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I’m not really worried about teaching my kid to eat healthy foods. I feel pretty confident about teaching my son how to read. One thing does worry me a lot lately, though, and that’s teaching my son about music.

I have a pretty strong background in music. I play several instruments, grew up in a very musical family, and worked as a music teacher for several years. I know how to teach kids how to read music and play music and make music sound good. But I don’t know a lot about sharing music with my son. I am still learning.

Music is so important to me. I was the mom who put headphones on her pregnant belly and played playlists I made specifically for baby.

I take my son to my brass group’s rehearsals every week and hope that maybe he is enjoying them when actually most of the time he just crawls around or falls asleep because he is a baby.

I play shitty covers of folk songs to him on my guitar, and my husband sings him to sleep every night because we hope he will associate music with joy, peace, and calm.

What I’m getting at here is that I worry about teaching my son to enjoy music. Am I alone in this?

It scares me to think I’m the one in charge of showing him what good music sounds like; the one in charge of introducing him to the greats; the one in charge of what music he will know for the first few years of his life at least.

It’s daunting to me for two reasons.

First, I worry about the way I listen to my music.

I, like most people probably, listen to different kinds of music in phases. I have my archive of musicians who I love and who have been the foundation for my overall taste in music, but most of what I listen to on a daily basis depends upon the phase I am currently in.

For instance, during the past few months, I listened to a lot of more relaxing ambient music including some of those foundational favorites for me like Sufjan Stevens, Simon and Garfunkel, Bon Iver, and Fleet Foxes. I also integrated some bands I only recently got into, like Washed Out and Toro y Moi.

During the past few weeks I have been majorly into some recent more popular tracks as well, like Beyonce’s “Formation,” Rihanna’s “Work,” and anything Fetty Wap touches. The music I listen to in the car or around the house changes a lot from day-to-day and phase-to-phase.

But the thing about babies is that, as many baby books will tell you, they thrive on consistency. They benefit from things that are familiar, i.e. having the same books read to them from day-to-day, being around the same people often, etc.

So, while I need to be constantly listening to new and different music for my own sanity, my son would probably benefit from hearing the same songs regularly. It worries me that I don’t give him the consistency that he needs with music for it to make an impression on him.

Second, I worry about the way I introduce music to him.

When I get in my head that I want to play a certain musician’s work for him, I grow excited and tend to overdo it. I tell him that I really like a band and that I think he will like it for x, y, or z reason. But he is only fourteen months old, so obviously sometimes he really couldn’t give less of a crap about what I’m saying. Like, okay, the other day he was playing with this zebra toy. So I told him I wanted to play him a song about a zebra by a band called Beach House. By the time I had pulled up their page on Spotify my son had already chucked the zebra toy and moved onto stacking blocks and subsequently knocking that stack over. That’s because babies like to play.

Sometimes I worry that my introductions might even just be wrong factually. Like that time, I said that the Decemberists had originally written “Bridges and Balloons” when really it was JOANNA NEWSOM OF COURSE. But okay, these things don’t really matter to babies. I get that, but I still think about it a lot.

And because of the way I feel about certain music at the moment I feel like my introductions to musicians might not be as real now as they would have been at a different time in my life. Like if I had shown my son Holst’s “The Planets” during my senior year of high school (that is, of course, if I had had a son at that time) then I would have presented it with the sheer passion and obsession that comes from having just discovered a piece like Holst’s “The Planets.” Now I’ve heard the suite thousands of times and some of that spark would certainly be gone when I told him about it.

There’s a ton of music, too, that I’m sure we can all agree is quality, significant music, but that we are just plain sick of. Like, you know when people turn on “Stairway to Heaven” at a party and you’re just like UGH TURN THIS OFF but you know in your heart of hearts that everyone needs to hear “Stairway to Heaven” at some point?

