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6 Non-Verbal Ways to Communicate Clearly With Your Child

As a classroom teacher, I regularly get to hear about the endless struggles between children and grown-ups at home.


Parents complain of frequent, annoying behavior issues that drive them nearly mad – endless tantrums from children and having to repeat the same requests again and again. At school, things are both tougher and easier.

In my classroom, I have more kids to encourage and discipline, and I simply cannot afford to repeat myself more than once. If I had to repeat everything twice to every single child in a class of 30, I’d be dead by lunch time.

So what do I do? I use every method of communication that I can – other than talking – to make myself understood. This means that in the six hours that I spend with the children I probably say less than the average parent says in an hour.

Protect your mental health, and to learn how to say everything you need to say without even using any words with these simple strategies:

Eyes

Remember the old expression: eyes are the window to the soul? Make sure your eyes clearly express the cry of your soul when the little buggers are beginning to get on your nerves.

My kids are trained to respond appropriately to a whole range of different eye expressions. Eyes wide open? I’m semi-surprised, or semi-shocked. Eyes fixed on the floor? They know I’m seriously upset. They understand that they’ve either done something they shouldn’t have, or they’ve got to stop whatever it is that they’re doing right now.

Body language

If I slide down in my seat and put my feet on the desk – something I’d only rarely do – my body language is saying, “You’re not focusing and you’re not working hard enough. I’m going to chill and do nothing as well. Don’t wake me up when it’s play time because you ain’t gonna get any if you carry on doing nothing.”

That’s a lot of information all communicated in one theatrical action. But the good news is you don’t need to have such advanced acting skills to make your life a bit easier. You do quite a bit of it naturally already: hands on your hips, arms crossed on your chest, etc.

You just need to make it intentional and broaden your “repertoire” so you’re not doing it unconsciously when you’re already furious, rather using it strategically to achieve a desired effect before things escalate.

Body language is also about where you are in space. If the child is messing around in class, it’s often quite effective to just get into their space. Stand uncomfortably close to them, just watching, and without saying a word. No one wants to have someone stand over them with an air of heavy reprimanding silence. It’s a clear message that they need to reconsider their current behavior.

Writing

A chalk board (or any other writing surface and materials) is great for protecting your vocal cords.

When a child is fiddling and lesson time is wasted, I just write “5 minutes” on a small whiteboard. I show it to the child who knows he owes me five minutes of his playtime. No need to explain anything.

You can do the same at home. If your instructions are ignored, you quietly write the amount of time the process has taken on the board. This is the amount of time your child loses watching a show, playing video games, etc.

You can use simple drawings or symbols depending on what your child best responds to. You can use the board for reminders, rewards, or sanctions. For any kind of message that you don’t want to have to repeat.

Rhymes

This is not exactly a word-free method of communication, but children tend to respond well to it and it does save time and energy. Ask your child’s teacher if they use rhymes or songs in the classroom and then re-introduce them at home. For example, “One, two, three…eyes on me.” is a popular rhyme in elementary school.

Signing

Some of the most commonly used signs in a classroom setting are: sit, listen, wait, take turns. If You can always make up your own. However, it’s obviously best if the same signs are used/understood by all adults working with and caring for the child.

Visuals

Visuals are very helpful when delivering important information about time, or what’s coming next.

Looking at your watch – whether you’re wearing one or not – is a universal visual for communicating that it’s time to go, or that something is taking too long. Sand-timers are a great way to show how much time is left for an activity, or how much time is left before the next transition. Children don’t need to be able to tell time for these to be effective.

Other helpful visuals include things like holding up a book to indicate it’s time to go to the library, or that it’s time to get ready for bed and a story. A re-usable bag could mean that it’s time to go grocery shopping, and a spoon could mean it’s time to get ready for dinner. You can come up with the objects of reference that work for you. Many children love using this sort of “secret code.”

Take time to explore which strategies work for you and your children. Remember that this strategy is primarily about your own mental and emotional welfare. Constantly repeating yourself to no avail becomes irritating and upsetting. If you invest in developing non-verbal communication strategies while your children are little, it’ll save you a lot of time and energy in the future.

