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Is your teen in the running for the “Laziest Kid on the Planet” award?


Are sightings of your teen largely limited to fleeting glances of a skulking, bleary-eyed, pajama-clad figure on a nightly run to the fridge for pudding cups and energy drinks? Have you had to take your child to the ER to safely pry a smartphone from a hand that had seemingly curled permanently around it? Have you found yourself wondering, perhaps around noon time, if your sleeping child could have lapsed into a coma?

Don’t make space on that trophy shelf just yet. Science says that your teen has a lot of competition for that Laziest Kid award, and stiff competition at that.

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In a study that will surprise exactly zero parents, teenagers were found to be at exceptionally high risk of leading a far too sedentary lifestyle. One particularly gasp-worthy finding was that sixty-year-olds and nineteen-year-olds get about the same amount of exercise, and that amount could fairly be described as “little to none.”

The good news is that you can take action to ensure that the empty space on your mantle waiting for that “Laziest Kid” trophy remains unoccupied. Help your teen buck the trend by choosing one or more of these suggestions to get them moving this summer.

Summer jobs (paid)

Forget retail and fast food. Lounging behind a cash register at the mall isn’t going to help much. Fried temptations at their fingertips at a quick service restaurant are often counter-productive, as well. Though it would seem like lifeguarding is a good option, a great deal of time is spent the same way teens often spend time at home: sitting.

Instead, encourage your teen to pursue employment that demands physical activity. Schlepping groceries or working as stock clerks are great for teens who want to get fit or want to develop their physical strength. Landscaping and yard mowing not only get them outdoors, but provide a lot of valuable cardio over the course of a shift. Running after children as a babysitter or camp counselor may be more up your teen’s alley, and can be a good source of physical activity as well.

Dog walking, car washing, swim instruction – even a gig as a shopping cart rounder-upper at the local Wally World or home improvement store can mean that your teen is meeting or beating the CDC’s recommendation of 60 minutes a day of moderate to strenuous physical activity. As an extra bonus, your teen will have more money in his or her pocket to blow on that $150 pair of jeans, the purchase of which they believe is the only move that can possibly save them from a tragic fate as an instant social pariah.

Unsure of your state’s laws regarding at what age kids are allowed to work or what permits he may require? You can find the scoop on ages, paperwork, and other work-related information specific to teens at the Department of Labor’s website here.

Summer jobs (unpaid)

As much as they claim to loathe it, working around the house during the summer is not deadly, nor does it mean your child will be doomed to a life of indentured servitude. Summer projects around the house can actually be fun and fruitful.

Choose something for which your teen actually derives a benefit. It’s up to you whether that benefit is monetary (i.e., you literally pay them) or non-monetary. Whether they get cash for it or not, you’ll have an easier time selling this idea to your teen if they can easily see that they will derive a personal, direct, quick benefit from it.

Does your teen want to use the car? Try an hour-for-hour trade of car-related (even loosely related) duties for time they may spend using the car. If they clock two hours cleaning the garage, that’s two hours’ worth of time they can have the car for their own purposes. Wash and wax Mom’s truck for an hour, get an hour of truck use in exchange.

Does your teen complain about a boring room or lack of privacy? Get them a bucket of paint in the color of their choosing and have them paint their own room. Have a particularly ambitious teen with some woodworking skills? Offer partial “ownership” of a backyard shed they build themselves over the summer. Here are some drool-worthy examples for inspiration. Once completed, let your teen use it as a space for band practice, a private getaway from the siblings, or safe storage for their stuff if they’re soon leaving for college.

Summer sports

Participation in organized sports offer a number of benefits, but its ability to get teens moving is one of the most important. Practices have set times, and failure to perform has set consequences. For kids with a competitive spirit, sports can provide the perfect way to channel it.

Some teens flounder over the summer due largely to the season’s stark lack of structure. During the school year, there is literally a reason for teens to get up in the morning and a reason to get to bed at a reasonable hour at night. Over the summer, the structure of the school day and the associated academic demands disappear. Including team practices in a teen’s summer schedule can give them the structure they need to not only to get themselves moving, but to manage their time from a more general standpoint.

