached" is usually not an issue. However, there are rare occasions where a parent is preemptively responding to a child out of their need.

This situation becomes one less about attachment and more about over-parenting. If parents are actively interfering with a child's normal desire for exploration or independence (with the exception of safety concerns), then the relationship is no longer a responsive one.

At that point, the parent is not responding to the child's inherent need for exploration. As we saw in the discussion of attunement, if there are never any breakdowns in attunement, a child may not learn the coping skills needed to ultimately face the world.

In an atmosphere of strong attachment, most children will feel safe and secure enough in their parents' care that they will eventually explore on their own. However, that exploration comes on their schedule, not based on other's expectations.

It's important to remember here that we in American culture really value independence. As soon as our toddlers can toddle, many folks expect them to be off and running with the 5-year-olds, playing independently. This is a cultural expectation, but not necessarily a developmental one. Most kids inherently stay fairly close to their parents until their early elementary years.

The role of temperament in attachment

Another key piece is the child's temperament. We are just now beginning to understand the complex interaction between a child's temperament and their attachment style. Temperament is that collection on inherent tendencies your child has toward the world. These tendencies have to do with areas such as activity level, persistence, adaptability or intensity.

If you've been a parent for any length of time, you realize how different kids can be in terms of temperament and it often emerges in infancy. Some babies are "laid back" and do not respond strongly to changes in routine or environment, while others react much more easily.

These normal differences in temperament might influence the attachment of parent and child if the parent comes to interpret the child's behavior as problematic or inconsistent with the family's values.

For example, consider a child who has a more introverted, cautious temperament with a parent who has a more extroverted, outgoing temperament. The parent might interpret the child's cautious behavior as difficult or burdensome due to the fact that it is so different from her own tendency to be outgoing. If the parent starts to encourage the child to be overly friendly or outgoing in situations where the child is uncomfortable doing that, a breakdown in responsiveness could result.

In other words, the role of responsiveness in building attachment has to come from a place of understanding that particular child's needs, not a presumptive understanding of need based on the parent's desires.

In our modern parenting world dominated by tidbits of advice, collections of strategies and no shortage of labels, attachment theory reminds us of one important truth: Parenting is a relationship. It's not a job or a collection of techniques or even something to be mastered.

Parenting, in its best form, is the process of forming a lifelong relationship with your child. Like all relationships, each parent-child attachment relationship is as unique and nuanced as your child.

You might also like:

Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our  Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.