Communicating clearly will help you be a better parent – more patience, less snapping.

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Whether you're filling out your own registry or shopping for a soon-to-be-mama in your life, it can be hard to narrow down what exactly new moms need (versus what will just end up cluttering the nursery). That's why we paired up with the baby gear experts at Pottery Barn Kids to create a registry guide featuring everything from the gear you'll use over and over to the perfect gifts under $50.

Check out the picks below, and happy shopping (and registering)!

MUST-HAVE BABY GEAR

These five gift ideas are designed to make #momlife easier while solving some of the most common parenting dilemmas.

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One of the first things you learn when you become a mom? Those infant car seats are heavy. Which is what makes the Doona All-In-One Infant Car Seat/Stroller so genius. It's the world's first completely integrated mobility solution, quickly transforming from safe car seat to functional stroller without any extra parts. Simply pop out the wheels, pull up the handle bar, and you're ready to roll.

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GIFTS THAT CAN BE PERSONALIZED

Even the most utilitarian gift feels a little more special with some personalization. Here are some of our favorite options that can be customized with baby's name or monogram.

1. Nursery Blankets

You'll never forget the blanket you bring your newborn home in. And with Pottery Barn Kids' assortment of blankets, there's a wrap to suit every new mama's style. Choose from fuzzy neutral patterns or stylish printed options, and add baby's name for an extra personal touch.

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1. west elm x pbk Mid-Century Convertible Crib

A convertible crib is an investment in years of sweet dreams. We love this mid-century-style option made from sustainably sourced wood with child-safe, water-based finishes. When your baby outgrows their crib (sniff!), it easily converts into a toddler bed with the matching conversion kit.

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Sometimes the littlest gifts mean the most. Here are our favorite gifts under $50 they'll be sure to cherish.

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Learn more and explore all Pottery Barn Kids' registry must-haves here.

In the moments after we give birth, we desperately want to hear our baby cry. In the middle of the night a few months later it's no longer exactly music to our ears, but those cries aren't just telling us that baby needs a night feeding: They're also giving us a hint at what our children may sound like as kindergarteners, and adults.

New research published in the journal Biology Letters suggests the pitch of a 4-month-old's cry predicts the pitch they'll use to ask for more cookies at age five and maybe even later on as adults.

The study saw 2 to 5-month olds recorded while crying. Five years later, the researchers hit record again and chatted with the now speaking children. Their findings, combined with previous work on the subject, suggest it's possible to figure out what a baby's voice will sound like later in life, and that the pitch of our adult voices may be traceable back to the time we spend in utero. Further studies are needed, but scientists are very interested in how factors before birth can impact decades later.

"In utero, you have a lot of different things that can alter and impact your life — not only as a baby, but also at an adult stage," one of the authors of the study, Nicolas Mathevon, told the New York Times.

The New York Times also spoke with Carolyn Hodges, an assistant professor of anthropology at Boston University who was not involved in the study. According to Hodges, while voice pitch may not seem like a big deal, it impacts how we perceive people in very real ways.

Voice pitch is a factor in how attractive we think people are, how trustworthy. But why we find certain pitches more or less appealing isn't known. "There aren't many studies that address these questions, so that makes this research especially intriguing," Hodges said, adding that it "suggests that individual differences in voice pitch may have their origins very, very early in development."

So the pitch of that midnight cry may have been determined months ago, and it may determine part of your child's future, too. There are still so many things we don't know, but as parents we do know one thing: Our babies cries (as much as we don't want to hear them all the time) really are something special.

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They say there's no use in crying over it, but for pumping mamas, spilled milk is a major upset.

When you're working so hard to make sure your baby has breast milk, you don't want to lose a drop, and Chrissy Teigen knows this all too well.

The mom of two posted a video to social media Wednesday showing her efforts to rescue breastmilk from a tabletop. She used various utensils and a syringe to try to get the milk back in the bottle.

"I spilled my breastmilk and this is how important it is in this house," she says while suctioning up milk with what appears to be a baster.

In a follow-up video Teigen continues to try to rescue the spilled milk.

"We're trying," she says as she suctions up a drop or two. "I got some."

