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“I wonder how we can get them to sleep more.”


This simple thought, expressed by my wife, not even a question, became a challenge to me. My engineer mind took this as a problem to be solved, and when a software developer sees a problem, they devise tests. Luckily, I knew the perfect system for testing out some ideas in a controlled and measurable setting. And with twins, testing would be even easier. Welcome to parenting, A/B testing style.

A/B testing is used all over the web. You likely encounter it dozens, if not hundreds of times a day, without even noticing it. All the big tech companies do it, using it as a tool to test the performance of ideas and measure them.

Google is famous for testing 41 shades of blue for search results. Designers allegedly couldn’t decide which of two shades to use, so they tested 41 in total to see which led to the more users clicking on the results.

Facebook tests different experiences within the feed constantly. Amazon even changes around the buy buttons and cart layouts fairly often. You may notice these if you ever log in from a new computer or see a friend using a site that looks subtly different from yours.

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A/B testing is used to test one or more “treatments” or experiments over a “control” or the existing experience. A metric is measured, usually based on a user action such as a click through or “conversion” with a baseline against the control.

For the Google example, they might test the likelihood of users clicking through to at least one result with the different shade. After a statistically significant period of time, often a week or two, whichever experience has a better rate will be chosen as the winner and becomes the new control.

Where this gets really complicated is when multiple experiments are run at the same time or when the percentage of users is not equally split. Here a complicated knowledge of statistics is needed. Or the use of any of the many powerful testing tools available. At Audible and Amazon, we test experiences like this all the time. It’s the best way to see how users actually behave as often what users say they will do and what they do can be slightly different.

At Audible and Amazon, we test experiences like this all the time. It’s the best way to see how users actually behave, as often, what users say they will do and what they do can be slightly different.

Charting results

I decided to use this method of testing with the boys to see if we could increase the most important metric in the house, as anyone with 10-week old children, especially twins, knows: sleep times. Using one of the boys as a control and the other as the treatment – nevermind the fact that no one would describe any part of our lives right now with the words “control” or “treatment” – I tested several theories about length of sleep, baselined against the control.

In any experiment, accurate measurement and data tracking are critical. Often a success metric is chosen due to the availability of data or measurability. You don’t want to be trying to measure something that takes longer to measure than it does to change the test or test input. Luckily measuring sleep is about as easy as it gets.

When they wake up at night, we just write it down. This is exactly what we’ve been doing since the day they were born as the nurses at the hospital instructed us. We’ve gone through several notebooks already, but it’s so easy to track. For this, we even started importing the data into a spreadsheet to see the impact more visually.

 

Big Data

First, we tested increasing the amount given at the feeding immediately before bedtime. Instead of the normal four ounces, we tried five, then six. To prevent bias from one child, we alternated who was the test and who was the control since they seem to be on alternating cycles. While one child had a larger evening feeding, the other would stay at four ounces. The result: inconclusive.
Both children seemed to start increasing length of sleep anyway during this period. They both slept almost the exact same length of time as well. There was one night where an increased feeding correlated with a record 5.5 hour stretch of sleep, but one data point is insignificant in this dataset.
It was also hard to continue testing this as anything beyond five ounces had a high likelihood of being spit out a few minutes after eating.

Next was a secret whispered about in the dark corners of parent blogs around the web and passed from parent to fellow parent, at least in my office, gripe water. Ok maybe it isn’t that much of a secret, but it took us a while to try it. Supposedly this mix of herbs and spices, as opposed to KFC’s blend, would settle stomachs from reflux and gas, especially overnight, resulting in longer sleep.

After a week of testing, we found it did actually help with reflux, especially spit ups, and though we didn’t track individual burps or farts, seemed to reduce them as well. The length of sleep was not impacted much, though. We did see a small increase on average, between 20 and 30 minutes, but again this may have been natural increases due to age.

