A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood
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The children’s menu is nearly one century old. Michele Humes at Slate traces it to Prohibition. The dry laws implemented in 1920 meant that restaurants, which were used to upcharging on alcohol, had to drastically rethink their strategy. In an effort to accommodate more female diners, restaurants began writing menus for their children.


The kids’ menus then were as uniform as they are today, although the fare was much different. Most kid’s menus, including the Waldorf Astoria’s, offered a broiled lamb chop, which Humes calls “the chicken nugget of the Jazz Age.” The chop, along with a complement of other bland offerings, was the healthiest food to feed children, according to the pediatric wisdom of the time.

You can see bleak kid’s menu offerings in menus throughout Prohibition, including some of those cataloged in the New York Public Library’s expansive menu collection. The Cortile’s Luncheon menu for March 27, 1933 included Chilled Apple Juice, Cream of Spinach Soup, a Parsley Potato, and, of course, a Broiled Lamp Chop.

Courtesy of the New York Public Library

Menus like The Cortile’s represented the pediatric wisdom of the time that “wholesome” food made wholesome people. A tour through the dietary wisdom of the time demonstrates that although our menu offerings have changed, our approach to kid dining needs seasoning.

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Boiled, mashed, bland

To understand this received wisdom, we need to travel back a few years to the 1907 edition of L. Emmett Holt’s “The Care and Feeding of Children.” The free, full-text version is well-worth the read, both for the striking similarities to modern parenting and the fascinating divergences.

In some ways, Holt sounds much like a modern pediatrician. He is pro-nursing, firmly anti-bedsharing, and staunchly pro-vaccination. He writes to parents who note that smallpox is on the decline and wonder if vaccination is necessary: “It should by all means be done. It is only by the practice of general vaccination that small-pox is kept down.”

Other parts of Holt’s text show their 110 years, including his entry for masturbation, “the most injurious of all the bad habits.” Holt advises parents to be ever alert, and to help children overcome their baser impulses by rewarding their good behavior.

That same mix of timeless and dated advice permeates the section on “The Diet of Older Children.” Holt’s dietary guidance for four- to 10-year-olds begins with the nutritional value of milk, eggs, and meat, making it not all that different from modern food guides.

A closer look at Holt’s advice reveals an interesting pattern. Although “no food that we possess has so high a nutritive value as milk,” kids should never be given “the rich milk of a Jersey herd.” Eggs are “a most valuable food,” but “fried eggs should never be given and all omelets are objectionable.” Many meats are forbidden, including “ham, bacon, sausage, pork, liver, kidney, game, and all dried and salted meats.” Fried meat was out of the question.

According to Holt, a child’s first vegetable should be white potatoes (baked or boiled, never fried). Most green vegetables are okay from early age, as are carrots and beets, but other vegetables, like sweet potato and cauliflower, are best saved until a child is six or seven. Corn and eggplant are for even older kids, and under absolutely no circumstances should a child under 10 years of age be served a salad.

Holt asserts that vegetables can cause digestive trouble, but that is not the fault of the ingredient but its preparer: “It is, in fact, almost impossible to cook them too much; they should also be very finely mashed.”

Given his attitudes about the dangers of raw vegetables, it’s not difficult to imagine where Holt came down on sweets: “A stale lady-finger or piece of sponge cake is about as far in the matter of cakes as it is wise to go with children up to seven or eight years old.”

Holt’s low-fat, low-taste diet goes generally unsourced. Humes hypothesizes that “although he stopped short of saying what it was that was so inherently great about the plain ones,” Holt saw “moral danger in sensual pleasure, and damnation in indulgence.”

You are what you eat

Holt wasn’t the only believer. His advice has roots in medical practitioners concerned with people’s moral failings, one of whom was much more explicit about the role of food in curbing people’s basest impulses.

In “Plain Facts for the Old and Young: Embracing the Natural History and Hygiene of Organic Life,” which was first printed in 1877, J. H. Kellogg chronicles the moral failings of the time. He devotes an enormous portion of the work to the “solitary vice” of masturbation (which he contrasts with partnered, “social” vice). Kellogg lists among its causes all of the usual suspects: “sexual precocity, idleness, pernicious literature.”

