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Our Toddler’s First Big Screen Movie Experience: A Cautionary Tale

We were in the bowels of a multiplex in downtown Brooklyn, my husband, son, and I, padding along the soft polyurethane carpeting toward the door to the theater.

It was 9:25 a.m. and in just 10 minutes, the lights would dim, roughly 300 trailers would be projected onto a screen whose square footage matched that of our apartment until, at last, the Disney fireworks thing would appear, signaling the reason why we were here:

So that our son could revel in the magic that is movie-going in the 21st century.

Through the doorway we strode, into the dazzling semi-darkness, and within seconds my son was in an audible panic.

So were we.

Somehow, in the three years since I gave birth, I’ve aged enough to have slipped, like an old button, into the drawer of delicate things, breakable things not fit for the everyday traumas inflicted by the big bad world – traumas such as the VOLUME OF THE GODDAMN PRE-SHOW PHONE COMMERCIALS.

As we flung our coats on seats, I gaped at the millions of fast moving pixels in front of me, my son fastened to my chest like Sigourney Weaver holding onto the ship in Alien.

“It’s so loud!” I shouted across the armrest at my husband. He mouthed something back, but I have no idea what. Things got quiet for a moment, a movie trivia question popped onto the screen, commanding my husband’s rapt attention, and my son’s, who’d poked his head out to consider it.

I watched his large, naïve eyes scan from left to right, gauging the breadth of the oceanic beast that was the sheet of vinyl seven rows in front of us. But before he could resume breathing normally, on came another commercial, probably for a phone, I DON’T KNOW, I WAS PANICKING.

From that moment – approximately 9:30 a.m. – until the final trailer, for Monster Trucks, commenced, my husband and I engaged in a low-key relay race where the baton was our child and the various legs involved jogging into and out of the theater at random intervals.

In retrospect, I think we were subconsciously trying to haze our child into loving movie theaters, but at the time, we were just trying to get by.

The first recovery leg involved several rounds of a hopeless crane game out in the vacant hallway. Nobody won a Minion (because, of course, it was we who were the minions).

After that, it was my turn, when, 20 seconds into a live-action adaptation of an old fairytale, a bearded man was flung into the snow by a shadowy creature, prompting my son to attempt to claw his way back into the womb.

As we exchanged our progeny, my husband rubbed his chin anxiously and called out, “I think we can get our money back.” I nodded uncertainly, son in arms, and galloped out to a metal bench just outside the movie theater. The smell of popcorn was stronger out here and a comfort to me, though I feared it might forever haunt the person in my arms.

In minutes, he seemed to have fallen asleep. I listened to the hellish symphony of sound effects through the walls. I rubbed his back and pressed my cheek against his. How quickly the world could feel awful and, yet, how quickly one could escape it, hovering just outside of it, filled with relief and dread.

How stupidly lucky were we, parents whose worst nightmare was an oversized made-up world of pictures and sounds that were only as real as our children’s imaginations might allow them to be. How easy for us to not actually wonder whether we’d survive this particular parenting nightmare.

A man who worked at theater walked by and, smiling in an effort to make myself less terrifying, I yelled, “Is there any way you can lower the volume?”

He poked his head into the theater. “The trailers are over, ma’am. They’re much louder than the movie. Don’t worry.”   

“Okay,” I said, and a moment later, a profoundly loud fart emanated a few yards from us. It could only have come from one place: those Dolby speakers. The creature in my arms looked up at me. I smiled, this time because I meant it (and because farts are the greatest comfort, greater even than the smell of heavily buttered popcorn). We tiptoed cautiously back into our stadium seats.

It was the goofy short that won him over, inured, as he’d become, to the size of the screen and to its thunder. We did not get our money back. We watched Moana, or, more accurately, we watched our son watch Moana.

It was great and overwhelming, and the next time we go to the movies will probably be in 2018.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

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We've had some struggles, you and me. In my teens, we were just getting to know each other. It was a rocky road at times, like when people referred to you as "big boned." I was learning how to properly fuel you by giving you the right foods. How to be active, to keep you strong and in good shape. I wish I knew then what I do now about you and what a true blessing you are. But that's something that has come with the gift of motherhood.

In my 20's, we became more well-acquainted. I knew how to care for you. After I got engaged, we worked so hard together to get into "wedding shape." And, looking back now, I totally took that six pack—okay, four pack—for granted. (But I have the pictures to prove it.)

Now that I'm in my 30's (how did my 30's happen so fast, btw?) with two kids, I'm coming to terms with my new postpartum body.

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If there are two things a mama is guaranteed to love, it's Target plus adorable and functional baby products. Target's exclusive baby brand Cloud Island has been a favorite destination for cute and affordable baby clothing and décor for nearly two years and because of that success, they're now expanding into baby essentials. 🙌

The new collection features 30 affordable products starting at $0.99 and going up to $21.99 with most items priced under $10—that's about 30-40% less expensive than other products in the market. Mamas can now enjoy adding diapers, wipes, feeding products and toiletries to their cart alongside clothing and accessories from a brand they already know and love.

The best part? The Target team has ensured that the affordability factor doesn't cut down on durability by working with hundreds of parents to create and test the collection. The wipes are ultra-thick and made with 99% water and plant-based ingredients, while the toiletries are dermatologist-approved. With a Tri-Wrap fold, the diapers offer 12-hour leak protection and a snug fit so parents don't have to sacrifice safety or functionality.

