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Debate Club: Is Disney World the Best or Worst of All Family Vacations?


A Disney vacation is the best possible vacation

by Kathryn Trudeau

The clock struck three as the airport van pulled into my parents’ driveway. I’ve always thought that pre-vacation excitement made the 3 a.m. departure totally doable. After all, who wants to sit around all day waiting for a late-in-the-day departure?

But this was my first early vacation with children. As my husband carried two suitcases, a camera bag, a diaper bag, and a toys-for-the-airplane bag into the van, I buckled in the kids – one three, the other three months old.

As I stared at my sweet sleeping infant, I worried about his GERD-induced screaming and how the impending airplane ride would unfold. Were we making a huge mistake? Were we about to be the most stressed out parents in the history of family vacations?

As fate would have it, my littlest boy slept the whole flight, thanks to a nursing session. Bags in tow and fueled by Starbucks, we made it to the inspiring Wilderness Lodge. Walking through the lobby and feeling the rush of cool air as we walked through the door, I felt the same giddy excitement in the pit of my stomach that I felt as a young girl. And now I got to share that excitement with my two boys.

All obsessions aside, Disney still ranks as one of the best family vacation destinations.

There’s something for everyone

As a self-proclaimed obsessed Disney fan, it was only natural that I voted for a Disney honeymoon. My then-fiancé, now-husband quickly said, “Uh no. Isn’t that for little kids?” I then delivered a monologue about how Disney World is anything but “just for little kids.”

We booked the honeymoon. I’m proud to say I converted my husband into a Disney superfan.

Taking our kids was a very different experience, but no less awesome. Disney World offers something for everyone. If you take your kids and still want some couple time, there are kid centers at each hotel that will watch your littles while you escape to a world-class spa or a romantic candlelit dinner with your honey.

Disney World can entertain a wide range of children. If traveling with young children and teens, you will find activities for everyone. Between the live shows, gardens, thrill rides, pools, and water parks, outdoor recreational activities, and interactive events, your kids are sure to find something to thrill them.

The meal plan

One of my favorite parts of traveling to Disney with my family is the meal plan. Eating out three times a day can get costly, but the meal plan allows you to budget ahead of time what your food will cost, which saves money in the long run.

Cleanliness is next to godliness

I may be a super Disney fan, but I’m no stranger to other amusement parks or vacation destinations. When I was 14, my family traveled to an amusement park in Southern California. From the grimy food service counters to the trash littering the paths, the lack of cleanliness drove us from the park before the day was half done.

That being said, cleanliness is something to consider when planning a family vacation. Who wants to make their family memories among the smells floating from hot steaming garbage cans? Not me.

Disney cast members work diligently to make sure the entire park is not only clean, but invisibly so. As a guest, you never have to witness their garbage removal process (thanks to underground tunnels for the purpose.)

Affordable family vacation

A common obstacle for any family vacation is the price tag. Between airfare and quality accommodations, a one-week trip can be costly. But if you compare oranges to oranges (Get it? Florida…oranges…), a Disney vacation lands in the “pretty affordable” column when compared to other similar destinations.

Follow these few tips, and you can snag a super deal, too:

Book a trip in the off season. Not only will you have better rates, but the parks will be less crowded.

Subscribe to the vacation planning email lists. Periodically, they send out mailers with special rates and promotions. If you’re not opposed to planning a trip within a few months of notification of a promotion, this is a good way to get a deal.

Customize your package. You can opt for park-hopper status (ability to go to multiple parks in one day) or not. If you’re looking to save a little money, you can opt out of the park-hopper.  Alternatively, choose the hotel pools over the water parks.

A final thought on price: Is it expensive? Yes. Good, activity-packed vacations usually are. Is it over-priced? No. The value of the whole experience is worth every penny.

Educational

My son stared out of the car of Spaceship Earth. He was mesmerized by the giant image of our planet. As we exited the ride, we entered a pavilion that showcases new and upcoming technology. My son was silent as we moved from demo to demo. He’s always been a techie-in-the-making, and here, he was able to live out his need to tinker with real-life gadgets.

Disney is all about moving forward, upward, and bettering ourselves in the process – what a great mentality to show our kids.

