Many introverted mothers worry that they are harming their extroverted children or holding them back. As an introverted mother I often feel guilty.
But after giving it much thought I’ve decided that being an introverted mother has actually helped my children in many ways. Here are eight of them:
1 | It forces them to talk to others.
Both of my kids are very outgoing. I do know a lot of this is personality based, but I also feel that, because I don’t talk a lot, they take over. When strangers approach us I make my kids talk to them. Maybe not the best approach for stranger danger, but I’m there, so it’s safe. My kids will talk your ears off while I nod and smile.
2 | I read a lot, so my kids want to read.
Most introverts I know read all the time. We like to be in our own little worlds. When my children see me read, they want to read. It’s a large part of all of our lives. We don’t make it to the library as much as my kids would like, because I would rather be home, but it’s one of our more common outings.
3 | I spend a lot of time with my kids.
Being introverted I don’t get out much, because, wow, it’s exhausting. So, most of my time is spent with my kids. I would rather be with my family than anyone else.
4 | We nerd out together.
If I’m not reading it’s likely that I’m watching TV or a movie. Most movies we watch are super hero- or Star Wars- related. My kids can tell you more about the ships of Star Wars than I can.
5 | My love for writing has extended to them.
A lot of introverts also love to write. It’s how we express ourselves, since we don’t talk as much – we write to let our feelings out. I write notes to my children all the time and tell them about articles I’ve had published. I think this is great for them to see me in action!
6 | I choose my words carefully.
I often have an entire conversation in my head before I actually speak to another person. From what I’ve read about other introverts, this is common. Small talk is not an introvert’s thing. We usually only talk about important issues and this is what our children hear. They learn to have meaningful conversations from a young age.
7 | They learn to conquer their fears.
As an introverted mother, I hate confrontation. However, I am a mother and will do anything for my kids. This has taught my kids that they can overcome their own fears. My eldest was not keen on trying new foods, but after seeing me approach another mom about a delicate situation he knew he could try new things, too.
8 | They are dedicated friends.
Like most introverts I only have a few close friends – friends who are willing to attend our kids’ parties, even though they do not have children. When I do attend an event it’s for these people. As a result, my children have learned to dedicate themselves to their friends, too. We are also more likely to have their friends in our home, so I don’t have to leave, and as an added bonus, my kids have learned to be generous hosts.
Being an introvert isn’t all bad. It turns out I’m passing on a lot of great introverted qualities to my very extroverted children.