Teigen is currently breastfeeding baby Miles, her son with husband John Legend, and has been very public about the fact that she pumps a lot as a working mom.

She's also been open about the fact that milk supply has always been an issue for her, not just with Miles but with Luna, too.

"I actually loved [pumping] because I'm a collector of things, and so when I found out I could pump I [did it] so much because I knew the more you pumped, the more milk you'd make," she told POPSUGAR back in March. "So I loved collecting my breast milk and seeing how much I could get, even if it was very, very little."

Like a lot of moms, Teigen did struggle emotionally when a pump session wouldn't get her the ounces she wanted.

"I wasn't producing a lot of milk, and it was frustrating. When you're frustrated, [it can also make you] not produce that much."

Research backs her up. Stress has been linked to lower milk production. Because of that, she's trying to stay positive this time around, but captioned her video post "EVERY DROP COUNTS IN THIS HOUSE" because, well, they do.


So many mothers can relate. Have you ever tried to save your breastmilk?

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What is it about networking that's just kind of...awful? Typically inconvenient and often awkward, formal networking events rarely yield the results most women (and especially mamas) are looking for.

Whether you're reentering the workforce post-baby leave or simply looking to make a complicated career switch as a busy mom (or just struggling to juggle play dates and professional meetings), making the right connections is often a hurdle that's difficult to surmount. And more and more often, networking comes up short in providing what moms really need.

When time is truly at a premium—a session swapping business cards can be hard to prioritize. Shapr wants to change all that.

Designed with busy people in mind, Shapr is an app with an algorithm that uses tagged interests, location, and professional experience to match you with 10-15 inspiring professional connections a day. You swipe to indicate interest in networking with any of them, and if the interest is mutual, you're connected. (But don't worry, that's where the similarities to that dating app end.)

It makes it easier to connect with the right people.

From there, you can chat, video conference, and even meet in person with potential mentors, partners, and investors while growing your real-life network. No more wasting hours trying to pick someone's brain only to discover they don't have the right experience you need. And no more awkward, stilted small talk—even suggests a few preset icebreakers to help get the conversation rolling more quickly.

The best part? You could do virtually all your connecting from your couch post-bedtime.

It simplifies switching careers or industries.

Sysamone Phaphone is a real mom who was fed up with traditional networking options. When she quit her full-time job in healthcare to pursue founding a startup, she quickly realized that in-person networking events weren't only failing to connect her to the right people, they were also difficult for a single mom of two to even attend. "I was complaining to a friend that I was so tired and didn't know how I was going to keep doing it this way when she recommended the Shapr app," Phaphone says. "I tried it right there at dinner and started swiping. [Later], in my pajamas, I got my first connection."

From there, Phaphone was hooked. Her network suddenly exploded with developers, potential partners she could work with, and even people to hire for the roles she needed. She was also able to connect with and empower other women in tech. Now, checking in with Shapr connections is just part of her routine. "I look for connections after drop-off at school and on my commute into the city," she says. "Then after bedtime is done, I go on to check if there is anyone I've connected with."

It helps you find a mentor—no matter where they live.

Another common roadblock Shapr removes? Location. While you probably wouldn't fly to LA from New York for a networking event, the Shapr app lets you connect and chat with the person who best meets your needs—regardless of where they're based. Even better for parents, the "mom penalty" many women contend with when trying to get back into the workforce doesn't exist on Shapr—if you have the right experience, the connections will still come.

To connect, simply create your account, enter up to ten hashtags you want to follow (either industry related like #film or #tech or by person you're seeking, such as #developer or #uxui), preset what you're looking for (investors, collaborators, etc.), and indicate how you prefer to meet. To connect with more people at once, Shapr also has community groups within the app around interest topics that you can join. And even though the connection begins in the digital space, it often results in the in-person experiences mamas crave.

"I wish I could encourage more moms and dads to use it because it has been a lifesaver for me," Phaphone says. "It empowered my career and career choices, and it provides so much convenience. I can put my kids to bed and not go to an event, but still meet 20 people in a night."

For women looking to grow their business, position, or simply achieve a little self-growth, Shapr is changing the way we connect. This powerful new app could change everything, mama. Download it today to get started.

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