No reflux equals a happy baby

After gripe water, which became the new control, we tested an extra feeding before bed. The boys were starting to do this naturally on their own, anyway, and we had been trying to prevent it. However, it seemed like an opportunity ripe for testing, so we gave it a shot. Many children will “cluster” feed before bed, with a second feeding only a short time after the previous one. We did this feeding about 1.5 to 2 hours after the previous, compared to 3 hours normally. In this feeding, we tried 4 ounces compared with the 4–5 they normally take during daytime feedings. Sometimes they would refuse to take more than 3. Of all the experiments, this seemed to work best. We saw increases in up to an extra hour of sleep as a result, though often not until a few days into the experiment, apparently this takes time to affect sleep patterns. A good lesson for A/B tests is that sometimes there is a several day adjustment period while people figure out the new treatment and adjust. It’s important to capture both the adjustment period results and the post-adjustment ones, though. Apple has famously neglected the adjustment period on several product launches, notably maps.

Last, we tested keeping them awake longer during the day. Our hypothesis was that they would therefore, be more tired at night and would sleep longer as a result. This may have been slightly true, we saw minor increases in length of sleep, but we didn’t account for the stress and exhaustion it would cause by keeping them awake and making them unhappy. It also took significantly longer to get them to settle down and sleep at night as they were overtired and fussy. The lesson for testing: don’t sacrifice other metrics for a small gain in one.

You can’t make me sleep!

Many of these tests were inconclusive. This is largely due to the sample size. With a sample population like Facebook, tests can be done in small segments and achieve statistical significance very quickly. With twins, it’s hard to know what is a real result and what is personality or natural progression. In order to more accurately test, we may need to increase the sample size. Triplets would come in handy for this. Maybe someone else’s triplets though, we are definitely not ready for that!

This also shows the importance of the test, measure, iterate process. Though several of the methods didn’t show large improvements, put together they may. By using the treatment as the control when it outperforms the control, small improvements get stacked. By continuing to try new things quickly and moving on, it’s easy to come up with new ideas to try. You don’t need to move the mountain, just move little handfuls of dirt over a long time. With this approach to parenting, the boys can continuously grow as well. And with luck, so will our sanity, well-being, and lives as parents.

This piece was originally published on Dad On The Run.

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Did you hear that? That was the sound of Nordstrom and Maisonette making all your kid's summer wardrobe dreams come true.

Nordstrom partnered with Maisonette to create the perfect in-store pop-up shop from May 24th-June 23rd, featuring some of our favorite baby and kids brands, like Pehr, Zestt Organics, Lali and more. (Trust us, these items are going to take your Instagram feed to the next level of cuteness. 😍) Items range from $15 to $200, so there's something for every budget.

Pop-In@Nordstrom x Maisonette

Maisonette has long been a go-to for some of the best children's products from around the world, whether it's tastefully designed outfits, adorable accessories, or handmade toys we actually don't mind seeing sprawled across the living room rug. Now their whimsical, colorful aesthetic will be available at Nordstrom.

The pop-in shops will be featured in nine Nordstrom locations: Costa Mesa, CA; Los Angeles, CA; Chicago, IL; Austin, TX; Dallas, TX; Bellevue, WA; Seattle, WA; Toronto, ON; and Vancouver, BC.

Don't live nearby? Don't stress! Mamas all across the U.S. and Canada will be able to access the pop-in merchandise online at nordstrom.com/pop

But don't delay―these heirloom-quality pieces will only be available at Nordstrom during the pop-in's run, and then they'll be over faster than your spring break vacation. Happy shopping! 🛍

This article is sponsored by Nordstrom. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Summer is upon us and my mind is already whirling with all the exciting plans I'm going to do with my toddler. We're going to go to the zoo, and the beach, and I want to see his face the first time he sees a firefly.

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Life

One of the toughest parts of having the kids home all summer is finding activities that will keep everyone entertained. But, you don't have to go on a grand adventure or spend tons of money to do that, mama. 👏

Set aside one day (or night) a week for an at-home movie night. Make some popcorn, order pizza, lay out pillows and blankets in the living room and curl up with your favorites to watch a movie. Not only will a film keep the kiddos entertained for a couple hours, but they're great conversation starters and can teach valuable life lessons. Want to make it more special? Surprise them with a toy that will give them a hint of what you'll be watching that night!

We picked our favorites that both kids (and mama) will enjoy.

1. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

Our toy pick: Toothless plush dragon

We're back with our favorite dragon and Viking, Toothless and Hiccup, for the final installment of this trilogy. On the search for the Hidden World to keep all of the dragons safe, we'll see how far Hiccup and Toothless will go for love, friendship and family. (Psst: The film is finally available on Blu-ray and DVD!)

We interviewed Jay Baruchel (the voice of Hiccup) and writer and director Dean DeBlois. One of Baruchel's fondest memories as a child was watching movies with his mom and having conversations about the themes throughout the films—he hopes HTTYD does the same for families.

DeBlois touched on a theme that every parent can relate to. "There's nothing quite like raising a child and then, despite wanting to protect them and shield them from all of the unknowns in the world, you have to let them go and follow their destiny—and that's a difficult process... that's one of the big topics we tackle in the movie." Now cuddle your littles a little tighter.

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2. Christopher Robin

Our toy pick: Winnie The Pooh

This film will bring your own childhood memories back as you make new ones with your kids. Grown Christopher Robin recieves a surprise visit from Winnie the Pooh and the two go on an adventure in the Hundred Acre Wood to find all of Pooh's friends. On this journey, you and your kids will follow along to see what happens when Christopher isn't excited about childhood wonder anymore, but focused on his own priorities... until his daughter encounters the beloved characters.

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3. Mary Poppins Returns

Our toy pick: Illustrated edition of the book

The original kids are now grown with their own children, but while going through a tough time and dealing with personal tragedy, Mary Poppins is back to lend a helping hand again.

Throughout the magical adventure, Mary Poppins has a surprise around every turn and the use of imagination is a necessity—but the bigger lesson isn't for the smaller Banks kids. There are valuable lessons about grief, dealing with emotions and becoming resilient throughout.

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4. Smallfoot

Our toy pick: Sticker pack

Migo is a Yeti who comes across something he's never seen before, a human. After seeing the 'smallfoot,' he goes back to his village to tell everyone, but when no one believed him, he was banished from his home. His quest to prove that humans do exist takes him on an adventure of a lifetime. Kids will learn about friendship, what it means to be a family, and how to deal when you're feeling different from everyone else.

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5. A Wrinkle in Time

Our toy pick: Space water coloring book

This fantasy film will take the entire family on an exploration through time. A young student, Meg, is having trouble accepting that her scientist father disappeared when she was a child. When three figures coming to visit her (Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who, and Mrs. Which) she goes on a brave expedition to find out where her dad is in the universe. Along the way, she'll learn how to conquer her fears, persevere and the importance of kindness, no matter what.

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Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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It's hard to believe that summer is upon us... wasn't it snowing and dark outside at 4 p.m., like, yesterday? Now the days are longer, the kiddos are starting to wrap up their school years, and as luck would have it, all the retailers are offering MAJOR deals in honor of Memorial Day.

Need to invest in a new bike for the summer? We got you. Time to restock the kids bathing suits? Got you there, too. Desperate to get yourself a new mattress, but don't want to pay full price? Fear not, we've still got you!

We checked in with our absolute favorite brands to find out what deals they're offering, and we corralled all that info into one tidy story.

Here are all the best online sales for this week and weekend. Happy Memorial Day, everyone!

Home

Parachute: Get 20% off the entire site, including towels, sheets, duvet inserts, pillows, rugs and more.

Wayfair: Get 60% off backyard play items, 65% off patio furniture, and 50% off grills and fire pits.

Cost Plus World Market: Up to 50% on outdoor furniture and top sellers.

Target: Up to 30% off patio and home items, 25% off grilling favorites and 20% off select Lego sets.

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BuyBuyBaby: 20% off Bob strollers, $30 off Stokke highchairs, 20% of many nursery furniture brands and more!

Walmart: Get massive discounts sitewide, including home, kitchen, kids and outdoor gear.

Best Buy: Get up to 40% off appliances.

Maisonette: Shop the brand's biannual home sale, which is happening this weekend.

Pottery Barn: Up to 50% off all outdoor items.

Pottery Barn Kids: Up to 60% off kids furniture, bedding and decor.

West Elm: Up to 40% off outdoor furniture.

Grandin Road: Get 30% off all outdoor furniture this weekend.