Community “rec” teams are a possibility for some younger teens, but those tend to disappear quickly as a teen gets older and sports become more intense and more serious. If rec teams aren’t really an option in your area, consider encouraging your teen to volunteer as an assistant coach, trainer, or referee for younger kids’ teams.

Summer hobbies and volunteering

For kids who are either too young to work or are not well-suited for a structured employment environment, cultivating an interest in active hobbies may be just the ticket. Active hobbies include can include anything from community volunteering to training for a 5k to fun apps for gamers that get players out of the house and moving.

Habitat for Humanity, for example, sponsors a youth program that provides volunteering opportunities for kids aged five and up. Houses of worship of nearly every faith regularly offer summer programing for young children for which they actively seek teenage chaperones/volunteers. The United Way offers yet another source for parents seeking active volunteering opportunities for teenagers.

Teens who are tightly tethered to their devices may balk the idea of being separated from their precious [insert Gollum-esque growl here]. Even these teens can be coaxed, but you might need to be sneaky about it.

Consider suggesting activities or apps that encourage device-dependent teens to get outdoors and get moving. Geocaching, an activity that has recently seen a massive increase in numbers of devoted adherents, is one such activity. Teens can use their phone’s GPS to search for caches. It’s fun, it’s educational (shh – maybe don’t mention that bit), and it demands plenty of walking. Triple win.

Gamer teens might enjoy apps like Pokemon Go. While very clearly a game, it also requires, by its very nature, a great deal of walking. As an extra bonus, teens can explore parts of their communities they might otherwise never visit. Other games based on the Pokemon Go concept include Ingress (by Niantic, the same company that delivered Pokemon Go), Temple Treasure Hunt, and Resources.

Summer bonding

A treasured rite of passage, you can’t beat summer camp for motivating teens to get outdoors and get active. Younger teens will enjoy their time as campers and older teens can take advantage of (often paid) opportunities to serve as counselors. The variety of camp types available boggles the mind. If kids and teens have an interest in it, there’s probably a camp devoted to it.

Whether your kid is into music, basketball, horses, or just plain old friendship, finding a camp to suit his or her interests is often a Google search away. In addition to having fun and getting moving, participating in summer camp also gives kids a chance to form lifelong bonds with children from outside their usual social spheres (school, church, or neighborhood).

Bonding with peers is an important part of adolescence, but family bonding is crucial during this developmental phase as well. Consider some activities your teen might enjoy doing with you, your spouse, his or her siblings, or even the entire family.

Is your teen developing an interest in cooking or has she decided to explore veganism? How about making a family project of creating a backyard vegetable garden? Plenty of outdoor gardening time plus fresh vegetables at your fingertips is a winning combination. The sense of accomplishment for a teen serving up a meal she literally created from start to finish is unmatched.

Consider investing in fitness trackers for the whole family, and set a family goal of collectively achieving a certain number of steps by summer’s end. Plan an extra special celebration or purchase of a mutually appealing item for the whole family to enjoy (e.g., weekend trip to an amusement park, a pool table, a trampoline) if you achieve your goal.

Whether via a job, volunteer opportunity, hobbies, camps, or family projects, today’s teens needn’t be saddled with the health problems that accompany a sedentary lifestyle. By modeling healthy levels of activity yourself and encouraging your teen to pursue an active lifestyle, you are setting your teen up to develop lifelong, life-extending habits. Mark this summer as the one when you took action to ensure your mantle never sports a “World’s Laziest Kid” trophy.

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When it comes to holiday gifts, we know what you really want, mama. A full night's sleep. Privacy in the bathroom. The opportunity to eat your dinner while it's still hot. Time to wash—and dry!—your hair. A complete wardrobe refresh.


While we can't help with everything on your list (we're still trying to figure out how to get some extra zzz's ourselves), here are 14 gift ideas that'll make you look, if not feel, like a whole new woman. Even when you're sleep deprived.

Gap Cable-Knit Turtleneck Sweater

When winter hits, one of our go-to outfits will be this tunic-length sweater and a pair of leggings. Warm and everyday-friendly, we can get behind that.

$69.95

Gap Cigarette Jeans

These high-waisted straight-leg jeans have secret smoothing panels to hide any lumps and bumps (because really, we've all got 'em).