The magic

The last reason why I love Disney: the magic. One of my most favorite memories from the trip was when my three-year-old met Mickey. My son, forever toting small toy cars in his pockets, whipped one out and wanted to play cars with Mickey. Ever the good sport, Mickey got on his knees and played cars with my boy. Nothing makes a mama heart sing as much as seeing pure joy on her baby’s face, and Disney did not disappoint in this department.

Still not convinced? That’s okay. Disney has a team of veteran moms who help answer vacation questions, from what to pack to where to stay. They can answer anything you throw at them. Maybe they’ll convince you it’s worth a try.

No matter what expectations you bring to a Disney vacation, you’ll walk away with happy family memories. And that’s a win in my book.

Don’t go to Disney World

By Cheryl Maguire

We made it. After a three-hour flight and two bus transfers, we were standing in front of the iconic Disney World Cinderella Castle. During my year of researching and planning, I wondered if this moment would ever happen.

We waded through the crowd and snapped a quick picture. Since I was uncertain of when we would actually arrive here, the only unplanned hours lay ahead of us.

“What should we do first? Magic Mountain? Meet a princess? It’s a Small world?” I asked.

“Swim in the pool,” my eight-year-old twins and five-year-old daughter responded.

“I didn’t spend an obscene amount of money on a Disney World vacation to swim in a pool. Which attraction will it be?”

We chose to split up. The twins and I went to meet Ariel, while my husband and daughter headed in a different direction. The problem was I couldn’t remember which direction, and I realized he took my cell phone with the back pack. Hours and hours of planning, yet I never created a plan if someone were to get lost.

“Who remembers what shirt Dad was wearing?” I asked.

A stranger passing by overheard my question and, with a laugh, said, “Oh, that can’t be good.”

Even though my husband is an adult (at least most of the time), I felt as if I’d lost a child. I panicked. How was I going to find him in this sea of neverending people? We started walking. I examined the faces of each person we passed by, hoping to find him.

One of my children remembered they were headed to the Big Thunder Mountain roller coaster, and somehow we managed to locate them. He, of course, had no idea he was missing (or that he took my cell phone). He’d been waiting in line the whole time.

“How was the Big Thunder Mountain ride? Was it worth waiting an hour?”

“Definitely not. It was really bumpy. I felt like I was going to vomit,” my husband responded.

“I agree with Dad.”

“I’m glad we spent thousands of dollars to wait in line and feel nauseous.”

They all wanted to go on the next ride, so I found a bench, absorbing the interesting surroundings. I couldn’t help but notice a man and woman, their arms flailing as they shouted obscenities at each other loud enough for everyone to hear, including children. So much for this being the “happiest place in the world.” I also witnessed many children in full blown meltdowns.

When my kids got off the ride, they asked, “Can we go to the pool now?”

Sweat dripped from every pore in my body and, from the looks of it, my family was experiencing the same. I relented and off to the pool we went.

For the rest of the vacation, we didn’t experience any major problems. But the heat, long lines, and crowds continued to wear on us. At the end of the vacation, I asked my kids, “What was your favorite part of the trip? Meeting Elsa? Toy Story Mania? The Aerosmith rollercoaster?”

In unison they responded, “The pool.”

If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I ignored several red flags. My kids seemed more excited about flying on a plane than going to Disney World. My kids had never been enthusiastic about their experiences at the local amusement parks we visited. I think I overlooked these things because I felt pressure from society to give my children a magical Disney World experience.

The average cost for a family of four to vacation at Disney World for four nights costs between three- and four-thousand dollars. Before you make this huge investment, you might consider the following questions to determine if you really want to go there:

  • Why do you want to go to Disney World?
  • Do your kids want to go to Disney World?
  • What do you want to accomplish during the vacation?
  • Have you tried to visit a local amusement park? If so, did your kids like it?
  • Can your kids (and can you) handle large crowds and long lines?
  • When you think of a vacation, do you prefer relaxing or being busy?
  • Do your children like Disney movies and characters?
  • Is going to Disney World worth spending between $3k and $4k (or probably more)?
  • Have you considered traveling to other places in the U.S. or the rest of the world?
  • If you went to Disney World as a child, did you like it?

The bottom line: You don’t have to go to Disney World. Figure out what type of vacation best suits your family. There are millions of cities to visit, and lots of those places have pools.

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If there's anything better than dressing your kids up in adorable holiday outfits, it's gotta be matching them.

