A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood

Create New Travel Traditions With a Holiday Adventure

For many of us, winter means traveling – and not always the fun kind. When family is far away, we may feel we owe it to them to tote their grandchildren, nieces, and nephews through endless security lines so that we can spend the holidays together. Or perhaps they come to us. Sure, it’s fun to host, but it’s exhausting; we may require an actual vacation once the guests are back home.

Maybe this is the year to do things a bit differently. Give your kids a new sense of what the holidays can feel like and take the road less traveled. Hey, if your family wants to come along, have them meet you there – ideally a day or two after you arrive. Here are a few ideas for winter plans that won’t break the bank (or your spirit).

Try national parks

“America’s best idea” really is that. Millions of acres of pristine mountain ranges, rivers, shoreline, open fields – you name it, there’s a national park for that. Sure, Yosemite and Yellowstone are jammed during school vacations, but have you been to Acadia on the ruggedly gorgeous coast of Maine? How about the majestic Colorado National Monument?

For history buffs, there are National Historic Places, also run by the National Parks Service. And many National Recreation Areas are more popular in summer, so winter can be a great time to go (just be sure you know which roads are open, as there are often seasonal closures).

The areas around parks can be equally fun to explore and local facilities cater to tourists. My family had the trails to ourselves when we cross-country skied just outside of Bryce Canyon National Park. Best of all, the parks are reasonably-priced. If you think you’ll go to several this year, an annual pass is $80. If you happen to have a fourth grader, know that the whole family can get into the parks for free all year, as part of their Know Your Parks campaign. (It’s also free for members of the armed services, and $20 for seniors – another great reason to invite the grandparents.) Check out nps.gov to get inspired.

Try the train

If 11 hours on a train with a three-year-old sounds like a nightmare, know this: it’s not. Not even close. My daughter had so much fun on our train trip from New York to Montreal and back, she talked about it for months.

On long car trips, children need to be strapped into their seats for hours at a time. Traveling by air means security lines, cramped seats, and that dang seatbelt again. But if you haven’t taken a long train ride in a while you may be surprised to learn that, compared to other methods of transit, it can feel downright luxurious. For one thing, train stations are generally situated downtown, whether in a big city like Chicago or a small town like Ticonderoga, New York. This means it’s both easy to get to the train from where you live and a great way to see the pocket of America you happen to be traveling through.

The amenities are also pretty great: all your bags are right in the car with you, either overhead or at the back, so you have easy access to all your things (in case a pack of crayons were to end up, tragically, in the wrong bag). The dining car may not have gourmet food, but it does offer tables for snacking and drawing (with those newfound crayons), as well as a nice change of pace when you’ve been aboard for awhile. The cabin seats recline, have footrests and ample legroom, and even offer outlets and wifi (though depending on the route it may be spotty coverage). Amtrak (and Via in Canada) offer far better rates than most airlines with less stress as children travel for half-price. More details at amtrak.com and viarail.ca.

Try summer destinations in winter

If you’ve never taken a walk on the beach in the middle of winter, do yourself a favor and try it. Some of those places we associate with summer – that cabin on the lake, the beachfront property – are just as beautiful in wintertime. They’re often less expensive, too. Though some regions will be bitterly cold in winter, that may be just the ticket: I’ve never met a kid who was mad at a fireplace and a cup of cocoa at the end of a long day playing in the snow.

If you like winter sports, you’ll pay a premium to be near the mountains, but ice skating on frozen lakes and snowshoeing across farmland are free. If the kids get cold after 20 minutes, you won’t have any regrets about those expensive lift tickets going to waste. (I grew up spending vacations in northern Maine, so I’m very partial to it. Take a look at discovernorthernmaine.com to see why.)

Try time travel

Go someplace where it’s summer. This one may require braving security at the airport, but sometimes it’s worth it. For those living in cold climates, particularly places where winter starts in October and ends in April, all you really want for Christmas is a day at the beach. Luckily, it’s a big world and it’s always summer somewhere.

From the Maldives to Melbourne to Malaysia, it’s not too late to plan something sunny. But if you don’t have the time or money for an epic adventure, there are plenty of US destinations that will feel downright tropical compared to Thanksgiving in Wisconsin, and won’t come close to the cost of a Hawaii trip. Houston and Dallas, for example, ranked first and second in the category of Lowest Travel Costs and Fewest Hassles in WalletHub’s Best Winter Holiday Destinations this year (they ranked sixth and eleventh overall). Dallas boasts warmish weather (often in the 50s and 60s), kid-friendly attractions, and pedestrian-friendly vibe. (They also have Eatzi’s, a fantastic market that feels as if a Parisian boulangerie married Dean & Deluca. If you’re in town, it would be a crime to miss it.)