$79.95

Tiny Tags Gold Skinny Bar Necklace

Whether engraved with a child's name or date of birth, this personalized necklace will become your go-to piece of everyday jewelry.

$135.00

Gap Brushed Pointelle Crew

This wear-with-anything soft pink sweater with delicate eyelet details can be dressed up for work or dressed down for weekend time with the family. Versatility for the win!

$79.95

Gap Flannel Pajama Set

For mamas who sleep warm, this PJ set offers the best of both worlds: cozy flannel and comfy shorts. Plus, it comes with a coordinating eye mask for a blissed-out slumber.

$69.95

Spafinder Gift Card

You can't give the gift of relaxation, per say, but you can give a gift certificate for a massage or spa service, and that's close enough!

$50.00

Gap Stripe Long Sleeve Crewneck

This featherweight long-sleeve tee is the perfect layering piece under hoodies, cardigans, and blazers.

$29.95

Gap Chenille Smartphone Gloves

Gone are the days of removing toasty gloves before accessing our touchscreen devices—thank goodness!

$9.95

Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug

Make multiple trips to the microwave a thing of the past with a app-controlled smart mug that'll keep your coffee or tea at the exact temperature you prefer for up to an hour.

$79.95

Gap Flannel Shirt

Our new favorite flannel boasts an easy-to-wear drapey fit and a flattering curved shirttail hem.

$59.95

Gap Sherpa-Lined Denim Jacket

Stay warm while looking cool in this iconic jean jacket, featuring teddy bear-soft fleece lining and a trendy oversized fit.

$98.00

Gap Crazy Stripe Scarf

Practical and stylish, this cozy scarf adds a pop of color—well, colors—to any winter ensemble.

$39.95

Nixplay Seed Frame

This digital picture frame is perfect for mamas who stay up late scrolling through their phone's photo album to glimpse their kiddos being adorable. By sending them to this smart frame to view throughout the day, you can get a few extra minutes of sleep at night!

$165.00

Gap Crewneck Sweater

Busy mamas will appreciate that this supersoft, super versatile Merino wool sweater is machine washable.

$59.95

This article was sponsored by GAP. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and Mamas.

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There's a lot of discussion about the importance of early education—but what about soft skills like respect and kindness? How can mamas teach children important values like cooperation, gratitude, empathy or politeness?

These values are basic, foundational beliefs that help us know right from wrong, that give balance and meaning to life and that enable us to form community bonds with one another. These soft skills are crucial for kids to learn at any age, and it's important for them to be reinforced, both in the classroom and at home, throughout their childhood.

Here are fundamental ways to build character in your young children:

Kindness

Performing random acts of kindness can have a positive influence on both the individual showing and receiving the kindness. As a family, think of ways that each one of you can show kindness to others. Some ideas may include baking cookies for the mail carrier, donating an unopened toy to a local charity, purchasing canned goods for a homeless shelter or leaving notes and drawings for the neighbors. Include your child in the process so they can see firsthand the joy that kindness can bring to others.

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Responsibility

Children have a strong desire to mimic adult family members. Encourage your child to help complete simple chores in and around the house. Children feel a great sense of accomplishment when they can do their share and feel that sense of responsibility. Two-year-olds will enjoy folding towels, putting books away, putting paper in the recycling box and tending to the garden. Older children may enjoy helping out in the kitchen or with yard work.

Patience

Patience is the ability to demonstrate self-control while waiting for an event to occur. It also refers to the ability to remain calm in the face of frustration. This is a skill which develops in children as they mature. While it is important to practice patience, adults should also be realistic in their expectations, evaluate daily routines and eliminate long periods of wait time from the schedule.

Politeness

Schedule a time when the whole family can sit down together for dinner. Model good manners and encourage older siblings and other members of the family to do the same. Use phrases such as, "Can you please pass the potatoes?" or "Thank you." Be sure to provide your child with guidance, by explaining what to do as opposed to what not to do.

Flexibility

Change your routines at home to encourage children to be flexible in their thinking and to try new things. Try being flexible in the small things: enjoy breakfast for dinner, eat ice cream with a fork, have your child read a bedtime story to you or have a picnic in the living room. Let your child know it is okay to do things in a different way.

