A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood

I will admit to feeling more than a little apprehensive these past few months. If anything will make you more political, it’s becoming a parent. Suddenly I’m not just invested in decisions about my own life. I’m worried about a whole generation from now.


It’s hard to know where to start with affecting any change at all. We’ve been talking a lot in our house about love and letting the love inside our hearts be more powerful than other feelings. These are things my small children can understand.

But talking about the very real and very imminent threats to our environment is a little harder. How do I tell them that I’m worried for the earth they will inherit? How do I tell them that the planet they grow up on and pass on to their own children is less rich, less diverse, and less wild than the one I enjoyed when I was little? And do I tell them that it’s our fault?

There are hundreds of ways that we can affect positive change for the environment every day. But the single most important change we can affect as parents is the generation we raise. If we want to save the planet, we need to raise children who will speak up for it, take action, and stand against the destruction of natural resources.

Saving the planet isn’t going to be easy. Here are five ways parents can help:

Talk about feelings

It’s no secret that developing empathy starts at home, but have you ever thought of it as a skill that goes hand-in-hand with conservation?

Empathy begins before your child is even verbal. It might seem ridiculous to scoop your tantruming toddler off the floor and croon, “You are frustrated. I can tell how frustrated you are because you can’t have that fork. I get frustrated when I can’t have something that I want, too.” As strange as it may feel at first, naming emotions and relating these emotions to others, will become second nature to a child whose caregivers model empathy for him from an early age.

Empathy does not end with human interaction. It also extends to nature and the natural world. Humans, after all, are not the only living things with needs. Kids who practice empathy are more likely to perceive themselves as having positive connections with nature. They are also more likely to participate in nature-based activities and environmentally friendly practices.

Begin to build empathy from a young age by naming the emotions that your child is experiencing. As she grows older, get her thinking about how others are feeling, too. Kids can build empathy for nature and the environment through simple acts, like feeding birds, planting seeds, or picking up litter. Discussing the whys of these simple actions will drive home their importance.

Take your children outside to play

Over the past two years, the benefits of outdoor activity have become a regular part of the parenting conversation. The physical and mental benefits of outdoor play have been well-documented, and even health practitioners are becoming more and more likely to recommend time outdoors as a part of everyday physical and mental preventative healthcare.

But not much has been said about the way these experiences shape our children over the long term. The greater benefits to the community are less often discussed. Not surprisingly, kids who play outside regularly are more likely to become the environmental stewards of tomorrow.

The roots of emotional affinity are planted in childhood. You know how the smell of fresh baked cookies brings you straight back to playing with Legos on the floor of grandma’s kitchen? Or how the old dusty baseball diamond behind Town Hall still draws a nostalgic smile as you imagine tapping the bat on home plate one more time?

These memories stay with you because of their positive associations, and they evoke positive emotions long after they’re gone. By letting your kids experience nature, especially in its wild state, they naturally develop emotional connections with the natural environment.

You can make the impact even stronger by teaching your child about local ecology and wildlife. Kids exposed to wild settings through hiking, camping, and playing in the woods develop a deeper connection to nature than kids who play on playgrounds or parks. Take your children to the woods and let them run wild. Teach them about the plants and animals they see.

Kids who form an early emotional affinity for wildlife, nature, and outside recreation are more likely to grow into adults who exhibit environmentally-positive behaviors (like recycling and use of alternative energy) and are more likely to identify as conservationists. They grow into adults who are willing to spend time, energy, and even money to protect the natural world.

Recognize real science

From the youngest age, your children look up to you. You have a limited window during which they take your word as gospel. A tooth fairy that flies into rooms at night to replace baby teeth with hard cash? Yes. Vegetables that make you able to see at night? Sure. Mommies and daddies and everyone else all go to bed right now, too? Definitely.

While you still have their attention, make sure you impart some basic, important wisdom as well. For example, start here: climate change is real. Even if nothing changes, the planet is in big, big trouble. If you think your child is too young to learn about climate change, don’t worry. The conversation starts simply with science.

Teach your child to recognize and appreciate science. Reinforce the validity of real science. On a daily basis, this means talking about the science in our lives. You can read books about weather, explorers, or technology. Create a sense of reverence and respect when talking about science. Encourage questions about the natural world or scientific phenomena, and look up the answers together. As you do so, narrate the types of sources you’re seeking. Talk about how to decide if a source is valid or not.