We rounded up seven of our favorite looks for this season. 🎁

1. Classic Christmas for kids

Go crisp, clean, classic and Christmassy with a Short Sleeve Smocked Holiday Dress from Feltman Brothers.

Short Sleeve Smocked Holiday Dress, Feltman Brothers, $67.95

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Classic Christmas made modern for mama

Match your cotton cutie in a crisp and modern shirtdress that can last you far beyond Christmas.

Kowtow Monologue Shirt Dress, Garmentory, $93.00

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2. Nordic-themed sweater set

Get cozy + complimentary with black and red family sweaters that you can wear all winter long.

Oh Sno Happy Christmas Collection, Hanna Andersson, $68 - $92

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3. Matchy matchy mommy

A super-affordable option for the matchy matchy mama.

Emmababy Mommy and Me Matching Plaid Long Sleeve Shirt Dress + Princess Tulle Tutu Dress, $14.99

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4. Mommy + me tutus

Tutus make everything, including the holidays, a bit more magical. Grab a matching set to enjoy a twirl with your girl.

Mommy and Me Tulle Tutus, Etsy, $110.00

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5. The perfect plaid dress

Quick! This one is perfect, grab it fast.

Ruffle Trim Babydoll Dress for Toddler Girls, Old Navy, $20.00

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Mama's plaid

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Relaxed Plaid Twill Classic Shirt, $24.00, Old Navy

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6. Best sweater set yet

Moms and sons can play match-up, too. Grab a sweater set you can return to the entire season.

Festivewear Sweater Sets, Boden, $55.00-$130.00

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7. Big blue

Light up the night with Santa's sleigh and a sleek little number for mama.

Festive Big Applique Dress, Boden, $48.00

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Blue for you, too

The perfect LBD (little blue dress).

Flippy Pencil Dress, Boden, $170.00

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Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Ask a group of 10 mamas to define or describe mom guilt and you will likely get 10 different responses. We all associate feelings of guilt with different parenting situations that are as unique as we are. It ranges from feeling guilty about snapping at your children when you're run down, feeding them sugary snacks or leaving for an overnight work trip.

We feel guilt for big and small things, for things we did and didn't do and everything in between.

As a coach helping new moms adjust to motherhood, it's a big topic and one that repeatedly comes up. While it's not always labeled as mom guilt, those feelings of overwhelm, balancing what we're focusing our time on, or feeling bad that we haven't had a date night or a girls' night out in months, it usually circles back to guilt.

Guilt, when not addressed, can be quite a consuming feeling. It can become a bad habit, one that grows over time until soon you second-guess everything that you do for fear of feeling guilty afterward.

While I could certainly share my own experiences with guilt, I know they may not encompass the wide spectrum of mom guilt. So I asked some of my friends, colleagues and fellow moms to help me share stories of mom guilt, and I was surprised at some of the answers.

Here's what they had to say:

When do you experience mom guilt?

1. When I'm trying to blend work and life

"I have a job that has a lot of flexibility so I am around a lot more than other full-time jobs but a lot of the time I never feel like I am fully present. I am always taking phone calls and worrying about clients. It's hard to push that out of mind and focus fully on the kids."

2. When I lose my temper

"I lose my temper with my daughter all the time, and it's usually because I'm tired. When I don't parent with grace and instead react out of anger or frustration, I feel terrible, especially because it probably could have been prevented if I had gone to bed earlier the night before."

3. When I have to travel for work

"Two weeks ago I was out of town for a work conference and found out our 1-year-old had fallen down the stairs the night before and was taken to the hospital via ambulance. He was completely fine (just had an ear infection), but I felt guilty that I wasn't there.

"I kept thinking if I had been there I would have been an extra pair of hands and my husband wouldn't have been so stressed trying to get everyone ready for bed. I felt guilty that my husband had to go through that terrifying experience alone. I felt guilty that I couldn't be there for several more days to hold my baby and have physical proof he was okay."

4. When I had a hard time with breastfeeding

"I was unable to exclusively breastfeed my babies past four months. My milk supply couldn't keep up, and truthfully, I wasn't willing to be attached to my pump and eat all kinds of supplements to try to increase my milk. So we just started using formula. With my first born, I cried over this many times. I was disappointed and felt guilty that I wasn't giving her breast milk. But eventually I came to appreciate the conveniences of formula, and my guilt subsided.