Frontgate: Up to 25% off outdoor furniture, outdoor entertaining essentials and pool and beach gear.

Dyson: Get $100 off the Dyson V8 Absolute and Dyson Ball Animal 2 and $150 off the Dyson Pure Hot+Cool Link HP02.

Mixbook: Get 50% off $149+, 40% Off $99+, or 30% off sitewide with code: DADSGRADSA.DADSGRADSA.

Williams-Sonoma: Get 20% off all outdoor cooking and dining essentials.

All Modern: From May 22 (starting at 9AM) to May 28, take up to 65% off + an extra 15% off with code LETSGO.

Joybird: Get 30% off couches, chairs, ottomans, beds and more.

Houzz: Up to 80% off outdoor essentials, bathroom vanities, bar stools, area rugs and more.

Artifact Uprising: Receive a code for your free 5 x 5" Color Series Photo Book after any purchase (a $20 value).

We Are Knitters: Up to 25% off on select kits and yarn balls.

S'well: Take advantage of a rare sale from this water bottle brand.

Lumens: Save up to 50% on modern lighting, fans and furniture.

Brooklinen: Get 10% off your first order.

Snowe Home: Spend $300 in May, get a $50 credit to home essentials brand in June.

Lulu and Georgia: 15% off $300 (code: GOOD); 20% off $600 (code: BETTER), 25% off $900 (code: BEST).

Lovesac: Up to 35% off sactionals.

Sleep

Marpac: Up to $300 off Yoga Sleep mattresses and 25% off all bedding accessories, including sheets, pillows and the new weighted blanket.

Parachute: Get 20% off the brand's new luxury mattress.

Eight Sleep: $200 off and free in-home delivery.

Bear: 20% off the purchase of a mattress, plus two free pillows with the code MD20.

Tempurpedic: Up to $700 off select mattress sets, plus 25% off pillows and bedding.

Cocoon by Sealy: $150 off all Cocoon Chill mattresses plus two free pillows and a free set of sheets ($337 Total Value).

Lull: $150 off any size mattress purchase.

Sapira: 18% off all mattresses, plus two free pillows with the purchase of a mattress.

Zinus: 15% off Zinus Exclusive Mattresses and platform beds.

Helix: $100 off a mattress and two free pillows with code MDW100, $150 off a purchase of $1,250+ and two free pillows with code MDW150, $200 off a purchase of $1,750+ with code MDW200.

Nectar: $125 off a mattress, plus two free pillows.

Layla: $125 off a mattress plus two free pillows.

Wayfair: Save 31% on all Nora mattresses.

Allswell: 15% off mattresses and 30% off all bedding with code SUMMER.

Purple: Up to $100 off a mattress, plus a free set of sheets.

Tulo: With code MEMDAY, receive two free pillows and up to $378 off.

Ostrich Pillow: Take advantage of the travel pillow's 20% off flash sale on Memorial Day.

Lifestyle

Jack Rogers: Get up to 50% off the brand's iconic sandals.

Aurate: Depending on your order value, get up to 25% off the brand's fine jewelry.

Primary: Take advantage of one of our favorite kid clothing brand's massive warehouse sale, happening right now.

Anthropologie: Get an extra 25% off all sale items.

Kid Made Modern: 20% off all arts and crafts, 40% off apparel and home decor.

Paravel: Get 20% off the purchase's of the site's collection of sophisticated luggage and bags (bundles not included).

Antidote: Get 20% off sitewide with code MOTHERLY20.

ASOS: 25% off the entire site.

Target: Tees and tanks for the whole family starting at $4, swimwear starting at $8

Gap: Up to 50% off everything.

Old Navy: 50% off all tees, tanks, shorts and swim.

Prana: Select activewear styles are now 25% off.

Macy's: 20% off sale & clearance clothing & accessories, Jewelry, home items, watches.20% off sale & clearance clothing & accessories, Jewelry, home items, watches.

Shopbop: Up to 40% off 5,000+ styles.

M. Gemi: Get 25% off the site's gorgeous handmade Italian shoes that are currently on sale.

Mark & Graham: 20% off the sitewide with code SAVE20.