Santa Fe, Savannah, and San Diego will all be warmer than Massachusetts, Michigan, or Minnesota – pick a place you’ve been wanting to explore and check out what’s happening there this winter. Tripadvisor.com is always helpful in uncovering the “best of.”

Try going against traffic

We found ourselves headed southwest from Vermont on the Saturday of Fourth of July weekend and, though the cars loaded with bikes and kayaks looked like they were headed for fun, we were very glad not to be sitting in that traffic. The same holds true for winter fun. Think about (or Google) the most popular destinations this holiday season, and then think outside the box.

Families descend on New York to see the tree at Rockefeller Center and the windows at Bergdorf Goodman, but did you know that Philadelphia has hosted the Macy’s Christmas Light Show in the National Historic Landmark Wanamaker building since 1956? Or that Columbia, SC boasts the Riverbanks Zoo Lights Before Christmas from November 18 to December 30? Or that Los Angeles’ Griffith Park offers a Holiday Light Festival Train Ride for just four dollars a pop? The point is, you can find wintry fun wherever you go, and if your kids are young enough, they won’t know the difference between Rockefeller Center and the Holiday Lights Festival in downtown Omaha.

Wherever you travel this winter, I wish you short lines, minimal chaos, and easy-to-please children. That’s what I call a happy holiday.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

Subscribe to get inspiration and super helpful ideas to rock your #momlife. Motherhood looks amazing on you.

Already a subscriber? Log in here.

My Instagram feed has been full of pictures of friends that their kids to the beach. I get it, I like the beach a lot. But the forest and the mountains are my real loves.

The way the damp leaves smell in the morning. The peace of walking underneath a canopy of trees. The sound of firewood crackling at night. Sigh, heaven.

I also grew up camping with my family and have done some intense hiking, backpacking and search and rescue. So it's kind of in my blood—I wear my frostbite scars with honor.

So I couldn't wait to get my future kids out into nature (minus the frostbite). I had visions of us hiking to a stream, swimming and splashing all day, then cooking a big meal over a campfire as we sing songs and laugh.

Then, I actually became a parent. Of three kids, actually, all of whom are still very young… and a dog… and a husband who doesn't really like camping.

Despite the realization that it wouldn't be exactly as I planned, this summer we finally decided to take our first camping trip as a family.

Here is what I learned:

1. Set the bar low

I had to remind myself over and over again that this trip would not live up to my expectations. I know this sounds like a bummer way to start a trip, but it really helped. I have the tendency to over-plan and get really (really) excited about things. This is not a bad quality, but it can lend itself to disappointment when things don't go as hoped. I didn't want us to leave the trip feeling like it was a failure in any way.

This trip was a success, and a big moment for our family, no matter how it turned out.

Instead of forcing activities or memories, I forced myself to just… be. Not expecting the trip to be magical opened us up to appreciate the unexpected moments of magic as they occurred naturally, without being forced.

This got harder, of course, when our car got stuck in the mud (true story), and we had to wait three hours for AAA to arrive. But when our kids talk about the camping trip now they still squeal with delight as they recount the story of the tow truck coming. You're welcome (I guess)?

2. We made it really easy

I put my camping ego aside, and we took a lot of shortcuts on this first trip. We didn't stay in a tent but rented a barebones cabin instead. For dinner, we ordered a pizza. And we let the kids play on our phones for a little bit in the evening.

Those things didn't make for a truly authentic experience, but goodness, they really helped. I have started to realize that there is no shame in making things easy, especially when you have little kids. And they didn't know any different. As far as they are concerned, we hiked the Appalachian Trail and gathered all our own food from the earth.

This was a lazy camping trip, for sure—and that was exactly what we needed.

3. I over-prepped for safety so I could calm down

I have hiked and camped in the White Mountains of New Hampshire in February—this was not that. At any given moment on our trip, an ambulance could have easily reached us, and we were only a few minutes away from a hospital at any point. But it made me feel much better to know that we were safe and ready for anything that should happen.

We bought a first aid kit, a survival kit, too many flashlights and bottled water. I was really big on everyone wearing good footwear and teaching them how to walk carefully on uneven terrain.

We also used the opportunity to teach about other areas, like water safety. Rita Goldberg of the British Swim School recommends "[teaching kids] to avoid water hazards and to not approach a fountain, river, pool or lake without an adult's supervision and permission."

We also incorporated their "Water Watcher" program, which assigns a "badge of responsibility" to one adult at all times, who maintains a constant watch over the kids while they are near water.

These easy steps, that we decided on ahead of time, made me feel much more relaxed, and therefore better able to enjoy our time.