Kellogg also includes “exciting and irritating food,” which was thought to cause erections, “amorous and exotic thoughts” (which also caused erections), and sleep disturbances (which created idle time that led to amorous and exotic thoughts which caused erections). Children with adventurous palettes were imagined to have equally voracious sexual appetites: “A boy or girl who is constantly eating cloves or cinnamon, or who will eat salt in quantities without other food, gives good occasion for suspicion.” For Kellogg, spicy food made spicy people. Bland food made moral citizens.

Kellogg’s solution to the problem of solitary vice was to feed children a diet of “wholesome and unstimulating food.” Kellogg developed these ideas while working as the superintendent at the Western Health Reform Institute. When the institute burned down, it was rebuilt as the Battle Creek Sanitarium. There Kellogg set to work making the kinds of wholesome and unstimulating foods he argued for in his book, including granola and – as you’ve probably guessed given his name – Corn Flakes.

Spicing up the menu

The medicalization of kids’ menus makes it a bit easier to understand the dishes on offer then, but also now. In some ways, the menu hasn’t changed much. Kids’ meals are still often separate from the adult offerings. Although there isn’t much “wholesome” about burgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and pizza, the main offerings are, like their originators, still beige, and still largely non-vegetable.

In the 20s and 30s kids were served bland food because adults wanted to keep them pure. Although the menu items we offer them now are much different, they’re still clearly delineated as “kids” food. None of the food poses a challenge. Kids aren’t encouraged to try anything new. They aren’t even encouraged to try flatware: four of the five most popular options can be eaten without it. By giving kids all this bland food, we are producing bland people.

Now that we’re not concerned about a slippery slope from raw vegetables or cinnamon to sexual depravity, perhaps it’s time to make kid food stimulating again. Jeffrey M. Barker of The Takeout notes how insulted adult diners would be to receive a menu titled “for troglodytes with unrefined palates.” Such a menu would defy one main reason for dining out. “Going out to eat is supposed to be fun.” Barker writes. “It should be a treat, an adventure.”

One way to regain that sense of adventure stems from another byproduct of Prohibition: the speakeasy. Let’s just tell the kids that they cannot, under any circumstances, order off the grown-up menu. Not even if they’re really hungry. Not even if the food sounds delicious. Not even if we leave the table to go to the bathroom. Might they wave the server over and in conspiratorial tones ask for the chicken makhani? The pad thai? The pesto flatbread?

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As mamas, we naturally become the magic-makers for our families. We sing the songs that make the waits seem shorter, dispense the kisses that help boo-boos hurt less, carry the seemingly bottomless bags of treasures, and find ways to turn even the most hum-drum days into something memorable.

Sometimes it's on a family vacation or when exploring a new locale, but often it's in our own backyards or living rooms. Here are 12 ways to create magical moments with kids no matter where your adventures take you.


1. Keep it simple

Mary Poppins may be practically perfect in every way, but―trust us―your most magical memories don't require perfection. Spend the morning building blanket forts or break out the cookie cutters to serve their sandwich in a fun shape and you'll quickly learn that, for kids, the most magical moments are often the simplest.

2. Get on their level

Sometimes creating a memorable moment can be as easy as getting down on the floor and playing with your children. So don't be afraid to get on your hands and knees, to swing from the monkey bars, or turn watching your favorite movie into an ultimate snuggle sesh.

3. Reimagine the ordinary

As Mary says, "the cover is not the book." Teach your child to see the world beyond initial impressions by encouraging them to imagine a whole new world as you play―a world where the laundry basket can be a pirate ship or a pile of blankets can be a castle.

4. Get a little messy

Stomp in muddy puddles. Break out the finger paint. Bake a cake and don't worry about frosting drips on the counter. The messes will wait, mama. For now, let your children―and yourself―live in these moments that will all too soon become favorite memories.

5. Throw out the plan

The best-laid plans...are rarely the most exciting. And often the most magical moments happen by accident. So let go of the plan, embrace the unexpected, and remember that your child doesn't care if the day goes according to the schedule.

6. Take it outside

There's never a wrong time of year to make magic outside. Take a stroll through a spring rainstorm, catch the first winter snowflakes on your tongue, or camp out under a meteor shower this summer. Mother Nature is a natural at creating experiences you'll both remember forever.

7. Share your childhood memories

Chances are if you found it magical as a child, then your kids will too. Introduce your favorite books and movies (pro tip: Plan a double feature with an original like Mary Poppins followed with the sequel, Mary Poppins Returns!) or book a trip to your favorite family vacation spot from the past. You could even try to recreate photos from your old childhood with your kids so you can hang on to the memory forever.

