For #MotherlyStories | Last week I went to the store to grab new pj’s for my daughter because she had grown out of her other ones.
I decided to leave her home with her daddy so that the trip could be a little quicker, plus then it gave me some much needed quiet time.
But as I was driving to the store, I realized something. Though I may have left her for an hour and taken a little break, I really didn’t leave. I left a verbal list of instructions on what to do, what she may need, everything to care for her while I was gone.Then I called my husband Marcus five minutes after to see how she was doing. Finally I arrived at Old Navy, only to see lots of people and lots of cute babies, I instantly missed mine and wished I had brought her. I texted Marcus and checked in again, was she okay? Was she crying? Do I need to come home? Here’s how to help her if she gets sleepy, things he’s completely capable of figuring out himself, but the mother in me can’t stop.
Then I started to feel bad.
Bad that I left her home, bad that I was making him watch her and she was fussy, bad that I wasn’t there to comfort her and hoping she wouldn’t do anything new—I DON’T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING. Finally, I grabbed the pj’s, (complaining the whole time because the line was long and I was in a hurry), checked out and rushed home.
Great break right?
So mamas, I’m here, here to tell you that you’re not alone.
I’m not alone.
I know we all do this, new moms, experienced moms, the struggle is real.
We don’t have an off switch.
We’re tired, exhausted at that. We worry all the time. Oh a TV show just showed a baby die? Holy cow, let me cry my eyes out and then make sure mine is okay, then worry that something bad is going to happen to them for the next 24 hours.
You didn’t realize that motherhood was literally going to be a 24/7 job? I mean, we heard everyone tell us that, but now that it’s real, it’s real.
So let me just tell you again, you’re not alone. I know you feel alone, heck I feel alone literally nine times out of ten, but you’re not. You have a whole support system around you. And every time we tell a mother that she’s not alone, and that’s she’s doing a great job, we build that network up around each one of us.
Were you up all night watching, checking, feeding and rocking a fussy baby? Cleaning the house the entire next day? Trying to work while you also take on the title of full time mom? You’re an amazing mom.
Motherhood is full of give, give and more give. We work, we cook, clean, everything, all while literally caring for human live(s).
And the thing about motherhood is that most of this effort goes unnoticed, but it should be noticed. It should be celebrated, you should be celebrated because you’re a freaking boss. You’re killing it and you’re doing awesome even if your hair isn’t brushed, your house is a mess and you’re running on an hour of sleep, you’re the best mom in the world.
So quit being hard on yourself. We do-it-all moms tackle finances, health, appointments, house duties, babies, work and the list goes on. That’s something to be proud of, even on the days when you don’t feel so proud. Even on the days you feel exhausted. (And let’s be honest it’s more exhausting days than not.)
So let’s celebrate; celebrate that we can do hard things because we all know motherhood is not all fun and games. It’s hard and we get pushed to the limit, but it’s rewarding and it’s worth it.
It’s worth it on the days when all your babe wants to do is cuddle or say they love you, those things make every part of motherhood worth it.
We can do hard things mama, we do them everyday.
Next time you’re feeling alone or overwhelmed, remember that.
You CAN do hard things. You will.
When you’re looking at the clock, counting down the minutes for whatever reason or wishing the day would go by fast, take a step back.
Remind yourself that you’re not alone, that this time is precious and one day it’s not going to be here. As hard as it may be, enjoy the hectic, the crazy and the messy. Take it all in. Cry if you need to, cry with your babies, walk away for two minutes when things are really tough, call your mom, call your husband. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t be afraid to say, honey I need help and you need to step up, they’re your partner, they are there to make things easier on you. You’re not alone, you don’t have to do things on your own and you’re tougher than you realize.
So here’s to motherhood, the toughest, messiest, never-ending, best job out there.
Let’s celebrate it, let’s remember we can do hard things and let’s treat ourselves.
And next time you have to run an errand, run that errand, leave the babe at home with dad and try your hardest to focus on you. Remember that if something were really wrong they would call you, but they can handle fussiness and an hour without you, heck you do it—all day, all the time.
So take some you time, buy yourself a treat, turn your favorite tunes on and celebrate being a Mom, because we deserve to be celebrated every single day.
Jess is a mother and blogger who writes at Positively Oakes.