I listened to Bob Seeger’s “Turn the Page” upwards of 7 million times in the year 2012 (I don’t know why, it’s just such an effing good song), so I can’t listen to it as often now. Sure, I can play it once or twice, but can I sit there in my car with the windows down blaring that bad boy at stoplights acting all badass like people who listen to Bob Seeger are badass? No, I really can’t anymore. It moves me, but I just need maybe four years or so away from it to rekindle that flame.

So I feel weird about playing a lot of music for my son right now because I just feel like I won’t be able to portray authentically to him just how much it meant to me when I truly couldn’t get enough of it.

“More Than A Feeling” came on the other day when we were in the car running late for a doctor’s appointment. I was nervous. It caught me off guard and I just wasn’t ready to experience my son’s first time listening to “More Than A Feeling” with him like that, late for our appointment, with me dropping goldfish all over the place trying to pass them to him in the backseat. It didn’t feel right.

Am I crazy?

I think these sorts of things but I do know that they are ridiculous thoughts. Obviously, there will be plenty of opportunities for my son and I to talk about music in the future. Songs will mean things to him in their own way, and they don’t require the proper presentation or introduction to make an impression.

He will like the songs he likes, and that will probably have little to do with what I like. Heck, he might even hate everything I like. But I still feel a little bit of pressure passing on the thing that I feel brings us all together – defines so much of our culture and who we are as people – to the most important person in my life.



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We spend a lot of time prepping for the arrival of a baby. But when it comes to the arrival of our breast milk (and all the massive adjustments that come with it), it's easy to be caught off guard. Stocking up on a few breastfeeding essentials can make the transition to breastfeeding a lot less stressful, which means more time and energy focusing on what's most important: Your recovery and your brand new baby.

Here are the essential breastfeeding tools you'll need, mama:

1. For covering up: A cute nursing cover

First and foremost, please know that all 50 states in the United States have laws that allow women to breastfeed in public. You do not have to cover yourself if you don't want to—and many mamas choose not to—and we are all for it.

That said, if you do anticipate wanting to take a more modest approach to breastfeeding, a nursing cover is a must. You will find an array of styles to choose from, but we love an infinity scarf, like the LK Baby Infinity Nursing Scarf Nursing Cover. You'll be able to wear the nursing cover instead of stuffing it in your already brimming diaper bag—and it's nice to have it right there when the baby is ready to eat.

Also, in the inevitable event that your baby spits-up on you or you leak some milk through your shirt, having a quick and stylish way to cover up is a total #momwin.

2. For getting comfortable: A cozy glider

Having a comfy spot to nurse can make a huge difference. Bonus points if that comfy place totally brings a room together, like the Delta Children Paris Upholstered Glider!

Get your cozy space ready to go, and when your baby is here, you can retreat from the world and just nurse, bond, and love.

3. For unmatched support: A wire-free nursing bra

It may take trying on several brands to find the perfect match, but finding a nursing bra that you love is 100% worth the effort. Your breasts will be changing and working in ways that are hard to imagine. An excellent supportive bra will make this so much more comfortable.

It is crucial to choose a wireless bra for the first weeks of nursing since underwire can increase the risk of clogged ducts (ouch).The Playtex Maternity Shaping Foam Wirefree Nursing Bra is an awesome pick for this reason, and because it is designed to flex and fit your breasts as they go through all those changes.

4. For maximum hydration: A large reusable water bottle

Nothing can prepare you for the intense thirst that hits when breastfeeding. Quench that thirst (and help keep your milk supply up in the process) by always having a water bottle with a straw nearby, like this Exquis Large Outdoor Water Bottle.

5. For feeding convenience: A supportive nursing tank

Experts recommend that during the first weeks of your baby's life, you breastfeed on-demand, meaning that any time your tiny boss demands milk, you feed them. This will help establish your milk supply and get everything off to a good start.

What does this mean for your life? You will be breastfeeding A LOT. Nursing tanks, like the Loving Moments by Leading Lady, make this so much easier. They have built-in support to keep you comfy, and you can totally wear them around the house, or even out and about. When your baby wants to eat, you'll be able to quickly "pop out" a breast and feed them.