Empathy

Children are beginning to understand different emotions and that others have feelings. Throughout their childhood, talk about their feelings and share one's own feeling with them as well. By taking the time to listen to how children are feeling, you will demonstrate to them that you care and reinforce with them that you fully understand how they are feeling.

Cooperation

Coordinate playdates or take your children to events where they can practice introducing themselves to other children, and potentially with adults. Find games and other activities that require turn-taking and sharing.

Gratitude

Encourage your child to spend five minutes every day listing the things they are grateful for. This could be done together just before bedtime or after dinner.

Respect

As parents, our goal is to teach children to recognize that even though people have different likes and dislikes or beliefs and ideas, they must treat each other with manners and positivity. Respect should be shown when sharing, cleaning up, and listening to others. Always teach and model the Golden Rule: treat others the way you would like to be treated. Also remind children that respect can be shown towards things in the classroom. Treating materials and toys correctly shows appreciation for the things we have.
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Medical researchers and providers consider a woman's postpartum period to be up to 12 months after the delivery of baby, but too often, health insurance doesn't see it the same way. Nearly half of the births in the United States are covered by Medicaid or the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) and while the babies who are born during these births are eligible for Medicaid or CHIP for a year, their mothers often lose their coverage 60 days after delivering their child. There is clear data showing 70% of new moms will have at least one health complication within a year of giving birth.

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This week, members of Congress' Subcommittee on Health met to mark up H.R. 4996, the "Helping Medicaid Offer Maternity Services (MOMS) Act of 2019, and it was favorably forwarded to the full Committee.

What does this mean? It means that while this bill still has a ways to go before it potentially becomes law, its success would see states get the option to provide 12 months of continuous coverage postpartum coverage to mothers on Medicaid. This would save lives.

As we at Motherly have said many times, it takes a considerable amount of time and energy to heal from birth. A mother may not be healed 60 days out from delivering. She may still require medical care for perinatal mood disorders, breast issues like thrush and mastitis, diabetes, and the consequences of traumatic births, like severe vaginal tearing.

Cutting off Medicaid when her baby is only 2 months old makes mom and baby vulnerable, and the Helping Moms Act could protect families from dire consequences.

The United States has the highest rate of maternal deaths in the developed world, and according to the CDC, "about 700 women die each year in the United States as a result of pregnancy or delivery complications." This is not okay, and while H.R. 4996 is not yet signed into law this bill could help change this. It could help address the racial disparities that see so many Black mothers and Native American mothers dying from preventable causes in the first year of motherhood.

A report from nine American maternal mortality review committees found that there were three leading causes of death that occurred between 43 days and one year postpartum: cardiomyopathy (32.4%), mental health conditions (16.2%), and embolism (10.8%) and multiple state maternal mortality review committees have recommended extending Medicaid coverage to one year postpartum in order to prevent these deaths.

Basically, making sure that moms have have continuous access to health care the year after a birth means doctors can spot issues with things like depression, heart disease and high blood pressure at regular check-ups and treat these conditions before they become fatal.

The Helping Moms Act is a step forward in the fight for maternal health and it proves that maternal health is truly a bipartisan issue. Republicans and Democrats alike recognize the value in providing support for mothers during the postpartum period.

The Helping MOMS Act was was introduced by Democratic Congresswoman Robin Kelly of Illinois, chair of the Congressional Black Caucus Health Braintrust. It was co-lead by Texas Republican Michael Burgess (who is also a medical doctor), as well as Georgia Republican Buddy Carter, Washington Republicans Jaime Herrera Beutler and Cathy McMorris Rodgers and Ayanna Pressley from Massachusettes and Lauren Underwood of Illinois (both Democrats).

"Incentivizing postpartum Medicaid expansion is a critical first step in preventing maternal deaths by ensuring new moms can see their doctor. I'm proud that my colleagues, on both sides of the aisle, came together to put an end to the sad reality of American moms dying while growing their families," said Kelly. "We can't allow the perfect to be the enemy of the good. This is a good, bipartisan first step, but it must be the first of many."

It doesn't matter what your political stripes, reducing America's maternal mortality stats should be a priority.

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Whether you're having a low-key Friendsgiving with your closest friends or prepping to host your first big Thanksgiving dinner with both families, figuring out all of the menu details can be the most overwhelming step. How much should I cook? What ingredients do I need? How does one actually cook a turkey this big?