Climate change scientists insist on the importance of presenting facts to young children in an age-appropriate way, while taking special care to do so without being too pessimistic. Michael Mann, climate scientist and author of the 2012 book “The Hockey Stick and the Climate Wars”, discussed how he talks to his daughter about climate change with The Yale Forum.

Mann proposed that “we must gradually introduce our children to the natural world and the environment, and the threats to it that currently exist because of what we are doing. But we must provide hope and optimism, make sure they can envision a brighter future.” 

Envisioning that brighter future starts with a realistic idea of what we’re up against.

Use and discuss logical consequences

It’s important to make connections between our actions and the results, both immediate and long term. An easy way to start making these connections with your child is to use logical consequences in your home.

Here’s how it works. Did your child draw on the walls? Instead of putting her in timeout, try telling her that she’s no longer allowed to use her art supplies without a grown-up until she earns back your trust. This is not a punishment. It’s the logical consequence of her choice to misuse her crayons.

It works both ways. Did your child do a faster than usual job of cleaning up toys tonight? Tell her that with the time saved by cleaning so quickly, she can choose an extra story before bed. She will learn that when she takes care of her responsibilities without dragging her feet, she has more time to do the things she enjoys. Connecting actions and consequences, both good and bad, is important if we want to raise kids who will think about long term consequences.

At the same time, teach kids how to affect positive changes in their immediate environment. Pick up litter, plant a tree, grow your own food, or start practicing some small hikes to build up to a big one. When children are empowered to take action on behalf of the environment and understand the power of their actions, they are more likely to participate – and continue participating – in those pro-environmental behaviors.

On the other hand, children who aren’t educated about their environment are more likely to exploit it.

Get rid of stuff

We are a nation of consumers. It’s easy to get caught up in the race to have the best things, the biggest things, the most things. Consumption fuels industry, and the industry in our world is almost maxed out. Do your part to curb consumption and live more sustainably by opting out of the consumer race.

Kids aren’t immune to consumerism. In fact, advertising companies target them in particular. The youth-marketing industry is a multi-billion dollar market. The popular documentary, “Consuming Kids: The Commercialization of Childhood”, claims, American children now influence an estimated 700 billion dollars in annual consumer spending.

By purging unnecessary belongings, raising kids who are grateful, and modeling that people and experiences matter more than material things, we can raise kids who don’t buy into the standard consumer dialogue.

Raise a savvy consumer who recognizes the ways in which he’s being targeted by advertisement. Inspire conversations about the difference between wants and needs. Talk to family members about limiting the amount of things that comes into your house for birthdays or holidays. Instead of giving out flimsy plastic favors at a birthday party, give out seed packs or host a book exchange.

Kids who learn to be media-smart will be less likely to fall into the consumer trap. Instead, teach them to fix things that are broken, to pass on items that they no longer use, to accept hand-me-downs from others, and to never, ever judge their worth or someone else’s based on material belongings.

The world we will pass on to our children isn’t the one we grew up with. If we want to take responsibility for that, we need to give our kids the tools they’ll need to affect the change we haven’t.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

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We've seen the tired old trope in articles, commercials and television shows so many times: working moms just have too much to do. They're chauffeuring kids around to evening practices, making lunches after said kids go to bed and staying up till the wee hours of the morning catching up on their relentless and stressful jobs. The message is clear: working moms are tired and burnt out. They don't get enough time for themselves because they're so busy giving it all to their families and their jobs. But does this really line up with the working mothers you know?

Here's a secret many working mothers have figured out: less really is more. The minimalist movement—simplifying your life and stuff to gain more time—has revolutionized life as a working mother. The minimalist mom gets a full night of sleep, has time with her kids and, importantly, has time for herself. Here's how:

1. She says no.

A minimalist mom knows her limits, her interests and what the tipping point is for herself and her family. So, she limits volunteering to what interests her and what she can reasonably fit into her life. She guards her Wednesday nights—the night she always takes off from family duties to hit a yoga class or do something for herself—fiercely. She also says no to her kids: it's one out-of-school activity at a time and Sunday mornings are always for family. She's also mastered saying this at work: No, I can't take your work on. No, I won't be staying late to finish your last-minute request.