Nordstrom: Shop Nordstrom's Half yearly sale, with up to 50% off clothing, shoes and accessories.

Bloomingdales: The brand's Big Brown Bag sale is happening now, with up to 70% off site-wide.

Saks: Get up to 50% off the entire site.

Untuckit: Get 25% off sitewide, including the brand's famous no-tuck-necessary button-down shirts for men and women.

Holly & Tanager: 20% off the entire site.

Kipling: Buy one sale item get a second sale item 70% off through May 30.

Soma: Get 15% off your entire purchase or 30% off your purchase of $150 or more, or 40% your purchase of $200 or more. Get 15% off your entire purchase or 30% off your purchase of $150 or more, or 40% your purchase of $200 or more.

Beauty

Beautycounter: Get a free summer sun set with a $125 purchase.

Birchbox: This weekend only, get a two-for-one Birchbox discount.

Charlotte Tilbury: Get two free samples at checkout.

Stila: Get an extra 30% off sale items.

Algenist: Get 20% off $100, 25% off $200, 30% off $300.

The Body Shop: Get 40% of most of the site's items, and get a free American flag tote with a $60 purchase.

Make: 25% off all orders from May 23rd - May 27th with code MEMORIAL25OFF.

IGK: Get a free Airplane Mode Kit with a $40 purchase.

La-Roche Posay: 25% off when you spend $50; two free deluxe samples when you spend $65 with code MDW2019.

Clinique: Get a full-size freebie and a four-piece kit with any $55 purchase.

Shu Umera: Get a free mini paddle brush when you spend $85 with code FAST19.

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy.You've got this.

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By the time I became a mother at 30, I was well-versed in healing my personal anxiety. I began teaching myself mediation through books I found in the library and then when I was 19 I met my yoga teacher who also taught Zen meditation. My first experience with Zen meditation was powerful. After I got past the discomfort of stillness and silence I began having powerful visions—some I still remember to this day.

When I had my first child, I was well-practiced in maintaining my anxiety and being aware that, while it would probably never go away, it didn't have to be something that would hold me back. Instead, it could become an asset.

Anxiety could be a spiritual antenna for me to pay attention to what circumstances don't work for me, especially in motherhood. I could use it as a tool rather than as something that would hold me back.

In some ways, motherhood was its own spiritual awakening for me. During my pregnancy, I was also closing my business of five years and wrapping up a divorce―on top of feeling totally nauseous the whole time. It was the perfect storm to trigger anxiety.

Despite those challenges, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood felt so natural to me. This was what I was supposed to be doing―it was like the sun was rising and leaving all that destruction behind.

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Of course, meditation was a huge help. But as a mother, your meditation practice changes so much. During my pregnancy, I was so nervous about not having that time to myself―and for the first few years, I never really had 20 minutes to sit in silence and stillness (as any new mom knows!). So if I did get time during one of my daughter's longer naps, it was cherished.

I went from having a regular meditation practice to having a "meditate when you can" practice, and the sporadic schedule made my meditation an even more honored practice. It was something I got to do instead of something I just did.

Motherhood made me show up for meditation more presently―it became something I really worked at.

As a result, I felt myself becoming a more present mother and feeling more attuned to the energy of my child. In that first year, so many developmental changes are happening, and my meditation gave me a sensor to read into those changes. I even felt like it made up for the loss of sleep in a lot of ways.

I really feel as though motherhood itself is a meditation. Whether you get to sit in silence or not, you are so present―so aware of this kid―you are already in this state of awareness that meditation brings. Just by being a mom, you are meditating enough.

Whenever I'm able to find peace and stillness―no matter what may be happening in our lives―the practice kicks in. I take a deep breath and drop whatever I was doing before to be more present with my daughter. I grant myself grace when I have to multitask because I always know I can come back to that presence. For me, part of meditation is noticing that I need to take a moment to check in with myself, take a deep breath and recenter.

The good part of meditation is that there's always more to learn. I'm continuously growing―both as a mother and a person. Even in the most chaotic moments of motherhood, there's always a place of stillness I can come to.

The moment I became a mother was such a beautiful one―like waking up and knowing this was what I was meant to be doing. And just like meditation, it's a practice that brings me peace every day.

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