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The 6 Stages of Getting Your Kids to Like Led Zeppelin

When I first became a father, one of the things that got me through the long nights and gushes of bodily fluids was the thought that one day, I could place a paternal hand on my children’s shoulders (luckily I have as many children as I have hands) and introduce them to the world of Led Zeppelin.


Like any man, I believe the answers to most things in life lie in the cryptic lyrics of Robert Plant and the riffage of Jimmy Page, so surely my children will appreciate me passing on this wisdom?

Of course, I’ve faced some resistance to this, partly from my wife who thinks Led Zeppelin is just another noisy rock band, and partly from my children, who would rather listen to pretty much anything else. But I haven’t given up and I’m here today to help other dads facing this tricky task. So here are the six stages of getting your kids to like Led Zeppelin:

Shock

Okay, this one requires some craftiness as well as the time to not only come up with a plan but also execute it. Your car is no doubt full of Disney CDs and other such child-friendly material, and every time you get in and try to put something else on, the chorus from the back seat forces an immediate change, right? Simply replace the discs from these awful kiddie albums with Led Zep. “Oh, you want to listen to Barney The Dinosaur? Sure! Oh no, it’s “Houses Of The Holy.” Guess we’re stuck with it…”

Denial

That didn’t work, did it? At the end of the car journey, you just had to put the Zingzillas CD back in the car, right? And they ruined the integrity of “The Rain Song” by crying all the way through it. But it’ll be fine. You can try it again tomorrow and they’ll really get excited when “No Quarter” is on, because everyone loves that song, don’t they? Or they might appreciate the pun in the title of “D’yer Mak’er,” which sounds like Jamaica… It’ll be FINE!

Anger

LET IT GO! LET IT GO? LET THIS GO! *throws “Frozen” CD out of the car window* Well, okay, maybe skip this stage, or just channel your rage into listening to “Led Zeppelin IV” really loud through your bluetooth speaker in the kitchen. While doing the dishes. This isn’t helping is it?

Bargaining

Bargaining with a four-year-old is a daily chore (okay, hourly), whether it’s about getting them to eat their meals, stop strangling their siblings, or an attempt to avoid sitting through the Shaun the Sheep Movie AGAIN. So you must be getting good at it, right? You’ve evolved beyond “new parent” status to “pro parent.” Last night they almost ate some peas. So why not use these skills to demonstrate to your children that it’s a privilege for them to listen to you singing along to “Dazed And Confused”?

Depression

Day 4 of Operation Led Zeppelin and they STILL won’t accept that John Bonham is a better drummer than Animal from The Muppets (on the plus side you got your kids to watch “The Muppets,” even if it’s only the new films, and they got bored when you tried to make them watch “The Muppet Show”). This is never going to work. It’s time to sit in your Man Cave and brood with your original pressing of “In Through The Out Door.” Or at least the half of it you’ll get to listen to before someone small comes in and starts jumping up and down on you and turns off the record player.

Testing

Right, you’ve brooded but there’s still time for one last go. For one thing there’s that Led Zeppelin lullabies album on Spotify, that might be a sneaky way to imprint the songs into their brains while they’re sleeping. Yeah, that could work! And there’s that Puff Daddy song from “Godzilla” that is basically “Kashmir!” Jimmy Page was even on that wasn’t he? That’s a good gateway song if ever there was such a thing. Hey kids, check out this hip track! Ha! You’re listening to Zeppelin! Wait, what do you mean, “Who’s Puff Daddy?” Come back!

Acceptance

The lullabies album is awful. Not even you like it. They kind of liked the Puff Daddy song, but got bored when you actually started explaining that it came from a Led Zep song called “Kashmir” and then played them the original song. Let’s face it, they are NEVER going to like “Stairway To Heaven” when they won’t sit down long enough for the guitar solo to start. Your wife made you turn off “The Lemon Song.” That “Balamory” CD is going to be in the car for the foreseeable future.