2. She knows where to spend her money for increased quality of life.

She would rather hire a bi-weekly cleaner than buy a pair of designer jeans. Weeknight meals are easy and from the slow cooker or just a simple spread of crackers, cheese and fruit. Fast food and takeout is expensive, and she'd rather spend that money on a babysitter and three courses at that new trattoria for date night. She is happy to buy the expensive snow boots for her oldest so they last through all three kids—saving not only money, but also time shopping. The kitchen renovation can wait until the youngest is out of daycare. Until then, she'd rather use fun money to buy an extra week of vacation and road trip as a family. Her spending aligns with one of her biggest values: having time for the things and people she loves.

3. She doesn't care what other people think.

Her workwear is five outfits for each season and no more. It's professional, flattering and easy. No one notices if you've worn the same outfit for seven Tuesdays in a row. She doesn't care what grandiose delicacies are brought for the school bake sale: She brings the same delicious butter cookies (the ones that they can freeze a quadruple batch of dough for) to every event requiring a cookie or baked good. Keeping up with the Joneses—who are stressed out and broke—isn't her thing.

4. Her kids do some things, not everything.

The family lives by a shared Google calendar and there are set rules around weekend playdates and kids' activities. Their kids have a healthy mix of structured activities and unstructured play time. She is a person first; chauffeur, playdate arranger and sideline soccer mom second.

5. She delegates like the boss that she is.

She hasn't done kid laundry since her oldest could reach the stacked washer dryer on his own. Her husband alternates meal planning and grocery shopping with her every week and makes all the kids' dentist appointments (she does the doctor appointments). She only takes the dog for a walk when she wants to; otherwise the kids do it. When an older kid forgets his or her lunch at home, they know that they have to figure it out for themselves: raiding their stash of granola bars in their locker or borrowing money from a friend for lunch. She understands she can't do it all, but rather, she and her family can do the basics together.

6. She knows what she and her family need (and want).

Her non-negotiables are her running group that has met every Saturday at 7 A.M. for a decade, a long weekend away with her spouse every fall and bedtime stories with the kids at least three nights a week. She knows what people and things fuel her—this makes it easy to say no to things that don't. She has a rule for friends that invite her to those kitchen gadget/jewelry/leggings parties: if she knows the salesperson well, she'll buy one item but won't attend the party. Every other invitation is a no.

7. She has hard and fast rules around taking work home with her.

Her team knows that if they have something urgent after 6 P.M. they better call her. She doesn't check email once she has left the office until 6 A.M. the next morning. When she gets home from a week of work travel, she takes a four-day weekend. Her schedule is blocked out from 4 P.M. onwards. so she isn't scheduled into end-of-day meetings that could run long. She meditates for 10 minutes at the end of her shift so she can leave the work stress at work. She guards her personal time and mental space fiercely.

8. She views work as a break from family time and family time as a break from work.

Being mentally present and engaged at work and at home means no guilt over enjoying her balance of work and family life. She cheerfully enjoys that there's no diapers to change for nine hours a day Monday to Friday, and when she's home she revels in being out of her office and untethered from her phone and laptop. Learning to quickly switch gears from work, family and personal time is a skill she has mastered to simplify her life.

The minimalist working mother doesn't do it all: she does the things that are important to her and to her family. Her list is unique to her and no one else. How she spends her time and her money directly aligns with what she values. This ethos of living her values makes it clear, fast and easy to make decisions. She knows that time is her most valuable resource and she spends it wisely at home and at work.

Originally posted on Working Mother.

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When I was pregnant I worried about what would happen if the baby cried for me while I was in a deep sleep. Like so many pregnancy worries, though, blocking out my baby's cries was something I didn't really need to be concerned about. An alarm clock can go off inches from my head and I'll sleep through it for hours, but if my baby cries at the other end of the house, I'm wide awake.

It turns out, the sound of my baby crying impacts my brain very differently than a beeping alarm.

I'm hardly the first parent to make this observation, and science is on to it, too. There's plenty of research about how a baby's cries impact its mother on a physical level. A study of mother mice published in Nature found that adding oxytocin (a hormone released in strong doses during labor and lactation) to the brains of the mamas changed the way they processed the sound of crying pups—and helped them learn how to recognize and respond to the sounds.

