Brigitta Burgess is a writer and new mom. Read more from her on her blog!
Dear Friend Without Kids,
I still like you. I know we haven’t talked in a long time, but please know that I think you’re really great and wish we could spend more time together.
Like I said, I still like you. The only reason I haven’t called in three weeks is that my son is going through a horrible sleep phase and I am running on four hours a night most of the time.
I fell asleep upright while watching the finale of “Mad Men.” It’s getting serious.
I’m your number one fan. I just can’t meet up with you at a restaurant on an hour’s notice anymore because, here’s the thing: it takes me an hour to convince my daughter to put her shoes on.
I still really like you. I just don’t like going out as much as I used to.
You’re so great. It’s just that babysitters are expensive, so I don’t want to pay through the nose just so I can be your wingman at a bar on a weeknight. I mean, unless you paid for drinks.
Wait, never mind. I can’t even drink a lot because I’m breastfeeding.
I still like you so much. It just takes me more than 2 minutes to respond to your texts. Or anyone’s texts, for that matter.
Texts are more like e-mails to me now.
You are such a great friend. I just don’t think you care enough about how cute my son looks when he sneezes. I showed you that photo of his wrinkled nose like eight times and you hardly even smiled. What’s that about?
I like everything about you. I just can’t hang out past 6pm.
Like I said, I still like you. And I really want to stay friends, so if you could just please pretend to get excited about going to the zoo with us, that would be great.
Your Parent Friend.