8. Just add music

Even when you're doing something as humdrum as prepping dinner or tidying up the living room, a little music has a way of upping the fun factor. Tell Alexa to cue up your favorite station for a spontaneous family dance party or use your child's favorite movie soundtrack for a quick game of "Clean and Freeze" to pick up toys at the end of the day.

9. Say "yes"

Sometimes it can feel like you're constantly telling your child "no." While it's not possible to grant every request (sorry, kiddo, still can't let you drive the car!), plan a "yes" day for a little extra magic. That means every (reasonable) request gets an affirmative response for 24 hours. Trust us―they'll never forget it.

10. Let them take the lead

A day planned by your kid―can you imagine that? Instead of trying to plan what you think will lead to the best memories, put your kid in the driver's seat by letting them make the itinerary. If you have more than one child, break up the planning so one gets to pick the activity while the other chooses your lunch menu. You just might end up with a day you never expected.

11. Ask more questions

Odds are, your child might not remember every activity you plan―but they will remember the moments you made them feel special. By focusing the conversation on your little one―their likes, dislikes, goals, or even just craziest dreams―you teach them that their perspective matters and that you are their biggest fan.

12. Turn a bad day around

Not every magical moment will start from something good. But the days where things don't go to plan can often turn out to be the greatest memories, especially when you find a way to turn even a negative experience into a positive memory. So don't get discouraged if you wake up to rain clouds on your beach day or drop the eggs on the floor before breakfast―take a cue from Mary Poppins and find a way to turn the whole day a little "turtle."

Mary Poppins Returns available now on Digital & out on Blue-ray March 19! Let the magic begin in your house with a night where everything is possible—even the impossible ✨

Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Garner have a lot in common. They are both actors, they're both moms of three, and they're both having a laugh clapping back at magazine headlines suggesting they're pregnant.

Witherspoon shared the cover of the latest issue of OK! on her Instagram recently, tagging Jen Garner in the caption and asking "Can we raise our imaginary babies together?"

"We are going to be the cutest imaginary family," Garner replied. "I'll just go ahead and move in now."

As much as we are all for an alternative reality where Witherspoon and Garner are BFFs who move in together to raise their children, it's pretty clear that isn't happening in the real world.

What is happening is speculation about women's bodies, which isn't cool. In this case, a magazine linked Jen Garner's supposed fondness for sweaters to a secret pregnancy and not, you know, sweater weather.

But women in the public eye have to put up with pregnancy rumors nearly constantly. Just recently, Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge was said by tabloids to be three months pregnant, a rumor she totally shut down by drinking Guinness on St. Patrick's Day.

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And of course, no woman in history has been pregnant as often as the tabloids have made Jennifer Aniston out to be, something she's written at length about, noting that the speculation is hurtful to her on a personal level, and is damaging on a societal level. "If I am some kind of symbol to some people out there, then clearly I am an example of the lens through which we, as a society, view our mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, female friends and colleagues," she wrote for Huffington Post in 2016. "The objectification and scrutiny we put women through is absurd and disturbing."

"We use celebrity 'news' to perpetuate this dehumanizing view of females, focused solely on one's physical appearance, which tabloids turn into a sporting event of speculation. Is she pregnant? Is she eating too much? Has she let herself go? Is her marriage on the rocks because the camera detects some physical 'imperfection'?" Aniston wondered in her essay.

Like Aniston, Garner and Witherspoon are frequent subjects of false stories that say more about our society than they do about the women they claim to be reporting on.

It's good to see these two powerful women clapping back at companies that make money peddling pretend pregnancy narratives. As much as we love a *real* pregnancy announcement, we're bored to death of bump speculation. Women—those making the headlines and those consuming them—deserve better.

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To the parent of the child who continues eating a snack from the ground well after the five-second rule expires...

To the parent of the child who isn't content unless their hands are at least a little muddy...

To the parent of the child who is perfectly happy to share sips of water from a friend's cup...

There is good news: Exposure to dirt and germs helps children's immune systems. Jack Gilbert, Ph.D., a scientist who studies microbial ecosystems at the University of Chicago—and a father of two who continually faced messy situations—looked into the effects of those potential germs on little bodies for a study published in The New England Journal of Medicine.