But it’s okay, because you could always have another child. No, that’s a terrible idea. But it’s okay – your four-year-old still doesn’t like to listen to “Achilles Last Stand,” but maybe that will come later. Actually, weren’t you 24 before you realized you liked that song? And 30 before you could tell people with confidence whether it was on “Presence” or “Coda”? As a parent, you’re in this for the long haul and one day the Disney CDs will be banished by your very own children. It’s just a case of playing the waiting game…

The waiting game sucks, let’s play “Hungry Hungry Hippos” instead. 

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Going back to work after having a baby is hard. Regaining your footing in a world where working mothers are so often penalized is tough, and (just like most things during the postpartum period) it takes time.

The challenges we face as working women returning from a maternity leave can be so different from those we faced before, it can feel like we're starting over from scratch. But mothers will not be deterred, even if our return to the working world doesn't go exactly as planned.

We are resilient, as Serena Williams proved at Wimbledon this weekend.

She lost to Angelique Kerber in the final, just 10 months after welcoming daughter Alexis Olympia and recovering from a physically and emotionally traumatic birth experience.

Williams didn't get her eighth Wimbledon title this weekend, but when we consider all the challenges she (and all new moms) faced in resuming her career, her presence was still a huge achievement.

"It was such an amazing tournament for me, I was really happy to get this far!" Williams explained in an emotional post-match interview.

"For all the moms out there, I was playing for you today. And I tried. I look forward to continuing to be back out here and doing what I do best."

The loss at Wimbledon isn't what she wanted, of course, but Williams says it does not mean there won't be wins in her near future.

"These two weeks have showed me I can really compete and be a contender to win grand slams. This is literally just the beginning. I took a giant step at Wimbledon but my journey has just began."

When asked what she hopes other new moms take away from her journey, Williams noted her postpartum recovery was really difficult, and hopes that other moms who face challenges early in motherhood know that they don't have to give up on whatever dreams they have for themselves, whether it involves working or not.

"Honestly, I feel like if I can do it, they can do it. I'm just that person, that vessel that's saying, 'You can be whatever you want to be.' If you want to go back to workand to me, after becoming a mom, I feel like there's no pressure to do that because having a child is a completely full-time job," she said.

"But to those that do want to go back, you can do it, you can really do it."

Thank you, Serena. You may not have won, but this was still a victory.

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Now, Chip Gaines is showing off a pic that proves there is nothing cuter than a floppy, sleepy baby.

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Earlier this week Crew's mama shared how she gets him so sleepy in the first place, posting an Instagram Story showing how she walks around the family's gardens on their Waco, Texas farm to lull her newborn boy to sleep.



The couple are clearly enjoying every single moment of Crew's babyhood. As recently as 7 days ago Chip was still sporting his hospital bracelet. Joanna says with each child he's worn his maternity ward ID until it finally wears off. We can't blame Chip for wanting to make the newborn phase last as long as possible.

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Johnson & Johnson was just ordered to pay almost $4.7 billion to 22 women who sued, alleging baby powder caused their ovarian cancer.

A St. Louis jury says the women are right, but what does The American Academy of Pediatrics say about baby powder?

It was classified "a hazard" before many of today's parents were even born

The organization has actually been recommending against baby powder for years, but not due to cancer risks, but inhalation risks.

Way back in 1981 the AAP declared baby powder "a hazard," issuing a report pointing out the frequency of babies aspirating the powder, which can be dangerous and even fatal in the most severe cases.

That warning didn't stop all parents from using the powder though, as its continued presence on store shelves to this day indicates.

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Recent updates

A 2015 update to the AAP's Healthy Children website suggests the organization was even very recently still more concerned about the risk of aspiration than cancer risks like those alleged in the lawsuit. It suggests that parents who choose to use baby powder "pour it out carefully and keep the powder away from baby's face [as] published reports indicate that talc or cornstarch in baby powder can injure a baby's lungs."

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The one thing everyone agrees on is that parents need more support when it comes to infant feeding, and in that respect, the controversy over the World Health Assembly resolution may be a good thing.

In their joint letter to the editor published in the New York Times this week, the presidents of the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American College of Obstetricians, Dr. Colleen Kraft and Dr. Lisa Hollier urge "the United States and every country to protect, promote and support breast-feeding for the health of all women, children and families."

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