But, don't worry, mama—HelloFresh is lending a helping hand this year with their Thanksgiving box in collaboration with Jessica Alba. Because you already have enough on your plate (and we're not talking stuffing).


Here are the details. You can choose from two Thanksgiving boxes: Turkey ($152) or beef tenderloin ($132). The turkey box serves 8-10 people while the beef one will serve 4-6 and both are $6.99 to ship. We got to try both and they're equally delicious so you can't go wrong with either one, but the turkey does require a 4-day thaw period so keep that in mind. And if you're wondering what the sides are, here's a sneak peek:

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  • Garlic mashed potatoes
  • Green bean casserole with crispy onions
  • Ciabatta stuffing with chick sausage and cranberries
  • Cranberry sauce with orange, ginger and cinnamon
  • Apple ginger crisp with cinnamon pecan crumble

While someone still has to do the actual cooking, it's designed to take the stress out of Thanksgiving dinner so you can focus on spending time with your loved ones (or watching Hallmark Christmas movies). You don't have to worry about grocery shopping, portion sizes, recipe curation or forgetting that essential thing you needed to make the meal perfect. Everything is super simple to make from start to finish—it even comes with a cooking timeline.

Orders are open through November 21 and can be delivered anytime through November 24. Even better? You don't need a subscription to order.


ORDER A BOX

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My mother's death propelled me to start the process of becoming a parent as a 43-year-old single woman. As my connection to her remained strong in spirit after her death, I was ready to experience the same bond with my own child. I began the journey with Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI), and after three failed attempts at getting pregnant, I decided to adopt.

The adoption process is a lengthy and humbling one—one that includes fingerprints, background checks, references, classes, doing a profile of yourself and your life that birth parents eventually use to choose adoptive families.

After my application was approved, a young couple chose me just a month later. I couldn't believe my fortune. But I had to get to work and prepare the house for my baby's arrival. I bought the best of everything—bassinets, clothes, diapers, car seats… the list goes on. I told close friends and family that it was finally happening.

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But all of this was in vain. The day I was supposed to pick my daughter up, I learned that the birth parents had changed their minds. They no longer wanted to give their daughter up for adoption. As time passed, it was difficult to endure no interest from potential parents but the faith in believing what is meant to be continued. To increase my potential, I enrolled with a second adoption agency.

A few months later, as I was getting ready to try IVF for the first time, I received a phone call to let me know that a woman had selected me to adopt her child. So I opted out of IVF and found myself in a hospital delivery room with the birth mother, assisting her in the delivery of MY child. It was a boy! I was so thrilled, and he was just adorable.

After six years of losses and disappointments, I was able to bring him home and awaited the final word that the mother and father have given the needed consent. I was getting ready to watch the Super Bowl with him dressed in football gear, I got a phone call.

Once again, the adoption agency informed me that the birth mother had changed her mind. That evening, I had to return the baby to his birth mom. I was heartbroken, and my hopes were shattered.

What now? Going back to IVF meant starting from scratch, and that would take a minimum of six months before being able to really start getting pregnant. I was 49 years old, and the clock was ticking. I really wanted to be a mom by the age of 50.

I was in Chicago, recovering from a collapsed lung, when I received yet another phone call from the adoption agency. An expecting mom had chosen me and had already signed over all of her rights. This little girl was mine. For real, this time. But I had to get to Southern New Jersey by Thursday to pick her up from the hospital.

After negotiating with my doctor to give me the green light to leave while recovering from my condition, I hopped on a train, and 22 hours later, I arrived to New York City in a massive snow storm. I took longer than expected to get to her, but after navigating the icy roads of New Jersey, I met my daughter!

She is now 2 years old, and she has changed my life in ways that just can't be fully described. What I can say is that I now understand my mother's love even more and her devotion to me and my siblings, and as I am sharing the same with my daughter, my bond to my mother keeps on growing.

Becoming a mom at 49 was never what I had envisioned. But whether you are trying to conceive or have decided to adopt a child, the road to becoming a parent is rarely easy. I know that inner strength and believing in what was meant to be kept me moving forward.

Life
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