"I was surprised when my son was born and we made the switch to formula again that [the guilt] crept back up. I remember bottle-feeding my newborn and feeling like I had to tell everyone in the room that the bottle was breast milk. Why is that?! Why do we need to slip it into the conversation that we're giving our kid breast milk or justify why we're not? When I stopped producing enough, that was disappointing but to be honest, I didn't love breastfeeding and felt a little relieved that it was over, and that made me feel guilty too. Why didn't I love something I was literally designed to do? Did I give up too easily? And would I have loved it if I had had a normal supply? I wrestled with these questions a lot."

5. When I feel like I'm working too much

"Luckily, I do not have to do morning drop off (that's my husband's realm). Avoiding the daycare drop off has been huge in terms of avoiding mom guilt on a regular basis. I typically do not feel guilty while I'm at work because I get a fair amount of fulfillment from my work, which I think makes me a better mom at the end of the day.

"However, I feel very guilty when my work bleeds into what should be time with my family (evenings and weekends). This happened a lot last school year (new school districts and new preps = 55-60 hour work weeks). I felt very guilty having to tell my son I couldn't play or couldn't go to the zoo with him and his dad on a Sunday because I had to work."

How do you move past the guilt?

It happens to the best of us, and it happens pretty frequently. Feeling guilty over certain circumstances, behavior and decisions is a part of parenting. So how do you move past those feelings of mom guilt? What can you think or do instead?

These were some of my favorite tips:

1. Be grateful

"Instead of feeling bad about yourself for something you can't control, try to be grateful. For example, write out gratitude l that you can afford formula and that formula even exists."

2. Talk about it, normalize it

"Talk about your experience when it comes up in conversation to normalize it—for yourself and for any other moms who might be listening. If someone says something offensive or insensitive, give them the benefit of the doubt."

3. Keep busy

"Keeping busy at work or during work travel is the best way to distract yourself and keep your mind off of feeling guilty."

4. Forgive yourself

"Accidents will happen whether you are there all the time or not, no matter how careful you are. The same thing could have happened even if you hadn't been away and both parents had been looking out for the kids' safety. It's okay to let yourself off the hook.

"If you lose your patience with your little one and resort to harsh words or actions, make a point to apologize and ask for forgiveness as soon as possible. Talk about why you both got upset, and after you hug it out, your guilt will probably have melted away."

5. Set boundaries

"Try setting stronger work boundaries so you can be more present at home. Especially if you don't work a traditional 9-5 job, that flexibility can lead to never being fully present. Find the boundaries that work for you so you can focus on family or work and not both all of the time."

6. Ask yourself some questions

If you feel overcome with mom guilt, try asking yourself:

  • Is your child thriving and happy? (yes)
  • Do theyknow they have a mom who loves them? (yes)
  • Are they learning new lessons/skills at daycare that you maybe wouldn't have even thought to teach them? (yes)

Then, what a lucky kid!

Remember you are not alone

If I can teach you one thing about guilt, it's that whether you feel guilty or not, is completely up to you. You may say, "she made me feel so guilty when she said…" or "hearing her talk about the privilege she has in staying home with her kids made me feel so guilty."

But it's not true. She didn't make you feel guilty. You thought that what she does or how she mothers was better, and that thought created the guilty feeling. Or you felt like you are doing a disservice to your family.

Knowing that, being aware of that, is so powerful.

I hope that by reading these honest stories from other moms who are doing the best that they can, you realize that we all feel it. We all experience mom guilt.

Share your stories, talk about it, normalize it, or challenge yourself with some of those amazing questions about whether your kid is happy, healthy and knows he is loved.

I bet you can talk yourself down off that ledge or pick yourself up out of those feelings of guilt. We all get through them and we get better and stronger every time that we do. Don't avoid the situations that "make you feel guilty". Walk head-on into them knowing you're not alone and knowing you have the tools to get past it.

Many thanks to these amazing women who were willing to share their stories:

  • Brooke Lehenbauer - Stay-at-home mom & part-time family photographer, Mom to a girl and a boy (3 yo and 7 months)
  • Jackie - Sales/Account Management, Mom to 3 kiddos (5, 3 and 1)
  • Lauren Karas - High school teacher, Mom to 3 yo boy and one on the way!
  • MC - Realtor, Mom to 2 boys (4 1/2 and 2 yo)

Originally posted on The Mother Nurture.