This trip took some emotional adjustments on my part. It wasn't glamorous, or particularly exciting. But that was exactly what it needed to be. Emily Glover wrote that "by getting away from the distractions of home and focusing on each other...we're reminded of what really matters."

We found that in the woods—together.

You might also like:

In the moments after we give birth, we desperately want to hear our baby cry. In the middle of the night a few months later it's no longer exactly music to our ears, but those cries aren't just telling us that baby needs a night feeding: They're also giving us a hint at what our children may sound like as kindergarteners, and adults.

New research published in the journal Biology Letters suggests the pitch of a 4-month-old's cry predicts the pitch they'll use to ask for more cookies at age five and maybe even later on as adults.

The study saw 2 to 5-month olds recorded while crying. Five years later, the researchers hit record again and chatted with the now speaking children. Their findings, combined with previous work on the subject, suggest it's possible to figure out what a baby's voice will sound like later in life, and that the pitch of our adult voices may be traceable back to the time we spend in utero. Further studies are needed, but scientists are very interested in how factors before birth can impact decades later.

"In utero, you have a lot of different things that can alter and impact your life — not only as a baby, but also at an adult stage," one of the authors of the study, Nicolas Mathevon, told the New York Times.

The New York Times also spoke with Carolyn Hodges, an assistant professor of anthropology at Boston University who was not involved in the study. According to Hodges, while voice pitch may not seem like a big deal, it impacts how we perceive people in very real ways.

Voice pitch is a factor in how attractive we think people are, how trustworthy. But why we find certain pitches more or less appealing isn't known. "There aren't many studies that address these questions, so that makes this research especially intriguing," Hodges said, adding that it "suggests that individual differences in voice pitch may have their origins very, very early in development."

So the pitch of that midnight cry may have been determined months ago, and it may determine part of your child's future, too. There are still so many things we don't know, but as parents we do know one thing: Our babies cries (as much as we don't want to hear them all the time) really are something special.

You might also like:

There are certain things that get less challenging with each child you have—like changing diapers or figuring out how to tie a Moby wrap—but breastfeeding just isn't one of them. Breastfeeding is different for every woman, and it can even be different for the same woman at different times in her life.

Mom of three Jessica Alba knows how true that is. She tells Motherly she's no longer nursing her 6-month-old son, Hayes, and while she's been through the end of breastfeeding with her older daughters, 10-year-old Honor and 6-year-old Haven, this experience was different and challenging in its own way.

"Emotionally, I know kind of what to expect. But every time, with all the hormones, it's so overwhelming. It doesn't get any easier," she says.

Alba and her husband Cash Warren welcomed little Hayes on December 31, 2017, and in the months that followed Alba shared several sweet breastfeeding photos on social media. In one, the Honest Company founder nursed during a board meeting, in another she breastfed Hayes in a Target fitting room. To her social media followers it seemed like she was always breastfeeding—and now we know that's because she was.

"I felt like he wanted to nurse 24/7, which was obviously really challenging when you're trying to go back to work," says Alba, who wasn't just busy with the Honest Company in the early weeks and months of Hayes' life, but also shooting her upcoming TV series with Gabrielle Union, 'LA's Finest.' The timing of the opportunity wasn't ideal, but the project was.

"I was actually bummed about it, I really did want to take four months but I got the pilot offer and it just happened to be shooting, so it cut into my maternity leave."

Alba was used to juggling the demands of working and nursing, having brought Honor to movie sets a decade ago and having welcomed Haven right when she was launching the Honest Company, but this time there was another hurdle, one many moms can relate to.

"Also my milk supply was challenged with him. I felt like I had the most milk with Honor and then it got less with Haven and even less with Hayes. And so that was just tough for me," she tells Motherly.

Although she had more milk supply back when she had her daughters, she's never been able to exclusively breastfeed for as long as she would have liked. She wrote about this challenge in her 2013 book, The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You.

"I breastfed as long as I could, but not as long as I wanted. I had to get back to work, and I wasn't able to keep it going. But I am proud to say I did the best for my daughters and I'm proud of all of my mom friends for doing the best they can on this issue."

Alba is hardly alone in having to stop breastfeeding earlier than she wanted. According to the Centers for Disease Control and prevention, "Although most infants receive some breastmilk, most are not exclusively breastfeeding or continuing to breastfeed as long as recommended."

More than 81% of American mothers start out breastfeeding, but less than half are exclusively breastfeeding by the time their baby is 3 months old and fewer than a quarter make it to the 6-month mark without formula.

Studies show that although it is incredibly common, supplementing with or switching to formula is a decision fraught with feelings of guilt, failure or "shattered expectations" for a lot of moms.