6. For pain prevention: A quality nipple ointment

Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt, but the truth is those first days can be uncomfortable. Your nipples will likely feel raw as they adjust to their new job. This will get better! But until it does, nipple ointment is amazing.

My favorite is the Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter. We love that it's organic, and it is oh-so-soothing on your hard-at-work nipples.

Psst: If it actually hurts when your baby latches on, something may be up, so call your provider or a lactation consultant for help.

7. For uncomfortable moments: A dual breast therapy pack

As your breasts adjust to their new role, you may experience a few discomforts—applying warmth or cold can help make them feel so much better. The Lansinoh TheraPearl 3-in-1 Breast Therapy Pack is awesome because you can microwave the pads or put them in the freezer, giving you a lot of options when your breasts need some TLC.

Again, if you have any concerns about something being wrong (pain, a bump that may be red or hot, fever, or anything else), call a professional right away.

8. For inevitable leaks: An absorbing breast pad

In today's episode of, "Oh come on, really?" you are going to leak breastmilk. Now, this is entirely natural and you are certainly not required to do anything about this. Still, many moms choose to wear breast pads in their bras to avoid leaking through to their shirts.

You can go the convenient and disposable route with Lansinoh Disposable Stay Dry Nursing Pads, or for a more environmentally friendly option, you can choose washable pads, like these Organic Bamboo Nursing Breast Pads.

9. For flexibility: A breast pump

Many women find that a breast pump becomes one of their most essential mom-tools. The ability to provide breast milk when you are away from your baby (and relieve uncomfortable engorged breasts) will add so much flexibility into your new-mom life.

For quick trips out and super-easy in-your-bag transport, opt for a manual pump like the Lansinoh Manual Breast Pump .

If you will be away from your baby for longer periods of time (traveling or working outside the home, for example) an electric pump is your most efficient bet. The Medela Pump In Style Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump is a classic go-to that will absolutely get the job done, and then some.

10. For quality storage: Breast milk bags

Once you pump your liquid gold, aka breast milk, you'll need a place to store it. The Kiinde Twist Pouches allow you to pump directly into the bags which means one less step (and way less to clean).

11. For keeping cool: A freezer bag

Transport your pumped milk back home to your baby safely in a cooler like the Mommy Knows Best Breast Milk Baby Bottle Cooler Bag. Remember to put the milk in a fridge or freezer as soon as you can to optimize how long it stays usable for.

12. For continued nourishment: Bottles

Nothing beats the peace of mind you get when you know that your baby is being well-taken of care—and well fed—until you can be together again. The Philips Avent Natural Baby Bottle Newborn Starter Gift Set is a fan favorite (mama and baby fans alike).

This article is sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.


A viral video about car seat safety has parents everywhere cracking up and humming Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

"I like safe kids and I cannot lie," raps Norman Regional Health System pediatric hospitalist Dr. Kate Cook (after prefacing her music video with an apology to her children."I'm a doctor tryin' warn you that recs have changed," she continues.

Dr. Cook's rap video is all about the importance of keeping babies facing backward. It's aptly called "Babies Face Back," and uses humor and parody to drive home car seat recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

"Switching from rear-facing to forward-facing is a milestone many parents can't wait to reach," Dr. Cook said in a news release about her hilarious video. "But this is one area where you want to delay the transition as long as possible because each one actually reduces the protection to the child."

Last summer the AAP updated its official stance on car seat safety to be more in line with what so many parents were already doing and recommended that kids stay rear-facing for as long as possible. But with so many things to keep track of in life, it is understandable that some parents still don't know about the change. Dr. Cook wants to change that with some cringe-worthy rapping.

The AAP recommends:

  • Babies and toddlers should ride in a rear-facing car safety seat as long as possible, until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their seat.
  • Once they are facing forward, children should use a forward-facing car safety seat with a harness for as long as possible. Many seats are good up to 65 pounds.
  • When children outgrow their car seat they should use a belt-positioning booster seat until the vehicle's lap and shoulder seat belt fits properly, between 8 and 12 years old.