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As parents we do the best we can to keep our kids safe while also letting them experience the world, and sometimes this involves assessing risks and deciding what is appropriate for our individual families.

Every parent makes different choices based on their family's values and needs, and there's no reason for mom shaming—or in this case dad shaming—as Pink recently reminded the world via Instagram.

Pink's defense began when her husband, motocross pro Carey Hart, posted a pic of himself on a motorbike with son Jameson, who is nearly two. Internet commenters criticized Hart's decision and his parenting, suggesting that he was putting Jameson in danger by having him on the bike.

In the photo, Hart and Jameson are sitting on the bike while it is still, but some Instagram users were still very critical of Hart's decision to have Jameson up on the bike with him. Some suggested he was endangering his son, and others stated he was wearing the wrong kind of helmet.

After the controversy, Pink posted a photo of Jameson eating chocolate on her own Instagram, joking, "Chocolate is good for babies, right? Help me Instagram, we can't possibly parent without you."

The joke set some commenters off, reigniting the online debate about Hart's parenting skills. "With your husband being in the spotlight so often with his complete lack of regard for proper care or concern at times with your kids, this comment isn't funny, albeit Jameson is adorable, one Instagram user wrote. "Your husband, I'm sorry, lacks the responsibility your kids need in his care."

Pink replied to the commenter, asking (fairly) how this person could feel like they could judge Hart as a father when they'd only seen him parenting through social media posts. "How often have you spent time with my husband?" Pink asked the commenter. "How often have you watched him parent?"

Through that comment, Pink reminded the world that what we see on social media is just one slice of our very complex and busy lives. It's impossible to really know the thought and care each individual puts into the choices they make for their children.

We make choices for our kids every day and they're going to be different from the choices of the parent next door or the next person in our Instagram feed. Our parenting choices are informed by our individual experiences, our beliefs, and everything else that makes us ourselves, everything that makes us unique.

No parent is perfect, but as parents we are perfectly positioned to choose what is appropriate for our individual children.

And we can also make the choice to respect those who parent differently than we do. No shaming necessary.

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The color experts at Pantone recently named the pinky-orange hue Living Coral as the color of the year for 2019, but the Editors of Nameberry have some other shades in mind for 2019. Like Pantone, though, they're predicting nature-inspired colors won't just be big at the paint store, but at the playground as well.

Yes, natural colors and jewels-inspired hues (along with animal names) are predicted to be big trends for baby names in the coming year.

Nameberry's editors have been tracking the 2018 trends to predict which names parents will be picking in 2019, and the palette is more muted than Pantone's for sure. According to Nameberry's editors, parents are shifting away from the intense hues (like Scarlett, Ruby and Poppy) toward more chill tones.

These are Nameberry's picks for color-inspired names for 2019:

  1. Ash
  2. Fawn
  3. Grey/Gray
  4. Ivory
  5. Lavender
  6. Lilac
  7. Mauve
  8. Moss
  9. Olive
  10. Sage

You don't have to look to the crayon box for baby name inspo to be on trend for next year—you could also look in your jewelry box. According to Nameberry, jewel and gem-inspired names are surging for both boys and girls and some can even be gender neutral.

Namberry is betting some precious babies will be getting these precious names next year:

  1. Amethyst
  2. Emerald
  3. Garnet
  4. Jasper
  5. Jet
  6. Onyx
  7. Opal
  8. Peridot
  9. Sapphire
  10. Topaz

It's not just colors and gems from nature that are trending, but animal-inspired names, too. On-trend parents might look to the forest for more name inspiration in 2019.

According to Nameberry, these animal-based names are set to trend in 2019:

  1. Bear
  2. Falcon
  3. Fox
  4. Hawk
  5. Koala
  6. Lion
  7. Lynx
  8. Otter
  9. Tiger
  10. Wolf

Some of the names Nameberry has predicted here (like Jasper, which was within the official top 200 baby names of 2017, according to the Social Security Administration,) are already fairly popular, while others (like Koala and Bear) are so statistically unpopular right now they aren't even charting on the SSA's baby name list.

Time will tell which of these nature-inspired names can take on Liam and Emma in the near future and whether Coral can go from being Pantone's 2019 pick to parents' pick in 2020.

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