But you don't have to breastfeed for a full year or two for your child to benefit from the cuddles and the antibodies, and no mother should feel guilty about doing what is best for her child and herself.

Take it from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists: The organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding but also recognizes that a mother "is uniquely qualified to decide whether exclusive breastfeeding, mixed feeding or formula feeding is optimal for her and her infant."

A bit of advice Alba wrote in her book echos the ACOG's statement:

"Whatever you do, trust that you're doing the best that you can for your baby."

Still, weaning earlier than you wished to doesn't get easier even if you've experienced it before.

Years after writing that line in her book, Alba tells Motherly, "The only thing you kind of know the third time around is that it will pass."

Alba is an amazing mama, and she is obviously doing what's best for Hayes. And by being so honest about her breastfeeding struggles, she's also doing a great service to other mothers who are facing similar challenges.

Thanks for the honesty, Jessica.

You might also like:

I have a confession to make.

I once completely ruined a (rare) date night out over... popcorn. Seriously.

Who knew such a delicious, buttery treat could be such a catalyst for drama?

So, we were at the movies and after sitting down in our seats I asked my husband if he could go get me some popcorn. I mean, I didn't want to miss the beginning of the movie… He said something along the lines of, "Ugh, can you just go get it?" And I said something along the lines of, "You better sleep with one eye open tonight." 😜

I sulked off and got my popcorn. Then, I proceeded to watch the movie with a scowl and a bad attitude, similar to the combo my 2-year-old threw me a few days prior because I wouldn't give her my hot coffee (logical). This nonsense carried over into the car ride home. The evening that could have been a light, carefree night out with my partner turned into a bit of a dud.

But the thing is, it was never about the popcorn.

It was about my stress levels of being a work-from-home mom. It was about my exhaustion around having children who weren't sleeping well during the time.

It was about the mental load of motherhood that I carry around like a boulder in my brain. It was about feeling burnt out by all of life's responsibilities. It was about the fact that we hadn't been out on a date in over a month.

It was about the fact that our lives are consumed by preschool pickup and decisions about childcare and guilt over parenting fails and to-dos. It was about the pressure. Of parenting. Of adulting. Of date night.

Who has time to think of a new place to try for dinner? Who has the energy to shower, do their hair, put makeup on, and pick out a cute, flattering outfit on a Friday night after a long, long, long week? Who has the determination to make sure your date checks all the boxes—Is what we're doing exciting enough?

Are we going to the perfect restaurant? Does it matter that these Spanx are making me feel miserable? Should we do something spontaneous after dinner? Should I come up with some options for our spontaneous activity so we are prepared for spontaneity? 😂

The only question we should be asking ourselves is—what do we WANT to do on our date? The only goal we should have is to ditch the pressure and Just. Have. Fun.

The point of a date, especially as parents, is to connect. To have some alone time together. It's not to plan some magical, unicorn, non-existent "perfect" night out. This isn't The Bachelor. This isn't a planned-by-ABC one-on-one date involving a helicopter and bungee jumping. We both have already accepted the rose—we don't need perfection. What we need is to get out.

We're talking a meal at a restaurant and a rom-com. Sometimes we get wild and throw in an after-dinner drink somewhere. We go on dates to get away from poopy diapers and screaming toddlers. To go somewhere for a couple of hours so we can speak to each other at a normal decibel without pausing to answer questions like "WHERE DID YOU PUT MY WITCH HAT, MOOOOOM? I CAN'T FALL ASLEEP WITHOUT IT!" or "CAN YOU WIPE MEEEEE?!"

After more than a few dates like the popcorn-drama-night, we both have learned our lesson.

The recipe for a great date night is simple:

1. Leave your children home with someone you trust.

2. Exit the house and go somewhere together.

3. Wear clothes that are comfortable.

4. Have a good attitude.

5. Talk to each other.

(Bonus points if you can leave your kiddos home with a family member you don't have to pay!)

Recently, my husband and I went on a day date, to the beach, just the two of us. We left our girls home with their aunt (thanks, Liz!) and hightailed it outta there. We got iced coffees and sat on the sand under the warm sun.

We chatted and laughed and even just relaxed, laying there, closing our eyes—enjoying the peace and quiet. No one was eating sand. No one was complaining of the heat. No one had to go potty.

It was pretty amazing.

There was no bickering and no disappointment. It just worked.

I think we've found the secret to the elusive perfect parent date night: decrease your expectations and then you'll decrease the pressure. By doing that, you'll automatically decrease the chances of something or someone sabotaging your date, like an adult-sized tantrum caused by slick buttery popcorn.🍿

You might also like:

Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our  Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.