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[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

Suicide rates for girls and women in the United States have increased 50% since 2000, according to the CDC and new research indicates a growing number of pregnant and postpartum women are dying by suicide and overdose. Suicide rates for boys and men are up, too.

It's clear there is a mental health crisis in America and it is robbing children of their mothers and mothers of their children.

Medical professionals urge people to get help early, but sometimes getting help is not so simple. For many Americans, the life preserver that is mental health care is out of reach when they are drowning.

Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg just released a plan he hopes could change that and says the neglect of mental health in the United States must end. "Our plan breaks down the barriers around mental health and builds up a sense of belonging that will help millions of suffering Americans heal," says Buttigieg.

He thinks he can "prevent 1 million deaths of despair by 2028" by giving Americans more access to mental health and addictions services.

In a country where giving birth can put a mother in debt, it's not surprising that while as many as 1 in 5 new moms suffers from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, more than half of new moms who need mental health treatment don't get it. Stigma, childcare and of course costs are factors in why women aren't seeking help when they are struggling.

Buttigieg's plan is interesting because it could remove some of these barriers. He wants to make mental health care more affordable by ensuring everyone has comprehensive coverage for mental health care and by ensuring that everyone can access a free yearly mental health check-up.

That could make getting help more affordable for some moms, and by increasing reimbursement rates for mental health care delivered through telehealth, this plan could help moms get face time with a medical professional without having to deal with finding childcare first.

Estimates from new research suggest that in some parts of America as many as 14% or 30% of maternal deaths are caused by addiction or suicide. Buttigieg's plan aims to reduce those estimates by fighting the addiction and opioid crisis and increasing access to mental health services in underserved communities and for people of color. He also wants to reduce the stigma and increase support for the next generation by requiring "every school across the country to teach Mental Health First Aid courses."

These are lofty goals with a lofty price tag. It would cost about $300 billion to do what Buttigieg sets out in his plan and the specifics of how the plan would be funded aren't yet known. Neither is how voters will react to this 18-page plan and whether it will help Buttigieg stand out in a crowded field of Democratic candidates.

What we do know is that right now, America is talking about mental health and whether or not that benefits Buttigieg's campaign it will certainly benefit America.

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[Editor's Note: Welcome to It's Science, a Motherly column focusing on evidence-based explanations for the important moments, milestones, and phenomena of motherhood. Because it's not just you—#itsscience.]

If you breastfeed, you know just how magical (and trying) it is, but it has numerous benefits for mama and baby. It is known to reduce the likelihood of developing cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis, and cuts the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by half.

If this wasn't powerful enough, scientists have discovered that babies who are fed breast milk have a stomach pH that promotes the formation of HAMLET (Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumor cells). HAMLET was discovered by chance when researchers were studying the antibacterial properties of breast milk. This is a combination of proteins and lipids found in breast milk that can work together to kill cancer cells, causing them to pull away from healthy cells, shrink and die, leaving the healthy cells unaffected.

According to researchers at Lund University in Sweden, this mechanism may contribute to the protective effect breast milk has against pediatric tumors and leukemia, which accounts for about 30% of all childhood cancer. Other researchers analyzed 18 different studies, finding that "14% to 19% of all childhood leukemia cases may be prevented by breastfeeding for six months or more."

And recently, doctors in Sweden collaborated with scientists in Prague to find yet another amazing benefit to breast milk. Their research demonstrated that a certain milk sugar called Alpha1H, found only in breast milk, helps in the production of lactose and can transform into a different form that helps break up tumors into microscopic fragments in the body.

Patients who were given a drug based on this milk sugar, rather than a placebo, passed whole tumor fragments in their urine. And there is more laboratory evidence to support that the drug can kill more than 40 different types of cancer cells in animal trials, including brain tumors and colon cancer. These results are inspiring scientists to continue to explore HAMLET as a novel approach to tumor therapy and make Alpha1H available to cancer patients.

Bottom line: If you choose to breastfeed, the breast milk your baby gets from your hard work can be worth every drop of effort.

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