A dose of this “motherhood hormone," it seems, leads to increased sensitivity to the sound of your child in distress.

According to Robert Froemke, that study's senior investigator, this suggests oxytocin amplifies the way the auditory cortex processes incoming cries from our own babies. He says the same seems to be true for female mice as female humans: The sound of a crying baby stirs up a great sense of urgency.

This physiological reaction allow us to develop rapid, reliable behaviors to our babies' cries, says Froemke. In time, it also helps us learn what the cries mean—and how we can respond in a helpful way.

When our babies cry, “[as parents, we] don't know what's really going to work, we just try a bunch of stuff. Let's change a diaper, let's feed the baby, let's do a little dance," he says. “Eventually we learn this repertoire of parenting skills because we're all in, we're all invested and that baby depends on us absolutely to take care of it."

Researchers believe that it may be this hormonal shift in the brain that alerts a mother to the sound of her child's cry.

Mothers' brains have a different level of sensitivity to crying babies

In humans and in mice, dads often respond to a baby's cries, but the brain chemistry is a little different: According to Froemke, extra oxytocin doesn't speed up the reaction to crying pups in male mice the way it does for females.

"There is a difference in terms of [ a father's] sensitivity to oxytocin. We think that may be because the male oxytocin system is already maxed out," he explains, adding there is something about living with a female and child that contributes to a natural oxytocin increase in mouse dads. (Further proof moms aren't the only ones to deal with big hormone changes.)

But when it comes to the brains of human parents, there is more evidence that the brains of men and women respond to crying babies differently. A study published in NeuroReport looked at the brains of 18 men and women who heard a baby crying while inside a brain scanner. The women's brain activity suggested an immediate alertness, while the men's brain activity didn't change.

That study suggests there are gender differences in the way we process baby sounds, but a lot of dads will tell you they can't and don't sleep through a baby cries. And that's for good reason: According to Froemke, it's no biological accident that babies signal distress in a way that can pierce parents brains even when our eyes are closed.

"Parents have to sleep, too," he says, but, "Sounds penetrate our brains, they tap into something deep and we can quickly rouse from a deep slumber, jump out of bed and tend to infant needs."

Just as my son is biologically wired to be my personal alarm clock, I am biologically wired to hear him—even if I can still sleep through everything else.

[Originally published October 18. 2017]

[Editor's note: This story is a letter from a woman to her husband. While this is one example of one type of relationship, we understand, appreciate and celebrate that relationships come in all forms and configurations.]

To my husband,

We met when I was 22. We started building a life together. We became each other's best friend, cheerleader, guidance counselor, and shelter from the storm. We laughed together, cried together, and stood up in front of all the people who matter to us and vowed to stay together until one of us dies.

We said the words without irony or hesitation, knowing that while we weren't perfect, the problems we could face in life would never be enough to break us.

And babe, I had no clue what our future held. But I knew I wanted to experience it only with you.

Then we got pregnant! And when our son was born, I marveled at the fact that we made a person. You and me. It honestly still blows my mind even five years later.

I'd heard women say things like, I fell in love with my husband all over again once I saw him as a daddy. I love watching you be a daddy, too—but just like becoming a mother has been transformative for me, becoming a father has been transformative for you, too. And it has taken us some time to get to know the new versions of ourselves.

We worked together—mostly on the same team—and have shared so many beautiful lessons and experiences together. Everything is new when you're a first-time parent! And this new dynamic of three definitely threw us for a loop—I wasn't used to sharing your attention with someone else, and I wasn't used to sharing my attention with someone other than you.

It took a few years to hit our stride. I think maybe we never had big things to disagree on before we became parents. It threw me off to be anything but harmonious with you. But just like we said we would on that gorgeous September wedding day, we found our way back. We stayed on each other's team.

And then I got pregnant again.

We were planning a huge life change already— moving across the country to start anew, restart your business and make a new future. I didn't have an easy pregnancy this time. And generally, for many reasons, life seemed harder than ever.

Our daughter was born and it didn't take long for postpartum depression to steal me away, for far longer than I should have allowed it to. I was scared to get the help I needed and I let it get the best of me. I'm truly sorry for that. I'm mostly sorry that I sometimes let it get the best of us.