So when can you start shopping? Starting on January 20, customers can shop the collection across all stores and online. We can't wait to see how this beloved brand expands in the future.

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Many people experience the "winter blues," which are often worst in northern climates from November to March, when people have less access to sunlight, the outdoors and their communities. Another 4% develops Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is a form of clinical depression that often requires formal treatment.

If you have the winter blues, you may feel “blah," sad, tired, anxious or be in a worse mood than usual. You may struggle with overeating, loss of libido, work or sleep issues. But fear not—it is possible to find your joy in the winter, mama.

Here are eight ways to feel better:

1. Take a walk

Research has shown that walking on your lunch break just three times per week can reduce tension, relax you and improve your enthusiasm. If you are working from 9 to 5, the only window you have to access natural sunlight may be your lunch hour, so head outside for a 20 minute brisk but energizing walk!

If you are home, bundle up with your kids midday—when the weather is often warmest—and play in the snow, go for a short walk, play soccer, race each other, or do something else to burn energy and keep you all warm. If you dress for the weather, you'll all feel refreshed after some fresh air.

2. Embrace light

Research suggests that a full-spectrum light box or lamp, which mimics sunlight, can significantly improve the symptoms of the winter blues and has a similar effect to an antidepressant. Bright light at a certain time every day activates a part of the brain that can help restore normal circadian rhythms. While light treatment may not be beneficial for everyone (such as people who have bipolar disorder), it may be a beneficial tool for some.

3. Plan a winter trip

It may be helpful to plan a getaway for January or February. Plan to take it very easy, as one research study found that passive vacation activities, including relaxing, "savoring," and sleeping had greater effects on health and well-being than other activities. Engaging in passive activities on vacation also makes it more likely that your health and well-being will remain improved for a longer duration after you go back to work.

Don't overschedule your trip. Relax at a beach, a pool, or a cabin instead of waiting in long roller coaster lines or visiting packed museums. Consider visiting or traveling with family to help with child care, build quiet time into your vacation routine, and build in a day of rest, recovery, and laundry catch-up when you return.

4. Give in to being cozy

Sometimes people mistake the natural slowness of winter as a problem within themselves. By making a concerted effort to savor the slowness, rest and retreat that complement winter, you can see your reduction in activity as a natural and needed phase.

Research suggests that naps help you release stress. Other research suggests that when your brain has time to rest, be idle, and daydream, you are better able to engage in "active, internally focused psychosocial mental processing," which is important for socioemotional health.

Make a "cozy basket" filled with your favorite DVDs, bubble bath or Epsom salts, lemon balm tea (which is great for “blues,") or chamomile tea (which is calming and comforting), citrus oils (which are good for boosting mood), a blanket or a favorite book or two. If you start to feel the blues, treat yourself.

If your child is napping or having quiet time in the early afternoon, rest for a full 30 minutes instead of racing around doing chores. If you're at work, keep a few mood-boosting items (like lavender spray, tea, lotion, or upbeat music) nearby and work them into your day. If you can't use them at work, claim the first 30 minutes after your kids are asleep to nurture yourself and re-energize before you tackle dishes, laundry, or other chores.

5. See your friends

Because of the complex demands of modern life, it can be hard to see or keep up with friends or family. The winter can make it even harder. While you interact with your kids throughout the day, human interaction with other adults (not just through social media!) can act as a protective layer to keep the winter blues at bay.

Plan a monthly dinner with friends, go on a monthly date night if you have a partner, go to a book club, get a drink after work with a coworker, visit a friend on Sunday nights, or plan get-togethers with extended family. Research suggests that social interactions are significantly related to well-being.

Realize that given most families' packed schedules, you may need to consistently take the lead in bringing people together. Your friends will probably thank you, too.

6. Get (at least) 10 minutes of fresh air

A number of research studies have shown positive effects of nature on well-being, including mental restoration, immune health, and memory. It works wonders for your mood to get outside in winter, even if it's just for 10 minutes 2 to 3 times per week. You might walk, snowshoe, shovel, go sledding or go ice-skating. If you can't get outside, you might try these specific yoga poses for the winter blues.

7. Add a ritual

Adding a ritual to your winter, such as movie night, game night, hot chocolate after playing outside, homemade soup on Sundays, or visiting with a different friend every Saturday morning for breakfast, can add beauty and flow to the seemingly long months of winter. Research has suggested that family rituals and traditions, such as Sunday dinner, provide times for togetherness and strengthening relationships.

8. Talk to a professional

Counseling, which helps you identify the connections between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, can be extremely helpful for the winter blues (especially when you are also experiencing anxiety or stress). A counselor can assist you with identifying and honoring feelings, replacing negative messages with positive ones, or shifting behaviors. A counselor may also help you indulge into winter as a time of retreat, slowness, planning, and reflecting. You may choose to use the winter to get clear on what you'd like to manifest in spring.

The opposite of the winter blues is not the absence of the winter blues—it's taking great pleasure in the unique contribution of a time of cold, darkness, retreat, planning, reflecting, being cozy and hibernating. Nurturing yourself and your relationships can help you move toward winter joy.

Weary mama,

You are incredibly strong. You are so very capable.

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