What he and his co-authors discovered about the relationships between kids and germs was incredibly reassuring. “It turned out that most of the exposures were actually beneficial," he told NPR's Weekend Edition. "So that dirty pacifier that fell on the floor—if you just stick it in your mouth and lick it, and then pop it back in little Tommy's mouth, it's actually going to stimulate their immune system. Their immune system's going to become stronger because of it."

Now the co-author of Dirt is Good: The Advantage of Germs for Your Child's Developing Immune System, Gilbert said his bigger concerns is with the extreme sanitization we see today.

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“It's fine to wash their hands if there's a cold or a flu virus around, but if they're interacting with a dog, and the dog licks their face, that's not a bad thing," Gilbert said. “In fact that could be extremely beneficial for the child's health."

So, what's the reason why small amounts of dirt and germs help kids?

Gilbert said the infection-fighting neutrophil cells in our bodies become “grumpy and pro-inflammatory" when they're waiting for something to do. So, without small amounts of germs of fight off along the way, those neutrophils become “explosively inflammatory" when they finally do get to tango. As he said, “That's what triggers asthma and eczema and often times, food allergies."

As for the common dirty dilemmas parents face, here are the verdicts Gilbert gave to NPR...

Should children use hand-sanitizer?

Gilbert said that hot, soapy water is the better bet in most cases.

Is it okay for a kid to eat something more than five seconds after it fell on the floor?

Gilbert said this is actually a case of all-or-nothing: Because it takes microbes less than a second to attach to food, the bigger question is just how contaminated do you think the surface really is? In most homes, he said this isn't too big of a concern.

Should you wash or lick a pacifier after it fell?

Good news to the mamas who never got around to buying those pacifier wipes: Gilbert cited a study of more than 300,000 children, which showed children of moms in the habit of licking off dirty pacifiers actually had lower rates of asthma, allergies and eczema. As he said, “Overall, their health was stronger and more robust."

Next time your toddler eats a handful of dirt, remember this: You're just doing your part in raising a healthy kid.

Here's how to make your job a little bit easier, mama:

1. Fill your own cup first

As a parent, you are always taking care of other people. The whirlwind of worry, cooking, feeding, diaper changing, snotty nose wiping, cleaning, scheduling, shopping, working, and sleepless nights leaves you feeling frazzled and drained. The cycle of constantly tending to others' needs leaves no time for your own.

But you can't pour from an empty cup. In reality, serving yourself first will allow you to best serve others. It is not selfish, it's just basic self-respect. Something you want your kids to learn, right?

So find a way to make self-care a priority. The world can wait while you take a little break to go for a walk, read a book, pursue a hobby you enjoy, do some yoga, prep healthy meals, or even take a fantastic nap.

2. Get moving

One of the single most important ways to implement self-care is to exercise. I know, I know, you've heard this one a million times. “But I don't have the energy or time, it's hard, it's boring," you might say.

But it doesn't have to be that complicated. You don't have to spend hours a day, buy expensive equipment, join a class, kill yourself boot camp-style, or even go to the gym (unless that's your thing, of course).

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Just get your body moving. Find something that you actually enjoy. Walk, dance, or follow a simple at-home workout plan in your living room. You'll find it invigorating and will be surprised at all the wonderful things it will do in your life, like boost energy and immunity, improve your sleep, and even help you think more clearly. Not to mention you'll be setting a great example for your kids to follow, double win!

3. Let boredom ring

“I'm bored."

Two little words every parent dreads hearing. That phrase sends us into a frenzy of googling activities to do, Pinterest-y snacks to make, local events to go to, and crafts to make out of toilet paper tubes. Then, when our offspring decide none of this stuff is acceptable, we throw up our hands and just give them another hour of screen time.

Why do we think we need to entertain our kids at all times?

LET THEM BE BORED.

Everyone experiences it. No one ever died from it. It's not something you need to protect your children from.

There are actually all kinds of benefits to getting bored. Boredom fosters creativity. When a kid hits that state of nothing left to do, their brain starts really firing. Bored thoughts lead to innovative thoughts, which are a good thing.

They will come up with something to do, no matter how much whining happens first. If they really need help, create a list with them that they can always go back to. If that doesn't work, you can always make a list of chores or ask them to help you clean. Suddenly anything else becomes oh-so-fun!

If they're always handed things to do, how are they ever going to handle themselves? Constant doting and attention can lead to them feeling entitled throughout life. Let them start thinking for themselves.

