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My Plans For Having Kids (Before I Actually Had Them)

I remember back before I had kids, when I first found out my wife was pregnant, I had plans for what type of parent I was going to be. I remembered the mistakes my parents and my friends with kids had made and I was going to do it better. Gone were the bad habits, and the tricks parents used to not really engage their kids. I was going to do it right, and I wasn’t alone. My childless friends felt as I did. We knew how to do it better.

Now that it is four, almost five years later, let me tell you, I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. It didn’t take me four years to realize this, it just took me four years to have enough free time to write it down.


My children will eat what I cook. I will teach my children to appreciate fine cuisine. They will have expansive palates and enjoy trying new things.

Now 🌭 🍭

Please eat. I don’t care what. We’ve been sitting at this table for over an hour. Please eat something. I long ago gave up on making exciting new dishes. Now I make whatever the kids want if it will just make them eat. Hot Dogs and Pop-tarts for every meal? Fine. Just please eat.

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