The Super Bowl comes but once a year, just like my birthday, and I’ve decided I want my husband to work as hard for my birthday as I do for his Super Bowl party.
Research Pinterest for weeks.
I want him on Pinterest, researching the most perfect meals for my big day. Which appetizers will thrill me? I made the guacamole football field with the sour cream yard lines topped with some pretzel stick field goals last year.
I’d like him to get creative. How about make me a wine and cheese plate in the shape of of my favorite flower or arrange the veggie platter into Ryan Gosling’s face. For the main course, he should roll sushi and grab some crab rangoon.
Finally, how cute can he possibly get the dessert? He should spend some time deciding if I’ll feel most like a brownie explosion or maybe cheesecake surprise.
Spend all weekend cooking and cleaning.
For a meal as important as my super birthday dinner, there needs to be prep work. It cannot be done in one day. He needs to prepare two days ahead of time, and check in hourly the day before.
The day of, I’d like that oven constantly going, but he should have thought ahead about when I’d be the most hungry. Mini-courses should already be established on a rotating basis via his mental and physical checklist, and everything should be crisp and clean. Including the bathrooms.
I’m going to need that all set out before I descend the stairs to my woman cave for the evening to take in some movies with my girlfriends for at least six hours.
Dress up the kids and decorate my house in my favorite colors.
Much like every Super Bowl, I’m going to need to see some team loyalty. Since my kids are cheering me on in life, I would like them to smile all day. No matter what, when I look around, I’d like it to look like we are celebrating a magical event.
I need to know which team each person is on. My boys can be wearing nice jeans or khakis with the some coordinating polos. My daughter will wear an ensemble that we didn’t argue about first all in the name of “Team Mommy.”
Invite all of my closest friends to my house.
The more the merrier at this life event, so get on the phone early – like two months early – and confirm some party people at our house. These need to be my closest friends, and I’d love for them to have a great time.
If you haven’t organized a babysitter this far in advance, please set up kid-friendly activities upstairs so the kids are simultaneously happy and quiet. We are most likely watching The Notebook or some trash TV, so I don’t want them downstairs for my precious six hours. Make sure to keep them occupied.
Give me the TV for six straight hours.
No matter what I feel like watching for that period of time, I’m going to need you to not interrupt it at all. Please make sure to keep the electricity flowing, and the throw pillows in reach. A disruption to our wi-fi will kill our mood. Put your cell phone on silent, because this day is important to me, and I cannot be interrupted.
Finally, for my birthday, if you were to treat me like I treat you on Super Bowl Sunday, you’ll be rewarded with another happy year, and very likely, a happy life.
Remember the golden rule, and let’s party!