Remember, learning to amuse themselves helps develop problem-solving skills, motivation, and interests of their own – all contributing to healthy psychological development and a clear sense of self.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to ignore your children. It's great to spend time and do things with them, but it's also okay and even beneficial to let them figure things out for themselves sometimes.

Bonus: You might even be able to get some valuable me-time out of it.

4. Give yourself a time-out

Although you probably can't take a daily nap or excuse yourself from frustrating moments in most situations, you can give yourself a little time out when you need it at home. If you need a break, just go to another room and cool down a bit. Breathe. You'll likely be more reasonable and collected when you come back.

5. Help yourself to some hygge

Um…what?

Hygge (pronounced hoo-gah) is a Danish term meaning “a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being." It's likely a factor in why Denmark is considered the happiest country in the world.

Unfortunately, in our fast-paced culture, relaxing can be viewed as laziness or underachievement. Silence your inner critic and anyone else whose opinion you don't need. Taking a break is not only nice, it's necessary.

Just as adequate sleep is vital to overall health and functioning, a hygge-style mental rest can make you feel refreshed, full of joy, and more productive, among other things.

So have a hefty helping of hygge however it suits you. Slow down to savor a mug of hot cocoa or coffee, enjoy family movie night, slip on some warm fuzzy slippers, listen to music, Netflix and chill, go on a date night, get together with friends, bake cookies, chill on the beach…whatever makes you feel comforted and cozy. Try to make this a regular thing in your life. It's a lifestyle, not just an occasional thing.


She turns five this month. My sweet, little baby girl will be five.

I have all the typical parental platitudes: Where did the time go? I can't believe she's FIVE! Remember when she was just born? Took her first step? Roared like a lion all the time? (Okay, so that one's making a comeback.)

When she rocketed into this world, I had no idea about anything. I had no idea who she would become, or who I would become, or even that I would transform into someone else.

Looking at pictures of that day produces the same nostalgic emotion in me, directed at both of us—Awwww, I remember that girl.

I remember her, so tiny and beautiful, sweet and new. And I remember me, innocent and hopeful, exhausted and adrift. Untethered. Something changed in me the day she was born, but I didn't know that yet. And I certainly didn't know what or why or how I would get to the other side.

Five years. Five years of sleepless nights and intense love. Five years of laughs and kissing booboos and reading books.

Five years.

She's growing up. So much changes by five. I'm heading into this year pretty certain that this is the last year of being able to see any remaining baby-ness in her. I've watched it start to fade faster than ever, these past few months.

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I don't want to head into five being overly sentimental or sad. I am fiercely proud of my girl. For the way she embraces love, creativity and adventure. For how she's traversed the past few years of preschool and new friends and a little brother who is growing up fast and requiring more and more of our attention. For how quick she is to hug and laugh.

She's independent, stubborn and strong-willed. She's curious, open and loving. And she was trusted to me. I am awed. Whatever I did to earn this girl with the beautiful, magical, wonderful spirit, I will never stop trying to live up to the privilege.

And now, I wonder about myself.

I've also been trusted with my own beautiful, magical, wonderful spirit. For a little while, I stopped considering that a privilege. I stopped considering it at all. I think this is the point where danger lurks in motherhood, the point where we put ourselves on a shelf and go all-in on our kids' lives.

I also think it's okay to do that. In some ways, it's required. But we need a tether, something attached to dry land that can pull us back when we wade out too deep.

The Stevie Smith poem echoes in my head, when I think about the darkest, deepest days: "I was much too far out all my life/ And not waving but drowning."

How many mamas do we see waving who are actually drowning? So many, I think. We haven't figured out how to be moms in this do-it-all era. We're getting there, but so many of us are untethered.

I would do anything for my kids, and if it came down to it I know that I would cast aside my dreams in favor of theirs. I just can't think of a scenario where it would come down to that. I think that both can coexist.

I think I can give my kids my best and still water the garden of my own desires. I think I have to. I know I want to show them that. I want them to see me happy, fulfilled. I want them to believe that anything is possible, not just because I told them it's possible for them but because I showed them that it was possible for me.

I love them with a fierceness, and so I have learned to be fierce about my love for myself, too.

My daughter turns five very soon, and we'll celebrate her. But in the back of my head, I'll be celebrating me, too. So maybe it's really this: We turn five this month.

For me, five years of motherhood. Feeling tethered, finally.

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