It's easy to love a partner when it's just the two of you. Our priorities were never tested then—you were at the top of my to-do list, and I was at the top of yours. But—funny thing—this whole parenting thing seemed to make life a little more complex. And when your kids are little, and completely dependent upon you, there are many days when there just isn't much left over for anything or anyone else.

Babe, we're in it right now. Really in it. These are the parenting trenches. The baby years. These years can make or break us. And can I be so bold as to say: I think they're making us.

They're making us learn how to communicate better. How to find common ground when we disagree about real stuff, like the ways we want to raise our children. We're invested in not only the outcome but the short term effect. We're a team.

They're making us think about the future. Not just the fun stuff, but the difficult stuff like estate planning, life insurance, and college funds for the kids. They're making us challenge ourselves to provide our children with comfort and opportunities. We've always worked hard but the stakes have never been this high.

You know I'm the optimist, the dreamer, while you consider yourself the realist—but I think we can agree on this: going through some of the tough stuff with you by my side has shown me that we are stronger than the tough stuff. We can get through it. We can get through anything. As long as we hold on to each other.

Motherhood transformed me. Fatherhood transformed you. And having kids completely transformed our marriage. We'll never be who we were on our wedding day again.

Time marches forward—only forward. I miss the carefree version of "us", but I love this version even more. Because we know what we're made of now, and in so many ways we didn't before.

I'm sure that in our lifetime, many more obstacles will arise that will transform our marriage. But I've never been more confident that whatever may be, we'll find a way through it—together.

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Baking Christmas cookies together is a family tradition for many, but the Centers for Disease Control is warning parents that if your recipe contains raw flour or raw eggs, you really shouldn't sneak a bite before it is cooked, and neither should your kids.

The CDC is warning people not to eat raw cookie dough, cake mix or bread as we head into prime baking season.

The agency acknowledges the appeal of a spoonful of chocolate chip goodness but asks that we "steer clear of this temptation—eating or tasting unbaked products that are intended to be cooked, such as dough or batter, can make you sick."

Salmonella from raw eggs is, of course, a concern, and so is the raw flour. According to the CDC, flour needs to be cooked in order to kill germs like E.Coli. That's why the CDC is asking parents to "say no to raw dough," not just for eating but even for playing with.

"Children can get sick from handling or eating raw dough used for crafts or play clay, too," the CDC posted on its website.

On the Food and Drug Administration's website, that agency advises that "even though there are websites devoted to 'flour crafts,' don't give your kids raw dough or baking mixes that contain flour to play with." Health Canada also states that raw flour should not be used in children's play-dough.

The warnings follow a 2016 E.coli outbreak linked to contaminated raw flour. Dozens of people got sick that year, and a post-outbreak report notes that "state investigators identified three ill children who had been exposed to raw flour at restaurants in Maryland, Virginia, and Texas. Restaurant staff had given them raw dough to play with while they waited for their food to be served."

The CDC worries that with flour's long shelf life, products recalled during the 2016 outbreak may still be in people's pantries (although the CDC notes that any raw flour—recalled or otherwise—should not be consumed).

If your kids do have flour-based play dough, don't worry.

Some parents are still choosing to use flour-based craft dough to make Christmas ornaments or other crafts this holiday season and are reducing the risks by A) making sure the kids aren't eating their art, and B) thoroughly washing little hands, work surfaces, and utensils when the dough play is over.

Other parents are choosing other types of craft clay over flour-based dough.


During the 2016 outbreak, the FDA called for Americans to abstain from raw cookie dough, an approach Slate called "unrealistic and alarmist," noting that "the vast, vast majority of people who consume or touch uncooked flour do not contract E. coli or any other infection."

Two years ago, 63 Americans were made sick by E. coli infections linked to raw flour, according to the CDC. We don't know exactly how many Americans ate a spoonful of cookie dough or played with homemade play dough that year, but we do know that more than 319 million Americans did not get sick because of raw flour.

Are there risks associated with handling and consuming raw flour? Yes, absolutely, but it's not something to panic over.

Bottom line: Don't let your kids eat raw dough when they're helping you bake cookies for Santa, and be mindful of raw flour when choosing crafts for kids.

(And if you have just got to get your raw cookie dough fix, the CDC notes that cookie dough flavored ice cream is totally safe as it "contains dough that has been treated to kill harmful bacteria." Sounds like mama's getting Ben & Jerry's tonight.)

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